Spice Up Your Marriage

***JustAskJulie*** · 03-23-2005, 12:12 PM

I was looking at the latest banner campaign for one of the major swingers personal ads sites yesterday and every single banner had the tag line "Spice up your marriage". Nothing on them about swinging, other than in the name of the site (and I can't remember at this point if that was even prominently displayed on the banners). The tag line was what really drew my attention.

I couldn't help but think, are people who already swing likely to even click on a banner that says "spice up your marriage"? I mean they have already done so and are doing so. And is that really all that people looking for swing playmates are looking to do?

Did you get into swinging just to spice up your marriage? How much of a part did that idea play in your desire to swing? Is that something you are still looking for? And what would your reaction be to a site that makes that claim?

LikeMinds321 · 03-23-2005, 12:55 PM

I have seen so many profiles that say "we are looking to spice up our sex life" that I believe the ad sites feel it is a good marketing strategy to draw new members in with a similar statement. Specifically married couples who are hesitant to get involved in swinging because it seems too close to being unfaithful or even anti-marriage.

The ad site rewrote it to say "Spice up your marriage" because that conveys a positive agenda, i.e., keeping a marriage strong, not cheating, giving some new energy to a marriage, etc.

I don't believe experienced swingers would consider the banner off-putting.

We did not get into swinging to spice up our sex life. When we joined ad sites I was surprised to see so many people saying they were.

We decided to romp in bed with others because I had only had sex with my husband and I was interested in experiencing sex with others.

LM

clem · 03-23-2005, 03:14 PM

[QUOTE]GOOD GIRL! Clem

Iplay · 03-23-2005, 05:20 PM

Well me and my wife love sex so much. We sayed let spice it up by meeting a couple for 4 sums. So the banner never realy played a part of are sex life.

flassh · 03-23-2005, 05:41 PM

Great Questions. Here is my answer in the form of a question. What if you took this site and renamed it to spiceandmarriage.com and simply added vanilla topics to the ones already talked about by swingers? Would swingers and vanilla couples simply get along in cyberland? How many reluctant partners would be tickled by the openness and frank discussions found here?

***JustAskJulie*** · 03-23-2005, 05:46 PM

Based on the reactions I've seen on vanilla sex discussion sites, I'd that no they wouldn't get along in cyberland and that reluctant partners would not be any less reluctant, which holds to my original point.

There's a line somewhere that deliniates spicing up your marriage and swinging... I'm fairly sure swinging would spice up someone's marriage (were everything else good in the marriage), but spicing up a marriage does not have to (and in probably most cases should not) include swinging.

LikeMinds321 · 03-23-2005, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flassh

What if you took this site and renamed it to spiceandmarriage.com and simply added vanilla topics to the ones already talked about by swingers?

If people did a search with those words hoping for sites to come up that would assist them in traditional ways to improve their marriage, you'd have people coming to this site who are not interested in swinging and they'd be appalled by this site. You'd also reduce the chances of those interested in swinging finding this board if it had that name.

Quote:

Would swingers and vanilla couples simply get along in cyberland?

I don't think so. If you aren't ready to learn about, or consider swinging, you aren't ready for what you'll find on a swingers' board. The battles to change the other's POV would be exhausting to read, not to mention no fun at all.

Quote:

How many reluctant partners would be tickled by the openness and frank discussions found here?

It would be nice to think many vanilla folks would be pleased. I'm sure some would take a new view of swinging that would be positive. Others, however, would never see the beauty in the open and frank discussions we have.

LM

EmpyreanPleasur · 03-23-2005, 06:24 PM

Maybe I'm not interpreting the words "spice up" correctly, but to me that implies that something is lacking or something is wrong.

For us it's not something to improve a flagging or boring or even sedate sex life...it's just another way of enjoying each other. We never felt we had to "spice things up" and I tend to feel that's the wrong thought to have going into this lifestyle.

Maybe I'm taking it wrong?

***JustAskJulie*** · 03-23-2005, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EmpyreanPleasur

Maybe I'm not interpreting the words "spice up" correctly, but to me that implies that something is lacking or something is wrong.

For us it's not something to improve a flagging or boring or even sedate sex life...it's just another way of enjoying each other. We never felt we had to "spice things up" and I tend to feel that's the wrong thought to have going into this lifestyle.

Maybe I'm taking it wrong?

If you are, then so am I. Which is why the idea of that being the tag line for a swinger site really bothers me.

EmpyreanPleasur · 03-23-2005, 06:32 PM

that's what I THOUGHT you were saying but wasn't really sure!

LikeMinds321 · 03-23-2005, 06:53 PM

Well now I believe I understand your point, Julie.

