My gf is still seeing her ex bf all the time

controlledbygf · 12-20-2009, 08:41 PM

Hi all, first off im a 20yr old male dateing a 20 year old female. Weve been together a year and a half now.

So my situation is my gf has been and is still seeing or with her ex bf all the time. Texting, calling, lunches, diners, breakfast, everything. She sleeps at his house and he at hers. Most of her friends and his friends including some of mine think their dateing and know nothing of me and her. She doesnt tell me when she sees him and keeps their conversations private. When I ask her whats going on between the two of them she says nothing their just friends...

So what do i do?

25YearOldMaleNJ · 12-20-2009, 09:18 PM

first off, you need to ask her about it. Trust and communication are most important. But at our young age (and you even younger than I), I believe it's just young individuals wanting to have fun. I don't want to ever assume what's going on, but red flags got thrown in the air with pretty much every single thing you said. Even if they aren't doing anything sexually, that's just an out-of-ordinary situation.

Not to throw a curve ball, but I'm curious why you're posting this question on a swingers website. have you in the past included her ex-bf in some fun?

Regardless, I believe the first thing you need to do is sit down and talk with her. Trust me, if it doesn't work out with her, you WILL find another girl...and she will treat you with the respect that you deserve.

controlledbygf · 12-20-2009, 09:30 PM

Im posting it on swingers because i have let her enjoy another female before and swingings been a intrest of mine i just dunno how id feel when it came to it. I know they flirt/ talk about sex and stuff. I used to take her to his place all the time and take her to see him. I even let her go with him on halloween where she was dressed up in practicaly nothing and as he picked her up he gave her a glance over and smacked her ass and she bent over for another one.

The Fuse · 12-20-2009, 09:32 PM

Your posts and your screen name scream "cuckold" to me.

I think you think she is cheating on you, and that you like it. Posting here about it and getting people to comment is part of the thrill for you.

Perhaps? Perhaps not. But that's what it sounds like to me.

controlledbygf · 12-20-2009, 09:36 PM

Im not sure what cuckold is but Im not trying to get a thrill but more of iv never talked to anyone about this and didnt know who to go to.

I do think shes cheating and infact she has before but we talked and got over it.

I wanna bring this up to her but when i do she just denies everything and im to chicken shit to tell her about swaping or anything of that nature

25YearOldMaleNJ · 12-20-2009, 09:40 PM

Honestly, if you are really interested in swapping or any swinging, it doesn't seem like this is the right relationship to be doing so anyways. If you believe she is cheating on you, and she is downright flirting with her ex, I wouldn't start a swinging relationship with her. Plus, if you do decide to tell her, she may take advantage of that open door and just cheat on you endlessly. I would suggest you talk with her about what she is currently doing to you. At this point, I am not sure if swinging is the best avenue for your relationship. Maybe I'm wrong? I'm not the very experienced one here like so many others on this site. Hopefully some others can chime in.

ALilOEverything · 12-20-2009, 09:45 PM

How do you even know she's broke up him? It sounds like she's still with the other guy and you're the guy she's cheating with.

Run away, why get wrapped up in a relationship where you don't even know where you stand.

**SW_PA_Couple** · 12-20-2009, 11:06 PM

Got some news for you. Until you two tie the knot, or at minimum announce to the world your engagement, she's free to see or sent text messages to any man she wants. If you really want her for yourself, you'd better work a little harder to win her over.

~Michael

Chicup · 12-20-2009, 11:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SW_PA_Couple

Got some news for you. Until you two tie the knot, or at minimum announce to the world your engagement, she's free to see or sent text messages to any man she wants. If you really want her for yourself, you'd better work a little harder to win her over.

~Michael

Eh?

I dated my wife for several years, and I wouldn't have stood for anything like this, ring or no.

Truly I think the Fuse is onto something here. I find the OP to be acting quite subservient, and no one in their right mind would believe the 'just friends' line while they play sleep over.

controlledbygf · 12-20-2009, 11:40 PM

I didnt believe it either but she drilled into into my head she wasnt doin anything, and it cause alota fights and almost breakups.

But from what this all caused and to what it has to do with this forum is it got me into shareing. The lieing and decieving no but is there some way i can recover this relationship

Additude · 12-21-2009, 07:00 AM

Quote:

So what do i do?

Question is, what DO YOU want to do?

Apparently it bothers you that she see's her ex all the time. Thats why your posting here. Her behavoir as you have explained is not normal. Her and yours relationship, in the terms you have explaind it, is dysfunctional.

Please answer these two questions in your own words:

1. There is a reason you want to stay with her while she is behaving like this. What is that reason you want to be subject to this treatment; Do you have some prior agreement with your GF that this type of behavoir and conduct on her part is acceptable?

2. Why does your GF keep you around? Is it maybe Money? Security?, Your Sub behavoir?, what? What is it? And then ask yourself if the answer to this question is enough of a reason to keep you attached to her.

Cpl2share · 12-21-2009, 07:03 AM

Either you are too dumb to tie your own shoes or you are a cuck. No way around it. She is screwing him. She is lying to you. This is not swinging. You are being used. Are you paying her rent? Her other bills? What is she getting from you? Since no one knows that you two are dating, what makes YOU think that you are dating?

Gordo · 12-21-2009, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by controlledbygf

I didnt believe it either but she drilled into into my head she wasnt doin anything, and it cause alota fights and almost breakups.

But from what this all caused and to what it has to do with this forum is it got me into shareing. The lieing and decieving no but is there some way i can recover this relationship

Reach down between your legs and see if you can still find those things called balls and WALK AWAY.

