Being tactful or being direct

[Mr. Truelove]

Recently on the board I came across a post where the guy spelled everything correctly, and used proper grammar with the exception of one word used repeatedly. Now, in this guy's previous posts the same word is mispelled. It appears that it is something simple that a spell check might overlook.

Now, I am not perfect in any way. I don't claim to be. And I don't really even expect other people to be. But I know that often, I would rather someone tell me if I am goofing something up so I don't continually make the same mistake over and over. Afterall, if everyone else is already seeing it, why would pointing it out make a difference? And I am speaking more on the terms of someone that already shows signs of possibly caring about it, and not the people that butcher the english language with a spiked club.

Some analogies might be:
Something stuck in someone's teeth or a mark on someone's face.
Body Odor
Someone pronouncing a word wrong
toilet paper on a shoe, dress tucked into underwear...

I'm sure I could go on and on...

But the point is, when do you go from being kind in helping from making some sort of mistake to being an ass for pointing it out.

Mr. Truelove

I would think that a spelling error is not reallly that big of an issue. I would think that it would be best to just ignore it. I understand where your coming from but I think that a spelling error is different than having something in your teeth. It is great that you notice those types of things and I am sure that the person who you are referring to has some great insight that is shared. Therefore, I think all that is needed is a spellchecker

MrsVan

[good times]

Being the poster child for correctly spelled incorrect words, I have to say I don't mind in the least when someone points out the error of my ways. Does it do any good? Not that I can tell, I usually remember for a few days and then revert to my usual torture of all English teachers and anyone else who has mastered the language. I did actually manage to flunk English class once, but Miss white was really hot and I was having a concentration problem in her class. Personally, when I notice this kind of thing, I just tend to ignore it too as long as the meaning is clear. So, when I see people spell site as sight, or discreet as discrete, I just tend to look the other way because I am sure if I were to say something I would make the same mistake from then on.

[havefuninsun]

Maybe sending him a PM and explain exactly as you did here would be nice. I try really hard to spell correctly and use proper grammar, so I'd rather know than not. Can I JUST say for spelling ... use Firefox 2.0!!! Just now, I typed "correctly" incorrectly and Firefox underlined it for me to remind me to fix it

[JustAskJulie]

I think it depends on the person and your relationship to them. For example, if my boyfriend has bad breath I'm going to tell him. However, if it's someone in the office I might not. When it comes to spelling MOST of the time I'm pretty good at it, of course I often get in a hurry when typing posts and I don't spellcheck and I will post with errors. There are one or two words that I have to really stop and think about when I type them or I will misspell them EVERY time, one of those is "receive" - I literally have to stop and do the "I before E except after C" thing to remember how to spell it right. I also misspelled Phoenix for about the first year I had this site (back when there were personal ads on it that I posted by hand each night) - it really pissed a lot of people from Phoenix off.

[Thrax]

Mr. Truelove, I feel your pain, or really, your discomfort.

I am a member of the Spelling/Grammar Police (believe it or not, there are some of the spelling and/or grammar-challenged who might call me a spelling/grammar Nazi! Philistines!). Actually, I'm semi-retired with regard to spelling and grammar, but many basic grammar errors, and the repeated spelling errors, ANNOY ME NO END!

Whoops! Sorry.

Yes, I've corrected some folks. Most of the time I've done my work within the bounds of etiquette, but unfortunately, sometimes my thoughtlessly abrupt behavior has alienated some Board members. My bad. (And again...and again...I apologize to that person quite northeast of me who had to finally tell me to get a life. )

Anyway, my take on the whole spelling/grammar thing is live and let live in MOST cases.

It appears that most folks don't know that alot is not a word. I still cringe when that shows up in posts, but I know that they mean "a lot" rather than "allot" so I can live with that. I tend to let that go.

I've also come to peace with the idea that "your" and "you're" are commonly transposed. When I see that, I remember that I have made that mistake, but also that this is a Board where members are often typing very fast to get their points across and their opinions known, and there isn't always time to proof thoroughly. That I can understand. And that is also a reason not to "proof" other's posts to the nth degree.

So, with all of that stated, if there is one frequent misspelling which you are aware of, then just send that guy a brief message and note that you really like reading his posts, but you happened to notice that he is misspelling a particular word. No big deal; you're just trying to be helpful.

And if that doesn't work, then just slam him unmercifully for his stupidity and/or carelessness. Or not.

Thrax
P.S. It won't surprise most of you that I preview my posts at least once, and usually multiple times
P.P.S. And I still don't ketch ull teh spellung errorz

[HappyPeople]

I wouldn't mention spelling errors. I have a fairly bad case of dyslexia. While I try hard to make sure that everything is spelled correctly I just know that there are words here and there that slip through.

