What is Your Personal Definition of Swinging

dave_susie2001 · 11-10-2002, 07:25 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Quin:

Wow, I'll have to let the 40 some couples within my swinging circle that I've been involved with for years (some going on 22 years) that I'm not a swinger, I'm just a single female looking for some sex with a couple<hr /></blockquote>“Now I don’t want to get off on a rant here,” but swinging is sooooo very subjective. I think that’s why Julie started this thread in the first place, to see how each of us interpreted the swinging lifestyle. Quin, no matter what activities you partake in (hetro, bi, group or orgies) if you consider yourself a swinger, then you’re a swinger in my book. If someone who only does threesomes or orgies or 4somes or any other combination under the sun considers themselves swingers…then they’re swingers. It’s different for everyone.

Now for my take on the meaning of swinging. And remember this only applies to Dave & Susie. If by chance it also applies to you or someone you know, we’d be happy to share our ideals with you! And if it doesn’t apply to you and you don’t agree with it remember it’s just our opinion, you don’t have to like it!

Swinging is something that we do together as a couple. I think that it has to be a little more involved than just cyber sex, but basically everything that we do together for sexual pleasure involving at least one other person is swinging to us. At least that’s what we’re into.

We also believe that there are other types of swingers. For instance, those who partake in activities with someone other than their spouse (or S/SO) with their FULL knowledge and consent is a swinger. Some people do this as a major turn on. Part of the thrill is knowing that your wife (husband) is out fucking someone else, and then will come home and give you all the details. If that’s what you’re into, bless you and have fun! <img border="0" alt="[Tongue]" title="" src="graemlins/tongue.gif" /> If you’re doing it behind your partner’s back without their knowledge or consent, then you’re cheating.

Swapping in separate rooms is also swinging, but it’s not something we’re into.

Single men and woman also have a place in the swinger’s community. There is a huge difference in a swinging single and someone just out to get laid. A swinging single respects the relationship that the couple has. The single knows that he/she is there for MUTUAL pleasure of ALL involved in the encounter. The person just out to get laid has an “I’m God’s gift to this couple...it's all about me” attitude.

Bottom line is we believe that the main aspect of swinging is the concept of sharing. I like having sex with other women knowing that Susie is getting off on that. I like her to have sex with other men (and women!) and I really get off on that. I love sharing her and showing others what a wonderfully sexy wife I have…and what a great lay she is! (Yes, I’m bragging on her!) And I think she feels the same way about me. “Of course that’s just my opinion, I could be wrong.”

sueandmark · 11-10-2002, 10:38 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by dave_susie2001:
if you consider yourself a swinger, then you’re a swinger in my book. If someone who only does threesomes or orgies or 4somes or any other combination under the sun considers themselves swingers…then they’re swingers. It’s different for everyone.
<hr /></blockquote>I think you guys hit it right on the money!

Quin · 11-12-2002, 09:14 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Quin-when you copy and paste to make a point do it right,,my quote says "First to ME" swinging is sharing with the opposite sex....That is my preferance and yes I know of many couples who the wife is bi.And they find out I'm not into that but they can have my hubby all they want.You're attitude is swinging must involve bisexuality and no,not necessarily.Like I said before-TO ME,it's sharing of opposite sex,,my preferance.Nice attitude Quin, to your posts-is this why you are single? <hr /></blockquote>I'll try to make this as simple as I can for, agilitybabe. I quoted the DIRECT part of your post I was answering in regards to...the other part of your post was MOOT in regards to my post. Need a definition for moot? Here it is according to Webster's, the short version:

Moot v. - Having no significance.

Meaning that the other part of your post had no significance in regards to what I was going to post about.

Ohhhhh you put in a little lame attempt to flame. How adult!! I am single by choice, I assure you. I don't wash any man's dirty drawers...there ain't that much love in the world.

Hey, ya ever heard of space bar? Every keyboard has one now in 2002...might want to check it out. <img border="0" alt="[lol]" title="" src="graemlins/lol.gif" /> And that's not an attempt to flame....it's the truth!!

