Who makes the descisions, and how would you describe yourselves...

[warrencouple]

So, a posting by Chicup in the "Swinging:Whose, Male or Female Half of a Couple's Fantasy Is It?" poll got me thinking, and that always leads to curiosity...

He states that in every relationship, there is one "dominant" member, one who tends to make the decisions, while the other member typically will have "absolute veto" power.

Now, this also got me to wondering, out of the two members (sorry to the poly members!) how would each member describe themselves:
1. Extroverted - an outgoing, gregarious person. / a person characterized by extroversion; a person concerned primarily with the physical and social environment
2. Introverted - a shy person. / a person characterized by concern primarily with his or her own thoughts and feelings

I'm using the definitions from Dictionary.com, so if you don't like them, sorry.

So, my question is, who in your relationship is the "dominant" one. The second question, would be, which of you are extroverts, and which introverts. So please, when answering the poll, only choose one from each block of four.

Thank you for indulging my curiosity!
Jason

[warrencouple]

Now for my response! Between my wife and I, I would say we are both rather introverted, perhaps me more than her. I tend to "turtle up" in social groups, and while she's not as comfortable, she's also not the near complete wallflower I am. Or so it seems to me...

As for decision making, little things especially tend to be "what do you want to do, I dunno, what do you want to do" sort of conversations...

Big decisions, tend to be, I think, a bit of both of us. But even then, it tends to take a while.

Jason

[xxxboxy]

Mrsxxxboxy and I make decisions jointly, and we're both equally likely to propose a course of action for discussion. We don't dither around on making decisions and once it's made we follow through. Each has absolute veto power over lifestyle related things and we have each exercised our vetoes in the past so we know it's not a theoretical ability.

She is extroverted, can talk to anyone about anything at any time. I am more introverted but have learned to be a social chameleon. I wouldn't describe myself as shy, but rather as being reserved.

[exploringRM]

The categories are a little difficult to match in all situations. And even though we mostly share the decisions, my wife is more forward than I. I'm not shy, but am just a little more quiet.

I do most of the online contact with friends, checking out parties, locals m&g postings, etc. So I usually suggest what we should do. But we decide together on what's up. But there are occasions where she brings up going to a particular club for the coming weekend.

[warrencouple]

Originally Posted by exploringRM

The categories are a little difficult to match in all situations. And even though we mostly share the decisions, my wife is more forward than I. I'm not shy, but am just a little more quiet.

I do most of the online contact with friends, checking out parties, locals m&g postings, etc. So I usually suggest what we should do. But we decide together on what's up. But there are occasions where she brings up going to a particular club for the coming weekend.

True, I know the categories won't *exactly* fit everyone, I'm more looking for just a general overview.

I'd think that in order to have sufficient "nuances" to cover the majority of levels of introversion / extroversion / decision making, we'd have one of those 150+ possible reply polls.

Jason

[NCfuncouple98]

I can't really vote either.

Are you talking about just within swinging or life in general? Because believe it or not they can be quite different.

I (Mrs) am definitely dominant when it comes to normal life. Things around the house, bill paying, plans, etc. But when it comes to swinging? I prefer he be the dominant one.

[SW_PA_Couple]

:whistle: Stop the play. Stop the game clock. Illegal procedure. Five-yard penalty.

I think it is more then semantics. People in a relationship do not have to dominate or submit. Domination and submission do not relate to swinging activities.

Did you really mean to ask who typically takes the lead in a social situation? JoAnn looks to me to take the lead. But I have no trouble about the times when she takes the lead. On those occasions when we are both leading, we are still playing as a team. We are at our worst when we wallow in indecision.

Domination and submission have their proper place -- in the dungeon. The minute you emerge from the dungeon, you are back into the mode of socializing.

~Michael

[warrencouple]

Yes, I guess the semantics don't quite come through here...

When I use dominant, I'm not using it in the way you would refer to a D/s relationship, but more as in "predominant; main; major; chief" sort of definition. As in the person who tends to make (or finalize) a decision.

As for whether this is within the context of swinging, or life in general, yes.

I was sort of expecting the general responses to trend towards one person in the relationship being the decision maker, all around, but it's sounding like that may not be the case.

Hmm...

Not sure what to do with this poll, now, then...
Jason

[fun4Ds]

I make the decisions, when she lets me.

Not sure how to vote ? All of the above, depending on the moment ?

I'm of coarse, extroverted.... I make quick, snap decisions, in work and life (I have to) In swinging, I need to be leashed.

Mrsfun is on the sly side, kind of quite....

Piss her off though and you'll see extroverted, real quick like.

[LFM2]

Originally Posted by NCfuncouple98

I (Mrs) am definitely dominant when it comes to normal life. Things around the house, bill paying, plans, etc. But when it comes to swinging? I prefer he be the dominant one.

This would be us as well. I've always been the dominant one when it comes to household stuff. Making decisions from what appliances we're going to buy to what the carpet will look like. I highly doubt Dave could give a damn about that stuff, or if he does, he hasn't said anything in 25 years.

OTOH, Dave does a lot of looking for couples and I prefer that. We both have veto power, but the decision to contact them and set up "dates" are his.