The definition of Swinging

[TNT]

Originally Posted by neoparadigm

Now this is what I am talking about.. the kind of swinging that represents a truly enlightened couple, embracing the possibilities of what this lifestyle could offer..
the key to this is "no reprecussions" because this couple doesn't have to "agree"
they do allow their partner the possibility for perfect freedom, and it shows in their relationship.. I would love to move in this direction, much more impressive than "we only play together" or just what wifey or hubby wants...

Their posts here have always been respectful and non judgmental and you should all be honored to have them here.

Well, that's a very sweet compliment...thank you, but...there is more to the story (as there usually is ).

Even though we do have this agreement a phone call to the other, before things progressed too far, is also in that agreement. Should the other say "I'd rather you not tonight", it would be respected with no questions asked and no whining on the other's part. We also realize that there "might" be a time where a phone call before would not be feasible...there would not be any reprecussions even then but, it's definitely something that we have agreed to try and avoid.

It all boils down to respect for the other person and their feelings...you should never purposely cause pain to the one you love.

Teresa

[CandPinSA]

Originally Posted by TNT

It all boils down to respect for the other person and their feelings...you should never purposely cause pain to the one you love.

That statement gets to the crux of the whole matter. Respect. I'm sorry Neo, this is something you just don't posess.... or through your other issues, are unable to express or demonstrate.

Mr. C

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by TNT

Even though we do have this agreement a phone call to the other, before things progressed too far, is also in that agreement. Should the other say "I'd rather you not tonight", it would be respected with no questions asked and no whining on the other's part.

Now that's what I'M talking about!

Respect that goes both ways...

He's right - we are lucky to have you guys

Spoomonkey

[TNT]

Originally Posted by TeamSoBe

the totally open relationships that you idealize are the end product of two people spending years building trust and evolving together.

Very true...we've spent literally a lifetime getting to this point...it definitely did not happen overnight.


Teresa

[TNT]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

He's right - we are lucky to have you guys

Spoomonkey

Awwww you purple monkey...flatterly will get you every where and anything you want.

Teresa

[neoparadigm]

Great point made.. how this respect and trust have taken a lifetime to realize..congrats..
very impressive indeed..

It didn't happen overnight.. I have always contended that trust is something that is "earned"
slowly over time.. not given away.. I have learned this in business..

I don't see this as being any different in a personal relationship.
Trust must slowly be earned..

So all this trust in the lifestyle is horseshit with other couples, why would everyone be trying to get us to play within minutes at the swing club when they don't know us at all? How could there be any trust? Because the act of swinging (three or more people having consenting sex)
is about ....you guessed it.. SEX.. I see more sluttiness with swingers than I ever do in the vanilla world of getting to know someone and building trust.. You all talk about trust but don't live it.. I'll could show you after you fuck us and I reveal my true identity.. the evil neoparadigm who tested your instinct and intuition..and revealed your hipocracy.

You are all so full of hipocracy it is unbelievable. I am showing this to you for your own good as you have shown me all your posts for my own good..

[CandPinSA]

Originally Posted by neoparadigm

Great point made.. how this respect and trust have taken a lifetime to realize..congrats..
very impressive indeed..

It didn't happen overnight.. I have always contended that trust is something that is "earned"
slowly over time.. not given away.. I have learned this in business..

I don't see this as being any different in a personal relationship.
Trust must slowly be earned..

So all this trust in the lifestyle is horseshit with other couples, why would everyone be trying to get us to play within minutes at the swing club when they don't know us at all? How could there be any trust? Because the act of swinging (three or more people having consenting sex)
is about ....you guessed it.. SEX.. I see more sluttiness with swingers than I ever do in the vanilla world of getting to know someone and building trust.. You all talk about trust but don't live it.. I'll could show you after you fuck us and I reveal my true identity.. the evil neoparadigm who tested your instinct and intuition..and revealed your hipocracy.

You are all so full of hipocracy it is unbelievable. I am showing this to you for your own good as you have shown me all your posts for my own good..

Ok, I may have to retract my psychoanalysis of you Neo. You impress me. I had no idea anyone could be so adept at being such a comlete and utter idiot. You can't even comprehend a simple paradigm of what the people here are trying to display and express to you. Trust in 'you', the play partner invited to their bed, while that would be hoped for, is not the trust they are talking about. It is the trust felt and shown to each other (husband and wife, S/O and S/O), not them and 'you' the extra. Idiot.

Failure to see through someones act, to notice their true nature, is not hypocricy, young sir. It is simply being, as you so eloquently put it earlier, duped. Anyone can be duped. That has nothing at all to do with being a hypocrite. Idiot.