Quin
<img border="0" alt="[Tongue]" title="" src="graemlins/tongue.gif" />

[ November 12, 2002, 09:15 PM: Message edited by: Quin ]

Quin · 11-12-2002, 09:23 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Single men and woman also have a place in the swinger’s community. There is a huge difference in a swinging single and someone just out to get laid. A swinging single respects the relationship that the couple has. The single knows that he/she is there for MUTUAL pleasure of ALL involved in the encounter. The person just out to get laid has an “I’m God’s gift to this couple...it's all about me” attitude.
<hr /></blockquote>This is very true. To be truthful, if I just wanted to get laid, I have a list of people I can call on anytime of day and they would be more than happy to oblige or I could go out to a bar and pick up someone, especially a male.

Can't argue with anything you posted on this subject dave&susie. I agree with it all.

Wait a minute...you mean it all isn't about me?? <img border="0" alt="[sad]" title="" src="graemlins/sad.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Evil Laugh]" title="" src="graemlins/evillaugh.gif" />

Quin
<img border="0" alt="[Tongue]" title="" src="graemlins/tongue.gif" />

L&K · 11-12-2002, 10:42 PM

Quins G sting must have got out of place . wa wa she didnt mention BI woman in her post .

quin is grumpy <img border="0" alt="[sad]" title="" src="graemlins/sad.gif" />

M

of swinging i know little , of life i know much

L&K · 11-12-2002, 11:24 PM

And another thing , quin you would really like my mother in law , she is a " MAN " hater too .
frankly you only think your single by choice dear .

he he now that is FLAME throwing .

M

of swinging i know little , of life i know much

***JustAskJulie*** · 11-13-2002, 03:58 AM

Ok, kids, put down the flame throwers or take them out in the hall and battle it out privately via PM's or email.

Remember the point here was to share your OWN PERSONAL OPINION on what swinging is.

SwingerSet · 11-13-2002, 08:36 AM

Very well said Julie

J.J. <img border="0" alt="[fun]" title="" src="graemlins/fun.gif" />

L&K · 11-13-2002, 11:38 AM

To the members , readers and to the Boss lady Julie .

Im sorry <img border="0" alt="[sad]" title="" src="graemlins/sad.gif" />

M

of swinging i no little , of life i know much .

OhioCouple · 03-01-2003, 02:43 PM

My personal opinion is that anyone who shares any type of consentual intimate experience together which involves two or more adults can be classified as swingers.

This means anything from being a voyuer to full blown orgies between consenting adults.

It really bothers me when I hear people say that soft swing is not swinging and that singles can't be swingers. Well more specifically most people think single men can't be swingers but view single women as lifestyle treasures. Single is single, male or female and I am bothered by the bias that couples have at times.

I am not talking about all couples nor am I saying specifically this board, I see it contiually in many places. I say swinging is swinging with whoever and whatever form you find confortable for yourself. Heck if we were all alike in our desires and actions we would be boring as hell.

Thank goodness for variety!

Lori

Flori_DAMAN · 03-01-2003, 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by OhioCouple
I say swinging is swinging with whoever and whatever form you find confortable for yourself. Heck if we were all alike in our desires and actions we would be boring as hell.

Thank goodness for variety!

Lori

Touche'

John

ATAK · 03-01-2003, 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by M & S
i have the answser to this ,,,,,,, I was watching Berman & Berman , the question was
" what constitues cheating " answer was anything that the spouse was not aware of regarding another of the opposite sex , that includes a kiss or e-mail ect , you get the point .

Now lets apply that to swinging . " swinging is " anything to do with sexuality , e-mails , playing on the net right on up to full swing and orgies .

Because Mr A and Mrs B never meet and only play sex games on the net , cyber sex if you will . Does this mean there now swingers in there own way ? I dont think so .

\Guess i take the term swinging pretty lose but that is me .

M

The way I read this, it appears that your position is that net play consitutes cheating in a married couple. Having been in that situation personally, I can see two sides to this...On the one hand, if you are a traditionalist, I can appreciate how you can see that any straying from your Sigificant Other would be considered a breach of your relationship with that person.

On the other hand, however, if men/women are allowed to read pornography, watch XXX movies and see others in the buff having sex, giving them the visual representation of someone outside of their relationship having sex, would that not also give either of the two involved in a relationship at least the thought of having sex with the person on the screen or in the book? Would that also not constitute cheating? It depends on your point of view. Some people would strictly say yes, as my ex-fiancee seemed to think. However, I say no and here's why...

If I meet a new person online in a chat room and we hit it off and we mutually decide to talk dirty to one another, then I fail to see how that interaction is any different than calling a 1-900 number for phone sex, except the cost is free. Because you are doing little more than reading and writing an interactive adult book yourself. You are creating in your mind, typing it with your fingers, and interacting with someone you don't even know what they look like. (unless you're webcamming). I do not see that as cheating, but a creative stimulus and in it's own way can be rewarding to a committed couple's sex life. You may be able to get ideas for the bedroom that you had not considered....etc...

