Can a man be friends with an attractive woman...

xxxboxy · 10-19-2009, 10:01 PM

..without wanting to fuck her? Discuss.

Chicup · 10-19-2009, 10:05 PM

Can?

I suppose if the man were say gay, or was completely sexually sated by a bevy of women he finds attractive.

Otherwise I'd say no.

Looking4uwithus · 10-19-2009, 10:27 PM

LOL, it depends on the woman. The ball is in her court. If she does not like you, you cant be friends with her no matter how much you want to be.

slevin · 10-19-2009, 11:08 PM

Nope, I can't. If I find her attractive then I'm going to want to fuck her.

VegasLee · 10-19-2009, 11:52 PM

I guess it may be an old dude thing.

I have some absolutely beautiful lady friends that I really enjoy time with, looking at them but don't wish to have sex with them. Have known some of them for years.

One is a well known entertainer here in Vegas. She is gorgeous! She dresses very sexy. Love our time together but having sex with her has not been a thought.

It may be the friend factor.... found over the years that I don't tend to have or want to have sex with friends.

**SW_PA_Couple** · 10-20-2009, 04:58 AM

I will assume, for the sake of this discussion, that when you say beautiful you mean fashionably attractive such as is a high-fashion model or a movie starlet.

In Alistair Cooke's book Six Men, he quotes Charlie Chaplin as saying that a man sizes, at least for an instant, every woman he sees for how she would fit into his bed. I believe Charlie is right about this. There are, incidentally, very few women I have encountered whom I thought ugly.

Rockon · 10-20-2009, 05:43 AM

I work with a very attractive lady, the more I am around her the less I am attracted to her. Her personality has everything to do with the non attraction thing, she still looks very hot

TheLorax · 10-20-2009, 08:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SW_PA_Couple

I will assume, for the sake of this discussion, that when you say beautiful you mean fashionably attractive such as is a high-fashion model or a movie starlet.

In Alistair Cooke's book Six Men, he quotes Charlie Chaplin as saying that a man sizes, at least for an instant, every woman he sees for how she would fit into his bed. I believe Charlie is right about this. There are, incidentally, very few women I have encountered whom I thought ugly.

The OP actually said "attractive" which to me means if I am the person evaluating, then I am the person finding them attractive.

Can I? Sure, I have and do. Not often though. The thing is, what I find attractive has a lot to do with what is in the mind and how that shows through in the physical sense. I've been with gorgeous women who were ugly inside and from a distance they looked great, and in bed they were great until I got to know them enough to find what was inside their heads to be a major turn-off. I currently have a couple of very attractive female friends who I'd never want to take to bed for a variety of reasons, mostly having to do with the fact that doing so would screw up great friendships.

I'm also going to take a contrarian point of view to, in that I find a lot of women ugly. Any trip through Walmart can confirm that. While my attraction to someone is only based maybe 10% on their looks, what I find ugly is a whole other dimension. People who obviously don't care about their body (and I'm not talking about a few pounds over or underweight, or skin blemishes or anything like that), whose whole attitude is "me me me me", the ones I see out in public waddling around with a cigarette dangling out of their mouths, yelling at their horde of kids who aren't paying any attention, those women are ugly. Doesn't matter how much they weigh or how much facial hair they have. Women who are sweetness and light when they are seeking or getting what they want, but who turn dark and vindictive when they don't. Those are ugly too.

I find maybe 1 in 3 women attractive at a glance, which means I find 2 out of 3 ugly at that same range. Out of that 1 in 3 I might find 10% attractive upon getting to know them. Out of the 2 out of 3 of the group I find ugly at a distance, I might find 1% of those attractive if I get to know them better.

curiousagain · 10-20-2009, 09:46 AM

Having found that a good friendship is a lot tougher to find than a sex partner and having lost a couple of good female friends because we started having sex and they were unable to keep it NSA, I certainly can.

In the past, I couldn't have, but life experience changes you. I value friendship more than sex now. Not because I'm any less in to sex or less horny but because I am more experienced and hopefully a little wiser.

I suppose if you could be absolutely sure that the sex wouldn't change the relationship it would be difficult not to want to have sex with her. But, if you think it would screw up the friendship then you don't want to even think about going there. Therefore the sexual attraction goes away. You still realize and appreciate their attractiveness but you don't want to risk the friendship.

SecretAsianMan · 10-20-2009, 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxxboxy

..without wanting to fuck her? Discuss.

In certain situations ... yes, I've been friends with some VERY attractive / beautiful women whom I've never wanted to fuck.

(1) The woman was in a monogamous relationship with one of my very good friends - and out of respect for them, I've never even thought of her as a sexual partner.

(2) The woman was the daughter of a gal I used to date... when you first meet her and she's only 12 years old. You tend to still see that little girl and not view her as an object of sexual desire

and lastly...

(3) The woman is totally bat-shit crazy and you wouldn't fuck her with a stolen cock! I mean... you've seen her around for a while and think she's totally smokin' hot - but you've also seen how emotionally unstable and completely nuts she can be. And to plug yourself into that kind of drama just isn't worth the train-wreck you'll experience at the end of that ride!

bbarnsworth · 10-20-2009, 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SecretAsianMan

(3) The woman is totally bat-shit crazy and you wouldn't fuck her with a stolen cock! I mean... you've seen her around for a while and think she's totally smokin' hot - but you've also seen how emotionally unstable and completely nuts she can be. And to plug yourself into that kind of drama just isn't worth the train-wreck you'll experience at the end of that ride!

Ah, but the question asks if you can be friends with her without wanting to fuck her? Would you want to be friends with someone who is emotionally unstable and completely nuts?