Mr. C

[TeamSoBe]

Originally Posted by neoparadigm

So all this trust in the lifestyle is horseshit with other couples, why would everyone be trying to get us to play within minutes at the swing club when they don't know us at all? How could there be any trust?

It's about a couples' trust in each other. Which is the part that you're blind to. Which is what we keep disagreeing with you about. You only see yourself, you don't see you and your girlfriend as a couple, as the fundamental unit that you swing from.

[neoparadigm]

If you are truly a person who values trust and respect then you live it... right across the boards.. in all walks of life. Swinging is an act of sexual perversion and slutty behavior.
I admit it.... and live the truth much more than most I see here.. respect that at least..

Getting naked with the neo's of this world down at the swing club in 5 minutes shows a flaw in your character big time..

I choose to live with my demons rather than fight them..

I am a subset of your community whether you like it or not..

[MoonLightKiss]

Originally Posted by neoparadigm

If you are truly a person who values trust and respect then you live it... right across the boards.. in all walks of life. Swinging is an act of sexual perversion and slutty behavior.
I admit it.... and live the truth much more than most I see here.. respect that at least..

Getting naked with the neo's of this world down at the swing club in 5 minutes shows a flaw in your character big time..

I choose to live with my demons rather than fight them..

I am a subset of your community whether you like it or not..

BRB to the corner in a sec guys...Well, while I am certain you are entitled to your opinion, (however rude, obnoxious and under educated they are) I am also entitled to mine. You can sit here all day long preaching your opinions about how swinging is an act of sexual perversion and slutty behavior. Me personally, I am going to keep right on doing it, because I see it for what it truly is. The ability to have fun. My husband and I see it no different than going for dinner, and a movie. Except this is more fun.

As for respect, and who values it, based on your previous posts, I am sure you will understand if I scoff at your opinion of what respect is, and allow my husband and I to have a good laugh at your expense. Let me assure you, my husband truly, deeply loves and respects me, and as I do truly deeply love and respect him. I can also tell you that from the many threads on this board, there are many, many other couples who feel the same way about their spouses and SO's that I feel for my husband.

See what you fail to realize, is respect in a marraige is defined by those in that marraige. If we feel it is respectful to swing in our marraige, then guess what, IT IS. If at any time one or both of us feels that it is a problem for us to swing, it then becomes disrespectful, and we will quit. And you can sit on your soap box and imply that every man would have a problem with that. I cannot speak for other men, (even though I believe many on this board would do the same thing and quit with no problems.) but my husband would look at me, say cool no problem, and never bring it up again. You act like once a swinger always a swinger. Not true. That is the beauty of being in this lifestyle. You can choose to be in it with no judgement from others in the lifestyle, and you can choose to leave it with best wishes all around. I have "vanilla" friends who aren't this understanding and supportive.

So now that I have told you what I think of your "opinions" in as nice a way as possible, I will apologize to the MODS if anything I said was out of line, and slink myself off back to the corner for my second spanking, since I just couldn't keep my mouth shut.

Hey, someone hand me a beer, and who's doin the spanking? I been a BAD girl

[JnCC]

Originally Posted by neoparadigm

I am a subset of your community whether you like it or not..

That you are... but I don't think your core-values mirror those of this community.

I also question, once again, whether you're as successful in this as a single male as you portray yourself to be.

Lastly, your statement that you "see more sluttiness with swingers than I ever do in the vanilla world of getting to know someone and building trust.. You all talk about trust but don't live it.." doesn't really hold water here. Couples in this lifestyle reflect virtually every level of discretion in selecting partners that vanilla singles do, from a "Let's be friends first...and maybe friends only" to "I like your package. Wanna fuck in the parking lot while the band is on break?" There simply is no "one level of discretion fits all" rule that appplies to how long or how well people need to know each other prior to having sex in this lifestyle.

I have a feeling that you're a very lonely individual, with no idea as to why.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by neoparadigm

I am a subset of your community whether you like it or not..

Oh, we know...

It's labeled "laughingstock"

Spoomonkey

[CandPinSA]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Oh, we know...

It's labeled "laughingstock"

Spoomonkey

HOooh!! Yeah!!!

[neoparadigm]

look, I don' make claims to know you..
but I do smell the hipocracy big time..

[CandPinSA]

Originally Posted by neoparadigm

look, I don' make claims to know you..
but I do smell the hipocracy big time..

no what you smell, is people tiring of your pointless, useless, senseless, ignorant, close minded, arguments. that's what you smell.

C