On to the question at hand....What does swinging mean to me?

Swinging as a single male is a good way to meet people who are open minded and accepting of alternate points of view. I also enjoy meeting people who know that they can have an emotionally committed relationship with someone and are so stable in their relationship that they can enjoy the physical pleasure of more than one sexual partner without the jealousy of an insecure relationship. I've always believed that this type of philosophy was attainable but until recently, I was unaware that so many other people thought so too.

Swinging for me is also a way to bond with these people of like-mind. It may also be a way to meet a single lady who also holds this philosophy (which is not mandatory, but desireable). I also believe that swinging has a different level of meaning for everyone. For some it may be physical only, others its a need to be desired by many people...I say, If everyone is comfortable with everyone else's expectations, then dive in and have fun! Oh yeah, did I mention it's fun too?

ATAK

Flori_DAMAN · 03-01-2003, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ATAK

On the other hand, however, if men/women are allowed to read pornography, watch XXX movies and see others in the buff having sex, giving them the visual representation of someone outside of their relationship having sex, would that not also give either of the two involved in a relationship at least the thought of having sex with the person on the screen or in the book? Would that also not constitute cheating?

ATAK

Here is where I have to differ. Reading a penthouse or watching a porno flick is one thing. Any relationship which involves the mutual sexual stimulation of two people in my mind is a sexual act. It is that simple to me. Even if you are dirty dancing with someone and there is arousal that is acted upon during the course of the dance would be sexual interaction in my mind. Dancing in a provacative manner is cool, but if you are feeling her up and rubbing your hard on against her then its sexual interaction to me. Going to a topless joint and getting a lapdance falls into the same category in my book.

When I was married or with a s/o I always drew a line in the sand that could not be defined but if she was getting excited, (a female that I was with at any given time), and I was then it was time to cease and desist activity. Flirting doesn't do this and I'm a big flirt and I don't mind my partner flirting. But again when it becomes physical interaction, then its sexual interaction, whether its over the net or on a bed. I would feel cheated on if my wife or S/O made out with someone without my knowledge. No sex, just making out. Because this is a personal ground rule that I and my partners have always had.

Swinging to me involves first of all TWO people that are attached sharing themselves with complete knowledge with others. That may mean same room, seperate room, or three or moresomes of course.

The right or wrong of it as far as I am concerned only involves the definitions agreed to by BOTH.

Are open relationships swinging? That is another question. I really don't think so. Swinging in my mind is the sharing of the sexuality with your partner. Different rooms is close to an open relationship in some ways though. I wonder if anyone shared my viewpoints on these grey areas or if I am a ultra-conservative swinger (that doesn't swing anyhow cuz his ony swinging partner is his right hand, LOL)

John. Who had a great threesome with BOTH hands last night.

ATAK · 03-01-2003, 04:59 PM

Quote:

John. Who had a great threesome with BOTH hands last night.

That's ok, John, cause I went to a titty bar last night! LOL ...and got 4 lap dances...

ATAK

Oh Wait!!! I'm single! I can do that!!!

OhioCouple · 03-01-2003, 06:00 PM

ATAK,

I agree with most everything you said in your post but this:

Quote:

If I meet a new person online in a chat room and we hit it off and we mutually decide to talk dirty to one another, then I fail to see how that interaction is any different than calling a 1-900 number for phone sex, except the cost is free. Because you are doing little more than reading and writing an interactive adult book yourself. You are creating in your mind, typing it with your fingers, and interacting with someone you don't even know what they look like. (unless you're webcamming). I do not see that as cheating, but a creative stimulus and in it's own way can be rewarding to a committed couple's sex life. You may be able to get ideas for the bedroom that you had not considered....etc...

This would most definitely be cheating in my eyes if I were not aware of it and it was not a mutual agreement that it was okay to do. You describe this as being "OKAY" to do as it really is no different than reading or watching porn. I strongly disagree. Webcam or no webcam. If I were to find out or walk into my husband having *finger type* chat with an individual like he flips through a magazine or pops in an XXX tape then we would be having a serious discussion. The internet has made it possible for people to talk easier without cost. This is great if used in the appropriate manner such as chatting with friends, relatives etc. However, talking sexually with someone you meet online just because you hit it off is entirely a different matter when your other half is not in on it or approving of it.

