What acts will you refuse to do under any circumstances

[EternallySingle]

A few minutes ago a couple on SLS asked if I would consider joining them. Cool , right? Well, the couple asked me to do the one thing I just cannot wrap my libido around. They wanted me to be their (both of them) master. I can't do it. I know. I did it before and over six months I, at 23, started to develop an erection problem. At the end, I actually broke down and cried because I couldn't bring myself to order one of my two women to feed me at a SCA-type event. Even though the sixty+ people who were there suddenly dropped their roles and tried to comfort me, I knew that was one sexual activity I would never be able to do. Even after several dozen free counselling sessions (yes, one of the mistresses was also a clinical psychiatrist), I knew I could never handle THAT much responsibility for someone else's sexual pleasure. The amount of trust given to me was way too much for me to handle.

So, does anyone have an activity that totally turns them off when someone suggests it? I don't just mean something they don't like but something that brings up bad memories and kills their desire to even think about sex until they can calm down?

[intuition897]

Originally Posted by EternallySingle

A few minutes ago a couple on SLS asked if I would consider joining them. Cool , right? Well, the couple asked me to do the one thing I just cannot wrap my libido around. They wanted me to be their (both of them) master. I can't do it. I know. I did it before and over six months I, at 23, started to develop an erection problem. At the end, I actually broke down and cried because I couldn't bring myself to order one of my two women to feed me at a SCA-type event. Even though the sixty+ people who were there suddenly dropped their roles and tried to comfort me, I knew that was one sexual activity I would never be able to do. Even after several dozen free counselling sessions (yes, one of the mistresses was also a clinical psychiatrist), I knew I could never handle THAT much responsibility for someone else's sexual pleasure. The amount of trust given to me was way too much for me to handle.

So, does anyone have an activity that totally turns them off when someone suggests it? I don't just mean something they don't like but something that brings up bad memories and kills their desire to even think about sex until they can calm down?

What an awful experience for you, ES! I haven't done much reading into BDSM type activities or D/s role-playing, but I do know that there's more to it than black leather, whips and chains. I have tried taking on the role of 'Top', and it places a person at what feels like a dizzying height. It feels sort of like standing on tip-toe on the top of a swaying telephone pole. There's no one to look to for suggestions or answers. It's all you baby! I found it extremely uncomfortable. I think many - if not most - people would. Some people like the idea of bossing someone around, using the position of power inappropriately. I think really good Dom(me)s are few and far between, but that there are many people who want the sense of being nurtured and controlled and cared for in much the same way they were as a child. There is comfort in that, I think. It all comes down to the fact that there just ain't as much love in the world as there should be!

So what activity is totally off limits for me? Hmmm. I can't abide being called a slut, a whore, a bitch, or some other derogatory term. In fantasy, the idea of being 'used' appeals to me, but it is NOT something I would ever want to make a reality. Although I have fantasies that involve bondage, Mr. and I have tried making them a reality and I FREAKED O U T ! He wondered if I had been sexually abused as a child or something (?!?!) because I reacted so strongly against it. I have no memory of anything remotely like abuse as a child or any other time in my life, so I have no idea where this sudden panic came from. It just hit out of the blue!

Another time we got playing kind of rough. For a bit of background, Mr.'s previous experience includes some D/s play some years ago that he enjoyed, so although we do not pursue it at all as swingers, he is not unfamiliar with the idea of being slapped in the face. We experienced a steep learning curve that evening when he realized that I am NOT used to being slapped in the face. He didn't slap me that hard - certainly not enough to leave a mark!! - but hard enough that it shocked me. He meant absolutely nothing by it, and did it only in play. He thought that perhaps I would find it stimulating as he enjoys rough play like this himself. Sorry if this is shocking anyone, but we were in an experimental mood, and this was the particular path we were following at that moment. Anyway, I tried so hard not to feel hurt by it, but I did. You can spank my ass until it's red, you can pinch my nipple 'til I cry uncle, but I absolutely draw the line at slapping my face. No matter how hard I might try, I just can't get my head around it. I can't help but take it personally. I simply asked him not to do it again. I tried to reassure him that it was just some hangup I had, and that I was fine. I understood completely that he meant nothing by it. But he said he saw the hurt look in my eyes when I asked him not to do it again. In 11 years I have seen this man cry twice. This was one of those times.

[Vantabulous]

Rough play would absolutely be out of the question. God and Satan will partner-up in a golf Scramble before I could ever bring myself to lay a hand to my wife or, any other woman for that matter. Just not possible.

"Name-calling"? See above.

D/s doesn't hold much interest for either of us, so I don't know if it counts here. Probably not much more for us than fantasy material...and meager, at best.

Originally Posted by intuition897

But he said he saw the hurt look in my eyes when I asked him not to do it again. In 11 years I have seen this man cry twice. This was one of those times.

I can only imagine...and it hurts me to even think about it. Don't lose that guy...

Van

[CuriousInOregon]

I am not into BDSM at all Even though I do like a good swatt on the Rump from time to time if the timing is just right. Other than the BDSM I refuse Necro, Beastiality, and Children Im not sure what that one is called. I think I would be up for just about anything else at least once with my loving and Trusting partner

[Vantabulous]

Curious,

Pedophilia...

