Jump to content
Guest everlast

Better sex as a Swinger?

Recommended Posts

Guest everlast

Here's a simple little question for you...

 

They say practice makes perfect. Have you found that through swinging you and/or your partner have gotten better in bed?

 

It also seems that what a lot of swingers seem to enjoy sexually could be considered somewhat extreme (i.e.; DP, gangbangs, dungeon play etc...)

 

Would you say that your experiences as a swinger has made you more receptive or for lack of a better word, more "kinky"? or are these things that you were already doing before you got into swinging?

Share this post


Link to post

Interesting question...

 

I would have to say, that it helped me get over the negativity of "Sex" from my past history. Our experiences in the lifestyle has made me feel much more comfortable on the topic of SEX. The world is SO SEXually deprived, it's not even funny.

 

"Kinky"? Depends...What's kinky to one, may not be kinky to another. I think it's more like experiencing SEX out of your "comfort" zone. Expressing yourself SEXually, exploring fantasies beyond your wildest desires, and sharing the experiences with your Soulmate (BIGEST SEXUAL high)!

 

As you further explore your SEXuality, you open avenues that you never had the nerve to try and experience. I think its pretty cool! It's like this SEXual high...You're enjoying SEX SO much, that you just can't have enough! I hate having "limits" on myself...

 

Expand your horizons...SEXUALLY! :cool:

Share this post


Link to post

More uninhibited, I'd say. As you gain confidence in yourself within the lifestyle, that alone would make you a better lover, IMO.

 

Dan

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Len & Ding

Well I am a scientist and tend to quantify things so let me put it this way. We are in our middle years and have been married just about forever. Before we discovered the lifestyle the total number of orgasms that my wife and I experianced in a typical month was four or five. Now after a bit of "soft swinging", that is a pretty fair number for one evening. Can you imagine what the number will be if we ever crossover to full swing? In mathematics that is called an exponential progression :D

Share this post


Link to post

I don't think that being swingers has resulted in us being more kinky if by that you mean things like anal sex and BDSM. We are not into that sort of thing. However soon after we joined the lifestyle we became more uninhibited and open in our sexual behaviour as we shared sexual experiences with other couples. For example we really enjoy group sex where we can watch each other fucking other partners. Over the many years we have been swinging we have also become more confident about our sexual prowess and our ability to satisfy not only each other but also the many other sexual partners we have had. It is a case of practice makes perfect I guess.

Share this post


Link to post

This issue may apply to some and not to others. But I haven't seen any postings on it.

 

Once you have gotten into the lifestyle does it affect your normal sex life? And what is "normal"?

 

Some swingers out there saysswinging makes your sex life better with your partner. Or does it make your sex life only better when you are with other partners?

 

I've seen where some swingers don't really have a sex life unless they are swinging. Are there more out there that don't admit to this?

 

So I guess the simple question is, "Do you only have sex when you are swinging"?

 

Is there a group of swingers like this?

 

Thought it make for some good brain food.

Share this post


Link to post

This is a really interesting topic.

 

For us, just the concept of swinging reminds us to 'connect' with each other. The last few years have been tremendously hard on us personally. We have ailing relatives and friends and have spent more time focused on them than we have in our own personal sexual relationship.

 

Quite honestly, there are times that we do not have sex together unless we are swinging, (or directly there after). Swinging happens to be one of the few joint activities that we share and making time for that is often impossible. But it is also nearly impossible to make time for our own other personal recreations.

 

My husband hasn't fished, hunted or played golf in nearly two years. I haven't read all the books I wanted or attended to my gardening like I wanted in almost two years. Our time is spent tending to other peoples homes and transporting them to and from doctor's or hospitals and trying to keep a business afloat, one that we had expected to sell two years ago and retire. But, all that changed.

 

We would certainly have more sex, if we had time for it. Making the time is tough though.

