MILF Defined

[CXXC]

First I would like to apologize if I have placed this thread in the wrong area. I just could not see where it would fit. So, in the general threads it went.

I am sitting in a bar stool at my favorite watering hole Saturday evening with a dear friend. We are enjoying the evening of drinks, laughter, camaraderie and fun. an associate of mine sees us and decides to join us. In tow is a woman I have never met.

We are all introduced to one another. This woman happens to be on her 3rd date with my associate. She is in her late thirties. A few extra pounds and a tad frumpy for my tastes.

She excused herself to use the restroom. While she was away from the table, my associate looks to me and boldly states, "Now that is some MILF! Huh?"

I could not help but ask who he was talking about as I had not noticed anyone of MILF caliber at the time. He points to the empty seat beside himself and mentions her name.

I believe I have warned you about this part of me, I say what most people think. I do everything I can not to tell a falsehood. I simply had to answer is query.

I told him that I did not find her attractive. I found her to be frumpy and in no way would I consider her a MILF.

You would have thought I spit in his beer or something. He sat there stewing over my opinion for 10 minutes. He didn’t say a word when she returned. They just sat there silently. He quickly finished his beer, paid his tab and left. He didn’t say a single word of goodbye to me.

This got me thinking. Is there a standardized definition of the term MILF? This would help us all get on the same page. If we have a standard for a MILF, situations like my associate and I would not happen.

I even told him, "You may LIKE to fuck her, but I would not. That is all I am saying!"

What defines a MILF to you?

[rpu3]

MILF to me is nothing more to me than "Mother I'd Like to Fuck". Emphasis on "I'd" all mine, as it's who I'd like to fuck and I'm not speaking for anyone else. There are going to be a gazillion definitions of "MILF", since it's rightly a personal matter.

That being said, I hope your associate got over it, or will in time. I would have been quite stunned to hear that. I'm not much of a liar, but I'd figure out something to say to save another's feelings. Kind of hard for Mr. Associate to save face or the like after that one.

[bicuriocpl]

I would have said that I make a policy not to comment on my friend's women. If he pushed further I'd say that it causes hard feelings and its not worth risking a friendship over.

[Dave_kat]

CXXC, it's a shame we never met while Dave was still in Savannah.

The only thing we could possibly add to this is that we all have our tastes, and if someone puts himself out there like that, either one of us would have felt obliged to tell him the same thing ourselves.

As far as a MILF goes, it's just like bisexuality or soft swing or any of the other terms people use. The definition is in the eye of the beholder. She may not be to your taste, but if she's in your bud's taste, then heck, it's all good for him.

[CXXC]

I never say things to hurt or cut people down. However, I do say what I am thinking. and I didn’t find her attractive.

OH! I should mention that this associate goes through women like I go through socks. He is dating a new one every month. He has not set standards either. If he would just stick with one long enough......

I do see your point. A bit more tact should be used. But I have so little time to say so much in my job, I am not in the habit of softening it first. I will try tho!

You are NOT the first to say that. But thanks.

Back to the MILF issues. I know that it stands for Mom I'd like to fuck. But there are moms I would like to that you would not and the other way around. This is also the cause of my associates issue with me. I DON'T want to fuck her. He does. How am I in the wrong?

ACK! I crave standardization, convention and labels.

[rpu3]

This got me thinking. Is there a standardized definition of the term MILF? This would help us all get on the same page. If we have a standard for a MILF, situations like my associate and I would not happen.

and

Back to the MILF issues. I know that it stands for Mom I'd like to fuck. But there are moms I would like to that you would not and the other way around. This is also the cause of my associates issue with me. I DON'T want to fuck her. He does. How am I in the wrong?

Your original question was if there was a standardized definition. I don't believe there is one, since the key word is "I'd", not "we". As such, I don't believe it's an issue of right or wrong, IMO, just because he'd like to fuck her and you didn't feel the same. The problem with your associate, more likely than not, is that you stated your opinion rather bluntly. You probably surprised the shit out of him, and maybe even hurt his feelings, etc. I doubt he was expecting such a response, when most likely just turn such a comment into something else, like, "She seems nice. Glad you seem to like her." etc.

Just my penny.

[CXXC]

Originally Posted by bicuriocpl

I would have said that I make a policy not to comment on my friend's women. If he pushed further I'd say that it causes hard feelings and its not worth risking a friendship over.

It would be SO MUCH eaiser AND nicer if people would stop asking my opinion!!!! I expect that they want honesty! How foolish of me!

[LikeMinds321]

The more important question to be asked in your thread is NOT "what is the definition of MILF." The bigger issue is your reply to your friend's comment and whether your response was appropriate.