SecretAsianMan · 10-20-2009, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bbarnsworth

Ah, but the question asks if you can be friends with her without wanting to fuck her? Would you want to be friends with someone who is emotionally unstable and completely nuts?

Umm... yeah. Actually yes. In fact, I have several friends who qualify under the title "emotional unstable and completely nuts" -- not really close friends, but certainly close enough that we share many of the same friends & have similiar interests.

exploringRM · 10-20-2009, 09:20 PM

Any trip through Walmart can confirm that.

A little off topic but www.peopleofwalmart.com

exploringRM · 10-20-2009, 09:24 PM

My read on the OP is not if you WOULD fuck her, just would you want to. The thought would cross my mind many times! So I say for me, no I could not be friends with an attractive women without the thought of her naked in my bed crossing my mind. Perhaps a little less now as since swinging I do get to live out a bit of a fantasy life!

norcalcouple · 10-20-2009, 10:05 PM

Not for me

Some become annoying after a while and then I change my mind.

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10-19-2009, 10:01 PM	#1 (permalink)
xxxboxy Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 360 Location: Near Seattle Status: Male half of couple Swing Lifestyle Name:xxxboxy	Can a man be friends with an attractive woman... ..without wanting to fuck her? Discuss.

10-19-2009, 10:05 PM	#2 (permalink)
Chicup Not a potential *** Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 4,093 Location: Under the bed Status: Tired	Re: Can a man be friends with an attractive woman... Can? I suppose if the man were say gay, or was completely sexually sated by a bevy of women he finds attractive. Otherwise I'd say no.

10-19-2009, 10:27 PM	#3 (permalink)
Looking4uwithus Registered Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 8 Location: Alberta Canada Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:Looking4uwithus	Re: Can a man be friends with an attractive woman... LOL, it depends on the woman. The ball is in her court. If she does not like you, you cant be friends with her no matter how much you want to be.

10-19-2009, 11:08 PM	#4 (permalink)
slevin Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 1,215 Location: Toronto Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:sk_forfun	Re: Can a man be friends with an attractive woman... Nope, I can't. If I find her attractive then I'm going to want to fuck her.

10-19-2009, 11:52 PM	#5 (permalink)
VegasLee Laura's Male Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 1,951 Location: Las Vegas, Nevada Status: Laura's Male	Re: Can a man be friends with an attractive woman... I guess it may be an old dude thing. I have some absolutely beautiful lady friends that I really enjoy time with, looking at them but don't wish to have sex with them. Have known some of them for years. One is a well known entertainer here in Vegas. She is gorgeous! She dresses very sexy. Love our time together but having sex with her has not been a thought. It may be the friend factor.... found over the years that I don't tend to have or want to have sex with friends.
	__________________ You all laugh at me because I am different. I laugh at all of you because you are all the same.

10-20-2009, 04:58 AM	#6 (permalink)
SW_PA_Couple Julie's Helper Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 4,680 Location: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania Status: a very married man Swing Lifestyle Name:SW_PA_Couple	Re: Can a man be friends with an attractive woman... I will assume, for the sake of this discussion, that when you say beautiful you mean fashionably attractive such as is a high-fashion model or a movie starlet. In Alistair Cooke's book Six Men, he quotes Charlie Chaplin as saying that a man sizes, at least for an instant, every woman he sees for how she would fit into his bed. I believe Charlie is right about this. There are, incidentally, very few women I have encountered whom I thought ugly.
	__________________ Living in Schrödinger's Cathouse

10-20-2009, 05:43 AM	#7 (permalink)
Rockon Here to Stay Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 81 Location: Traveling to a town near you Status: s Male	Re: Can a man be friends with an attractive woman... I work with a very attractive lady, the more I am around her the less I am attracted to her. Her personality has everything to do with the non attraction thing, she still looks very hot

10-20-2009, 09:46 AM	#9 (permalink)
curiousagain A gentleman never tells Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 2,131 Location: Southeastern USA Status: half of a couple	Re: Can a man be friends with an attractive woman... Having found that a good friendship is a lot tougher to find than a sex partner and having lost a couple of good female friends because we started having sex and they were unable to keep it NSA, I certainly can. In the past, I couldn't have, but life experience changes you. I value friendship more than sex now. Not because I'm any less in to sex or less horny but because I am more experienced and hopefully a little wiser. I suppose if you could be absolutely sure that the sex wouldn't change the relationship it would be difficult not to want to have sex with her. But, if you think it would screw up the friendship then you don't want to even think about going there. Therefore the sexual attraction goes away. You still realize and appreciate their attractiveness but you don't want to risk the friendship.
	__________________ Why is it we can pleasure ourselves but not tickle ourselves? Last edited by curiousagain; 10-20-2009 at 09:51 AM. Reason: added a bit.

10-20-2009, 09:20 PM	#13 (permalink)
exploringRM Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 850 Location: York, PA Status: Couple - he posts/reads Swing Lifestyle Name:hereforfunrm	Re: Can a man be friends with an attractive woman... Any trip through Walmart can confirm that. A little off topic but www.peopleofwalmart.com

10-20-2009, 09:24 PM	#14 (permalink)
exploringRM Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 850 Location: York, PA Status: Couple - he posts/reads Swing Lifestyle Name:hereforfunrm	Re: Can a man be friends with an attractive woman... My read on the OP is not if you WOULD fuck her, just would you want to. The thought would cross my mind many times! So I say for me, no I could not be friends with an attractive women without the thought of her naked in my bed crossing my mind. Perhaps a little less now as since swinging I do get to live out a bit of a fantasy life!

10-20-2009, 10:05 PM	#15 (permalink)
norcalcouple Here to Stay Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 13 Location: nor cal Status: married	Re: Can a man be friends with an attractive woman... Not for me Some become annoying after a while and then I change my mind.

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