Why would my husband want to see me with another man?

[tncouple1]

Hi all,

My husband is interested in watching me be with another man (MFM)... I have never done it before but it is not out of the question...

I just have not figured out why a husband would want to watch his wife have sex with another man.

I just can't see how he is going to be satisfied just watching me.

[Otho]

From personal experience...

I remember the unbelievable "conflict" i had over building up to the first time I watched my wife with another guy.. a incredible possessiveness.. a sexual thrill.. My heart beat incredibly hard for days leading up to the first time

And then actually watching it happen.. my mind was going a million miles a hour... confused.. aroused.. angry.. frustrated.. horny.. excited..There has never been a higher high then that experience

Now, to counter that, I know one couple where the actual experience was very bad... the anger and his need to "own" his wife overwealmed what else he was getting out of it and it turned out bad

[tncouple1]

Thanks for the info

[couplewanting50]

A man who is a good lover is a man who wishes for his partner's pleasure and fulfillment. His excitement is in seeing her pleasure, seeing her in response, watching her arousal, seeing her from, literally, a different perspective.

The first time I saw my woman guiding another man's cock into her was an incredible rush for me. If a man wishes to feed his partner's sexuality, then he wishes for her to have.

[jeff n nikki]

wow..couplewanting50!!!!!!! was going to post a reply but you pretty much hit the nail on the head and drove it home!!!! not much to say now lol.

[hilltop]

Originally Posted by Otho

From personal experience...

I remember the unbelievable "conflict" i had over building up to the first time I watched my wife with another guy.. a incredible possessiveness.. a sexual thrill.. My heart beat incredibly hard for days leading up to the first time

And then actually watching it happen.. my mind was going a million miles a hour... confused.. aroused.. angry.. frustrated.. horny.. excited..There has never been a higher high then that experience

Now, to counter that, I know one couple where the actual experience was very bad... the anger and his need to "own" his wife overwealmed what else he was getting out of it and it turned out bad

Otho described it very well. The amazing thing is all of those thoughts and feelings go through you over and over in micro seconds and in no particular order.

[SanDiegoM4cpl]

here is the single males perspective on it.

i have been with many couples, its actually my favorite and its enjoyment within the man seeing his wife let loose and have fun. you are everything to him and i am the one that for a few hours will give you pleasure and butterflies inside your stomach while feeling something new. it could be his deisre to see you with a younger guy, a guy more hung, or whatever, but his desire is to se you roll your eyes back in your head, and thoroughly enjoy the moment. for some they prefer the eyecontact between them to be contstant and some the man just hopes to disappear in the room and watch as you are enjoying the moments.

ask him specifically what it is that he likes. does he want to see you kiss the guy? does he want you to scream his name while the other guy is inside you? does he want to slip away unnoticed while you enjoy? this event is yours. you need to seek the person that will abide by your rules and bring satisfaction to you both. talk to your partner about rules, desires, what you would like to happen or not liek to happen.

most importantly enjoy. enjoy each others love and if it happens enjoy the bliss that a 3rd can add.

kyle

[swing52001]

tncouple; male here and you have asked the same question that I wish my wife woud ask of me. I have, for some time, suggested to her that I think that we would enjoy her being with another man. Specifically, I would enjoy seeing her enjoy another man. Obviously it needs to be the right man.That is the guiding criteria for me. He would have to help her to enjoy the experience, not for me but for her. And by doing so, it would be for me too. That requires her to look at it as an opportunity. A chance to have a good time while providing gratification for both her active partner and her passive one. Sadly, she has not grasped the idea and until she does, I'll just read her about it here and try to find ways to help her get comfortable with the idea.
Thanks for the opportunity. Hope you enjoy when you're ready.

[Mike and Jan]

You wonder if he's going to be satisfied with just watching you with another man?

Good question and I think it needs to be answered to your satisfaction.

Now, my first experience seeing my wife with a friend was something that I'll never forget. In fact, his wife was there with me watching and I was much more interested in my wife and him than his wife. And, she was cute too! We did have sex as well, and it was very good, but the sexiest thing in that first encouter was seeing my wife with him. And, after over 30 years, it's still one of my best sexual memories.

But, I do think that a lot of husbands use the MFM threesome as a way of getting thier wives to become swingers so the husbands can have other women too. If that's a problem with you then make it clear to him that it ain't going there!

And, some husbands use the MFM as a way for them to explore thier bisexual curiosities. Quite a few men find these things interesting as they get older. And, you just don't admit to a buddy that you've even thought about it. LOL! So, in a MFM threesome, well now! If this would be a problem with you then you need to address it too.

