MFM Threesome-Advice

[dayhiker]

Originally Posted by Sir Dude

I must say, once again, that it is nice to talk to people about this. I mentioned it in another sex related forum and I was told that I was a discusting pig.

Yup, each person wants to enjoy the aspect of sex they like and in doing so they want to think that their fetish is OK, but then they want to condemn what everyone else enjoys about sex that they don't. It seems most don't even realize how closed minded this is. Or should have have called them hyocritical!!!!
lol
dayhiker

[Sir Dude]

Originally Posted by good times

I think you are really going about it the hard way. While we often see people come here with the fantasy of setting something up for their wife, in real life I personally don't think that works very well.

What I would do, were I in your shoes, is discuss it with your wife including all pros and cons, and then tell her if she wants to go ahead and play with this friend, it is ok with you. Then let her initiate the action with him. I don't see any benefit to you being the middle man between your friend and your wife in this, and the down side to you trying to set something up is the misunderstandings and false expectations you have already experienced. while I don't think you should be totally uninvolved, I think you should let her initiate any play, if anything is to happen at all.

Excellent advice. When I get the nerve up we will chat. Maybe tonight. Like I said, I want her to initiate things. After she said she was embarrassed I told her I would not bring it up again. I felt ashamed at the time. However, if I bring it up and get shot down again, then it was never meant to be. She knows that I am very open sexually and that I will try almost anything. Our sex life is good and it won't be ruined if she doesn't want a threesome.

We all have fantasies. Most of them may never be experienced. I hope my MFM threesome happens. Maybe not today, but sometime in the future, when my wife is ready.

[Mr. HW Sharona]

Originally Posted by dayhiker

Yup, each person wants to enjoy the aspect of sex they like and in doing so they want to think that their fetish is OK, but then they want to condemn what everyone else enjoys about sex that they don't. It seems most don't even realize how closed minded this is. Or should have have called them hyocritical!!!!
lol
dayhiker

Yup, happens here too.

[Thrax]

Originally Posted by dayhiker

Yup, each person wants to enjoy the aspect of sex they like and in doing so they want to think that their fetish is OK, but then they want to condemn what everyone else enjoys about sex that they don't. It seems most don't even realize how closed minded this is. Or should have have called them hyocritical!!!!
lol
dayhiker

I'm heading out to dinner so I can't address this in full, but I wanted to note this message sort of as a placeholder...maybe I can get to it tomorrow.

Anyway, dayhiker, I'm just curious about the use of your term "fetish" for an MFM situation. There are "cuckolding" or "hotwife" scenarios that I think would qualify for inclusion in the fetish category, but a generic MFM doesn't seem to be in that category IMHO. To me an MFM is definitely not vanilla, but I don't see your standard-issue MFM as being a fetish either.

Terms and definitions are obviously very important when we're talking about sex in this venue (e.g., considering the differences/similarities in the terms swinging and swapping). I'm a word nerd and I'm a swinger, or maybe I'm not the latter because I don't have a partner to swap. Anyway, I have a word-nerd's need to know if an MFM is truly a fetish, or is it just an "alternative" sexual behavior (and what does that mean?), or...something else.

Sorry to open Pandora's Box here, but my initial thought was that an MFM, or even an FMF or MFMF or similar, would just be some different sexual comminglings, while a fetish is something a tad different.

Later,
Thrax

[LOL_OMG]

I know there are people on the boards that have played with vanilla friends but I think your taking a risk. If he's a good friend and things go south then he's no longer your friend. It may be more difficult to get together with a single male from scratch but it's not impossible. We managed on our first try and it turned out great. Good luck.

Mr.

[EternallySingle]

Originally Posted by Thrax

I'm heading out to dinner so I can't address this in full, but I wanted to note this message sort of as a placeholder...maybe I can get to it tomorrow.

Anyway, dayhiker, I'm just curious about the use of your term "fetish" for an MFM situation. There are "cuckolding" or "hotwife" scenarios that I think would qualify for inclusion in the fetish category, but a generic MFM doesn't seem to be in that category IMHO. To me an MFM is definitely not vanilla, but I don't see your standard-issue MFM as being a fetish either.

Terms and definitions are obviously very important when we're talking about sex in this venue (e.g., considering the differences/similarities in the terms swinging and swapping). I'm a word nerd and I'm a swinger, or maybe I'm not the latter because I don't have a partner to swap. Anyway, I have a word-nerd's need to know if an MFM is truly a fetish, or is it just an "alternative" sexual behavior (and what does that mean?), or...something else.

Sorry to open Pandora's Box here, but my initial thought was that an MFM, or even an FMF or MFMF or similar, would just be some different sexual comminglings, while a fetish is something a tad different.