Turn this story around. Imagine your wife had headed to the restroom, and while gone you make a comment about how sexy and hot you think your wife is. Now imagine getting a response from your buddy that was like yours. Ouch!!!

I think you fucked up.

There are times when it's better NOT to share what you think.

LM

[Dave_kat]

Originally Posted by CXXC

I do see your point. A bit more tact should be used. But I have so little time to say so much in my job, I am not in the habit of softening it first. I will try tho!

You are NOT the first to say that. But thanks.

Dang, we're supposed to make everyone happy and lie about what we think when asked? Is that how this works?

Heck, if you'd have agreed she was a MILF, would he have sat there and wondered if you were going to try to steal her away?

Dave's friends know he's a smartass and will give them stupid answers to stupid questions.. But that takes some getting used to. If he's known you a long time, shame on him for asking you for his own validation. In other words, it's his fault for asking a question and not liking the answer and getting upset

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by CXXC

I never say things to hurt or cut people down. However, I do say what I am thinking. and I didn’t find her attractive.

OH! I should mention that this associate goes through women like I go through socks. He is dating a new one every month. He has not set standards either. If he would just stick with one long enough......

This helps me understand your relationship more. He's no friend, from the sound of it.

I think you probably have had enough of him and did want to jab him in the side...just a bit? Hey, I understand the feeling of having had enough of the shit some people keep dishing out, and this guy sounds like he has little respect for women, they are probably only a thing, a sex object, to make himself feel like he's more potent and manly. He's just a braggart, right?

Now that you told me more, I say damn good call! Tell this asshole guy what you think!

How quickly my mind can change with more information.

LM

[slevin]

I think it's all about the delivery. Consider the difference between:

"I don't find her attractive at all. She's frumpy, a bit plain and definitely not a MILF to me"

and

"She's not really my type."

Conveys the same message, is honest, but is also less hurtful to hear. Anyone coming right out and saying something like your friend did is coming from a place of needing validation. He's likely an insecure guy deep down and was looking for affirmation of his prowess at attracting desirable women. If he is constantly going from one woman to the next he obviously feels that is an important dynamic to being a man. So your honest assessment was extra painful I suspect.

I try to avoid those situations, while still being truthful. A friend of mine recently showed me a picture of the "hot" woman he had just started seeing. She was quite unattractive to me, but she had great tits in the picture. Rather than be honest that I didn't find her attractive, or lie that I though she was hot, I commented on her chest.

"Wow, those are some incredible tits!", and the conversation can move on I hate the current trend of constant positivity, but sometimes it's easier to find something positive to say about the situation (and tell the truth) than to be brutally honest. Although, if you really are brutally honest, any close friends or acquaintances should know better than to ask a question they don't want to hear the answer to

[sweet_tna]

I have a pesky tendency to speak my mind, too. My friends have learned not to ask my opinion unless they're prepared to hear the unvarnished truth.

That said, I don't think there is a MILF "standard". It's one of those "eye of the beholder" things. Would it be easier if there were a standard? Maybe, but life would be a lot less interesting if we all liked the same things.

=)

[bbarnsworth]

In the case described by CXXC, I think MILF stands for "Mother of Incredibly Lackluster Fucking"



That said, I'm less direct. I think I would have said "If she sets your wick on fire, I'm happy for you".

[CXXC]

WOW! I never thought this thread would turn into a debate on speaking ones mind. Thank everyone. I have been told this in the past MANY times by those close to me. However, in my defense, I would rather hear what someone is REALLY thinking than receive a platitude.

A little more info on this guy perhaps.

He is not a bad guy all around. He is immature (for a man his age, he should be more considerate). He does not treat women well at all. I guess you could say he uses them then tosses them tot he side. He is he is like this with everyone. He will not associate with you unless he has something to gain from the association.

He is socially inept in many ways. He sees you sitting, eating lunch somewhere, he will walk up, take a seat and start eating off your plate. (He did that once to me. He does not do that again.)

He can be funny. He is really good with his kids. He is actually pretty smart. Women do find him attractive. He does date a lot of women.

So, I just let him have it with both barrels. I don’t hold back at all.

I am not so forward with EVERYONE. I would be dead if that were the case. When Mrs. CXXC puts on a pair of pants that are a tad tight and asks me if they make her look fat, I do not say YES or tell her that THEY don’t make her look fat, the FRIDGE makes her look fat! I tell her they look a little tight. I have learned a thing or too. But that takes such effort!

HOWEVER, for the most part, I am honest and speak my mind.

[bbarnsworth]

A woman asking her husband if X makes her look fat places her husband in a no-win situation. There's no way a man can answer that without getting in trouble

In this case, MILF means "Man, I'm Losing Fast"