Your question isn't so much about marketing as it is about what adding "spice" means.

I started a thread about the "spice" word a while back. I wanted to know what swingers meant by it, because to me it means there is something lacking in the marriage.

Maybe I'm not understanding the meaning of that line of thought.

I have tried to be more open about that phrase. But I'm still not comfortable seeing it in people's profiles.

LM

Just_us49 · 03-23-2005, 06:55 PM

I agree Julie. Our marriage was so spiced up and hot before we started swinging I never dreamed it would spice it up. It just seemed like a natural progression. Our marriage is stronger now and our trust deeper, but we didn't start out to spice up anything.

-D

caveman · 03-30-2005, 02:01 PM

We don't need more flavor, we've got so much we're lookin to share.lol

Fred&Wilma · 03-31-2005, 06:53 AM

You can spice up your food and a lot of things in your life.

My opinion is that usually when you hear "Spice Up Your Sex Life" it is between two people as a couple. Dress up, act out parts, risky location etc. to heighten their sexual experience with each other.

But when it is stated in this context it implies all you have to do is join a swingers network. After reading many insightful comments on this board, just by agreeing to participate does not mean it is perfect. That you have to put effort into it, you can have a great time and find your own niche within this lifestyle, but there has to be effort.

The advertisement implies that joining will improve your sex life and without effort it will not. (I think this is why Julie feels irked about this, that it makes it sound easy and a resolution to their problems)

Cases in point (comments I have read)
- We posted our ad, but no one calls. (Get off your butt and reach out to other ads).
- They never called back, they never showed up. (Be prepared to qualify your playmates)

The ad appeals to people who think everything happens in life as easy as turning on a light switch. If the pleasures of life were easy, everyone would have them, but the truth is that only those who put forth the effort achieve them. (Well unless you are Paris Hilton)

I would also like to take this opportunity to thank those who post their comments on the board as it has been a wealth of food for thought for me. The insights are appreciated.

Fred

twobears · 03-31-2005, 12:27 PM

I agree with others on here. we are new to the lifestyle with only a few soft -swing experiences under our belt but have leraned a lot in short time about people and we look over that profile closly, "spice up your marriage " is not a good way to post for swingers, if you got a problem in your marriage sex bed here is not the place you need to be.!!

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03-23-2005, 12:12 PM	#1 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,288 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard	Spice Up Your Marriage I was looking at the latest banner campaign for one of the major swingers personal ads sites yesterday and every single banner had the tag line "Spice up your marriage". Nothing on them about swinging, other than in the name of the site (and I can't remember at this point if that was even prominently displayed on the banners). The tag line was what really drew my attention. I couldn't help but think, are people who already swing likely to even click on a banner that says "spice up your marriage"? I mean they have already done so and are doing so. And is that really all that people looking for swing playmates are looking to do? Did you get into swinging just to spice up your marriage? How much of a part did that idea play in your desire to swing? Is that something you are still looking for? And what would your reaction be to a site that makes that claim?

03-23-2005, 12:55 PM	#2 (permalink)
LikeMinds321 I'll think about it Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 10,099 Location: With Wild Things Status: Married Female	Re: Spice Up Your Marriage I have seen so many profiles that say "we are looking to spice up our sex life" that I believe the ad sites feel it is a good marketing strategy to draw new members in with a similar statement. Specifically married couples who are hesitant to get involved in swinging because it seems too close to being unfaithful or even anti-marriage. The ad site rewrote it to say "Spice up your marriage" because that conveys a positive agenda, i.e., keeping a marriage strong, not cheating, giving some new energy to a marriage, etc. I don't believe experienced swingers would consider the banner off-putting. We did not get into swinging to spice up our sex life. When we joined ad sites I was surprised to see so many people saying they were. We decided to romp in bed with others because I had only had sex with my husband and I was interested in experiencing sex with others. LM

03-23-2005, 03:14 PM	#3 (permalink)
clem Here to Stay Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 37 Location: Bakersfield,CA Status: Married Male Swing Lifestyle Name:1desperatehousewife	Re: Spice Up Your Marriage [QUOTE]GOOD GIRL! Clem

03-23-2005, 05:20 PM	#4 (permalink)
Iplay Active Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 36 Location: NJ U.S.A Status: Couple	Re: Spice Up Your Marriage Well me and my wife love sex so much. We sayed let spice it up by meeting a couple for 4 sums. So the banner never realy played a part of are sex life.

03-23-2005, 05:41 PM	#5 (permalink)
flassh Here to Stay Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 57 Location: San Diego Status: Couple	Re: Spice Up Your Marriage Great Questions. Here is my answer in the form of a question. What if you took this site and renamed it to spiceandmarriage.com and simply added vanilla topics to the ones already talked about by swingers? Would swingers and vanilla couples simply get along in cyberland? How many reluctant partners would be tickled by the openness and frank discussions found here?

