What is Your Personal Definition of Swinging

[MikeFr]

We tend to agree with Spoo's comment about singles. It's not that they aren't welcome, it's just that they are limited in what they can "bring to the table".

The element of trust necessary for this lifestyle is a requirement for couples, but a single just kinda pops in. Sometimes it seems to us that for them, this isn't so much swinging as fucking without having to buy dinner.

M & F

[LaStrata]

I definately think that it is couples looking for other couples and couples engaging in groups - going to clubs that support the whole lifestyle - its not just getting laid by lots of people. When I swung single, I would either go out with another single male who was partnerless at the time, or I would go out with a couple - but I didn't consider it swinging unless we went out as a threesome to clubs - so in this way, we three brought a lot to the table for another couple to enjoy.

[WesternSwing]

I think swinging is really between couples, married or not. Singles can join in, but they aren't bringing anything to the situation besides themselves. To me swinging implies an exchange. When a couple plays with a single they are swinging, the single is having non-commital sex in a threesome or moresome situation.

Just my thoughts.

Mr. WS

[Greg & Sheryl]

Julie's definition works for us. A couple must be involved in the equation and there must by consent among that couple to share sex with others.

[confunktion]

I'm on board with Mr. Spoo. Well put, my good man!

[wildwife1010]

Julies defination seems to be one of the best that we have heard.

[HotCoupleGnS]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

I do not consider most singles to be swingers. That is not to say that we do not accept them, they simply aren't "swapping" anything.

The exception - and one we have seen in a few singles here - is a commitment to the lifestyle as it applies to couples. Some singles are looking for sex with anyone who is available - female, couple, whatever... These I would consider opportunists... Others - while having sex lives outside of their lifestyle involvement - are interested in the "couple" aspect of the lifestyle itself. They have a life, so they aren't simply looking for an "easy lay". Rather, they are into the lifestyle for the sake of what the lifestyle is about.

Swinging, in my mind, is at it's core about couples exploring sexuality together - a sexuality that involves others.

Spoomonkey

Dito I totally agree with Spoo!

[EUcpl]

In principle we agree with Julies defination. In principle! But if two couples being best friends since years have their monthly date for wife-swapping (why not husband-swapping?) it is not swinging. It is a favorite food because - so our experience - you play games you will never play with strangers or with people you don't know very deep (for instance dp, anal, snowballs etc). Swinging - our defination as Julie and you all wanted to know - involves one couple openly sharing each other sexuality with other couples (not people). Of course all people (not only the partners) must have full knowledge of what is going on and they must be in agreement. That is clear. This is the reason why we visit only partys or swing clubs "for couples only" because we can be sure that all guests want the same like we. We agree that both partners do not have to be in the same room. But before the stallions play deep in the mares we like it to watch each other dancing,kissing and touching other people. It is a game. For our opinion singles cannot be swingers (sorry Julie). Before we married Werner has visited as well as me swinger partys. But indeed it was a hunting to have best sex with good looking men or women. You have had your orgasm and it was fine. But no horny conversation afterwards because you started the hunt again. Swinging is for us a lecherous game with the aim to have fun with couples thinking like we. So we like it after the intercourses to tell tales out of school with our sexpartners at the bar or in the jacuzzi. Some of you - we are sure - doing the same. Kissing and touching and inviting others to join us in the jacuzzi and to start the next intercourse.

Maggie

A good fuck is such a wonderful adventure why should we not share it from time to time with other people thinking like we?

[VegasLee]

Today on Opera! (never thought I would say that)

I heard what I considered one of the best definitions of Swinging. Simple and to the point.

"Recreational sex between consenting adults".

No referance to couples, singles anything. Just the way it used to be back in the "ole days."

[robnbarb]

Julie basicly hit the nail on the head for us. Consent I believe is the most important factor. Recreational sex between consenting adults is good, but it is too vauge and invokes ideas of couples who are just getting to know each other and suddenly find they are not compatable emotionally. Just my thought.

[mf69_98]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Everyone has a different definition. For some it's just openly consensual non-committal sex between adults. For others singles can't be swingers, for some it must be group sex not partner swapping.

So what is YOUR definition of swinging?

------------------------------------------


For me (and what I apply on this board as well) swinging involves at least one couple openly sharing each other sexually with other people, whether it be a single or another couple or a group of people. Both partners must have full knowledge of what is going on and both partners must be in agreement, giving their permission for what is going on. Both partners do not have to be in the same room, or even at the same location. I do believe that some singles can be/are swingers but most that participate in swinging activites are not.

I have to totally agree with you - nothing behind the other's back & everything is agreed upon.

[DBL D]

Consensual recreational sex with another one or more married or long-time committed couples that allow for every combination within that setting.

Generally non-poly.

Of course, my mind is open enough to allow for more variation than that.

No Cheating.

Male D

[Candy&Cane]

For us swinging means having sex with another couple, as a couple. We also only go to clubs were only couples are allowed. Swinging is something you do together. If it is a single, it doesn't feel like swap.

Bi-seksual experencies also dont mean swinging to us (-otherwise we wouldnt be calling ourselves newbies here, for as far Candy is concerned )

In an open relationship we could let eichother free (allthough both of us would have 'veto'), but, as soon as it's not togheter, it isn't swinging any more..

One problem in this theory; how would we call it if we went seperatly, but the others are a couple? :rollseyes -just a personal thought..

So, we see everything seperate; couple vs couple is swinging, Candy vs girlfriend is bi-seksual, Candy vs lover and Cane vs lover is open-relationship.

"open-relationship" means swinging can be involved, Swinging doesnt mean its an open relationship.. to us..

Hope we make any sense here

[Alura]

Wow! What a great bunch of posts!

We agree with Julie, Spoo, Maggie, and Candy&Cane! All make very valid points. So does Vegal Lee, but we, too, find his definition too vague.

For Alura, we don't consider ourselves "swingers," although we must of necessity accept the term because everybody else uses it. We consider ourselves to be a couple who engage in "inter-marital sexual relations."

If we were to decide to play with a single person, it would not be a part of our usual activities and would certainly not be "sexual relations between marriages."

Alura

[H69]

Don't want to sound completely thick, but what is Swinging?
I understand the general rules, but where does swinging begin and wife swapping end, for example. Has it got to be organised and predetermined, or is it still swinging if an ordinary party develops into an orgy?
It might be interesting to see if everyone has the same definitions.

H