Regional differences in swinging?

[Spoomonkey]

Recently, we visited some friends in Reno, NV.

We live in Columbus, OH.

You would think that swinging would be the same from one state to the next, with maybe a few minor differences. We were surprised to find out that this was NOT true. In fact, it was such a culture shock that we discussed on the plane ride home that had we started swinging in Reno, we would undoubtedly not be in it today.

It honestly seemed like the entire scene was "advanced". It would have been far too big a "leap" from where we were as beginners to the scene we encountered in Reno.

For one thing, the two clubs we visited in Reno each had one large play room. Our club has multiple private rooms. We have never played in a group room and didn't feel like we would be able to. Our fear of clubs when we first started out was that we would walk into one big orgy...

Well - Reno would have confirmed those fears

Also, it seemed that in Ohio clubs, people mingle more... It could be the difference in size (our club is bigger and more "house like" - their's is smaller and more "bar like"). But it seemed like people sort of found a seat and stayed there.

I was kind of surprised by the difference and wondered if folks who have traveled have ever noticed such a cultural divide?

Is this just a Nevada thing (they have a different atmosphere, I think, due to the amount of adult entertainment) or does it really differ so much from place to place?

Spoomonkey

[JustAskJulie]

I don't know that it's a location thing. I think it goes back to another topic we discussed recently on clubs (and those who are drawn to a particular one). I think it depends a lot on whoever sets the club up, as well as what is allowed in that particular state. In AL, for instance, you won't find any ON-premise clubs, because they simply aren't legal (you have to go to Nashville for that), but you'll find lots of socials. Even at socials the vibes can be really different depending on the people who run it and the people who end up at it (some seemingly more social, while others seem much more sexual). Often, too, I think what happens is that once one club is established, when someone decides to start a new club, often their frame of reference doesn't extend very far beyond the first one, so that is what they base it on.

[curiousagain]

Julie, as one that has never been to a club I have to ask. Are you saying it is kind of like vanilla clubs. Some tend to cater or be set up for one crowd and another for another type of crowd. Even among bars that play the same type of music and have the same type of furniture, some tend to have a young crowd, some an older crowd. One will be wild for a vanilla bar, while another is less dancing and more talking, etc. ?

[TNT]

That's bascially how I see it CA....like Julie said.

We have had the opprotunity to visit clubs from one coast line to the other. What we've found is that they are all basically the same, yet different...(how's that for an answer? ).

Even in our small coummunity there are four different socials. Each and every one of them are different. The difference comes from the people who attend them and that changes each time a social is held.

Depending on the night, you might have a crowd that is extremely social...sitting, chatting, dancing, but not much playing. The next time you go to the same social the crowd is more wild and flirting, flashing and playing are such that it could possibly scare off someone who is new to swinging.

Having been lucky enough in our travels to have attended some clubs more than once, we've found this to be the same at them. So...our personal conclusion is that it's not the club, but the people who attend that make it either wild or mild.

Teresa

[VegasLee]

It is not really a Nevada thing that you saw there.

In Vegas you will not find a club like those two in Reno. There is no selling of alcohol at the places in Vegas as all. Most of the places in Vegas, the commercial ones you can not even bring in alcohol. Soft drinks only.

At the two main known places in Vegas that are considered swing parties by the locals are in large private homes where you bring your own alcohol. They both have group and private rooms.

At any place though we found it is the people that make the party, not the place. We have found this true all over the country. Seens some beautiful clubs but the party sucked. Found some real dumps but some of the best parties we have ever been to also. More then anything else we believe it is what you make of it.

[txduo2000]

That is so true, Lee. It definitely is what you make of it.

Here in Dallas, we have two types of swinger establishments: off-premise clubs, which basically operate as nightclubs. At some you can bring your own alcohol and they provide setups, at others they provide a full-service bar - complete with pricey drinks. But no playing at any of the off-premise clubs.

