How to tell vanilla friends about hottubbing naked and not offend them.

[MapleCpl]

Hello,
My wife and I have been swingers for the last 15 years. We don't usually try to swing or have sex with vanilla friends, but sometimes the subject of hottubbing comes up. For the most part and like many swingers, we hate going in the tub with clothes on, but how do we tell our friends that we'd rather we all go naked.
We find this to be a deal breaker and sometimes and people just shy away from the idea of being in the tub naked with us. The thought of being naked in the tub with Vanilla friends turns us on, even if we don't intend to play or cross the line.
Please help!!
Maple Cpl in Ontario.

[slevin]

Originally Posted by MapleCpl

Hello,
My wife and I have been swingers for the last 15 years. We don't usually try to swing or have sex with vanilla friends, but sometimes the subject of hottubbing comes up. For the most part and like many swingers, we hate going in the tub with clothes on, but how do we tell our friends that we'd rather we all go naked.
We find this to be a deal breaker and sometimes and people just shy away from the idea of being in the tub naked with us. The thought of being naked in the tub with Vanilla friends turns us on, even if we don't intend to play or cross the line.
Please help!!
Maple Cpl in Ontario.

If it's your tub, just tell them that the rule in your house is no clothes in the hottub. Maybe even get a sign to put by the hottub If it's not your hottub, then go with whatever their rules are.

Personally, there are all kinds of friends we have that I'd rather not see naked

[MapleCpl]

Originally Posted by slevin

If it's your tub, just tell them that the rule in your house is no clothes in the hottub. Maybe even get a sign to put by the hottub If it's not your hottub, then go with whatever their rules are.

Personally, there are all kinds of friends we have that I'd rather not see naked

Thanks for the reply.

[realcplub2]

Originally Posted by slevin

If it's your tub, just tell them that the rule in your house is no clothes in the hottub. Maybe even get a sign to put by the hottub If it's not your hottub, then go with whatever their rules are.

Personally, there are all kinds of friends we have that I'd rather not see naked

"well reverend, Sure you can use our hot tub for next weeks baptism, But we have a few rules we need to go over...."

But seriously.. I have to agree with Slevin.. There are some people that can be friends, but please DON"T GO ANY FURTHER.. Plus even if its not someone you consider potential play partners.. Why bother

[Lascivious L&L]

We've had many vanilla friends in our hot tub naked. It really is not that difficult for the vanilla world to understand nudity in a hot tub. There are many nude beaches, and most nudists aren't swingers.

Another approach is to say that you go naked in your own hot tub but they can wear whatever they feel comfortable in. Plenty of times we've been naked while less adventurous folk wear a suit.

Nudity and sexuality are not one and the same. I hate going swimming or to jump in a hot tub with clothes on. Fortunately we have our own hot tub, and there are many nude beaches in Vermont. There's even a gorgeous state park with a nude beach. The rangers often stop and chat with the nude beach goers. They're in their uniforms and we're starkers.

[ncmd_couple]

There are technical reasons to not allow swimsuits in hot tubs, the main one is that detergent is still in the suit after washing and it will cause the spa to foam up. I have a number of t-shirts that are completely rinsed, they can wear those if they like. But the majority of the time, those that don't want to go nude and wear the t-shirt, soon shuck the t-shirt. Just let it be known and let them choose, it isn't a big deal unless you make it one. My daughters have been in the hot tub nude, no biggie. And they aren't swingers. (as far as I know anyway.)

S

[JoCoCpl]

IMHO, I guess it comes down to what is more important to you - spending time with your friends or being naked in the hot tub. If they don't want to do both, you'll have a decision to make.

Personally, I'd go ahead and wear something to match their comfort level if I'm wanting to spend time with them. We all talk about moving forward at the comfort level of others in the lifestyle, I guess I don't understand why you wouldn't show the same respect for vanilla friends as well.

To each their own!

[Newpants]

Is it an actual rule of your's to not allow people to wear cloths into the hottub or do you simply like to be naked in the tub yourself?

If it is a rule, there are going to be a lot of people that are simply not going to agree with the rule and choose to not join you.

If it isn't an actual rule you can just say that "clothing is optional" and the choice is up to them. A lot of vanillas will hottub nude and there are swingers that don't.

Nude hottubbing and swinging are not synonimous.

Some people are never going to be comfortable naked in front of other people but many others will do it as long as they feel safe and nonthreatened.

Is there any possibility that these people that refused were feeling threatened or encroached? Could they have been feeling that you were going to try to get them into some kind of sexual situation?

[MapleCpl]

Originally Posted by Newpants

Is it an actual rule of your's to not allow people to wear cloths into the hottub or do you simply like to be naked in the tub yourself?

If it is a rule, there are going to be a lot of people that are simply not going to agree with the rule and choose to not join you.

If it isn't an actual rule you can just say that "clothing is optional" and the choice is up to them. A lot of vanillas will hottub nude and there are swingers that don't.

Nude hottubbing and swinging are not synonimous.

Some people are never going to be comfortable naked in front of other people but many others will do it as long as they feel safe and nonthreatened.

Is there any possibility that these people that refused were feeling threatened or encroached? Could they have been feeling that you were going to try to get them into some kind of sexual situation?

Newpants: Not at all.
We just like going into the tub naked and yes, we get turned on knowing we have friends joining us naked. It is not a big deal if they don't go naked.
Please read again "we know not to cross the line here"

[PB&J]

Originally Posted by MapleCpl

yes, we get turned on knowing we have friends joining us naked. It is not a big deal if they don't go naked.
Please read again "we know not to cross the line here"

Sounds like there's a sexual vibe there, even if you were never going to cross the line. Surely your friends would pick up on that?

[Lascivious L&L]

We don't mention the hot tub to vanilla friends who are really hung up on nudity. Why even go there?

Yes we have gone in with suits with family. It's how I know how much I hate suits in the hot tub. We double rinse our laundry because I hate detergent residues, and haven't had a problem with foam.

More often we let the women go naked together and the men go later, when it's family, so as not to offend anyone. Friends, well they can take it or leave it. There's no need to enjoy a hot tub if it's not going to be enjoyable. Their comfort level decides hot tub or not.

[fun4Ds]

Treat your vanilla guests "as vanilla quests" Let them wear their swim suits/undies, keep yours on, and they wont be offended.

[lustylearning]

Naaah. All things being equal, I'll keep the swimsuit on.

[Fundamental Law]

Given that hot tubs are kept at a perfect temperature and aeration for growing all sorts of nasty microorganisms, an alternative is to politely suggest showering before getting in, providing plenty of towels/robes, and saying that swimsuits are both optional and discouraged to help keep the tub clean for everyone.

[The Fuse]

You say you don't intend to cross any lines, but you also say you get excited by going in the tub naked with your friends being naked. In my mind by requiring people to be naked in order to enjoy your hot tub, you are asking them to provide you with a sexual charge, whether or not you actually try to touch them. People will pick up on that and feel a bit pressured. If going naked makes them uncomfortable, and you give them the choice of "go naked or don't go", then I don't think that's very nice. Many people aren't comfortable being naked in front of others. The question is, what's more important, your minor sexual charge (which you are getting as a result of their nakedness) or your guests' comfort?

If you have a real problem with detergents, etc. and you don't feel you can abide clothes in the hot tub for that reason, then tell your friends that, and offer them the opportunity to enjoy the tub for a few minutes without you in it if they are shy. But if the detergent is not the real reason, and your deal is "to go in the hot tub you have to show me your tits and pussy", well, that's just not on in my opinion.