Pulling out, before coming, your thoughts?

[GotBatteries?]

Originally Posted by Sweet_Candy

Just curious about the pulling out issue. If you know the other male has a vas and the surgical scars to prove it does he have to pull out too?

I would still ask him to.

[JTcamp05]

You will be hard pressed to find a couple who will comply with every last detail spelled out by you...... Your having sex and well if you are going to have sex with others some things are a given. You can use condoms (correctly) and vurtualy eliminate risks that you speek of.

I think to find a couple who wish to have every detail spelled out down to when the male must remove his penis would be impossible. You would be far better off to relax and put more time and thought into finding a respectable couple that is low risk.

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by myspaceguru

Nobody's coming in anybody in this situation, not even with a condom. We will always use condoms with play partners. I won't come in my female play partner and I expect the play partner guy not to come in my partner. Even if you're wearing a condom you still pull it out.

Does that help clarify things?

I can definately agree with that as well.

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by Sweet_Candy

Just curious about the pulling out issue. If you know the other male has a vas and the surgical scars to prove it does he have to pull out too?

IMO, that depends on how well you know him. Now, if you are in a monogomous relationship with the couple, and you KNOW he doesn't have std's, (even though ya'll are right, condoms don't offer 100% protection), i would say no....as long as you also KNOW for a fact that he has had a vas......however, if you are at a party, or they are not exclusive, etc. I would say yes, use a condom. No measure other than abstinence is sure, but it does give a heck of a lot more protection than not using one.

[good times]

Originally Posted by myspaceguru

What does everyone here think about swinging with a couple that expects you to pull out?

We have done this a couple of times with couples that we do not use condoms with, but if a couple told us that they required condoms and required us to pull out we would just pass with a polite, no thanks. My opinion is that if I were worried enough about something to go to this extreme then I wouldn't be swinging.

If you decide to pursue the lifestyle though I do have on piece of advice to avoid an uncomfortable situation. Just be sure to be up front with people about your rules well before you get to the play room, especially if you have rules beyond the ordinary like these. One thing we have been having happen lately, especially with newbie's, is that we get to the play room thinking we having everything worked out and everyone is on the same page and then they spring a last minute rule on us that, had we known it before, would have caused us to decline playing with them. We still stop everything and go our seperate ways, but it is uncomfortable and sometimes embarrassing to get to that point and then have to decline.

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by good times

One thing we have been having happen lately, especially with newbie's, is that we get to the play room thinking we having everything worked out and everyone is on the same page and then they spring a last minute rule on us that, had we known it before, would have caused us to decline playing with them.

Okay, I'm living proof of this....this is a GREAT tid-bit of valuable advice. Thanks for putting this out there.

[prettylady]

I really love the feeling of a guy cuming in me. If it was an option between pullling out or condom. I would choose condom. I want the guy I am with to be close when he cums. I want to hold on tight, and feel his body tense up in my arms. That is hot for me. Not having him up on his knees jerking off on me.
That maybe fun for some, just not quite fun for me.
Your friend,
Prettylady

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by prettylady

I really love the feeling of a guy cuming in me. If it was an option between pullling out or condom. I would choose condom. I want the guy I am with to be close when he cums. I want to hold on tight, and feel his body tense up in my arms. That is hot for me. Not having him up on his knees jerking off on me.

Enough of this kind of talk, I may have to take Jay in the other room if I keep reading this sort of post lol.
He appreciates your comment.

[Greg & Sheryl]

Originally Posted by good times

One thing we have been having happen lately, especially with newbie's, is that we get to the play room thinking we having everything worked out and everyone is on the same page and then they spring a last minute rule on us that, had we known it before, would have caused us to decline playing with them.

That's one reason why we generally avoid playing with newbies altogether. Some unresolved issue always seems to manifest itself.

To address the original issue of this thread, we wouldn't have a problem with pulling out even if we were using condoms with another couple. This might sound unusual to the veterans of the Swingers Board who know us as a bareback couple, but we understand that everyone has a different comfort level regarding semen, so we try to respect that. Besides, they are so many other fun places to cum.

[myspaceguru]

Thanks for that post. It makes us a bit more comfortable knowing what people views are on these topics. Just so everyone knows we have decided due to this posts to make it one of the first things we would discuss with another group. " Hi my name is .... Just so you know.... this post... What do you feel about that?" Ok lets go, or lets not. I'm sure there will be people that will try talking us out of it. That's why we still have to read the post about politetly saying no thanks.

Anyways thanks for the feedback.

[bimickie26]

sounds like you have some issues that need addressing before entering this lifestyle, saying this to me would invoke a "ok he's a wierdo" type response.

the coming in the condom comment pretty much put it across, the male part of the couple you swing with, whats he supposed to do, be on the verge, wip it out, pull off the condom, can you wife finish the job with her hands or is this taboo, so he has to do it himself and rules swing both ways so you too, its just all very wierd.