Share this post


Link to post

I wouldn't say that the idea of swinging is to enhance our sexual relationship. Our sex life is not like it was when we first met. You know the three times a day and more on weekends.. My wife is a very sexual woman. Something that I feel I should share with others so to speak. I want to be in the presence of my wife recieving orgasms from someone other than me. I am a guy and I like sex, plain and simple. More than that, I too, am a very sexual and loving person. I find myself attracted to people in general. I also like the sexual energy that other couples provide to the atmosphere around us both. And lastly, I like to talk about whatever it is you can't talk about normally and talking to other swingers is great. Stuff like, "Hey your wife is hot!" or "You really are a sexy person."

Share this post


Link to post

All of the above. The sex between myself and the mrs has been much better and more often since was have started swinging.

 

Plus , we have definitely done things and tried things she especially would not have even concidered until we started playing.

 

In fact, there are some things she has done that I had tried to talk to her about, but she only did after someone else suggested it.

Share this post


Link to post

Would have to say that sex between us since we started swinging has gotten better, mainly because we have learned different things from being with other couples, and found different things that turn us on. As far as kinky, we don't consider ourselves kinky at all, but we don't mind doing some exploring with our sexuality. That's what we enjoy most about swinging, is we are able to so to speak go outside of ourselves. So has swinging improved our sex life, most deffinatly. The reason we got started in the first place was to spice things up and they deffinatly got spiced up. Before we started swinging, our sex life hit a dull patch, where we just were not enjoying it as much, but we can easily say thanks to swinging, it has really fired things up between us sexually, and even has brought us closer together as a husband and wife.

 

:8-0::

Share this post


Link to post

I don't know if I'd say we are more kinky...I'm much more verbal about what I like or don't...and we use more toys than we did before, and more positions...ya, sex is MUCH better now...but not 'weird' or anything.

Share this post


Link to post

Our sex life was already great hence our initial discussion about swinging a couple of years ago. We are very sexual and also very open about our needs, wants and desires.

 

We find that swinging enhances our already quite active sex play and, even after an evening of swinging, we go home and make love again while discussing the nights activities. Sometimes that's even better. 😜

Share this post


Link to post
findtime said:
We find that swinging enhances our already quite active sex play and, even after an evening of swinging, we go home and make love again while discussing the nights activities. Sometimes that's even better. 😜

 

A great way to describe it from findtime...it has been a total enhancement for us, not replacing anything or trying to fill any holes. If anything, it has made our lovemaking much deeper and more meaningful.

Share this post


Link to post

for us it has been great, sex was great to begin with but when we began to swing it sent our sex life over the top into unbelievable,it's an incredible turn on

Share this post


Link to post

We agree with sweetswing...

 

Our sex life was AMAZING before we started our new "hobby", and it is even more amazing now.

 

We DO have LOTS of sex without any additional playmates...at least once a day and often three or four times a day - each session lasting at least a couple of hours. I think that we may be a bit unusual in that regard...but it seems that the more sex that we have, the more we want.

 

Sex with additional playmates allows us to do things that we just can't do without them. Mrs. LasVegasCouple loves double penetrations...and multiple hands and mouths on her body...

Share this post


Link to post

With us our sex life was pretty good before we started swinging, but can easily say that our sex life with each other, has vastly improved since we started swinging, mainly because we have more trust in each other, and it's brought us closer, when we started swinging, we needed to do something to shake things up as far as our love life was concerned, and it worked, we also took things that we have done with others when swinging and applied it to sex with each other, and it has really improved our sex life alot.

 

So for us, it's had a very positive effect.

Share this post


Link to post

Well, I guess we differ from most posters... Our sex life was pretty poor prior to swinging. We had never had the strongest communication, we did the advance and retreat dance quite frequently and never resolved anything or truly communicated our feelings. Having the kids was an added stress and we became a "quickie" couple in bed. After 15 years together, I decided to try to change myself and become a better, less emotionally charged and bitter person. It worked. But growguy was still in his rut so to speak. Everything he said to me still had to be run through the "will this piss her off?" filter first. Swinging was something so totally new and off the wall that when I first brought it up, he could approach it without having to run it through the filter. Once we discovered we could do that and not have the end of the world occur, then we started talking honestly and openly about many other things that we had suppressed over the years in an attempt to avoid "emotions gone wild".

