Bare Back Swingers

[bear_n_bunny]

Bear and I went to meet a couple last night that he had coresponding with. The lounge we met in was a little loud since it was full of cowboys from the Rodeo, so the guys ended up talking with each other, and the ladies chatted. In the course of conversation she reveals that they were not going to swing with some couple they met and liked because the woman insisted on condoms and her husband didn't do condoms.

What! I was shocked. I couldn't think of anything to say as it was so casually offered. Needless to say I handled it badly by not saying anything and calling the evening early. It was something to speak with Bear about, and not in a lounge full of cowboys from the Rodeo.

Here's my query, are bareback swingers common? As much as I trust and enjoy our long time playmates, I think I'd still insist on a condom. Not just to prevent me getting pregnant, but avoid those tricky and deadly STDs. No matter how honest someone was about being clean, the fact of the matter is STDs nowadays can hide out for years.

As an example, after being celibate for six years once, my yearly PAP came up funny. Turns out it was clymedia. Who knows how long that little nasty had been lurking around in my system. I would hate to think I'd in all honesty told a partner I was clean and then given them something.

The point of this rambling is, how can swingers justify ever being OK with going bareback? If you are OK with it, can you share why? If you do insist on bareback, shouldn't that be something in your profile or shared up front?I know I don't everything on the subject and enjoy the different opinions on the board.

I'll be the first to admit I enjoy sex without condoms far more than with, but I don't think I could justify it. As well, it is something seperates mine and Bear's love making from our playing.

-- A Shocked and Confused Bunny

[Spoomonkey]

We only play with condoms, but the idea of finding people we knew well enough and were comfortable enough to play totally naked is appealing. Not sure we'll get to that point - but who knows.

I don't think bare back players are common - but who knows. I think we'd have to get to a point where we were a part of a rather exclusive circle before we considered it.

It is weird that the couple weren't on the same page... That is a combo that will likely never work out... I would think...

Spoomonkey

[cm89]

We only play with condoms. We have met some truly great people but, you never know...

[BradAndJanet]

It depends on the couple; how well we know them and trust them, their sexual history, their preferences, etc. For instance, someone we just met at a club? Condoms, no question. Others? Maybe not...

-B

[windsor4fun2]

We ran into one couple in a chat room that advertised she HAD to bareback because of a latex allergy. The woman was using it as a "selling" feature in attracting people. My wife sent her a private message saying there were non-latex condoms available. My wife was told to mind her own damn business. I just don't understand people some times. head bang

Jesse

[yawanna]

I remember that couple!!

[Yummi]

Originally posted by cm89
We only play with condoms. We have met some truly great people but, you never know...

Even really great people get STD's unfortunately...

However, I really can't imagine giving oral to a guy with a condom on.

[yawanna]

why not? Hookers do it

[Mich149]

We have had a couple or two say that they prefer without and one even tried to insist on it, but I'd have to say we're there with spoomonkey. We don't do it, but the idea of finding people we're that comfortable with is appealing.

As for blowjobs with a condom? Even the "flavored" ones taste awful and that would just ruin it entirely.

[gsu22]

Always condoms for me......but like others have said, once you get comfortable with people and know their history....then maybe no condoms........its all about trust in my humble opinion.

[VegasLee]

Originally posted by yawanna
why not? Hookers do it

Simple, my wife is not a hooker!

[EternallySingle]

There is only one woman I know I would ever go bareback with. I've known her for 15 years, know her kids and their grandmother, who she last ahd sex with, her favorite positions, what she looks for in men (not me, but the occasional sex is GREAT), and when her last comprehensive STD test was. I know that because nine years ago I asked where I could get a test done right and she took me to a clinic she goes to. Since then we go to the clinic together every nine months (you get fewer funny looks if you go with someone...or at least thats what she thinks) and we share the results with each other when we get them a week later.

Outside of her and the wife I don't have yet, I would NEVER go bareback with anyone I didn't know well. I did once on the spur of the moment and it scared the hell out of me when I had a "hot pee". Luckily, turned out I had a reaction to a drink I didn't know was made with shrimp, not an STD.

BTW, what kind of drink is made with shellfish anyway?

[jcbicouple]

Originally posted by Mich149
We have had a couple or two say that they prefer without and one even tried to insist on it, but I'd have to say we're there with spoomonkey. We don't do it, but the idea of finding people we're that comfortable with is appealing.

As for blowjobs with a condom? Even the "flavored" ones taste awful and that would just ruin it entirely.

Dito Everything you said!
Just as a "Food for thought": Years ago, one of my good friends had a STD.........Unfortunately, she NEVER had a single symtom. She was what the doctors described as "a carrier". Chances are she had spread it to anyone she slept with over the course of what the doctors estimated to be somewhere between 5 and 10 years. She found out when she was engaged and her fiance came down with an STD.......guess where he got it?

[yawanna]

Simple, my wife is not a hooker!

absolutely!! nor am I

However, men who engage the services of a prostitute must wear a condom, that she provides, even for bj's. So why wouldn't a man use protection when 'swinging' with the female of a couple that he knows and supposedly respects.

Shouldn't he be just as careful, if not more, for the health and well being of the female of the couple he and his wife are playing with. And wouldn't he want the same safety and assurances taken for his wife by the other male.

[Greg & Sheryl]

Originally posted by bear_n_bunny
Here's my query, are bareback swingers common?

Based on our observations, we'd say bareback swingers are very common. Although the majority of swingers on this board seem very conscientious about condom use, we haven’t seen too many people using condoms at the events we’ve attended. It’s possible that this lack of condom use is unique to those particular events, while elsewhere condoms are the rule rather than the exception. However, we do have some theories as to why some swingers prefer to go bareback.

Most of the swingers we know are over 40. Unlike younger, more fertile couples, most of the people we know have finished breeding and have sterilized themselves. This removes an incentive to use condoms to prevent pregnancy. Furthermore, couples over 40 became sexually active before HIV reared its ugly head in the 1980’s, so they were never indoctrinated with “safe sex” messages as they were growing up.

Regarding HIV, although it is understood that anyone can acquire the virus, from a statistical standpoint it is still a virus that largely strikes gay men, IV drug users and low-income, inner-city minorities. Generally, swingers don’t fit into any of those categories, so the swinging community has been virtually untouched by this disease. Unlike the gay community, HIV has never pushed the swinging community into widespread condom use.

While is it possible for certain cases of STDs to be asymptomatic, symptoms usually manifest themselves among at least one partner (usually the male) within a given committed couple. Given that swingers generally belong to a well-to-do demographic which is more likely to have access to quality health care, it would seem that an infected couple would get any STDs taken care of before they pass it on to any other couples.

However, that last scenario would seem to be uncommon. After all, if committed couple A is clean and they go bareback with each other (as most committed couples do), and committed couple B is also clean and goes bareback with each other, what’s to keep them from going bareback if they get together and swap? It would seem that for an infection to occur among the circle of committed couples, the infection would have to come from an outside source. This might be an argument to avoid going bareback with singles even if you go bareback with other couples.

In spite of these points, it is understood that nothing short of abstinence or absolute monogamy will reduce the odds of avoiding disease to zero. It is up to every swinging couple to assess the risk involved in everything they do in the lifestyle. Some couples don’t swap at all because they feel the risk is too high. Some couples feel comfortable going bareback with other couples because they feel the pleasure of doing so outweighs the risk.

It’s like riding a motorcycle. Some people will never get on one. Others will ride, but always wear a helmet. But for others, feeling the wind rip through your hair is part of the whole experience.