Couples with strict rules - are they setting themselves up for failure?

JTcamp05 · 05-24-2006, 07:28 AM

After posting on another topic I was wondering how many other couples have run into situations where they have been confronted with unusual "rules". Ex.... no kissing, no oral, ect.. ect... Are these couples setting themselves up to fail? or are they too insecure to last as swingers?

DGrey · 05-24-2006, 08:49 AM

I think every couple needs a set of rules that makes them feel comfortable. We typically don't like to play with other couples that won't kiss because we both love to kiss and for us, it would be an incomplete evening.

That's not to say that they are setting themselves up to fail though because I'm sure there are lots of couples that share their views.

E

**fun4Ds** · 05-24-2006, 01:45 PM

we went into it with alot of rules. and found many of them changed or were kinda droped as far as no kissing and such. we found ya should always respect anyones and everyones rules.

cant say we ever came across any unusual rules.

TeamSoBe · 05-24-2006, 01:50 PM

Yeah you start out with a thick rule book and then over time each rule seems less and less important. After a while you're more secure about everything and you don't need all of the rules any more.

2jersey · 05-24-2006, 02:06 PM

We have a few rules, which we spell out in our online profile - the most prominent of which is that we are not currently in full swap mode.

Our full swap limitation is probably not unusual for couples in our situation - long term momogamous relationship punctuated by a relatively meager amount of swinging experience. We may be singing a different tune down the road a bit...

In fact, we currently have two exceptions to our full swap rule. 1) Any couple which visits us from more than 1,000 miles away, and 2) Any couple who can guess our favorite baseball team...

Tybee Swing · 05-24-2006, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JTcamp05

After posting on another topic I was wondering how many other couples have run into situations where they have been confronted with unusual "rules". Ex.... no kissing, no oral, ect.. ect...

We haven't played with these couples with very strict rules, because they aren't a match for us. We have seen them in profiles, though. We just don't contact them. We respect people's boundaries, whatever they may be - and accept that they're just not for us. They'll probably find somebody else that will be more in line with what they want, though.

AZ Dreaming · 05-24-2006, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2jersey

We have a few rules, which we spell out in our online profile - the most prominent of which is that we are not currently in full swap mode.

Our full swap limitation is probably not unusual for couples in our situation - long term momogamous relationship punctuated by a relatively meager amount of swinging experience. We may be singing a different tune down the road a bit...

In fact, we currently have two exceptions to our full swap rule. 1) Any couple which visits us from more than 1,000 miles away, and 2) Any couple who can guess our favorite baseball team...

Hmmm could it be the New York Yankees ?

How many times can we guess?

2jersey · 05-24-2006, 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AZ Dreaming

Hmmm could it be the New York Yankees ?

How many times can we guess?

Bingo!

AZ Dreaming · 05-24-2006, 06:24 PM

WOOHOO!! What do I win?

2jersey · 05-24-2006, 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AZ Dreaming

WOOHOO!! What do I win?

Well - we referred to the glossary in the swinging handbook - and shortly after 'Bingo' comes 'Bango' (swingers are noncomformists) ... and the following entry is 'Breakfast'. So, give us your flight number (we'll pick you up at the airport) and tell us what would you like us to cook you for breakfast (and we'll have the proper ingredients on hand).

AZ Dreaming · 05-24-2006, 07:22 PM

Nice!! Im a fruit and croissants kind of girl....

Especially after a night of fun!

neoparadigm · 05-24-2006, 07:28 PM

Rules are made out of fear, and fear diminishes because of it's metaphisical non reality so therefore diminish the rules..

"Do whast thou will shall be the whole of the law.."
Jimmy Page

Chandler · 05-24-2006, 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TeamSoBe

Yeah you start out with a thick rule book and then over time each rule seems less and less important. After a while you're more secure about everything and you don't need all of the rules any more.

