Jump to content
R&P_in_LV

What if there is an "awkwardness" after swinging sex?

Recommended Posts

We are easing into swinging. Have talked and discussed all types of it.

 

The only concern as we start to involve others is the question of there being a awkwardness after.

 

I guess the best way to describe it is, during sex some of the things we say and talk about doing would make a porn star blush, but after the session is over not so much talk about it. :blush:

 

We both are on board with threesomes, and soft swapping but want to make sure were happy with each other after.

 

Are there any previous topics on this?

Share this post


Link to post

You started as friends and you end as friends. Any feelings of awkwardness will most likely be felt by all. Offer drinks, food, a shower, a place to sleep ... All good things come to an end, ... for now. :)

Share this post


Link to post

My wife and I felt awkward before, during and after our first partner exchange.

 

Before -- we were sitting on the sofa, they had seated themselves on their living room rug. The two of them kept sliding closer and closer. We kept wondering if these we some kind of secret sign we were suppose to flash at them to say, "Hey, stop the sliding and start with the fucking already".

 

During -- My wife discovers that the guy has a mechanical device that allows him to maintain an erection. The "other woman" begins the discover that I am having a heck of a time getting mine up and begins to wish I also had a mechanical device.

 

After -- We are driving back home discussing this and that about the evening and realize that nobody spoke the words, "we'll give you a call" or "let's get back together again soon".

 

These feelings of awkwardness were navigated the same way that awkward situations are handled in ordinary life -- using civility. Nobody pointed out the awkwardness but made comments or acted in ways, rather, that would either prompt action or save embarrassment.

 

Leading up to this first successful partner exchange, we encountered situations were civility was not used and the awkwardness was never relieved. Easier, I will admit, to say using hindsight but we are all adults and we have left these people behind us without feeling regret. The reward makes any effort worthwhile.

 

Here is my wish that you both find what you want.

Share this post


Link to post

Not sure if you could call this an awkward moment? We were with a single male once at the hotel. After a great session we were just chilling, catching our breath and he did the strangest thing...

 

He tucked his cock and balls back between his legs, laying on the bed on his side. His junk disappeared and it looked like a pussy ? He wasn't small buy any means, and I think it would hurt if I did that.... He must have stayed like that for a good half hour while talking to us about other playmates he had been with... Nothing said about who they were, just "sexy talk"

 

Later after we played again (obviously it didn't hurt him) and then left, Mrsfun said "did you see he had his cock pulled back like that while we were talking?"

 

We laughed about it after leaving but never said a word to him, he is a great single male and we would play with him again... Just kind of weird I guess, we never have seen anything like that before...

Share this post


Link to post

OP, are you asking what if there is awkwardness between the people you are playing with or what if there is an awkwardness between you and your hubby?

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
R&P_in_LV said:

I guess the best way to describe it is, during sex some of the things we say and talk about doing would make a porn star blush.......

 

Mrs two4you really likes the dirty talk. However, unless we know the other couple enjoys it, we tend to tone it way down when playing with others.

 

Believe it or not, some ladies DON'T get off on being told they are a naughty little cocksucker. If you take it too far, the awkward situation may occur during play, and not after. ;)

Share this post


Link to post
sexcupid said:
are you asking what if there is awkwardness between the people you are playing with or what if there is an awkwardness between you and your hubby?

 

Talking about between us. We have such a great marriage and a great sex life would reallllly be bad to mess things up. But we both are into the idea of it all for sure.

Share this post


Link to post
Talking about between us. We have such a great marriage and a great sex life would reallllly be bad to mess things up. But we both are into the idea of it all for sure.

 

Do you two seem to communicate fine otherwise?

 

Two people who are happily swinging should be able to talk about anything. There isn't anything that I can't talk to him about.

 

I probably wouldn't swing until we could talk to each other without any awkwardness between us. If we can't talk about having sex with others and what we experienced, we might not be ready for swinging.

Share this post


Link to post

No we communicate great... I think I'm not explaining it well.

Example car ride home after....

 

We just dont want any regrets.

 

btw thx for help

Share this post


Link to post

Most of us "debrief" in the car ride home...so if your communication is otherwise good, then it should be ok.

 

Now, if you are wanting a guarantee that things might not be a slight bit awkward afterwards....well, we can't give you that. There may be some as far as figuring out what or how to say something. Plus you may find that what normally works for you as far as communication may have to be tweaked. For me normally, I want details/minutiae. For LS related stuff, I would rather not. Usually a "Did you have a good time? Yes, that's good." is usually all I need from him afterwards because in that respect I do not care to hear the details. If it wasn't a good experience, I would be curious as to why...but if its good, then I don't care to know the specifics (plus I'm usually somewhere near by in the playroom and can hear how well his evening may be going lol).

 

If there is awkwardness after, well work through it. Unfortunately life doesn't have a guarantee policy...if you have good communication, if your relationship is solid, you have a good foundation. Everything else just needs to be dealt with as it comes along.

 

Good luck :)

Share this post


Link to post
fun4Ds said:
He tucked his cock and balls back between his legs, laying on the bed on his side. His junk disappeared and it looked like a pussy?