If someone corrected my spelling, I'd first feel embarrassed then I'd get over it and figure that having dyslexia was better than being one of those people who emailed me about a silly misspelled word.

For the most part, I tell people about stuff that is stuck to them or wardrobe malfunctions but I let the little person errors slide.

[Thrax]

Originally Posted by HappyPeople

I wouldn't mention spelling errors. I have a fairly bad case of dyslexia...

Good point.

I usually don't call people out on spelling and grammar errors for that reason. This is a forum on swinging, not a course for an accredited degree at a university. Therefore I don't pick on posters who misspell certain words or aren't attuned to the specifics of grammar.

HOWEVER, I have been known to make a comment when someone, for instance, uses "poll" when "pole" is the required term. If I can make a funny (at least a humorous comment for the benefit of the other spelling/grammar Nazis...er, police) then I'll address a post with regard to spelling and/or grammar. And yes, sometimes I make a "correction", but because of my very particular sense of humor I must settle with the fact that it goes over almost everyone else's head (or should that be heads? Damn this grammar/spelling stuff!).

Thrax
P.S. One of my dyslexic friends often comments that he is burdened with "lysdexia." Hey, we're friends, but I'm a big fan of self-deprecation.

[Mr. Truelove]

I appreciate the feedback on this issue. These are the little nuances of social behavior that I guess I am always trying to improve.

I'll take heed on the advice given and realize that this, like most things, is a judgement call.

Mr. Truelove

[flkeyscouple]

I'm guilty of grammer errors and I am SURE I drive someone like Thrax nuts! I use ..... all the time, and - (dashes). I also use commas incorrectly. I am usually half-way decent about spelling, but I could easily be guilty of using the wrong word in the wrong place (poll, pole, roll, role, etc.)

One of my pet peeves has always been people that use the word 'there' instead of 'their' or visa-versa. Then one day I was reading something that I wrote and their it was (intended, btw). So now I am not quite so crazy when I read the wrong 'there/their', or the wrong to, two, too.

I realize that I'm just as guilty as the party that I was ranting about!

And Thrax, I am one that uses the word 'alot' a lot. I KNOW it's not correct, but it just flys off of my fingers when I type!

I have finally changed back to my new computer so now Firefox 2.0 will need to be installed!! I will have to find that thread to ask a question or two - my (see... there's that damn dash, oh, and the .... too!!) ignorance of computers will show, but, oh well.....

Sarah

[flkeyscouple]

Originally Posted by Mr. Truelove

I'll take heed on the advice given and realize that this, like most things, is a judgement call.

Mr. Truelove,
If it's me, PLEASE tell me!! I'd really want to know. No guarentee I'd correct things in the future, but I REALLY would want to know!!

PM or in a thread - it wouldn't matter. I could handle it!
:surrender

[Thrax]

Originally Posted by flkeyscouple

Mr. Truelove,
If it's me, PLEASE tell me!! I'd really want to know. No guarentee I'd correct things in the future, but I REALLY would want to know!!

PM or in a thread - it wouldn't matter. I could handle it!
:surrender

Holy poop! Mr. Truelove, it's obvious you have the power!

My only concern is that you are not selfish and instead use it to benefit the world.

Thrax

[Mr. Truelove]

Originally Posted by flkeyscouple

Mr. Truelove,
If it's me, PLEASE tell me!! I'd really want to know. No guarentee I'd correct things in the future, but I REALLY would want to know!!

PM or in a thread - it wouldn't matter. I could handle it!
:surrender

It wasn't you. Well, until you made this post. I guarantee it.



Mr. Truelove

[Mrs.PaganLovers]

I am afraid to post anymore. (Looking for grammer police)

At my age, I am just lucky if I get my point across. Yes, I am guilty of "their, there", I know the difference, but I don't always fix it. My pet peeve is "I seen that", I hear a lot of that around this area.

(Wondering just how many of my post have driven Mr. Truelove and Thrax crazy)

Blessings
Mrs. PL

[rpu3]

Originally Posted by Mrs.PaganLovers

I am afraid to post anymore. (Looking for grammer police)

Fortunately or unfortunately, the grammar police are on every board I read. I post rarely on one board because it's not much different than turning in homework and having it returned full of red marks.

Luckily, this board isn't that bad. Just use judgment about correcting others, folks. Between dyslexia, fat-fingering and individual skill sets, being corrected regularly might make this a less hospitable place for others.

The good thing about the spelling/grammar Nazis, er, POLICE, is that purposefully annoying people like Thrax is also fun: Pittsburg Pittsburg Pittsburg Pittsburg Pittsburg Pittsburg!

(Note to Mr. Truelove - I don't know your pet peeve, but I'd throw it in here too).

Rebecca
Wondering how many times I've used "alot"...