I would agree with this. The first timers are always going to have a list of boundries, but after the comfort level increases, those rules/boundries come down. Respect their wishes, or find someone else that fits closer to your speed.

Chicup · 05-24-2006, 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2jersey

We have a few rules, which we spell out in our online profile - the most prominent of which is that we are not currently in full swap mode.

As long as the Yankee's fans still suck, I'd be interested

2jersey · 05-24-2006, 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by neoparadigm

Rules are made out of fear, and fear diminishes because of it's metaphisical non reality so therefore diminish the rules..

"Do whast thou will shall be the whole of the law.."
Jimmy Page

neo-moron, I might want to invite you to meet me in person, but you are not worth the (MINOR) effort that would be involved. - Mister 2J

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05-24-2006, 07:28 AM	#1 (permalink)
JTcamp05 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 285 Location: Ohio Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:JtCamp05	Couples with strict rules - are they setting themselves up for failure? After posting on another topic I was wondering how many other couples have run into situations where they have been confronted with unusual "rules". Ex.... no kissing, no oral, ect.. ect... Are these couples setting themselves up to fail? or are they too insecure to last as swingers?

05-24-2006, 08:49 AM	#2 (permalink)
DGrey Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 386 Location: Exit 13A Thank you very much! Status: Married Female Swing Lifestyle Name:DGrey	Re: Rules??? I think every couple needs a set of rules that makes them feel comfortable. We typically don't like to play with other couples that won't kiss because we both love to kiss and for us, it would be an incomplete evening. That's not to say that they are setting themselves up to fail though because I'm sure there are lots of couples that share their views. E
	__________________ Erika & Dino i like your body...i lke what it does, i like its hows...i like kissing this and that of you. -- e.e. cummings

05-24-2006, 01:45 PM	#3 (permalink)
fun4Ds Julie's Helper Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 6,476 Location: Behind door #2 Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:mrmrsfun	Re: Rules??? we went into it with alot of rules. and found many of them changed or were kinda droped as far as no kissing and such. we found ya should always respect anyones and everyones rules. cant say we ever came across any unusual rules.
	Last edited by fun4Ds; 05-24-2006 at 01:49 PM.

05-24-2006, 01:50 PM	#4 (permalink)
TeamSoBe Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 507 Location: South Beach, Florida Status: M. Half of Couple	Re: Rules??? Yeah you start out with a thick rule book and then over time each rule seems less and less important. After a while you're more secure about everything and you don't need all of the rules any more.
	__________________ i love everybody. you're next.

05-24-2006, 02:06 PM	#5 (permalink)
2jersey Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 489 Location: ~~~ Status: Couple	Re: Rules??? We have a few rules, which we spell out in our online profile - the most prominent of which is that we are not currently in full swap mode. Our full swap limitation is probably not unusual for couples in our situation - long term momogamous relationship punctuated by a relatively meager amount of swinging experience. We may be singing a different tune down the road a bit... In fact, we currently have two exceptions to our full swap rule. 1) Any couple which visits us from more than 1,000 miles away, and 2) Any couple who can guess our favorite baseball team...

05-24-2006, 06:24 PM	#9 (permalink)
AZ Dreaming Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 142 Location: Gilbert, Arizona Status: Couple	Re: Rules??? WOOHOO!! What do I win?
	__________________ I aim to misbehave.

05-24-2006, 07:22 PM	#11 (permalink)
AZ Dreaming Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 142 Location: Gilbert, Arizona Status: Couple	Re: Rules??? Nice!! Im a fruit and croissants kind of girl.... Especially after a night of fun!
	__________________ I aim to misbehave.

05-24-2006, 07:28 PM	#12 (permalink)
neoparadigm Has Left the Building Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 99 Location: San Francisco/Las Vegas Status: single	Re: Rules??? Rules are made out of fear, and fear diminishes because of it's metaphisical non reality so therefore diminish the rules.. "Do whast thou will shall be the whole of the law.." Jimmy Page

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