 

So while swinging has had a great positive effect on our sex life, I also have to give it a lot of credit for helping us to create a much happier and emotionally healthier life. Instead of a "co-worker" marriage, we have a true couple relationship now.

Share this post


Link to post

This is a simple one for us. Before swinging our sex life was great. Now it's even greater.

Share this post


Link to post

For me and S.O. it has always enhanced our sex life. Usually afterward we are very hot for each other days after. Thats hot. Thats double the pleasure for me. I love to watch her please and be pleased plus we have hot sex afterwards facelick

Share this post


Link to post
LasVegasCouple said:
We DO have LOTS of sex without any additional playmates...at least once a day and often three or four times a day - each session lasting at least a couple of hours. I think that we may be a bit unusual in that regard...but it seems that the more sex that we have, the more we want.

 

I have to Dito LasVegasCouple.

 

We were "abnormally active" before we started swinging (according to the polls I've seen) and since swinging, our frequency is almost freakish. Interestingly, as we have been involved in swinging longer, our interest in swinging has dipped a bit, but our frequency continues to be very high.

Share this post


Link to post

Maybe swinging has made us a little kinkier, and maybe a little better in bed together because we've discovered some things from others that really turned each other on and have added those things to our regular play. So we have all our tricks and all the ones we can borrow. :rolleyes:

 

I do think we've tried a few things we hadn't really explored before, and we definitely take allot more pictures now, and more erotic rather then just naughty ones. Mrs. WS goes out of the way now to set-up sexy shots with costuming and props. That has become allot of fun. I keep telling her she should make a business out of it and do erotic photography for a living... Maybe someday. I know she'd be happier doing it than what she's doing now. But, she's artsy that way. :)

 

Mr. WS

Share this post


Link to post

simply put, swinging has put us more on the same page so to speak. :) some things we are more open about facelick . some things we might try ::P: . and some things we just wont do :nono: .it has made it easier to know the diffrence.

Share this post


Link to post

Female here:

 

Quote

They say practice makes perfect, have you found that through swinging you and/or your partner have gotten better in bed?

 

Nope was pretty good and had a lot of practice before and this just gave me another outlet.

 

Quote

Would you say that your experiences as a swinger has made you more receptive or for lack of a better word, more "kinky"? or are these things that you were already doing before you got into swinging?

 

Nope not any more or any less receptive. Personally I didn't and don't have any interest in DP, gang bangs or dungeon play. It did make me more receptive to bi play.

Share this post


Link to post

We haven't even started swinging yet and the topic of swinging has made us better in bed. Because we are talking about sex more now and what we like and don't like...and because the communication has somehow made us a little less inhibited with each other we've had the best sex and most frequent sex of our marriage. We are in absolute heaven right now. I can't hardly imagine what will happen if/when we move to the next step.

Share this post


Link to post

I would definitely say we've gotten more kinky.....AND better in bed! Swinging has opened our eyes to so many new things. For instance, I now own more sex toys than I can comfortably carry....something I didn't think was acceptable in the past. We are both more vocal now, more open to try new things, and less judgemental of things that we would have closed the door on a few years ago. And my hubby has learned this new technique with his tongue that I thought was impossible.......tehee.....but that's another story.

Share this post


Link to post

I have been more open to new things, learned some new things. Have I got kinkier...eh..it was always there, swinging just made me more relaxed and accepting of it.

Share this post


Link to post
Quote
Originally Posted by newandexcited

...we are talking about sex more now and what we like and don't like...and because the communication has somehow made us a little less inhibited with each other we've had the best sex and most frequent sex of our marriage.

