hypothetical swingers getting started

[Testing the H2O]

Hello all, erm, I hate doing these ackward intros.

So im 23, hes 25, and weve been dating a year. Ive known him for about 7 yrs, and the relationship started off long distance (basic cheesy romantic comedy about falling in love with your best friend who lives 3 thous miles away). About 4 months into the relationship I made a cross country move to be with him. Weve had a LOT of issues, but we made it through, learned a lot about each other, and the realationship is definately for the better because of it.

When we were long distance, we attempted an open relationship (in which we would tell each other everything), and after some fooling around on both our parts, realized that the emotional sacrifices werent worth the benefits. We always talked about how we'd like to continue the concept, but felt like swinging together as a couple would minimize the emotional f*ckage and end up as a fun thing that we can do together. We agree that our relationship has gotten stable enough to act on this, but its been a very passive thing so far. We havent gone to any clubs, and we tried fling and whatnot (im about 99% sure our playdate or play mate wont be from a hookup site). He's bi, and Im fairly straight but curious, and we have very different physical tastes in people. Generally speaking, we both need to feel a mental attraction to a person before finding them physically attractive.

Okay, im rambiling at this point. Short story is that were still figuring out what we think will work and deciding how much were willing to commit to this lifestyle...ie to persue it and go to a club or whatever, or just be passive and it it happens it happens. Were basically just looking to talk to people in the lifestyle or new to it like we are, and see what we gather from it all.

[screaminggood]

Welcome to the Board! You'll find plenty of people here willing to listen, er read, and respond with their opinions, and suggestions for any questions you have. My advice: continue to enjoy exploring the idea together. Y'all will know when and if you're ready to act on the idea. After all, half the fun is the anticipation!

[LFM2]

[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by Testing the H2O

Hello all, erm, I hate doing these ackward intros.

So im 23, hes 25, and weve been dating a year. Ive known him for about 7 yrs, and the relationship started off long distance (basic cheesy romantic comedy about falling in love with your best friend who lives 3 thous miles away). About 4 months into the relationship I made a cross country move to be with him. Weve had a LOT of issues, but we made it through, learned a lot about each other, and the realationship is definately for the better because of it.

When we were long distance, we attempted an open relationship (in which we would tell each other everything), and after some fooling around on both our parts, realized that the emotional sacrifices werent worth the benefits. We always talked about how we'd like to continue the concept, but felt like swinging together as a couple would minimize the emotional f*ckage and end up as a fun thing that we can do together. We agree that our relationship has gotten stable enough to act on this, but its been a very passive thing so far. We havent gone to any clubs, and we tried fling and whatnot (im about 99% sure our playdate or play mate wont be from a hookup site). He's bi, and Im fairly straight but curious, and we have very different physical tastes in people. Generally speaking, we both need to feel a mental attraction to a person before finding them physically attractive.

Okay, im rambiling at this point. Short story is that were still figuring out what we think will work and deciding how much were willing to commit to this lifestyle...ie to persue it and go to a club or whatever, or just be passive and it it happens it happens. Were basically just looking to talk to people in the lifestyle or new to it like we are, and see what we gather from it all.

Just curious, You say you would not feel getting to know people online would benifit you at this time.

May I ask why ?

[JustAskJulie]

to the board! Thank you for sharing your story, I look forward to hearing more of it and more of your thoughts as you transition into swinging (if you decide to).

[rpu3]

Thank you for introducing yourselves. Be sure to check out the Archives - there is a lot of information there already categorized for easy research. If you have any questions or comments as you evaluate swinging, please do not hesitate to ask!

[Testing the H2O]

Originally Posted by fun4Ds

Just curious, You say you would not feel getting to know people online would benifit you at this time.

May I ask why ?

Oh, its not that I feel getting to know people online wouldnt be benificial, its that I dont think were going to find a potential swing partner online. Granted, we havent tried swinger specific sites and ill give that a whirl, but weve tried the fling/adult friend finder route and well, just got nothing and nowhere.

[Alura]

from Oklahoma, Testing the H2O! There was nothing awkward about your introduction. In fact, I'd say it was a very good one.

I think y'all are on the right track. As you get to know the folks here on Swingers Board, you'll gain a better understanding of the lifestyle. My guess is that you're relationship will improve as y'all learn to communicate better.

It's an exciting idea to be starting in the lifestyle at so young an age. Most of us started much older.

Mr. Alura

[fun4Ds]

Just reading your thread I would like to point out a few things. Keep in mind, like you, Mrs fun and I were young once also. I know, Yea yea yea what ever

But the thing is, I think you should really take this slow and with stride at your ages. You may have the intellectual mind to sort all this out, and think before you hook up. But, in your age group unfortunately, not many do. I'm talking about THEM, Especially the males. This includes me at your age. Allot of thinking with our dicks and not our minds.

You might share something special now, because I really think you have more than infatuation toward each other. Your going to learn so much about each other, if you find that apartment together. That will lead to understanding those things you don't like about each other. It does happen, we did.

So now, don't you think you might find people in this lifestyle that are in-tune with all the real things in life and relationships ?

Suppose you get out to meet people and just because the dishes were not done, the makeup all around the bathroom, his crap,your crap, who didn't pay the fucking light bill and all the little things that pile up and erk the shit out of one another, are unresolved.... Take a pile of all the little things in your lives together, to a swingers party, and most will sense potential DRAMA.

I hope you find that appartment... Then take some time together and talk about not only yourselves, but THEM. Your potential sex partners. We were exposed to some mature swingers back in the day. We just kind of put that in a box till a later time in life, without understanding what we experienced. If only we had a place like the Swingers Board then, we might have stayed the coarse in life, with a little more understanding..... About ourselves

So this leads to my question about people on-line ?

I hope you consider that some of the more cleaner related sites like swinglifestyle or the new swingerzone central have real people just like us on there. People either single or in good sound relationships, understanding what we feel sexually. People just like us, you may meet in those CLUBS or meet and greets.

And just like real life, there are plenty of non-compatible fuck heads you may want to avoid . You'll see. Just my thoughts and opinion, were all entitled.

Hope you share yours

[sweet_tna]

Hi and thanks for your intro.

=)