Then we have on-premise parties. These are held in private homes, generally owned by the hosts, though the homes are not residential in nature. These are our preference, as they have a club atmosphere in the common areas, guests bring their own alcohol and setups are provided, and there are a variety of play rooms, semi-private and group rooms. The on-premise parties are somewhat "clothing optional", but no sexual activity occurs in the common areas. These are reserved for mingling and dancing.

Of the two on-premise parties in our city, one house is larger than the other, there are different amenities in each place. One is not more extravagant or dumpier than the other, but they are unique in their own ways. We definitely prefer one over the other, and it is definitely because of the people and the atmosphere created by the hosts. At one of the homes, the hosts are really into BDSM, though it is not generally an atmosphere that they foster for the parties. However, they have had "issues" involving their BDSM that put a damper on one of the parties that we attended, and we have not been back since. We are making an exception for a friend who is having her birthday party there in a couple of weeks, but it's just not our cup of tea.

But, I will say this, we recently attended an on-premise party in Louisiana, about a 2.5 hour drive from us. This one, by far, blew our local parties out of the water! Beautiful home, outstanding layout, wonderful amenities, terrific hosts, great guests! And the really great thing is that our favorite local party place just came under new ownership, and the new owners are close friends with the Louisiana party hosts and will be emulating many of their designs. We can't wait!

[good times]

We have never been to any clubs outside of Reno so we don't have anything else to compare our clubs to. We hope to remedy that situation next year as we have plans to go to Vegas and check out the Rooster and are also making plans to visit a club or two in other parts of the country.

One thing that is said here that really hits home though is that it is the people that make the party. For instance, when we took the Spoo's to our favorite club last weekend, it was like old home week, we saw people we hadn't seen in two years that night. The problem whith that from a person visiting for the first time was that most of the people just sat around visiting with folks they hadn't seen in some time so the atmosphere was very subdued compared to what I would call an average night. A few weeks ago we went to the same club and it was a much more lively atmosphere with much more mingling and interaction between everyone.

When we first started going to the club the management had it set up so that it was much easier and economical to get a room in the attached hotel if you wanted to play more privately. About a year ago the club sold and the new management has raised the price of the rooms to the point that getting a room isn't as much of an option as it used to be. When we first started we would get a room whenever we played with somebody. I think we had attended the club regularly for at least 6 months before we ever played in the public play room. I do agree with the Spoo's though, if we were just starting out now, it would probably take us much longer to actually play with others because we too were intimidated by the public play areas at first.

Things are looking up in Reno though, some friends of ours are currently converting a house to an on-premise club styled somewhat after the Red Rooster in Vegas. So we are looking forward to seeing how their new club turns out.

[GerdOEvert]

Maryland {DC Suburbs} vs. California {Alameda}

Some years ago we were at on premises clubs years ago, in both places.

The California Club was smaller and friendlier. It was in an old house that had been convertd into a club.

The Maryland Club was in an old bar that had been conerted to a Club with indoor pool, big sunken jacuzzi, showers that could hold a dozen, and private rooms that were enough for twenty.

They were both fun, but the California Club seemed to be more intellectual and sophisticated. Also less cliqueish.

Otto & Eileen

[sereneiders]

In other post I asked to know "cultural differences" in the lifestyle, among other things how club works and so forth.

What I see is there are a broad range of club flavors in USA. There were differences pointed out, some related to legal issues from a particular State, while others seems somehow arbitrary or even weird for me (compared against our clubs).

So far, then we have:
on-premise - you can do it right here - with or without public areas and/or private rooms where to do it
off-premise - you can meet here but do it elsewhere

those which have bar and sells alcohol (an may or may not let you bring alcohol?)
those which have bar but doesn't sell alcohol (and you may bring it in some and you may not in others)
those which doesn't have bar (?) (and you bring your own)

"Clubs" that are commercial busines and people who run parties at home,
Among the "clubs", some are really clubs in the sense that you need aproval, and some where you can just step into as if it were a disco.