Stick to soft swap I don't think you are comfortable for full swap right now and you are both very young why not enjoy each other???

[myspaceguru]

Originally Posted by bimickie26

Stick to soft swap I don't think you are comfortable for full swap right now and you are both very young why not enjoy each other???

Weirdo ok from time to time.. Aren't we all a bit weird though? Your right we are not comfortable with a full swap right now. Who really knows when the time is right though? If you've actually read over this whole post you would have read about the part where we mention that she wouldn't just leave the guy hanging in this situation to finish the deed himself. She is not that cruel. Tell us when the right age to start would be. This is something that we both want to do and we aren't just jumping into things. Our thinking is that we will take it slow and if nothing happens with any other couples, that's fine with us. The boundaries will be set before going to the bedroom so that nobody is unclear of the others expectations.

We are very mature in our life and both do very well financially even though we are still in college. As far as enjoying each other, we do very much! We asked ourselves these questions. What's wrong with swinging, what would be fun about it, what scares us about it, what makes us comfortable with it, what could the consequences be, is our relationship stable enough to do this, who would we like to meet, what fun events could we attend, am I really that sexy, do I want another man to come in me even with a condom, do we want to use condoms, what if our family finds out, what if I get another women pregnant, what if nobody wants to swing with us, what if we post something and people bash us, are we to young, are we any good at sex, will the other people be good at sex? This list goes on. Before this board was here and all this information about this lifestyle was made easily available, perhaps we wouldn't have considered it. Now that we have a little basic training we want to try our skills in the field. Explore with others, go out on double dates, find out what they do and don't do to each as a couple. I'm not bragging or boasting but I'm fairly attractive and she is too. We are both in excellent shape and have very structured families. One day we would like to start a family of our own, but not right now.

Who's to say that there is an age to begin. I'm definintly not a person to judge that. Maturity level is very important. Do we feel that we are mature enough to enter this kind of lifestyle? Well I guess we don't know because we haven't done anything with anyone else yet. Can we take steps to being more mature about the steps we take in the future? Well if so, I think this board is an excellent place to start, followed by a few Club H parties, some nude beaches and perhaps maybe just some light swaping. Who's to say that it can't start out as a swap and finish as a light swap, or there are even posts where people don't allow penetration. Does that make them weirdos? It just seems to us that anyone can start into this lifestyle at any level they feel comfortable with. Our level is that of not soft swapping but swapping with pulling out. Let's call it in the middle.

Here is a small list mf swapping:

1. Playing around, kissing. 2 .hand jobs, blow jobs, eating out, banging 3.Soft swapping "two couples in the same room" 4. Kind of soft swapping with condoms and coming outside of her in the condom or if your quick enough to take it off, maybe on her chest 5. Swapping and coming inside the condom inside her 6. No condom coming outside, 7. No condoms coming inside.

Some people like anal and some people like bondage anal and two guys to come in them at the same time. If we were into this we would accomodate them just like some people here at the board have. We would in no way judge them for their fetishes or beliefs. Some women are bi sexual, some bi curious, that's fine with us if she has been with other women, there are certain things my fiance might do with them is she was attractive. Here again we would never judge anybody for their rules. We do not believe people are weirdos because they have rules and limitations that are different from ours.

Maybe we'll call these stages. We feel comfortable playing at stage 3.

Anybody care to add to this list feel free. This list could be huge.

Her getting him off is not taboo, we have spoken about this here in this post and in others.

[bimickie26]

i guess i just dont get it, cuming in a condom while inside her is not okay but fucking her in the first place is, it makes no sense to me at all but i am a woman and cannot begin to fathom what makes guys tick. One thing i can tell you is it probably makes no difference to your girlfriend its you that has the issue...

[myspaceguru]

Originally Posted by bimickie26

i guess i just dont get it, cuming in a condom while inside her is not okay but fucking her in the first place is, it makes no sense to me at all but i am a woman and cannot begin to fathom what makes guys tick. One thing i can tell you is it probably makes no difference to your girlfriend its you that has the issue...

This was her rule if we swing, and if it's hers then it's mine. She's not comfortable with it and I back her up. If this is her comfort level, I'm fine with that. If she wanted the opposite I do not feel as though I own her, she can make those decisions herself. I'm not the big dominant controlling male. Our relationship is a 50/50 split. This applies around the house and in the bedroom. Lots of people have lots of issues, if this is our biggest one and that's a problem, for some people, we respect their opinions. Although we may not agree with them on some issues, we are careful not to judge them. Anyways we respect your opinion, but do not agree with it.

[LOL_OMG]

Here's a suggestion.

Use a contraceptive foam along with a condom. The foam does nothing STD wise but it is added protection against pregnancy, and also works as a lubricant. VCF makes a relatively inexpensive one.

Mr. Lol