 Dito

 

Quote
Originally Posted by EvilMJ

Have I got kinkier...eh..it was always there, swinging just made me more relaxed and accepting of it.

 

That’s what scares me about Mrs. Beaverz, are we about to open the flood gates. :eek::D:claps:

Share this post


Link to post
That’s what scares me about Mrs. Beaverz, are we about to open the flood gates. :eek::D:claps:
All I can say is get out your surfboard and enjoy the ride. I know I have watching Mrs. WS open-up and explore her real self. :D

 

Mr. WS

Share this post


Link to post
Well I am a scientist and tend to quantify things...Before we discovered the lifestyle the total number of orgasms that my wife and I experianced in a typical month was four or five. Now after a bit of "soft swinging", that is a pretty fair number for one evening. Can you imagine what the number will be if we ever crossover to full swing? In mathematics that is called an exponential progression :D

 

Just what I needed to hear before a weekend without play! :sad:

 

Male D

Share this post


Link to post

Obviously sleeping with other people, I would say we have gotten a little more kinky! But as far as the overall sexual spectrum we are still pretty conservative compared to many. Although, if those fantasies came up we probably would have much fewer inhibitions in trying them.

 

As far as the quality of sex before or after the lifestyle! It can not be compared!

Share this post


Link to post

Sex is like any other learned activity. The more teachers and homework you have, the better you get.

 

In our very first swap with owners of a club that catered to introducing beginners to the lifestyle, we learned a position that we had never heard of. It became one of our favorites.

 

I think it is cruel in this country that so many folks have to be self-taught. Compared to being guided by more experienced practitioners, that is a lousy way to get good at most things, including sex.

 

Of course, interacting with other folks sexually showed us new things and exposed us to new ideas that would not have been possible otherwise.

Share this post


Link to post
Here's a simple little question for you...

 

They say practise makes perfect, have you found that through swinging you and/or your partner have gotten better in bed?

 

Nah. Our preferences are still the same, and we'd mastered each other's before entering the Lifestyle. But we have learned different (not necessarily good) ways people do certain things. We have improved with each other, no doubt, but it wasn't due to experiences with other couples--just that we're always trying new things.

 

It also seems that what a lot of swingers seem to enjoy sexually could be considered somewhat extreme (i.e.; DP, gangbangs, dungeon play etc...)

 

Define "a lot." I've found those to be two of the least popular things among couples with whom we've spoken.

 

Would you say that your experiances as a swinger has made you more receptive or for lack of a better word, more "kinky"? or are these things that you were already doing before you got into swinging?

 

Yes to the first. To the second: we were already doing most things we do now, but not all.

Share this post


Link to post

Before we started swinging, our sex life had already amped up on it's own--so the frequency hasn't changed much. But I would say that we've gotten a bit more kinky. Goodness knows, I'd never have forseen myself doing the group thing, or doing any FF play before. And I've tried other things with Mr. Sweet that I never tried before, either. So I'd have to say all around we have gotten better and kinkier at sex--a good thing, in my opinion!

 

=)

Share this post


Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Similar Content

    • By CandT33
      The very 1st time...
      Was it exciting, nerve racking, defeating?
       
      What was the conversation after the fact, did it effect you two negatively?
      Also did you discuss it before it happened?
       
      We are new and I am just unsure how it will effect me and/or her.
      She has been with 3 other guys since we started about 3/4 months ago.
      I have not had to deal with the above question yet, so looking for some insight from others.
    • By enhancer
      Okay the question is what is your number one sexual thought? The one act or thing that is sexual you find yourself thinking about the most? Yes I know everyone with a healthy sex drive thinks about a whole lot of sexual things through out the day, but is there one thing that seems to dominate those thoughts?
       
      Maybe it is giving or receiving oral, anal sex, tit sex, making out, some fetish, a position, Dom/sub thing, threesome, foursome or moresome, good old P in the V or whatever it might be for you!
       
