To text message or not, and why?

[Willing29]

I saw some folks talking about this in another thread and figured it deserved it's own thread.
There were some who said they have never and will never text due to specific reasons and then there were some who said they did it regularly. I was just wondering what everyone's views were on this one. As for me I do it occasionally, since sometimes it's the only way to reach out to our kids. Other times it's just fun with my wife. As far as not being a valid means of communication which is accepted such as e-mail or phone, what's the difference? It is basically the same as an e-mail w/o the addresses or overhead involved in a mail program. I can understand that some older folks might not feel comfortable using text but then again my 82 year old father is not comfortable using a computer (PC) so he doesn't. It's a personal preference. I also can't see how you can say stuff that you wouldn't say over e-mail or the phone (if you said it, you said it!).

[JustAskJulie]

We use text.. actually we both just got new phones and one of the key features were were looking for was a full keyboard for texting. I will use texting over actually talking to someone on the phone when given the choice. I also use it just for fun flirts and to say hi when I don't really have anything to talk about but want to let someone know I'm thinking about them.

As far as the thread you were talking about. The situation described there, I don't think texting was the best thing to use in that situation (or any situation where you are having a real back and forth conversation).

[NCfuncouple98]

I do agree it's personal preference. I first started texting only with my teenagers, about a year ago. I might text my husband "pick up bread on way home". I can text that phrase a lot quicker than dialing, waiting for an answer, etc. And that way he has it in writing!

Now, my husband has a newer phone as well, and we text constantly. We have a lot of fun sending dirty and suggestive messages throughout the day. We also text other friends, local or out of town.

I will say that I find it to be very impersonal when it's someone you don't really know. I absolutely do not foresee using it to set up meetings or play dates. Now, if it's already setup and you've exchanged phone #'s, then a "We're running 5 minutes late" text is certainly acceptable.

I am in the IT industry, and have watched communication absolutely disentegrate over the years - mainly due to technology. Compare it to email, whether in business or personal lives, we have all seen long strings of emails that are replied to over, and over, and over again. Sometimes doesn't it make more sense to pick up the phone??

Just because it's available, doesn't make it the best or right way to communicate in many situations. It's may be easy, but you lose all personality. The other person can't hear emotions (good or bad), or other reactions (laughter) and one mis-spelled word can make the whole text something you didn't intend!

Just my opinion.

Mrs. NC

[The Fuse]

I prefer not to text, but I can see its benefits when I get a text that says "Sorry, we're running 20 minutes late". The person feels hurried and for that reason and others doesn't want to have a back-and-forth conversation, so they just send a little blurt as a courtesy.

However, like Julie said, I don't think texting is a good way to really communicate with someone, about anything you wouldn't write on a sticky note.

[Willing29]

Originally Posted by NCfuncouple98

I do agree it's personal preference. I first started texting only with my teenagers, about a year ago. I might text my husband "pick up bread on way home". I can text that phrase a lot quicker than dialing, waiting for an answer, etc. And that way he has it in writing!

Now, my husband has a newer phone as well, and we text constantly. We have a lot of fun sending dirty and suggestive messages throughout the day. We also text other friends, local or out of town.

I will say that I find it to be very impersonal when it's someone you don't really know. I absolutely do not foresee using it to set up meetings or play dates. Now, if it's already setup and you've exchanged phone #'s, then a "We're running 5 minutes late" text is certainly acceptable.

I am in the IT industry, and have watched communication absolutely disentegrate over the years - mainly due to technology. Compare it to email, whether in business or personal lives, we have all seen long strings of emails that are replied to over, and over, and over again. Sometimes doesn't it make more sense to pick up the phone??

Just because it's available, doesn't make it the best or right way to communicate in many situations. It's may be easy, but you lose all personality. The other person can't hear emotions (good or bad), or other reactions (laughter) and one mis-spelled word can make the whole text something you didn't intend!

Just my opinion.

Mrs. NC

I agree with these comments and am also in the IT field. As far as disintegrating communications, I will never forget my High School student writing a letter and me scolding him that "u r" is not a word(s) and he looked at me like I has three heads. Actually our company just provided mail training and a big point was to reduce on costs and line transfers, that it is often good or better to pick up the telephone. I do agree that it is personal preference as to how you communicate. And yes the post I mentioned, it was totally out of line. My wife and I do not use texting to talk to playmates, for now the adults in our family reserve it to basically only talk to family members (and yes I do consider it talking in a sense). Remember StarTrek where the guys talked using only blinking lights, I think it was Cpt. Polk). Oh BTW, on my last bill our youngest used over 3000 text messages. I guess it's the wave of the future so we all need to get used to it.

[wlhotwife]

Ok, reading the sidetracked discussion about texting in the "Pandora's Box" thread in another forum got me thinking. How many in the lifestyle use it as an acceptable means of communication?

Personally, I love it. Most of the time talking on the phone with a LS friend is not an option. I have a 12 year old son, and I would not want him to overhear my flirtatious conversations with my male "friends". Also, it's great for that quick, "thinking of you" message, that doesn't warrant a phone conversation.