Van

[CuriousInOregon]

Originally Posted by Vantabulous

Curious,

Pedophilia...

Van

Thank you and pedophilia is the other I wont do

[ALilOEverything]

Anything illegal is definitely out of the question, I would have to pass on any golden showers or things on that line. Pain, anything that gives more than a little pinch I won't give and won't receive. Anything involving humiliation is totally out of the question as well.

I can totally understand your issues you had with BDSM, I've dabbled in it some and I find myself usually disliking it. Generally I've played the dominant role but felt as if the sub is actually topping from the bottom and felt more manipulated than anyone doing anything for my pleasure. I tried the sub role once and I enjoyed some of the bondage but I don't take direction very well. Any D/s role playing, especially when it includes bondage, should only be played with trusting individuals and a good understanding of limits. No one should ever be expected to do something that doesn't feel good to them, whether is the dom or the sub.

[intuition897]

Originally Posted by Vantabulous

Rough play would absolutely be out of the question. God and Satan will partner-up in a golf Scramble before I could ever bring myself to lay a hand to my wife or, any other woman for that matter. Just not possible.

"Name-calling"? See above.

D/s doesn't hold much interest for either of us, so I don't know if it counts here. Probably not much more for us than fantasy material...and meager, at best.

I sure didn't want my post to come off sounding like I was abused in some way. One thing Mr. would NEVER do is call me names. He has immense respect for women, and takes no pleasure in degrading them. Besides, he knows he'd be risking some tender body parts if he did!

As far as the face-slapping incident goes, it was a matter of misunderstanding. A simple and - really - harmless mistake. For him, activity like this is not negative or hurtful if it is done with mutual enthusiasm and between two loving, trusting partners. But it's much the same as how some people prefer golf to football; what one person considers a healthy level of physical contact may not be shared by the other. Although I tried to embrace this concept, it is just one area that I cannot tread. Perhaps someday in the future, but I just don't feel ready to take on that kind of thing at this point in my life. When he realized with sudden clarity that I don't share the same outlook on physical expression,
he was devastated that he had 'hurt me'. The pain was purely in my own mind; it wasn't the actual act that hurt me, just the idea of it. I tried to explain to him that it was simply a misunderstanding, no harm done. I knew why he did it, but regardless, I couldn't stop my knee-jerk reaction. (Stupid girls...they cry all the time :rollseyes ) He can be unbelievably hard on himself sometimes. I just wish I was better at controlling myself. When I feel emotional stress - good or bad - I cry. Some people get mad/confrontational, others laugh nervously, others start to talk incessantly...I cry. Lucky me. Makes me feel like an idiot is what it does.

Originally Posted by Vantabulous

I can only imagine...and it hurts me to even think about it. Don't lose that guy...

Van

Not if I have anything to do with it. One of the agreements that we have is that we are each here by choice. I will not bind him to me in any way, but I've told him so many times that the only way he's going to get rid of me is if he tells me that he doesn't want to be with me anymore. And even that won't be made easy for him. I've never met anyone like him, and I just don't have the words to describe how deeply in love with him I am.

[intuition897]

Oh, BTW Lilo, here's an article that you might like to read. I found it rather enlightening.

[RNDNV]

Good thread ES!

We have never run into anyone who said they are into this, but we have heard some outrageous stories about it from others, so we would like to hear from anyone on the board who is into this or knows someone who is, and would you please attempt to explain it to us, because frankly, WE DON'T GET IT, NOR DO WE WANT TO EXPERIENCE IT!

Potty games?

What the hell is that all about, and why on Earth would anyone think this is sexually exciting in any way, shape or form??????

[starlinn]

I think, besides the usual ones (skat, children, animals, showers, etc...) I do not like being called names. I am not a slut, whore, cunt, and all those other words. If you want to tell me how much you enjoy fucking me, letting me know what I can do to make it better for you, that would be great, but dont end it with "you fucking whore."

[two4youinswva]

Originally Posted by EternallySingle

So, does anyone have an activity that totally turns them off when someone suggests it? I don't just mean something they don't like but something that brings up bad memories and kills their desire to even think about sex until they can calm down?

I can't think of anything bad enough to kill my desire to that extent (Other than the usual "taboos").

I would really struggle with the D/S lifestyle as well. I don't think I'd be very good at either role.

[lovedoctor]

I think, besides the stuff that we've already mentioned above that is illegal and outside the norm for those that are culturally enlightend, I think I could not in any remote way, be interested in tossing anyone's salad. Nope. Ain't happening. Give me a good ole latex glove and I can tell you how many ounces that prostate is, but the tongue's not waggin' up the poop shoot.

[lovedoctor]

PS - to Eternally Single:

I just wanted to give you the biggest hug when I read how that experience affected you!

[MassPleaser]

We have never run into anyone who said they are into this, but we have heard some outrageous stories about it from others, so we would like to hear from anyone on the board who is into this or knows someone who is, and would you please attempt to explain it to us, because frankly, WE DON'T GET IT, NOR DO WE WANT TO EXPERIENCE IT!

Potty games?


My wife is into the golden showers fetish. I tried it once, but being on the receiving end isn't for me, but she enjoys it once in awhile. She says she get's really horny when I pee on her chest or ass, never the face. To each his/her own I say.