You'll find out where you stand pretty fast.

Unless of course the other writers are right and this is what you want down deep.

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12-20-2009, 08:41 PM	#1 (permalink)
controlledbygf Registered Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 4 Location: ca Status: couple	My gf is still seeing her ex bf all the time Hi all, first off im a 20yr old male dateing a 20 year old female. Weve been together a year and a half now. So my situation is my gf has been and is still seeing or with her ex bf all the time. Texting, calling, lunches, diners, breakfast, everything. She sleeps at his house and he at hers. Most of her friends and his friends including some of mine think their dateing and know nothing of me and her. She doesnt tell me when she sees him and keeps their conversations private. When I ask her whats going on between the two of them she says nothing their just friends... So what do i do?

12-20-2009, 09:18 PM	#2 (permalink)
25YearOldMaleNJ Registered User Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 2 Location: NJ Status: Single male	Re: My gf is still seeing her ex bf all the time first off, you need to ask her about it. Trust and communication are most important. But at our young age (and you even younger than I), I believe it's just young individuals wanting to have fun. I don't want to ever assume what's going on, but red flags got thrown in the air with pretty much every single thing you said. Even if they aren't doing anything sexually, that's just an out-of-ordinary situation. Not to throw a curve ball, but I'm curious why you're posting this question on a swingers website. have you in the past included her ex-bf in some fun? Regardless, I believe the first thing you need to do is sit down and talk with her. Trust me, if it doesn't work out with her, you WILL find another girl...and she will treat you with the respect that you deserve.

12-20-2009, 09:30 PM	#3 (permalink)
controlledbygf Registered Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 4 Location: ca Status: couple	Re: My gf is still seeing her ex bf all the time Im posting it on swingers because i have let her enjoy another female before and swingings been a intrest of mine i just dunno how id feel when it came to it. I know they flirt/ talk about sex and stuff. I used to take her to his place all the time and take her to see him. I even let her go with him on halloween where she was dressed up in practicaly nothing and as he picked her up he gave her a glance over and smacked her ass and she bent over for another one.

12-20-2009, 09:32 PM	#4 (permalink)
The Fuse Way too opinionated Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 1,826 Location: Southeastern Virginia Status: Single Female Swing Lifestyle Name:The_Fuse	Re: My gf is still seeing her ex bf all the time Your posts and your screen name scream "cuckold" to me. I think you think she is cheating on you, and that you like it. Posting here about it and getting people to comment is part of the thrill for you. Perhaps? Perhaps not. But that's what it sounds like to me.
	__________________ Through every dead and living thing, Time runs, like a fuse. -- Jackson Browne

12-20-2009, 09:36 PM	#5 (permalink)
controlledbygf Registered Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 4 Location: ca Status: couple	Re: My gf is still seeing her ex bf all the time Im not sure what cuckold is but Im not trying to get a thrill but more of iv never talked to anyone about this and didnt know who to go to. I do think shes cheating and infact she has before but we talked and got over it. I wanna bring this up to her but when i do she just denies everything and im to chicken shit to tell her about swaping or anything of that nature

12-20-2009, 09:40 PM	#6 (permalink)
25YearOldMaleNJ Registered User Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 2 Location: NJ Status: Single male	Re: My gf is still seeing her ex bf all the time Honestly, if you are really interested in swapping or any swinging, it doesn't seem like this is the right relationship to be doing so anyways. If you believe she is cheating on you, and she is downright flirting with her ex, I wouldn't start a swinging relationship with her. Plus, if you do decide to tell her, she may take advantage of that open door and just cheat on you endlessly. I would suggest you talk with her about what she is currently doing to you. At this point, I am not sure if swinging is the best avenue for your relationship. Maybe I'm wrong? I'm not the very experienced one here like so many others on this site. Hopefully some others can chime in.

12-20-2009, 09:45 PM	#7 (permalink)
ALilOEverything A Little Of Everything Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 1,847 Location: Michigan Status: M. Female Swing Lifestyle Name:aliloeverything	Re: My gf is still seeing her ex bf all the time How do you even know she's broke up him? It sounds like she's still with the other guy and you're the guy she's cheating with. Run away, why get wrapped up in a relationship where you don't even know where you stand.
	__________________ ~Lilo

12-20-2009, 11:06 PM	#8 (permalink)
SW_PA_Couple Julie's Helper Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 4,680 Location: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania Status: a very married man Swing Lifestyle Name:SW_PA_Couple	Re: My gf is still seeing her ex bf all the time Got some news for you. Until you two tie the knot, or at minimum announce to the world your engagement, she's free to see or sent text messages to any man she wants. If you really want her for yourself, you'd better work a little harder to win her over. ~Michael
	__________________ Living in Schrödinger's Cathouse

12-20-2009, 11:40 PM	#10 (permalink)
controlledbygf Registered Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 4 Location: ca Status: couple	Re: My gf is still seeing her ex bf all the time I didnt believe it either but she drilled into into my head she wasnt doin anything, and it cause alota fights and almost breakups. But from what this all caused and to what it has to do with this forum is it got me into shareing. The lieing and decieving no but is there some way i can recover this relationship

12-21-2009, 07:03 AM	#12 (permalink)
Cpl2share Is it too cold for beer? Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 344 Location: Way up north. Status: Couple	Re: My gf is still seeing her ex bf all the time Either you are too dumb to tie your own shoes or you are a cuck. No way around it. She is screwing him. She is lying to you. This is not swinging. You are being used. Are you paying her rent? Her other bills? What is she getting from you? Since no one knows that you two are dating, what makes YOU think that you are dating?

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