Age-old Problem Solved? New name for "swingers"

[borrowlend]

Hello everyone, we are fairly new to this sight and this is our first post.

We've been into this swing-thing for a few months and have had a pretty good time so far. MOSTLY thanks to this sight with all its information--we learned the dos and don'ts by reading, rather than personal experiences. Great job!

But the swing community has had a problem we've noticed from day one: NOBODY likes the terms "swingers" or "lifestyle," or any other variants or terms used. So I made it a personal mission to remedy this situation once and for all.

I wracked my brain for days, well, okay-hours, well an hour at least in total. Anyway, I think I have a new term that might be embraced: BLENDERS.

Here's the background: First, the name should sum up the essence of what we do. It seems that the common act that all forms of "swinging" include is that of sharing--your partners, essentially. (The most common reason people reject the term "lifestyle" is because they see swinging as something they do once in a while, not something that constitutes a "way of living.") I see "lifestyle" as describing more specific arrangements, like a 3 or more polyamorous group--a group that live as 3 or more together.

So, I looked for synonyms for "share" but nothing suitable came up. I was considering checking language dictionaries, maybe a French word. But then, the answer was right in front of me. Our screen name on this site: borrowlend. Hence, "b" from "borrow" and "lend" make up "blend."

It's perfect--after all, sometimes we lend our SO to someone, same room or otherwise; sometimes we borrow someone's SO; sometimes we borrow while lending. Also, the name is more appealing, to me anyway, than "swingers." "Swinger" just sounds outdated, like a seventies disco word. Also, it seems to lack a significance--what does it mean?

So, what do ya think? Are we blenders or will I get flamethrow

Welcome to the board!!!!!

We use the terms "swingers" and "The lifestyle", Hell why not blenders doesn't bother us. Too us it doesn't really matter. We just call it having fun in a very naughty way!!!!! facelick

[Spoomonkey]

Welcome!

We don't have a problem with the word "swinger", but you are right - there are folks who do. We aren't all that touchy when it comes to semantics, so swinger will do just fine.

"Lifestyle" as I see it, is pretty much the same - just another word for swinging. Yeah, it has a different nuance for some folks, but in the end, it's just a word.

"Blenders"? I like it - and if it catches on, we're there!

Spoomonkey (in a blender)

[Vespertine]

Welcome to the board!

What a lovely introduction, borrowlend.

...and I like the name "blenders'. Tres' chic!

[LikeMinds321]

After reading this post I have a sudden hankering for an Orange Julius.

Welcome to the board!

LM

[Cpl2SwingNC]

Well, you've done a great service to the community BorrowLend; not only "Blend" as defined by you, well stated, the true definitions uphold our desires:
v. blend·ed, or blent (blnt) blend·ing, blends
v. tr.

1. To combine or mix so that the constituent parts are indistinguishable from one another: “He has no difficulty blending his two writing careers: novels and films” (Charles E. Claffey).
2. To combine (varieties or grades) to obtain a mixture of a particular character, quality, or consistency: blend tobaccos.


v. intr.

1. To form a uniform mixture: “The smoke blended easily into the odor of the other fumes” (Norman Mailer).
2. To become merged into one; unite.
3. To create a harmonious effect or result: picked a tie that blended with the jacket. See Synonyms at mix.


n.

1.
1. The act of blending.
2. Something, such as an effect or a product, that is created by blending: “His face shows, as he stares at the fire, a blend of fastidiousness and intransigence” (John Fowles). See Synonyms at mixture.
2. Linguistics. A word produced by combining parts of other words, as smog from smoke and fog.


Bravo, now let's go proliferate what we do as "Blend."

[Greg & Sheryl]

It would take some time for us to get used to "blenders." It's understandable that some couples don't want to be associated with the disco era, but is a kitchen appliance really a better association?

We are not too sure about the etymology of "blenders," either. The concepts of "borrowing" and "lending" imply the possession of an object, and we don't think of ourselves as objects to be possessed.

[beaverz]

Mrs. Beaverz and I have to disagree with Greg & Sheryl and maybe with many others here concerning the concept of possession.

We both feel we belong to each other. We are actually considering getting tattoos with each others names, it was Mrs. Beaverz idea. Not to make a fashion statement, but to show the belonging to each other.

We have not tested the swinging (blenders) lifestyle waters as of yet, but wouldn’t have a problem with the term blenders.

I agree that the term swinger seems to be an outdated term. I think that most people envision swingers as flower children from the sixties and early seventies.

[borrowlend]

Thanks for the warm welcome everyone. Great responses so far. I'd like to elaborate on something that I refrained from adding for fear of my first post being too long-winded. This addresses some concerns about the term.

It did occur to me that some might find the idea of borrowing and lending to imply ownership of one's SO. The solution: one may consider oneself to be lending oneself, not one's SO. After all, we GIVE ourselves over to the other-in that we freely, willingly commit to a life with the other--or at the very least a long-term partnership. But we don't GIVE ourselves to others; we LEND ourselves. It is a temporary state.

As for associations with kitchen products: First, I would say that this is no worse than associating oneself with an outdoor toy--i.e. a swing; nor is it worse than associating oneself with a form of dancing (I don't dance and if I did, I wouldn't do swing-dancing!) Blender, in contrast, has other more appropriate meanings than just the kitchen object: An artist blends paints; my favorite: someone may blend in a crowd---(do we not easily blend into the vanilla crowd?) Then there is the more festive connotations that the word brings up--as someone mentioned--many good drinks are blended--makes you think of a party. And we do have parties, do we not? Finally, there is the blending together of all types of people-age, ethnic, religious backgrounds, careers--we are a motley crew all blended together with what we have in common. Social, economic and cultural compartmentalizations are breached in what we do, like no other activity that comes to mind. God, now I'm starting to sound like a politician!

Hmmm, breachers? Once more into the breach, dear friends!

Well, I don't know if it'll catch on, but I think we have made a good case for "blenders," Q.E.D., I think.

[confunktion]

Welcome to the board!

Excellent leadoff post. While "swingers" and "lifestyle" doesn't bother me too much, I am not minding "blenders" at all. Certainly would throw a few naysayers off, wouldn't it? I can see it now...

Naysayer: "Are you one of them there swinger couples?"
Blender: "We're blenders, actually."
Naysayer: "Oh....OK...."


Mr. Funk
Up for a daquiri right about now...it's noon somewhere...

[VegasLee]

Originally Posted by Greg & Sheryl

The concepts of "borrowing" and "lending" imply the possession of an object, and we don't think of ourselves as objects to be possessed.

I have to agree with Greg and Sheryl on this one. Laura is her own person, I don't loan her out or tell her what she can or can not do and it goes the other way for me.

As for more "titles." As I have said before, people are to hung up on titles.

If it is not broken, why try to fix it.

[Vespertine]

That was funny, Mr. Funk!

I can't wait to use that line...

[WesternSwing]

Welcome to the board!

We've never had any issues with "swinger" or "lifestyle" and use the terms in our conversation and with friends. But "blender" works well, kind of denotes a blending of people, like the blending of a very sweet mixed drink.

Mr. WS

[confunktion]

Originally Posted by Vespertine

That was funny, Mr. Funk!

I can't wait to use that line...

Go for it. No copyright infringement here.

Mr. Funk
Sharpening his copywriting skills

[largdad]

good term. After all we do all blend in together when the lights are low.