      Also if you have a partner what is theirs if you know?
    • By Mr. Truelove
      Anyone have any tips for increasing sensitivity while using condoms? I've heard some people put a little extra lube on the inside of the condom, but I'd be a little worried it would fall off during intercourse then.
       
      We've been using lifestyles skyn and some other assortments of lifestyles condoms, and they all seemed pretty much the same to me. The people we tend to play with almost always have a latex allergy so non-latex is the way to go.
       
      Keeping hard isn't the problem... but getting "there" is! I usually get tired, call it a night, and plan on finishing with my wife after. But it's just a little downer not to be able to get there with a play partner.
       
      I've only came twice so far using condoms with play partners and it's quite frustrating. I'm sure a big part of it is mental and not just the condoms, but it sure could help to have a little help. lol!
    • By JustAskJulie
      Ok, just watched last week's episode of "How I met Your Mother" (The Naked Man) and after Robin had sex with a guy just because he was naked, Lilly was trying to come up with a list of 50 reasons to have sex (her husband had said the only good reason to have sex is because you are in love).
       
      So how many reasons to have sex can we come up with. I'll start with some of the ones I can remember from the show.....
       
      1. because he was naked sex
      2. Revenge sex
      3. make-up sex
      4. He thought I was making a move so I just went with sex
      5. break-up sex
      6. cuz I can't get to sleep sex
      7. Having sex to change the subject
       
      Copy the list from the previous post and add to it and see how long we can make it.
    • By Spoomonkey
      This may be the most important thread for men in recent recorded history. In fact, it may be so important that I could be the first primate winner of the Noble Prize. Chances are, if you don’t find value in this thread you hate pie, cute babies and all the things that make our country great*
       
      Here’s my theory about haunted houses. They really aren’t that scary. But, if you buy into them, they can be creepy as hell. Mrs Spoo and I love haunted houses because we know how to buy in, to really let ourselves be scared. And we always get our money’s worth!
       
      You see, being scared is what the haunted house guys are trying to do, but I can spoil that simply by not letting myself get into it. Being scared, therefore, is not so much their job as it is mine. They are doing their part – and when I do mine, it is an amazing experience!
       
      So – let’s apply that to sex.
       
      Men – the good ones anyway – obsess about their equipment and/or ability to please a playmate. I know for me, I read as much stuff as I can, I work out, I try to make myself fun for the person I am lucky enough to be with (which is usually Mrs Spoo – and I consider that the greatest luck of all!) So – I will start with the assumption (which, admittedly, often doesn’t fit, but for most of the men around here, is probably workable) that the men are doing their part.
       
      Where the theory comes in is with the women buying into the experience. I am quite sure that it is not me who gives a woman an orgasm as much as it is her who allows herself to have one. Women can certainly block the best efforts.
       
      There are two keys to this (as I see it):
       

      Chemistry, which is unpredictable and impossible to manipulate. It is either there, sometimes in the form of visible sparks, or it is not.
       
      Comfort, which is just a positive rapport that two people have that makes each able to relax and enjoy a situation.

       
      Both can increase the other, I think. Where there is chemistry there will be more comfort. Where there is comfort, chemistry can be found.
       
      “Buying in” to the experience does not mean pretending you are enjoying lame sex. Not at all! There will always be lame experiences – mostly because I can’t make ever male read this, the most important thread in the history of the written word. But, for those of us who do read it, the questions are these:

      What can a man do to help increase your comfort level?
       
      What helps you relax in a situation and “buy in”?

       
      That’s it! The answers to those questions – from women who are familiar with themselves and with what works, what doesn’t – are the Holy Grail that we men seek! It is not the dozens of penis enlargement spam we receive in our email every week. It is right here, in this thread. Your answers will raise this from the best board for swinging information on the net to the single greatest resource for mankind – a monolith of wisdom and evolutionary potential, ala 2001 – A Space Odyssey. Help us evolve, ladies. Help us help you
×
×
  • Create New...