 

I've done it, I'm not small (average length, top 10% girth), and it doesn't hurt. I had a girlfriend a long time ago that would intentionally put mr. happy like that. Also liked playing "turtle" with him between play sessions.

 

*shrug* makes no difference to me. It doesn't hurt, and it made her happy...it's all good.

Share this post


Link to post

The other guy couldn't find the condom after he finished with Tina. Tina was lying on the bed and the two of us were searching for the condom. It was as if it had vanished like an odd sock.

Share this post


Link to post
Talking about between us. We have such a great marriage and a great sex life would reallllly be bad to mess things up. But we both are into the idea of it all for sure.

 

There is going to be some level of awkwardness after your first time (and maybe even your third or fifth time) of doing something so totally new and foreign for your relationship. The key, as others have said, is communication. In the car ride home, talk about what happened, and what might leave either of you feeling awkward and get it out there. Don't allow things to fester and come up the next day as a "bad" thing. The debriefing in the car ride home, as others described, is the best thing you can do. Allow for the "oh I really liked when he did....." or "It really bothered me when she did...." without judgement and with the knowledge that it was just a new experience just like the first time you did something else new together. You'll like some things and dislike others, and next time it will be different because of what you realized from the first.

Share this post


Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Similar Content

    • Guest FunintheSnow
      By Guest FunintheSnow
      A comment on the thread/poll about same vs. separate rooms reminded me of a question that's been on my mind--in your experience, what tends to happen when one pair finishes having sex in same-room play? Does the other pair feel pressure to finish up?
       
      Edited to add: Yeah, I know someone's always going to finish first, barring wild coincidences. But I couldn't think of a better way to put it.
    • By funstuff
      Hey guys,
       
      We're new to this whole swinging thing and haven't gotten started yet. The one thing that really bugs me is safety! Obviously condoms for intercourse are a given.
       
      I read an article the other day about how rampant mouth/throat cancer has become because of HPV transmitted through oral sex.
       
      Oral sex with condoms is just about worse than no oral sex at all!
       
      Don't know what to do... how do you all handle safety?!
       
      Thanks!
    • By njbm
      Just wondering how many have quit swinging due to STD concerns?
    • By mncurious
      My wife recently returned from opening up our marriage for the first time. It was with a man she met on a recent trip overseas. We talked about it and planned her return trip for months. He sent her any documents she requested and had no problem talking to me if I wanted to. We agreed to split the costs for the trip.
       
      We established clear boundaries and communication expectations. They spent an entire week together and used most of the condoms my wife and I bought for the trip. Only once did the condom break but since we use script birth control, we are not concerned as he gave her proof of being std free. She's still concerned and wants to get tested before we have sex bareback again. We still haven't had sex since she returned.
       
      About the experience
      This was also my very White wife's first time having sex with a Black man. She's 42, her lover's 47. Let's just say she loved her first time having a Black lover. Her orgasms were beyond intense seeing his BBC slip inside of her. His, too as it was his first interracial relationship, too. He was also much more dominant and assertive during sex with my wife and was able to take her from behind and bring her to climax which is very hard to do. I'm much more chill during sex and like her to take the lead. She's okay but much prefers his style.
       
      The only issue from the trip was that one time the condom came off during sex and they didn't notice until it was too late. My wife's a little nervous and is being tested asap, at least for any stds.
       
      Since she returned, we haven't had time to connect sexually due to jet lag, kids, and work. She said it was a really great liberating experience overall. My wife still keeps in touch with him even though they both agreed it was mainly about sex, not a relationship. There seems to be plenty of NRE.
       
      What is the reality from the group here when a married White wife not only has her first swinging experience but with a Black man for the first time, too. So many firsts!
       
      Should I be concerned about anything or is this natural and normal for my wife to want him again so quickly after her first time opening up our marriage? Or is it also being with a Black man who by her own words was so amazing and incredible? Or is it just NRE with her new lover? They definitely have some emotional attachment after being together for an entire week 24/7. Lots of sex, kissing,and travel together. From what she said, their mutual attraction has little to do with race and more to do with just a visceral physical and emotional connection.
       
      We agreed not to share social media messages or emails between my wife and her lover unless she wants to. We also talked about swinging once she returned but she has already talked about going back to see him in Europe next year. They still keep in touch and talk after the trip.
       
      Does this sound like a poly relationship developing or just NRE from the long swinging adventure?
       
      Thanks for the advice and please reply on or offline.
    • By intuition897
      In light of recent conversations about intimacy, I thought these videos would be interesting. They're still fairly guarded, but as open as they can be with someone they don't know. These are strangers really undressing and kissing one another, and the awkwardness is almost painful to watch. But once they let go, you can see that moment I was talking about, where you get to see another human being in all their (nearly) naked glory. It's a very cool experience. For me, this is what swinging is all about! They're promoting swinging without even realizing it.
       
      Strangers undressing one another:

       
      Strangers kissing one another for the first time:

×
×
  • Create New...