So... how am I going? If I am following this, WOW... what a range!

As example, besides people running parties, and as far as I know, clubs here are like discos, you bough your ticket and step into, every club have a bar and sells alcohol. The idea of bringing your own alcohol to any place, wether swinger or vanilla, except a private party here is... almost suicidal, here it would be the fatest way to get bounced, and because of this, without a legal issue, is what seemed really weird to me.

The club we're regulars is an on-premise one, it have common and well...seldom private places (there are curtains but people use to peek), but this is because of legal issues. Anyway, if things get wild enough, people may end up doint their stuff (Whatever it be) anywhere, including the dance floor and even over the bar. I wonder how odd this sounds for you.

[good times]

Sounds like your clubs are very similar to the ones in Reno sereneiders.

[imsnowman]

Originally Posted by txduo2000

But, I will say this, we recently attended an on-premise party in Louisiana, about a 2.5 hour drive from us. This one, by far, blew our local parties out of the water! Beautiful home, outstanding layout, wonderful amenities, terrific hosts, great guests! And the really great thing is that our favorite local party place just came under new ownership, and the new owners are close friends with the Louisiana party hosts and will be emulating many of their designs. We can't wait!

Where was the place in La? Is it reviewed in the club listing?

[DBL D]

I am sure that the people make the party. It changes everytime we attend a dance at the same place. Some people might look at it as a breath of fresh-filtered air, to attend a club that had a large group room; but others I'm sure would find it very threatening.

So Spoo, since you aren't beginners anymore, did you like the club even though you had the other thoughts?

Male D

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by DBL D

So Spoo, since you aren't beginners anymore, did you like the club even though you had the other thoughts?

Actually, we did like the club on the first night. This was the GTs' "home club". Like they said, there were lots of people they knew, so we were kind of thrust into the middle of the crowd. We felt comfortable and right at home.

But, we also knew that regardless of what we did, our plane was leaving soon

I do believe the people make the experience - but my question is, is the culture affected by the people? If so, how much? And how does this affect people checking out the lifestyle for the first time?

The example I used when talking to Mr Good Times about it was different message boards. We landed here - and the experience has been incredibly positive. It wasn't until we'd been here a year that we even realized there were other boards. I have honestly only checked out one other - I am "board monogamous" - and it was down right scary.

Had we landed there first, we'd have never given this place a chance.

Granted, many people are much more adventurous than we are - and I think the swinging gods knew that, placing a much easier path to walk in front of us... We were eased into the lifestyle...

Don't get me wrong - the club they took us to was wonderful. The people were friendly and we felt that we could have done well there, if that had been our intention. But, looking back on how "twitchy" we were in the beginning, I just know how we would have reacted...

I do think the swinging culture is different from place to place. This is obviously driven by the people involved in any given area - the regulars at the club, the people you meet on the internet, etc.

It just sparked some interesting thoughts...

Then again, I have used the term "the psychology of swinging" so much lately that Mrs Spoo is probably going to buy me a bow tie and white lab coat soon...

Spoomonkey

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Then again, I have used the term "the psychology of swinging" so much lately that Mrs Spoo is probably going to buy me a bow tie and white lab coat soon...Spoomonkey

Now there's an interesting switch.... a monkey in a white lab coat and bow tie

Mmmmmm, Dr. Spoomonkey facelick

Mrs Spoomonkey

[Deptydog]

Mrs. Deptydog and I have attended parties in the Richmond, Virginia area, North Carolina, and now down here in Florida. The people at each party made or broke the party. In VA and NC, the parties were off-premesis, held in a hotel. Here in FL, the only parties we've been to have been on-premesis.

In some places, the crowd seems to group together in cliques and they don't seem real interested in meeting anyone new. However, in others, the hosts would introduce people around and everyone seemed to have a much better time.

I think the Mrs. and I are really going to like Florida.