Official Definition of Swinging

[Brynjolfur]

What is the official definition of "swinging" as defined by its participants? I'm curious now.

Yesterday, I posted on this site saying I'm looking for a sexual friendship--a non-exclusive but ongoing arrangement where I fool around and cuddle with a woman. The moderators here felt this wasn't "swinging" though and moved it to a different section.Why does this not qualify?

What sets "official swinging" apart from the type of relationship I just described? Swinging, by definition, is non-exclusive. Also, why not have repeat encounters with someone you enjoy and who enjoys you? What am I missing here?


BRYNJOLFUR

[yawanna]

I found this previous thread for you:

What makes a swinger?

[Brynjolfur]

Yawanna-

Thanks for retrieving that thread.

So, for swinging purists, "swinging" always involves a committed couple and others. Two unattached people who engage in sexual activity can't be "swingers" in the true sense. Interesting.


-BRYNJOLFUR

[SluttyWife]

Swinging is simply "couples exploration." Shared erotic experiences with other people or in some cases shared knowledge of them.

Slutty Wife

[yawanna]

Two unattached people who engage in sexual activity can't be "swingers" in the true sense. Interesting.

I would call that 'dating' or 'seeing each other' as the reasons for the getting together is other than being a part of couple in a longterm committed relationship who engage in sexual activities with others while maintaining and preserving their primary relationship that is not based mostly or entirely on sexual activities with others.

[Spoomonkey]

Well - I think it isn't an issue of being "purists"... And it also isn't a matter of labeling...

Getting into semantic debates can often be a little tedious and unproductive. Let's face it - I can call a caterpillar that is covered with mustard a bowling ball - but the name doesn't change what it is.

If you are looking for a woman to have a non-committed sex thing with - then that is dating. Sure it is a shade of dating more on the end of "friends with benefits" than "looking to marry" but it is dating, nonetheless.

Swinging involves couples. Committed? Non-committed? That's a whole other shade of grey, but it would certainly have to be a couple who is in kahoots about the whole "sex with others" deal.

The thing to know about a swinging message board is, while there are a few single females on here, they are precious and rare. Mostly, you will find married couples and single men. So - it is probably a piss-poor place to find a female for cuddling.

If it were up to me, I'd say "go ahead... post and look." But I doubt you'll find much. Single women looking for "friends with benefits" are more likely on yahoo personals than roaming a swinger board.

All apologies to Austin Powers, but what you're describing ain't swinging... Yeah, baby...

Spoomonkey

[Vjklander]

We call it 'sharing pleasures', no matter how many or how related.
J

[JustAskJulie]

For the purpose of this site, I have always considered to SWINGING to require a COUPLE sharing their sexuality with others, whether it be with other couples or singles....

Two singles together is dating, not swinging.

[yawanna]

Does anyone else refer to swinging as 'recreational sex' ?

And I mean swinging as in a committed couple exploring extra curricular activities and events that are sexual in nature.

And then again, some others may have their own versions of what constitutes 'swinging'.

To each their own....I'm just curious about the label of recreational sex (or sport fucking as it has been referred to in some CA and Toronto swinger circles) and when it has been applied.

[Alura]

We call swinging, "Intermarital Sex," meaning sex occuring among couples. But that's just us.

Alura

[jcbicouple]

We do consider swinging to be recreational sex.
We would have to define Swinging as recreational sex with others while in a committed relationship, with full consent from your partner.
IMHO
If you were in a committed relationship and having sex without consent it would be cheating.
If you are single and having recreational sex (even if it's with a couple or at a swing club) it would just be recreational sex. You don't need permission from a spouse or to discuss, agree, or care what anyone else thinks or how they feel about what you are going to do. You are the only person that you need to be concerned about pleasing.
Those in a committed relationship (swingers, although we don't really like that name.....it does best suit what we do) need to concern themselves with someone elses feelings and wishes, and they need to be able to put those before their own.

[good times]

Dito

What jcbicouple said.

[Brynjolfur]

Originally posted by Spoomonkey
...Swinging involves couples....

The thing to know about a swinging message board is, while there are a few single females on here, they are precious and rare. Mostly, you will find married couples and single men. So - it is probably a piss-poor place to find a female for cuddling.

... I doubt you'll find much. Single women looking for "friends with benefits" are more likely on yahoo personals than roaming a swinger board.

All apologies to Austin Powers, but what you're describing ain't swinging... Yeah, baby... [/B]

Spoonmonkey-

You are totally right about my chances here. I have seen that heterosexual guys with relatively middle-of- the-road desires are better off with regular internet dating sites. I have browsed a few alt. sites and the male-female ratio is always horrendous for guys.

I do want to watch a real couple have real sex, so this is the right place for that, but otherwise, for my physical satisfaction, I should look elsewhere.

To the rest of you-

Thank you very much for your courteous responses. This message strand and others here have provided me with much fascinating information.


-Brynjolfur