03-23-2005, 05:46 PM	#6 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,288 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard	Re: Spice Up Your Marriage Based on the reactions I've seen on vanilla sex discussion sites, I'd that no they wouldn't get along in cyberland and that reluctant partners would not be any less reluctant, which holds to my original point. There's a line somewhere that deliniates spicing up your marriage and swinging... I'm fairly sure swinging would spice up someone's marriage (were everything else good in the marriage), but spicing up a marriage does not have to (and in probably most cases should not) include swinging.

03-23-2005, 06:24 PM	#8 (permalink)
EmpyreanPleasur Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 161 Location: Illinois Status: M. Female	Re: Spice Up Your Marriage Maybe I'm not interpreting the words "spice up" correctly, but to me that implies that something is lacking or something is wrong. For us it's not something to improve a flagging or boring or even sedate sex life...it's just another way of enjoying each other. We never felt we had to "spice things up" and I tend to feel that's the wrong thought to have going into this lifestyle. Maybe I'm taking it wrong?

03-23-2005, 06:32 PM	#10 (permalink)
EmpyreanPleasur Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 161 Location: Illinois Status: M. Female	Re: Spice Up Your Marriage that's what I THOUGHT you were saying but wasn't really sure!

03-23-2005, 06:53 PM	#11 (permalink)
LikeMinds321 I'll think about it Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 10,099 Location: With Wild Things Status: Married Female	Re: Spice Up Your Marriage Well now I believe I understand your point, Julie. Your question isn't so much about marketing as it is about what adding "spice" means. I started a thread about the "spice" word a while back. I wanted to know what swingers meant by it, because to me it means there is something lacking in the marriage. Maybe I'm not understanding the meaning of that line of thought. I have tried to be more open about that phrase. But I'm still not comfortable seeing it in people's profiles. LM

03-23-2005, 06:55 PM	#12 (permalink)
Just_us49 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 153 Location: Ohio Status: Couple	Re: Spice Up Your Marriage I agree Julie. Our marriage was so spiced up and hot before we started swinging I never dreamed it would spice it up. It just seemed like a natural progression. Our marriage is stronger now and our trust deeper, but we didn't start out to spice up anything. -D
	__________________ D (male) M (Female) The problem with popular thinking is that it doesn't require you to think at all.

03-30-2005, 02:01 PM	#13 (permalink)
caveman Active Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 22 Location: Michigan Status: Couple/M.Male/M.Female Swing Lifestyle Name:meanddaddy	Re: Spice Up Your Marriage We don't need more flavor, we've got so much we're lookin to share.lol

03-31-2005, 06:53 AM	#14 (permalink)
Fred&Wilma Here to Stay Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 95 Location: Michigan Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:Fred & Wilma	Re: Spice Up Your Marriage You can spice up your food and a lot of things in your life. My opinion is that usually when you hear "Spice Up Your Sex Life" it is between two people as a couple. Dress up, act out parts, risky location etc. to heighten their sexual experience with each other. But when it is stated in this context it implies all you have to do is join a swingers network. After reading many insightful comments on this board, just by agreeing to participate does not mean it is perfect. That you have to put effort into it, you can have a great time and find your own niche within this lifestyle, but there has to be effort. The advertisement implies that joining will improve your sex life and without effort it will not. (I think this is why Julie feels irked about this, that it makes it sound easy and a resolution to their problems) Cases in point (comments I have read) - We posted our ad, but no one calls. (Get off your butt and reach out to other ads). - They never called back, they never showed up. (Be prepared to qualify your playmates) The ad appeals to people who think everything happens in life as easy as turning on a light switch. If the pleasures of life were easy, everyone would have them, but the truth is that only those who put forth the effort achieve them. (Well unless you are Paris Hilton) I would also like to take this opportunity to thank those who post their comments on the board as it has been a wealth of food for thought for me. The insights are appreciated. Fred
	__________________ You can get there from here! Last edited by Fred&Wilma; 03-31-2005 at 06:56 AM.

03-31-2005, 12:27 PM	#15 (permalink)
twobears Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 107 Location: Wasilla Alaska Status: couple Swing Lifestyle Name:runningtwobears	Re: Spice Up Your Marriage I agree with others on here. we are new to the lifestyle with only a few soft -swing experiences under our belt but have leraned a lot in short time about people and we look over that profile closly, "spice up your marriage " is not a good way to post for swingers, if you got a problem in your marriage sex bed here is not the place you need to be.!!

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