Do's and Don'ts for first time MFM play

[arami]

I am (male) going to have the opportunity for my first 3 some (MFM) and feel nervous wanting it to go well. Not specifically sure about do's and don'ts wanting to be respectful to all. Especially not sure how to get started....don't want to look clueless (frail ego). We have emailed etc about interests. Will meet for drink first to be sure all are comfortable. This is a first for the couple as well.
Appreciate suggestions/thoughts.
arami

[meandher2go]

from the male part of a MF couple id say just be calm, dont rush anything and always be respectfull of HER and HIM. ask the guy if its OK to do a particular thing with her before ya do it even if it was discussed in emails as things might be different now that its really happening in life.

and put the condom on automatically before you ask if ya need one or not.

but keep checking with him to make sure all is good so there is no drama.

AND..remember its his first time, so he's nervous too.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by arami

This is a first for the couple as well.

Be very patient.

Reassure the husband - if it gets to that point - that you will stop if he gets uncomfortable. Same, of course, with the wife.

But, prior to that, just put swinging out of your mind. Keep the thought of sex as far from your mind as possible. Just "shoot the shit" with the husband. Be a normal, down to earth, completely "undesperate" guy - and you'll be fine.

Good luck to the three of you.

Play safe and PLEASE be very understanding of this couple. A first for them can be fairly traumatic - much more than it will be for you. Be sensitive to this and you will be valued by them more than you can imagine.

Spoomonkey

[VanHlebar]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Be very patient.

Play safe and PLEASE be very understanding of this couple. A first for them can be fairly traumatic - much more than it will be for you. Be sensitive to this and you will be valued by them more than you can imagine.

Spoomonkey

I'll tell you from my point of view, Spoo's comments are dead on. MrsVan and I have not yet had a MFM encounter yet. We are really looking forward to it and we are working on it, but our biggest concern is finding a guy that is going to be a gentleman with her. Someone that understands, this is about her and not us and that as long as she enjoys it then things will work out just fine.

-Van

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by VanHlebar

Someone that understands, this is about her and not us and that as long as she enjoys it then things will work out just fine.

I agree with much of what you wrote. But I think you will find, Van, is that when you become active, this IS actually about the two of you. Sure, she is in the center and receiving most of the physical attention, but what this does to the two of you as a couple will be incredible - or terrible.

Either way, you will not be an uninterested bystander.

Our best single friend understands that this is about us - and he treats us that way. He treats me with respect, my wife with... well... much more than that with respect generously included...

Just a little tidbit I thought I'd add before you have your first.

Spoomonkey

[VanHlebar]

Sorry I didn't go back and read my post before hitting submitt. I have no intention of being an bystander , but for me it's always about pleasing MrsVan, even during our regular sex life, so I don't see that changing even if we go further down the road in this new endavor.

Any advice you have is always welcome. We haven't had any chances yet, but we are moving closer so we will see what happens.

-Van

[Honey_Tampa]

Arami ... Believe it or not, the nervousness you're feeling is HALF of what they are experiencing. Hopefully you're one of those giving, wonderful types that likes to focus on their partner(s) ... to help make it the most comfortable situation for all of you. They have so much at risk. I don't mean to add the pressure but if you want to really be aware of the situation, it's a huge leap the couple is taking!

Smile, be a gentleman, think about THEM at all times and I think you'll all have a good time. And be honest with yourself during the happy hour "interview" ... if you aren't feeling a click, don't push it and accept going further. That's what I would ask of our third partner....

[hilltop]

Arami,

You've gotten a lot of great advice from all of the previous posters . . . take heed.

I would like to add my two cents regarding the "it's all about her and them" statements.

Having been in many MFM situations it's actually about ALL THREE of you.

Each of you has a place of equal consideration. As stated by the posters above, show understanding/respect for them and expect it for yourself as well.

This is new for all of you, let it be about first time exploration and not expectation. Approach it that way and do everything you can to put them and yourself at ease. Most of all make it about having fun and enjoying each other's company.

Good luck to you and have a great time!!

Let us know how it went!

[jaydee555]

Originally posted by: hilltop
Each of you has a place of equal consideration. As stated by the posters above, show understanding/respect for them and expect it for yourself as well.

I agree with hilltop, We've been in MMF encounters for a long time, and respect for each other, goes a long way to keeping everyone happy. It will be hard to remember all of the things posted here, if all goes well. Your mind will be on more important things. But the advice given here is something to think about, before you enter this relationship. It will be hard to know how to react before hand, as it can go many ways. I hope it is a good experience for you, and the couple that has invited you into their first encounter.

[gsu22]

As others have said, show respect and make sure everyone is comfortable with the rules before starting....I know i was VERY nervous the first couple of times..I tried not to view the situation as "sex" only...

Make sure you remember she should be the center of attention and focus on her

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by hilltop

As stated by the posters above, show understanding/respect for them and expect it for yourself as well.

Excellent point.

At the risk of sounding like I am tooting my own horn here, we have found that the single friends who have treated us with respect have often simply become friends to us, treated no differently than the couples we know. If a couple treats you poorly, proceed with caution (and by "proceed" I mean get the hell out ).

Spoomonkey

[Tterrific]

Wait a minute............did I miss something here?

This is a first for the couple as well.
Appreciate suggestions/thoughts.
arami

Mr. Arami presents in his profile as a "Married Male"
I did not see a reference to Mrs Arami or her thoughts and feelings.............

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Tterrific

Mr. Arami presents in his profile as a "Married Male"
I did not see a reference to Mrs Arami or her thoughts and feelings.............

I didn't notice that...



Please tell me that was a erroneous selection and all our talk of "respect" was not wasted on someone who has none for his wife...



Spoomonkey

[arami]

Thank you all for taking the time to share your insights and suggestions..very helpful to me and I am going to encourage the couple to join this board and read your comments..again, thank you.
arami

[graygo98]

Originally Posted by Tterrific

Wait a minute............did I miss something here?



Mr. Arami presents in his profile as a "Married Male"
I did not see a reference to Mrs Arami or her thoughts and feelings.............

I think this post on Female Viagra sheds some light on whether or not the "married male" tag was an accident.

Female Viagra?