Thinking I want MFM...How do I ask?

[jamther]

My husband and I are interested in bringing a certain male someone home for a good time. I had a very interesting fantasy fulfilled with him a couple of weeks ago. It was set up by my husband as a very unselfish gift to me. For the next encounter, we would really like to have my husband present but I am so afraid this guy is going to think we are freaks. How do I approach it with him? What do I say? It would totally be me and him with my husband watching and I'm sure ending up with me. I know he is game for more encounters with me....but will he be open to this? Are most men??? I always thought it was always a man's fantasy for two women.

[dayhiker]

jamther ... does he know you are married? does he know your husband knows you meet him? If not I think feeding him those peices of info will help you know where he is on the idea.

dayhiker

[joaninla]

I think you will find most (maybe it would be more accurate to say many) men would welcome the excitement, and sheer kinkiness of taking part in this. It is very erotic and explaining this fantasy both you and your husband have will probably allay any fears he may have. Good luck!

[havefuninsun]

I think I understand from the other thread that your husband set this adventure up with your ex boyfriend ... so the boyfriend knows about your husband, and visa versa.

Well -- the boyfriend has already figured out you guys are a little freaky if your husband arranged the playdate, yes? So, I bet he'd be willing to at least entertain the idea with no ill affects. He may decide "no" for some reasons, but I bet he will not think ill of you.

As most men would, I'm sure he loves knowing that adventuresome side of yours!!

Ask him! let us know!!

[jamther]

I asked him........he said yes...........OMG!!! I am so nervous.........I told my husband that he was willing to join us and he was very surprised that I actually asked. Now I am freaked out about the actual "event". I assume we just let it happen. It can't really be a rehearsed situation I suppose. Our Man involved is a little off guard about the whole deal with my husband watching but seems to be very open to new things. Please PLease PLEASE advise on how to handle the introductions, how to begin and how to end....I am so nervous I could puke.

P.S. This is supposed to happen Friday.

[VanHlebar]

Well first thing I would say is relax. Everything will be just fine.

Are you planning on meeting somewhere first for dinner, drinks, dancing or are you just going to invite him to your place or a hotel and then play?

I can tell you what has worked for us in the past. We met a single guy for dinner for the first time. We chatted with him over dinner got to know him a bit. Then at the end of dinner I knew MrsVan wanted to invite him back for to the house so I just asked him, would you be interested in coming back to the house? He said yes and then followed us home. We played some pool for a little bit and had a beer and MrsVan got a bit more comfy and started flirting with him. Eventually she was ready and she made the first move with the guy and then we headed to the bedroom for some playing.

I would say just take it easy and slow. You already have one thing going for you in that you both already know each other AND you have already played together. So I think this will happen alot easier than you think it might.

Good luck and enjoy the evening! I know MrsVan loves to be the center of attention like that...I mean what lady doesn't right?

-Van

[gatorvol64]

Just relax!! And enjoy your adventure!!!!

Vol

[Vjklander]

Consider renting a hotel room with a built-in hot tub. They are all over our area for $125-$150. The tubs are big enough for 4. Then just get naked and go for it. Personally, I love when another guy and I both engage in foreplay with my wife. I know some guys are apprehensive about another guy there, but if the woman is the focus of both men, there shouldn't be a problem.

[sweet_tna]

First off, it couldn't hurt to try and imagine how much fun this will be. If you can relax enough to let your imagination run wild, it'll get you revved up for the big night. Second, I agree with vjklander about booking a hotel room. It's neutral ground, and if you have a hot tub, it's a great excuse to get everyone naked and helps get the party started.

Either way, have yourself a glass of wine and try to relax. Both men WANT you and are on board with this. What could be a more powerful and sexy feeling than that? Having done MFM, I can honestly say there isn't much else that is (so far).

As for introductions, they pretty much will know who each other is anyway so that probably won't be necessary. Then again, I've introduced myself to a play partner (one that I already knew) in the middle of playing, just to be silly.

~Mrs. Sweet =)

[Vjklander]

The fact that Mr. and Mrs. jam are both posting is great. Mrs. jam really just has to let herself be pampered. Mr. jam should read some of the MFM threads to be a bit more cognizant of some of the emotions he will have. It's not unusual for the female to concentrate on just one of the men, even if both are playing with her. Some guys take this as a rejection of sorts, though it really is just her not being able to split her attention. We've played with her taking two men at once and with both taking turns.

[rachan]

My husband and I have enjoyed mfm for several years. I love the attention, so I'll second second some of the other advice. Just relax and go for it.

Raeann

[Drusilla]

Jamther...You are a very lucky girl and I'm soooooo incredibly jealous! I'm still working on getting hubby open to the idea of playing with others. I'm thinking it's going to be a very long time, if ever, that I get to experience the MFM. Of course, that's the one thing I'm really really REALLY wanting. *sigh*

Of course you are nervous but just go and have FUN. Enjoy the attention and don't think too much. That's what I was told when first introduced to the idea of playing with others....lol...."stop thinking so much".

Still waiting for my chance so please, please, PLEASE be sure to come let us know how it goes. Details would be good.

[jamther]

Thanks for the advice to all!! I want say when I sent my wife out for her "playdate" which I completely orchestrated and sprung on her 9 am the morning of, my emotions were all over the place. Afterwards I felt hopelessly in love with her, couldn't get enough of her, I had never, ever felt like this about anyone before in my life. So it was a little hard for me to control my emotions - not exactly the emotional type. I understand what I was feeling and I am really sooo good with the MFM she wants. Like I had said earlier, we were both very sexual people early in our relationship, it seems as if we have been dormant all these years.

What we, I think I can speak for the Mrs. as well here, have felt and expereinced over this last month has brought us sooo close together. When my wife is on, there is no better. I asked her 10 minutes ago about the session we had 2 nights ago, we agreed niether of us had experienced anything better. Then it goes beyond physical, the way she looks, the way she looks at me, the way she talks to me and that smile I feel like I am falling in love all over again.

I am absolutely crazy for this woman - my wife and I know having a MFM will take her to a level she has never been to - a level that I can't even imagine!!!!!!

[blue.freckles]

I'm so excited for you!

Keep us up to date about how things turn out!

[sweet_tna]

Wonderful! I can't wait to hear how it went.

~Mrs. Sweet =)