Do you bend your rules to accomodate others?

[Brit_Pair]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

You set your rules so that YOU are comfortable and then you find people who are willing to work with your rules.

That's the key line as far as we're concerned. We're explicit about precisely what we want from the outset, and we seek people who are prepared to accept that without question. It almost certainly means that the process of finding suitable playmates is lengthened, but we accept that as an inevitable consequence. And this way, no one gets to wag their finger at us and accuse us of being unfair or intractable.

[DandS]

EBF, I think everyone has summed it up pretty well so far.

It just seems so basic....everyone knows what their own rules and preferences are and so you find someone with similar rules and preferences to play with so that everyone is having fun. If we are all not compatible, move on rather than have a negative experience.

I guess the problems come into play when and individual or a couple forgets to respect and appreciate the uniqueness and diversity of all the different types of people out there and starts thinking everyone should work within "their" rules. I would like to think that most of us are more open minded than that, hence the great discussions and viewpoints on so many different subjects here on the board.

You can't change people or force them to your values, lord knows I tried before I got divorced I had to move on and find one that I was compatible with.

Hope this made sense, I am on a conference call and half listening, half typing...