Swinger or Lifestyle?

[RW1F]

Are any of you offended by the word Swinger? The reason I ask is that my wife was talking to a couple and asked them how long they had been swinging. The male half of the couple looked like she had asked if he was a child rapist or something. He quickly said, we prefer to use the term "lifestyle" and went into a two minute lecture on why "Swinger" was an offensive word. I think it would have been a five minute lecture but my wife and I got up and politely made our exit while he was taking a breath in between sentences. So is anyone else offended by the term Swinger or was he just a little to into himself? I don't look at this as a lifestyle. If I felt my life was defined by the kind of sex I have, I'd shoot myself.

[Spoomonkey]

It's a word...

That's all.

It is a word that has been linked to the kind of sexual adventures that we have. So, for us, it doesn't bother us at all. We use it to describe ourselves when talking to each other.

We've known couples who bristled at the word as well, but my problem with that is they always give us a rather detailed explanation of what the word swinger "means." Then they tell us how they are different than that - and they end up describing the majority of people in the lifestyle.

The bottom line is, the healthy, happy couples in the lifestyle are first and foremost about each other - secondly they are about playing with people with whom they find some connection above just the physical. They are cautious and selective, but at the same time flirtatious and fun. They aren't "belt notchers" or "scalp collectors". They aren't sex addicts or perverts...

And some people think being this way means that they are somehow transcedant of the term "swinger".

Sematic arguments always give me an ice cream headache...

The way I see it - call it what you will. Call it "swinging", "lifestyle" - heck call it "congregational flippy-flop". In the end, it usually boils down to the same thing anyway.

Spoomonkey

[HotCoupleGnS]

Dito what spoomonkey said!

[MIbbwcpl]

I've never heard of the difference between the two, anyone care to share?
We call it swinging or playing-I think of it as just good 'naughty' fun.

[BradAndJanet]

Hmmmm...another one for the 'turn off' category: people who get hung up over semantics. Po-tay-to...po-tah-to...

-B

[javelin]

Oh boy did I get a bunch of crap from some folks on a yahoo group when I used the S word. Get this, the Yahoo group was for Desire Resort which is marketed towards "Lifestylers". People are definitely offended by the term swinger. People will deny they are "swingers" and claim they just play around. On lady said in no terms was she a swing since she only did the bi-girl thing. Personally I think a swinger is anyone who engauges in any sex outside their primary relationship, with the consent of the SO. So, no, cheaters are not swingers. I also suppose a single is not swinger, they just have sex with couples or casual sex if you will. I will admit also that I believe in degree's of swinging, like soft, full, same room, etc.

Maybe the difference between a swinger and a lifestyler is like the difference between a nudist and a naturalist. A fancy term for someone who thinks they are taking something to a higher more respectable level. Bottom line to me, you have sex with someone other than your SO, you are a swinger.

Let the flames begin. I'm used to it.

[Spoomonkey]

Thanks for the info!

We have tossed around the idea of going to "Desire" sometime (should the tree of money ever shake it's leaves our way) and I would have hated to get ostracized over "terminology".

I'm not sure you'll get too terribly flamed from this post

Spoomonkey

[javelin]

Don't take what I said to be any reflection on the resort itself. It is a real nice place, and I'm sure a "swinger" could have lots of fun there. We just got back, and the only problem I had was three days of constant rain. Desire is a very outside centric kind of place, an when it rains, the place losses much of its ammenities.

[WesternSwing]

Originally Posted by RW1F

Are any of you offended by the word Swinger?

Nope.

Mr. WS

[RW1F]

Originally Posted by javelin

Maybe the difference between a swinger and a lifestyler is like the difference between a nudist and a naturalist. A fancy term for someone who thinks they are taking something to a higher more respectable level. Bottom line to me, you have sex with someone other than your SO, you are a swinger.

That's the way I figure it. I had to use a large amount of self-restraint (which isn't always my best attribute) to control myself from laughing out loud when he got on his soap box. Seems like "swinger" is not the taboo word he made it out to be. Maybe next time I wont try and restrain my laughter so much

[RW1F]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Sematic arguments always give me an ice cream headache...

There's not much worse than an ice cream headache. You sit there, you take a deep breath, it doesn't help. You try the old rubbing your temples routine, still no relief. As a final resort you try saving warm saliva in your mouth to combat the cold, still no relief. Finally it resides, then............................
you take another bite, awwwwwww shit!

See, monkeys ain't any dumber than humans

[tazzie_n_truck]

We are by no means offended by the term swinger, we even refer to ourselves as swingers when talking about it with other couples, or people. We would have to agree with spoomonkey, it's just a word. Our lifestyle does not revolve around sex, yes we enjoy swapping with other couples, but it's not the main focus of our relationship, and our "lifestyle". To us swinging is our chance to have adult time with other adults that does include sex, but the people we swing with are people we are comfortable with. Mainly because we are not interested in sex with complete strangers.

We have come accross some people who are so taken in by the "lifestyle" that they think that their whole world should revolve around it, and don't understand when we tell them we have a life aside from swinging, we have family (mainly our kids), and other things that take presidence over swinging.

But that's our feelings about it.

To be honest we have nothing to hide by saying we are swingers.

[Brit_Pair]

All the legitimate things on this planet to get worked up about . . .