Please.. I need help with writing my Psychology paper...

[RANDJ4FUN]

I am studying to be a nurse and I have a psychology paper to write about "happily married" couples that requires a minimum of 10 couples. I don't want to ask my friends to help because it makes me feel like I'm putting them on the spot. I only need replies to these general questions.

A. How many years have you been married? In your opinion, what is the secret to a happy marriage? (THE most important factor?)
B. What are the most important characteristics in a potential mate?
C. What would you consider "red flags" in a relationship?

Since I am listing The Swinger's Board and other swinger sites for reference you may freely discuss swinging if you feel it applies or contributes to your marriage. Please...since this is only about married couples only married couples should reply no matter how great your live-in situation may be.
Hope to have the pleasure of hearing from you. It is always wonderful to hear and share stories about happily married couples; swinger or vanilla.
Russ

[SW_PA_Couple]

Secret? What secret?

Rule 1: The woman is always right.
Rule 2: When the woman is wrong, refer to Rule 1.

A. Eleven
B. Mutual attraction and the ability to renew the relationship every day using whatever means are effective, sex being one of the most useful.
C. To many days in succession that are lacking in meaningful communication.

Sex, by the way, goes a long way toward preventing "C".

~Michael

[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by RANDJ4FUN

B. What are the most important characteristics in a potential mate?

Are you refering to swinging playmates ?

[willyoats]

A) 45 years married; 40 years since first partner outside of marriage.

Vital: Open communication and willingness to compromise.
Somewhat less important: similarity of backgrounds, e.g., religion, socio-economic status growing up, etc.

B) Flexibility and adaptablility to new or changing conditions, since bad (or just difficult) things are going to happen, e.g., conflicting job opportunities, mandatory moves for career advancement, etc.
Sense of humor and sense of proportion about problems that arise. Willingess to make lemonade out of the lemons life throws at you. A sense of operating as a team, not as individuals hell bent on maintaining independence.

C) Very different attitudes about money. One borrows and spends without thinking about how to pay it back and the other was raised to pay off the credit card bills every month. Also tendency to uncontrolled temper.

[RANDJ4FUN]

Originally Posted by fun4Ds

Are you refering to swinging playmates ?

Thanks for asking.
This is only about "happily married couple" relationships. It is for a two page double-spaced paper I need to write.
This is only about your relationship with your spouse. If you consider swinging to fit some of the questions then you may answer so.
Again, thanks.
Russ

[RANDJ4FUN]

Originally Posted by SW_PA_Couple

Secret? What secret?

Rule 1: The woman is always right.
Rule 2: When the woman is wrong, refer to Rule 1.


~Michael

LOL. Doesn't answer my survey questions but definately the two rules I live by.
Russ

[LFM2]

Hi Russ. Congrats on the nursing school thing. I'm glad that I didn't have to do any of these psych papers when I was going to nursing school.


A. How many years have you been married? In your opinion, what is the secret to a happy marriage? (THE most important factor?)
We've been married for 25 years this year. Our secret to a happy marriage is still communication. We went through a rough patch quite a few years ago, and it over not talking things out. We seriously contemplated divorce. Now that I look back, it was sooooooo silly and I really don't remember what the primary problem was because it went on for soooooooo long. It was seriously stupid.

B. What are the most important characteristics in a potential mate?
A sense of humor, intelligence, honesty and integrity.

C. What would you consider "red flags" in a relationship?
I have to go back to the communication thing. Poor communication in relationships are like death. I truly believe you can overcome almost anything if you can communicate like adults -- including money problems, relationship misunderstandings, etc.

[Trace Ekies]

Russ,

We offer the following:

A. How many years have you been married?

17 married, together 20.

In your opinion, what is the secret to a happy marriage? (THE most important factor?)

Communicating like adults.

B. What are the most important characteristics in a potential mate?

Level-headedness (is that a word?), trustworthy and someone you want
to be with.

C. What would you consider "red flags" in a relationship?

Jealousy issues, trust issues when not warranted and dependency.


Good luck,

Trace and Mrs. Ekies

[cocpl2007]

I love SW_PA_Couple's "Secrets"... a big Ditto! (at least in our swinging life)

Otherwise:


A. How many years have you been married? Seven


In your opinion, what is the secret to a happy marriage? (THE most important factor?)

Lust, Companionship, and Communication

B. What are the most important characteristics in a potential mate?

Intelligence, Health, Ambition, Family, and it sure doesn't hurt if she has a penchant for taking good care of herself

C. What would you consider "red flags" in a relationship?

argumentativeness, no longer respecting & cherishing our relationship or each other, jealousy

[exploringRM]

A. How many years have you been married? In your opinion, what is the secret to a happy marriage? (THE most important factor?)

almost 26 years. As others have stated I think communication is the most important.

B. What are the most important characteristics in a potential mate?

Putting up with me! Similar interests, sense of humor, attractiveness

C. What would you consider "red flags" in a relationship?

Mistrust, too much dependency i.e. living for your mate.

[PB&J]

A. How many years have you been married? In your opinion, what is the secret to a happy marriage? (THE most important factor?)
21 years. The secret is being able to be friends as well as lovers.

B. What are the most important characteristics in a potential mate?
The ability to laugh at oneself. Generosity of spirit.

C. What would you consider "red flags" in a relationship?
Inability to talk about things. Spending too much time apart without any good reason.

[lou lou]

A 17 years
B communication and hard work, you have to work to make a marriage work.it take both of you to do this.
C jealousy and selfishness

[Doug19482000]

A. married 40 years
B. Give in. If you think your giving in to his wants, needs and opinions 90% of the time and he thinks he's the one that lets her have her way that often then you got a chance. Also a women needs to hear that he loves her. You can't just show her. A man needs to be shown. They are visual creatures. Never ever criticies in front of others especially family. Pretend your 16 and head over heals in love. After a couple of minutes pretending your no longer pretending, you are
C. You no longer wish to make the other happy or vice verse.

[girdwood821]

Ok...Married in 1989. Most part...still happy. Key is compromise and never staying mad.
Both sets of parents have been married for over 50 years. Great examples! Some things should be just left alone. She knows this excites me and leaves me alone to wonder through the net. Wish she would explore more sexually with me. But she wont and that's that!

[LFM2]

I have an addendum to my post... In the first question. Secrets to a happy marriage: One of the things that I should have mentioned was the day after we married, we moved 150 miles away from our families. We had nobody to depend on but each other. We didn't move closer to our families for several years. By this time, our marriage was pretty solid. No communication, obviously, but pretty solid. This is one of those reasons we also believe gave us a strong marriage which of course to us is a happy marriage.