I know in the vanilla world texting with a member of the opposite sex who is not your spouse is generally seen as inappropriate. So I try to keep that in mind, and keep my public texting to a minimum. My husband regularly texts with our female "friends" and we always share our text conversations with each other.
I really don't see a problem with it, unless that is your only means of communication.

[MrkLin]

I kind of showed my ass in that other thread, and I don't feel very good about it. I need to explain my position, and this time not come off as a prick, a know-it-all, or some old codger that doesn't understand how it's done.

My problem with texting is that with our phones it's a cumbersome process. We didn't get our phones for texting - we got them to talk into. So, when someone sends me a text message, I ignore it and call the person back - it's a major pain in the ass to navigate through about 7 different screens just to read the ding-donged message in the first place. Then to reply to the message, I have to go through three more screens - then go through the hassle of actually typing the message using only 9 buttons. As I said, it's a major pain. So, I figure if it's worth texting about, it's worth talking about, and I call.

When I said that if I send a text message, I don't mean it - again I was showing my ass. I've sent maybe two text messages in my life, and since it was such a cumbersome process, I just quit doing it.

All things being equal, if I had a phone with a full keyboard, I probably would feel a little different about it. But I would still tend to not use it, I think. I just can't get past the fact that you have your phone in your hand - why not just call? If the person can't take your call, leave a message, and they'll get back to you when they can.

We've never missed a connection or failed to have a meeting because we don't text. I think if it came down to the fact that we don't text is a deciding factor in whether we meet someone or not, we're probably better off not meeting. That's a pretty silly reason not to meet someone, but if not texting turns you off to the point that you don't want to meet us, that says more about you than it does about us. That's just my opinion.

If texting works for you, more power to ya. It doesn't work for us. Texting, e-mails, online chat, and even phone calls will never take the place of talking face to face - we all know that. If texting is used as an icebreaker, or a way to leave a message for someone, and not thought of as a replacement for phone conversations or face-to-face meetings (as seemed to be the case in that other thread,) then I think it certainly has a place in meeting playmates.

Still, if we like you enough to give you our cell phone numbers in the first place, we'll also tell you that we don't text message on these little phones. If you need to get hold of us that badly, just call. We've never had a problem with that arrangement.

[Willing29]

MrkLin, this was not meant as a zing on your texting manners in any way. I just found it odd how so many have different views on this. As for the 6 screens you need to pass through just to text someone I guess it's just getting used to where they are. Just ask my 15 yr old son. He can probably tell you exactly what number each letter is and how many clicks it takes to type a 'z' or 'p'. Not me! Although I do text from time to time with the wife and kids.

[MrkLin]

Originally Posted by Willing29

MrkLin, this was not meant as a zing on your texting manners in any way. I just found it odd how so many have different views on this. As for the 6 screens you need to pass through just to text someone I guess it's just getting used to where they are. Just ask my 15 yr old son. He can probably tell you exactly what number each letter is and how many clicks it takes to type a 'z' or 'p'. Not me! Although I do text from time to time with the wife and kids.

Oh no worries - I didn't see it as a zing directed toward us. Truth be told, I zinged myself by being an ass about it. I just thought I needed to further explain our position since I screwed it up in the other thread.

I have enough trouble with this full sized keyboard that using that tiny screen and those little buttons aren't even something I want to consider. If you only knew how much I use spell check, and have to go back and edit my posts on this full-sized computer, you'd get my point.

[good times]

I don't do text, in fact, I have text messages blocked on my cell phone. To me it is just a very inefficient way to communicate.

[two4youinswva]

I didn't start out this way, but I've become quite the text whore in the last year or so.
I use it at work all the time. Quick way to ask an answer a question. It seems to be the primary way my daughter and I communicate (Mrs two4you is amazed at her one thumb, no looking text abilities).

As for making dates, and general discussions with friends and families, we stick to good old fashioned email (what?), and phone talk.

Smart phones with full qwerty keyboards for the win!

[BiloxiCouple]

We used to have text. Used it some and then just dropped it. Didn't use it enough.

However, after a natural disaster like Hurricane Katrina, texting was the only way we stayed in touch with others. The cell phones were down except for texting for quite a while.

[Day&Night]

We text a lot, with each other and play partners. It can be dangerous though, especially when you get that " I can't wait to fuck you when you get home" text. Makes me drive a little faster than I really should.

[2inSanDiego4u]

We both have newer Blackberry phones, so texting for us is easy and fast! Most of the couples we meet also text. Some phones are very hard to text with, so we can understand why some would opt not to use that feature.

http://yugen.files.wordpress.com/200...curve-8320.jpg

[PB&J]

When I'm at work, there's nothing better than being able to exchange a few texts with my husband, sometimes of the xxx variety, usually an "I love you", or perhaps a reminder of something that he needs to get done. It's much more discreet and efficient than phoning from work, and email is obviously not an option when we're both out and about (and I never do any personal email on a work computer, anyway)