I chat and email with many people from this board and from others sites too. So does my husband. We both are involved in it though, one or the other may not be present at the time of typing but we do not talk in a sexual explicit manner with them at all. We may ask certain questions or talk about a problem sometimes that is sexually related but the relationship we have with these people is much deeper than flipping thru a magazine or watching a video. Even though we have never met, we all know quite a bit about each other that has nothing to do with sex. There is no "Oooh Baby can you help me out here, or what are you wearing type of stuff." Which is the impression that you are giving and I would not go for that at all to find my husband doing anything of the sort, nor would he for I. We would be disconnecting the computer and if that didn't work and the need was there to do such then there would be phone bills to hand to the attorney if the situation didn't heal itself.

Lori

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11-10-2002, 07:25 PM	#16 (permalink)
dave_susie2001 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 284 Location: Michigan Status: Married Couple	</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Quin: <strong> Wow, I'll have to let the 40 some couples within my swinging circle that I've been involved with for years (some going on 22 years) that I'm not a swinger, I'm just a single female looking for some sex with a couple</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">“Now I don’t want to get off on a rant here,” but swinging is sooooo very subjective. I think that’s why Julie started this thread in the first place, to see how each of us interpreted the swinging lifestyle. Quin, no matter what activities you partake in (hetro, bi, group or orgies) if you consider yourself a swinger, then you’re a swinger in my book. If someone who only does threesomes or orgies or 4somes or any other combination under the sun considers themselves swingers…then they’re swingers. It’s different for everyone. Now for my take on the meaning of swinging. And remember this only applies to Dave & Susie. If by chance it also applies to you or someone you know, we’d be happy to share our ideals with you! And if it doesn’t apply to you and you don’t agree with it remember it’s just our opinion, you don’t have to like it! Swinging is something that we do together as a couple. I think that it has to be a little more involved than just cyber sex, but basically everything that we do together for sexual pleasure involving at least one other person is swinging to us. At least that’s what we’re into. We also believe that there are other types of swingers. For instance, those who partake in activities with someone other than their spouse (or S/SO) with their FULL knowledge and consent is a swinger. Some people do this as a major turn on. Part of the thrill is knowing that your wife (husband) is out fucking someone else, and then will come home and give you all the details. If that’s what you’re into, bless you and have fun! <img border="0" alt="[Tongue]" title="" src="graemlins/tongue.gif" /> If you’re doing it behind your partner’s back without their knowledge or consent, then you’re cheating. Swapping in separate rooms is also swinging, but it’s not something we’re into. Single men and woman also have a place in the swinger’s community. There is a huge difference in a swinging single and someone just out to get laid. A swinging single respects the relationship that the couple has. The single knows that he/she is there for MUTUAL pleasure of ALL involved in the encounter. The person just out to get laid has an “I’m God’s gift to this couple...it's all about me” attitude. Bottom line is we believe that the main aspect of swinging is the concept of sharing. I like having sex with other women knowing that Susie is getting off on that. I like her to have sex with other men (and women!) and I really get off on that. I love sharing her and showing others what a wonderfully sexy wife I have…and what a great lay she is! (Yes, I’m bragging on her!) And I think she feels the same way about me. “Of course that’s just my opinion, I could be wrong.”

11-10-2002, 10:38 PM	#17 (permalink)
sueandmark Registered Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 3 Location: NC	</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by dave_susie2001: if you consider yourself a swinger, then you’re a swinger in my book. If someone who only does threesomes or orgies or 4somes or any other combination under the sun considers themselves swingers…then they’re swingers. It’s different for everyone. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I think you guys hit it right on the money!

