Is Swinging Addictive? Are we sex Addicts?

[JustAskJulie]

After more than a year of being completely inactive when it comes to the lifestyle (except for living vicariously through you guys), I don't know where I fall on this anymore. In a way, I don't know that I would ever be able to be in a position where the (future) possibility of swinging/ non-monogomy wasn't there, but at the same time, this is the first time in my life I have been monogomous for any period of time. I will always be open sexually, I will always be a flirt and enjoy that closeness with friends, being able to make out with a hot girl or guy I find attractive, but I don't really have that desire to have sex with anyone else (at least not at this point).
SO, I guess in a way yes I'm addicted, but I don't know that you should really call it that. I think some of us are just made that way.

[curious24]

I'm not addicted. It's hard to be addicted to something you aren't getting lol

[clem]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

After more than a year of being completely inactive when it comes to the lifestyle (except for living vicariously through you guys), I don't know where I fall on this anymore. In a way, I don't know that I would ever be able to be in a position where the (future) possibility of swinging/ non-monogomy wasn't there, but at the same time, this is the first time in my life I have been monogomous for any period of time. I will always be open sexually, I will always be a flirt and enjoy that closeness with friends, being able to make out with a hot girl or guy I find attractive, but I don't really have that desire to have sex with anyone else (at least not at this point).
SO, I guess in a way yes I'm addicted, but I don't know that you should really call it that. I think some of us are just made that way.

Julie: Your comments are appropos to the seperate topic "Men's Issue" going on right now. Our primary sex organ is between our ears. Once upon a time in our lives, we thought flirting and "making out" was doing it,and the potential of the lifestyle is that (to the open-minded) any thing or combination of things might be considered sex, so enjoy. Clem

[cutecplco]

Personally, I think there are just alot of people with very high sex drives. I'm sure there may be some who are sex addicts too. There is a difference.
For us, if we had to give up the lifestyle for some reason, we would. We don't need sex with other people, we just want to sometimes.

[De and Ci]

Underneath DeesireCpl it says "flamer/banned", Has this person been kicked off?...

Oh I just noticed the original post was 2 years ago. Okay!

[TXLadyBug]

Good morning guys,
This is a good question. "Addiction" According to some well known recovering addicts' groups, addiction is defined as, anything having a negetive inpact on your life. Are your actions having a negetive inpact on your relationships (family and friends), your career, your health, etc, etc? EX: eating can be condsider harmfull to you, if, it is negetively affecting your health.
My hubby and I are just recently getting back involved with the lifestyle, after a 2 yr break. I hated it. I think couples need to take a break sometimes, but never truely leave it. I enjoy being around with other like minded people and find others to be boring. It just isn't the sexual part of it, but how different, people in the lifestyle, handle life in general and I like it.
Greg&Elizabeth

[Mike and Jan]

Are you addicted to the lifestyle?

Addicted just might be too strong a word. I feel more that I'm 'suited' and that I'm 'correct' for the lifestyle.

Do you feel we as a community are sex addicts being in the lifestyle?

No, not at all. I think there's a real difference between enjoying something, and being addicted to it. Being addicted to something usually means you have to have more and more and are never satisfied. I've just seen too many swingers who find that comfort zone and relish in it for a long time. And, an addict will sneak off behind their partner's back for more of whatever it is. Isn't it wonderful how swingers seem to be much more faithful spouses than the 'vanilla' population?

Could you quit it totally never go back to it ever?

OK, my wife and I haven't done much at all for years. She tried but she, evidently, just couldn't find a comfort zone with swinging. I've accepted this as best I can but I always look for that perfect 'other' man or couple that might bring her back around. I quit out of necessity. I hate cheating and remember someone here years ago saying "swinging means never to have to think about cheating again".
I've missed swinging more than anything I've ever done, and I've done some pretty exciting things in my life. I think the only way I'd ever consider leaving my wife of 33 years is if I stumbled across a woman who I liked, was compatible with in other areas, trusted and enjoyed her companionship, then found out that she, too, was very interested in swinging as part of a relationship.

Have you ever gone 1 day without thinking about swinging?

Probably not!
And, Julie, it was really interesting to hear your responses. I've wondered how you felt. After all, this is your business as well as your lifestyle. I so envy your husband.

[xxoticangel]

I don't think addicted is the right word but for the life of me I can't think of a better one. The thrill of the chase, the suduction, the freedom to have multiple partners while maintaining a steady stable relationship with your spouse, the excitement of being with a new partner the first time, etc. are all very "addictive" feelings. The best I can do is to equate it to riding a motorcycle. I rode for years and had some great times riding solo and with friends. It's been 10 years since I rode and I still miss it. Sometimes more than others but when I see someone riding on a sunny afternoon I remember the feeling of freedom that I expierenced but not having a motorcycle has not negatively effected my life and I am still a happy person.

So could I give up swinging? Sure. If circumstances put us in that position I could and would still be happy but I would really rather not.