View of Swinging/Swingers on SwingTown

[Trace Ekies]

Question...As the husband in a relationship that swings and likes it why would I do anything to jeopardize my relationship?

Bruce is being hit on by a co-worker and doesn't talk to his swinging wife about it? My first question would be to my wife about a threesome with an attractive single woman.

Roger spends the day at Tom and Trina's house with out Janet's knowledge and consent. He knows what has happened at a few parties and knows his wife doesn't yet approve. If he intends to swing at some point in the future with Janet why would he do something that looks so bad?

The point is to shed some light on the view of our hobby from the outside. Is what we're seeing on Swingtown Hollywood building some drama into the show or do people really think that we as a group are fucking each other with or without the consent of all parties involved?

Mrs. Ekies and I have a strict play together rule. If I played hooky from work and went to a swinging friends house, no matter how innocent, I'd be in serious trouble as I should be. Is this type of behavior prevalent in our hobby?

We just haven't seen any of this type of shenanigans. It seems Tom and Trina are okay with this arrangement. Bruce and Susan are okay with it due to guilt and Roger and Susan aren't.

Any thoughts from the most thoughtful group I've had the pleasure to encounter?

Trace

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by Trace Ekies

Question...As the husband in a relationship that swings and likes it why would I do anything to jeopardize my relationship?

Good question, yet we see it all the time here. You do have to wonder why a guy who's been given the golden goose would seek out an egg from somewhere else.

Originally Posted by Trace Ekies

Bruce is being hit on by a co-worker and doesn't talk to his swinging wife about it? My first question would be to my wife about a threesome with an attractive single woman.

For one thing, I think that swinging is still very new to Bruce and the whole concept of openness new as well. As much as he wants to believe that Susan really wants it I think maybe he's not sure what would happen if he told her what was going on. Would she believe that that it was Melinda who was lighting the fire? Or would she take Melinda's side (as a woman) and assume that it's just Bruce wanting some extra?

That said, the fastest way to defuse Melinda at this point would be to tell Susan what is going on and get her involved. I bet if Melinda had permission she wouldn't even want Bruce anymore.

Originally Posted by Trace Ekies

Roger spends the day at Tom and Trina's house with out Janet's knowledge and consent. He knows what has happened at a few parties and knows his wife doesn't yet approve. If he intends to swing at some point in the future with Janet why would he do something that looks so bad?

I don't really think that Roger intends to swing at some point. Sure he might have fantasies about Susan or about what goes on at the Deckers but I don't really think the idea has crossed his mind that that might EVER actually happen for him. The fact that he knows she doesn't approve is exactly why he wouldn't tell her. I think that Roger is feeling like he's in a "can't win" situation regardless of what he tells Janet.

It's also important to keep in mind that Janet & Roger not only are not swingers but they really have overall poor communication as a couple.

Originally Posted by Trace Ekies

The point is to shed some light on the view of our hobby from the outside. Is what we're seeing on Swingtown Hollywood building some drama into the show or do people really think that we as a group are fucking each other with or without the consent of all parties involved?

I think it's a combination of both. But at the same time if you look at it based on what we now know from the latest episode. With the exception of Tom no one is fucking anyone without consent of their partner. I don't think anyone on the show is ok with the idea of their partners screwing others without consent.... well except maybe Tom... but I think even he realizes he screwed up pretty big time and part of that may have been some ambigiousness in their rules that needed clarifying (since she was "on the list" evidently).

[VegasLee]

Originally Posted by Trace Ekies

Is this type of behavior prevalent in our hobby?

Yes and No.

First off remember this show is nothing more then a T.V. Show made for entertainment and profits. It does not state at the start of the show that this is about the Swinging Lifestyle.

There are many, many people that have been in this Lifestyle that have messed up what seemed to be perfectly great relationships. End up in divorce. Why, no one can really answer that totally.

It seems to be human nature to want what you can not have. To many on the outside we have everything. Great relationships, we can talk to each other and we get to have sex with other people. Inside, there are people that still want more. They want that "hidden" excitement that the "normal' people in this world search for. They have affairs and end up losing what seems to be perfect in the first place.

I hate to say I have seen it way to many times over the years and as the "Lifestyle" changes it is happening more and more as time goes on. Really is to bad that something that started out as "recreational sex between consenting adults" has turned into drama and divorce in many cases.

So does it happen, YES! The divorce rate within the Lifestyle has risen. That right there tells you that something is not right within the relationships.

"You can't fix stupid."

[socolais]

The internet is a great communication tool we have and they didn't. Through our communication here, we can learn from the mistakes of many and perhaps mature in our swinging behavior more quickly. In the last episode Tom advises Bruce against relationships with fellow employees. Many lessons were learned "the hard way".

[vegaskid]

Swingers *should* be together when they swing otherwise it can lead to trouble. Tom and Trina are a good example when he had sex in Japan without Trina knowing about it, but wait, theres more. Didn't Tringa do the same thing with her old boyfriend before Tome got back?

[ktimephoenix]

I will hazard a guess that it happens in the lifestyle... but swinging is about sex. cheating almost never is. cheating is usually the byproduct of a failing relationship.

[ktimephoenix]

Originally Posted by vegaskid

Swingers *should* be together when they swing otherwise it can lead to trouble.

This is true for many couples, but not all. i know of a few couples that quite happily swing seperately (as in she's at work, he's at a party or viceversa). Mrs P and i are actually toying with the idea to, as we've found a complete lack of jealousy, and a new level of trust...

[2inSanDiego4u]

Originally Posted by Trace Ekies

Mrs. Ekies and I have a strict play together rule. If I played hooky from work and went to a swinging friends house, no matter how innocent, I'd be in serious trouble as I should be. Is this type of behavior prevalent in our hobby?

It seems like most profiles we read and most couples we encounter play together. Of course there are plenty who play together, but for their own personal reasons like to play in separate rooms within the same premises. And then there are those who play completely separately. As far as percentages, we have no idea how these groups break down, but it seems to us like most couples in the lifestyle right now play together, same room.