11-12-2002, 09:14 PM	#18 (permalink)
Quin Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 1,136 Location: Ohio Status: Single Female	</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Quin-when you copy and paste to make a point do it right,,my quote says "First to ME" swinging is sharing with the opposite sex....That is my preferance and yes I know of many couples who the wife is bi.And they find out I'm not into that but they can have my hubby all they want.You're attitude is swinging must involve bisexuality and no,not necessarily.Like I said before-TO ME,it's sharing of opposite sex,,my preferance.Nice attitude Quin, to your posts-is this why you are single? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I'll try to make this as simple as I can for, agilitybabe. I quoted the DIRECT part of your post I was answering in regards to...the other part of your post was MOOT in regards to my post. Need a definition for moot? Here it is according to Webster's, the short version: Moot v. - Having no significance. Meaning that the other part of your post had no significance in regards to what I was going to post about. Ohhhhh you put in a little lame attempt to flame. How adult!! I am single by choice, I assure you. I don't wash any man's dirty drawers...there ain't that much love in the world. Hey, ya ever heard of space bar? Every keyboard has one now in 2002...might want to check it out. <img border="0" alt="[lol]" title="" src="graemlins/lol.gif" /> And that's not an attempt to flame....it's the truth!! Quin <img border="0" alt="[Tongue]" title="" src="graemlins/tongue.gif" /> <small>[ November 12, 2002, 09:15 PM: Message edited by: Quin ]</small> __________________ One thing about me is that I'm consistant in my behavior, my thoughts, and my posting. I don't sell out or change for any reason outside of my own self wanting to. What you see is what you get: today, tomorrow and every day after that.

11-12-2002, 09:23 PM	#19 (permalink)
Quin Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 1,136 Location: Ohio Status: Single Female	</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Single men and woman also have a place in the swinger’s community. There is a huge difference in a swinging single and someone just out to get laid. A swinging single respects the relationship that the couple has. The single knows that he/she is there for MUTUAL pleasure of ALL involved in the encounter. The person just out to get laid has an “I’m God’s gift to this couple...it's all about me” attitude. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">This is very true. To be truthful, if I just wanted to get laid, I have a list of people I can call on anytime of day and they would be more than happy to oblige or I could go out to a bar and pick up someone, especially a male. Can't argue with anything you posted on this subject dave&susie. I agree with it all. Wait a minute...you mean it all isn't about me?? <img border="0" alt="[sad]" title="" src="graemlins/sad.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Evil Laugh]" title="" src="graemlins/evillaugh.gif" /> Quin <img border="0" alt="[Tongue]" title="" src="graemlins/tongue.gif" /> __________________ One thing about me is that I'm consistant in my behavior, my thoughts, and my posting. I don't sell out or change for any reason outside of my own self wanting to. What you see is what you get: today, tomorrow and every day after that.

11-12-2002, 10:42 PM	#20 (permalink)
L&K Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 197 Location: michigan Status: couple	Quins G sting must have got out of place . wa wa she didnt mention BI woman in her post . quin is grumpy <img border="0" alt="[sad]" title="" src="graemlins/sad.gif" /> M of swinging i know little , of life i know much

11-12-2002, 11:24 PM	#21 (permalink)
L&K Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 197 Location: michigan Status: couple	And another thing , quin you would really like my mother in law , she is a " MAN " hater too . frankly you only think your single by choice dear . he he now that is FLAME throwing . M of swinging i know little , of life i know much

11-13-2002, 03:58 AM	#22 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 22,068 Location: Alabama Status: Female SLS Name:swingersboard Blog Entries: 58	Ok, kids, put down the flame throwers or take them out in the hall and battle it out privately via PM's or email. Remember the point here was to share your OWN PERSONAL OPINION on what swinging is. __________________ Julie Owner/ Admin http://www.swingersboard.com

11-13-2002, 08:36 AM	#23 (permalink)
SwingerSet Active Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 72 Location: Northern MN Status: Sexy Couple	Very well said Julie J.J. <img border="0" alt="[fun]" title="" src="graemlins/fun.gif" />

11-13-2002, 11:38 AM	#24 (permalink)
L&K Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 197 Location: michigan Status: couple	To the members , readers and to the Boss lady Julie . Im sorry <img border="0" alt="[sad]" title="" src="graemlins/sad.gif" /> M of swinging i no little , of life i know much .

03-01-2003, 02:43 PM	#25 (permalink)
OhioCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 6,616 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female	My personal opinion is that anyone who shares any type of consentual intimate experience together which involves two or more adults can be classified as swingers. This means anything from being a voyuer to full blown orgies between consenting adults. It really bothers me when I hear people say that soft swing is not swinging and that singles can't be swingers. Well more specifically most people think single men can't be swingers but view single women as lifestyle treasures. Single is single, male or female and I am bothered by the bias that couples have at times. I am not talking about all couples nor am I saying specifically this board, I see it contiually in many places. I say swinging is swinging with whoever and whatever form you find confortable for yourself. Heck if we were all alike in our desires and actions we would be boring as hell. Thank goodness for variety! Lori __________________ Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

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