But, there are a whole lot of men who just want to watch their wives being attended to without anything for themselves. Well, nothing for themselves during the encounter! Afterwards..., well there are lots of rewards! I can see where it wouldn't make sense to you, but, being with your wife after she's just been with another man is really hot! After experiencing it first-hand, I just wonder why the term "sloppy seconds" ever had negative conotations! It's great!

Sure hope some of this has helped you, and I really, really wish you good luck in finding that perfect 'other' that can make both you and your husband's fantasies come true perfectly. Don't hesitate to be very picky and, enjoy the search. The search for the perfect 'other' can be about as much fun as the event. And, it gives you both a chance to really discuss what you're both wanting while deciding on who will be participating.

[HotMoCpl]

First off let me say this; the Eskimo peoples took offense if they offered they're wife to a male visitor or friend. I find it a thrill to even think about seeing my wife with another man and after she was done with him, we would go home and have torridly hot sex. I for one, believe that this is the ultimate compliment and tribute a man can pay to his wife. Quite frankly, the best would be to have her do me and another guy at the same time.

Sorry, maybe I sound a little twisted.

[dayhiker]

Originally Posted by HotMoCpl

First off let me say this; the Eskimo peoples took offense if they offered they're wife to a male visitor or friend.

HotMoCpl - I thought I remembered seeing a movie when I was in my teens of one of the 1st white man to go north to visit the Eskimos in Canada. The movie had a lot of confusion then the husband offered his wife to the white male who had been invited to spend the night in the egloo.
I've just recently learned that there are some cultures that have had what is being called "sexual hospitality."

Maybe I remeber the movie wrong, or the movie didn't really potray what the Eskimo's believed.

dayhiker

[Carol_Danny]

Originally Posted by tncouple1

My husband is interested in watching me be with another man (MFM)... I have never done it before but it is not out of the question...

I just have not figured out why a husband would want to watch his wife have sex with another man.

I just can't see how he is going to be satisfied just watching me.

What you are describing is not a MFM threesome. A MFM is when you and your husband bring in another man and all play together. It sounds like your husband wants to bring in another man for a one-on-one experience that he can watch.

We have done this on many occasions, and I find great satisfaction just watching Carol enjoy another man. It is very voyeuristic, and really not for everyone. But for those of us who enjoy it, it is great!

I also set up Gang-Bangs where I invite 4-6 guys to have fun with Carol. Again, I sit back and watch, and usually join in right at the end. We both enjoy this type of play, and find it very fulfilling.

-- Danny

[2much]

This very topic is what first brought me to the board. I am a healthy, sexually active male of 31 - the 1st time I ever fantasized about MFM was in HS; I was dating a girl & my new friend from HS and she hit it off, we never did anything but I found myself fantasizing about sharing her with him. I was confused, and took this confusion along with new fantasies about sharing my girlfriends' with others with me all through college. Never lived it out, and the fantasy fizzled out until I had an encounter with a very hot little number who told me not only had she fantasized about it but she had been with 2 men at once; this brought all the feelings back. After college I got into a relationship with a girl & though she was reluctant at first she eventually helped me live out this fantasy... many times over. I found myself fantasizing about sharing my woman with another man ALL THE TIME. My next relationsihip was with my wife - to my great surprise, she too had been with 2 men at once, many times & loved it. I felt like I had hit the jackpot.
After some time together my wife has changed her perspective - she now wants me and only me and feels uncomfortable about the fact that I am always fantasizing about sharing her. We have only had a few encounters and though I respect her feelings I still have my feelings and they are unchanged.
So, I came here in search of advice - which I found, the board members here are very helpful and insightful.
The short answer to your question - I do not know why a man wants to see or share his woman with another man. All I know is it is an extreme turn-on. I even considered that there was something wrong with me, then I realized this is just a fantasy that I have, something that turns me on and hopefully turns on my partner as well. If it does not turn on your partner on, talk about it.
Hope I was helpful, good luck!

[SBcpl]

Originally Posted by Otho

... And then actually watching it happen.. my mind was going a million miles a hour... confused.. aroused.. angry.. frustrated.. horny.. excited..There has never been a higher high then that experience. ...

Yes, same kind of first-time experience here. Details facelick can be found on our thread in the New Swingers forum.

~ B ~

[Barbieandjay]

My wife and I so far have only had FMF, however she has mentioned she would like a MFM. I have been offstandish about this its not a homophobic issue because I am not bothered by the thought of another man I guess with me its more possesive which I know I shouldn't be. I want her to have what she wants I'm just not sure how comfortable I would be seeing her with another man. Any suggestions?