Later,
Thrax

That wasn't an inaccurate use of the word fetish. Its not a popular use, but a fetish literally means:

1. an object regarded with awe as being the embodiment or habitation of a potent spirit or as having magical potency.
2. any object, idea, etc., eliciting unquestioning reverence, respect, or devotion: to make a fetish of high grades.
3. Psychology. any object or nongenital part of the body that causes a habitual erotic response or fixation

Therefore, fetish was appropriate in that context. It was the thought that created the sexual desire. In the really old days, a fetish used to be attributed to charms and amulets that people believed would give them magical power or protection. Since the most 'potent' fetishes were the ones couples used to conceive children, the word took on a decided sexual connotation in the early 20th century. Especially since sexual fetishes seemed to work.

As for the OP, your wife doesn't want you to know she enjoys the idea of swinging more than you do because, as you said, she is not as sexually open in public as you are. As you have stated several times, she gets very risque flirting with your friend and has even met with couples to swing with, but something made her decide this person or that person wasn't the right one. Probably something about them made her feel they couldn't be trusted with her secret desires.

hmm...maybe you could use the fetish idea and create alternate identities for you both to use. Then you can go to another city and she could be the sexy swinger on the weekends and the normal housewife during the week at home. Just a thought.

[webbguy]

3 words.....women are nuts

[lovinher]

Originally Posted by webbguy

3 words.....women are nuts

And so are the men who think they have to figure them out or even try for that matter. Personnally I don't want to. With some limits regarding that. It makes things much more interesting and how boring would that be? I would think women feel the same about men. I mean isn't that one of the things that draw people to swinging in first place and trying new things?

[havefuninsun]

Originally Posted by lovinher

And so are the men who think they have to figure them out or even try for that matter. Personnally I don't want to. With some limits regarding that. It makes things much more interesting and how boring would that be? I would think women feel the same about men. I mean isn't that one of the things that draw people to swinging in first place and trying new things?

I love your attitude!

[Sir Dude]

I haven't had a chat with her yet. I worked late last night and I wasn't in the mood to talk about a possible threesome. However, she has been very horny lately. Like I said, the sex the other night was crazy. She was really into it. Tonight, my usual poker night, she told me to stay home and we could have some fun. I asked her what she had in mind and she told me we could take some pictures.

I love taking erotic pictures of her but we only do it once every 3-4 months. I delete most all of them soon after because we don't feel safe with them in the computer. Maybe tonight I will find a good time to bring it up. When Saturday comes and our friend shows up I would like to know what will or will not happen. I don't expect anything will happen but if she wants it to, I don't want to miss my chance.

Cheers
I'll keep you posted.

[EternallySingle]

Originally Posted by webbguy

3 words.....women are nuts

...and that makes me a squirrel.

[Sir Dude]

As I suspected Saturday night didn't happen. I had to change plans due to prior obligations at work. Therefore we never did get the chance for 3 of us to be alone. However, it was for the best since we never did get a chance to discuss the fact that I would love a MFM threesome.

On the other hand, as I have already stated, sex was unbelievable again last night. I took some great naughty pictures and I'll keep them on my PC for a few days before I decide to get rid of them just in case. Ya never know.

My problem is that I don't have the balls to start a conversation about the threesome. I don't want to push the matter but at the same time, I would like to talk about it. We did have a short discussion the other day about how high my sex drive was over the last few months.

Then the other night she told me I was all over her and kept playing with her pussy while we slept. I honestly don't remember this but she says it happens sometimes. She doesn't mind. I told her I was having another MMF threesome dream and she laughed but the phone rang and I didn't have an "in" to restart the conversation.

Maybe I just don't have enough courage to bring it up again for fear of rejection. Yet, I know that given the right circumstances she would surely do it.

[Sir Dude]

The advice I recieved about our threesome fantasy may have helped us to move to the next step to our MFM threesome.

My wife and I had an in depth discussion about the whole idea and it turns out , she is very turned on by the idea. It makes her very horny to know that both of us want her at the same time. She admitted that she has always thought about what it would be like to have sex with my friend.

So far she has not agreed to go full out but suggested that if the moment was right whe would definetly like to give him a blow job while I watched but also admitted that she would like for him to go down on her as well but she isn't sure she is ready to go that far. She also added that if she is having a good time things could go further.

On Saturday she suggested we set up a time so this Friday night he is coming over for dinner and drinks. I have explained what might or might not happen. He can't wait and I can't either.

Since Saturday we have been at each other every chance we get. She is even more wild in bed than ever before. She even asked me to do her with one of our larger dildos while she sucks me off.

However, she still warns me that it might never happen and it is up to her to make the first move, either through extreme flirting or flat out making a move on him.

I don't want to get my expectations up too high but I am crossing my fingers.
She has an appointment tonight for a bikini wax and some shoppng. So, I have to go.

Later, Cheers

[lovinher]

Make sure we get an another update to this story Saturday morning.

[GoNatural]

Oh yes..... I'd certainly love to hear how this went. It is wonderful and amazing how this can really turn up the heat in a relationship.