Swingtown Episode 7: "Heat Wave" - discussion

[VANudistcpl]

Julie, To reply to your no you didn't statement if you put a steak in front of a dog sooner or later they will bite the steak. Guys are dogs and therefore sooner or later Bruce will take the steak.

Of course Mrs. Nudist new the second he did the I need a shower routine that he slept with his understudy.

[Dagney]

The sad thing is that all of the "cheating" problems could be totally eliminated by communication. I can't believe that Bruce would sleep with his co-worker behind Susan's back, when if he would just explain to her what he was feeling, be totally open and honest, and allow her the same freedom she would probably give him the go ahead.

We currently use a "reverse list" in our relationship. For the most part, as long as someone isn't on the NO list, and as long as we tell the other about it either up front or right away if it's an opportunity issue then for us it isn't cheating. But - we constantly talk to make sure our rules haven't changed. For instance, right now I'm not really looking for opportunities, because our scorecard got kind of lopsided and I need Hank to catch up before I can feel like he is really okay with everthing. I know - we shouldn't be keeping score, but we do.... so we work with it.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by VANudistcpl

Of course Mrs. Nudist new the second he did the I need a shower routine that he slept with his understudy.

The funny thing about that particular scene was that when I saw him do that, I was like "No you Didn't. I can't believe he slept with her". Pet was sitting next to me of course and his first reaction was "you know when I come in and say I need a shower I just really need a shower right?". "Yes, honey, but at least you are willing to kiss me first no matter how bad you might smell".

It's not the shower, it's the reason behind it and the reason was fairly obvious.

[spvcouple]

What a great bunch of comments! The episode especially impressed me that Janet, having a BIG blow to her country club plans, decided that she would support her husband in troubled times. In the first episodes she impressed me as a bitchy busy-body, unless she was eating from an Alice B. Toklas (spelling?) cookbook.
Janet's husband (can't remember his name) and Susan definitely have a good connection. I hope nothing elicit comes of it. Men are seen as dogs (see earlier comments) and I don't like to think of her as a cougar. Male-female friendships are possible without any sexual tension, though they may need it for the story-line.
Hmmm, that is about all MY comments for now. "Cept that Tom is the kind of guy that I would rather not have join US for an evening.

K and D

[JustMrJ]

I can say that Tom may have not slept with the runner. Chances are he did, but chances are he was just trying to figure a way to tell Susan that this lady made a BIG pass at him.

But, I've been wrong before... wouldn't be the first time.

Tom... well, I suspect he should have called his wife and just to get 'permission' if nothing else. She probably would have been okay with it.

My wife perked up a bit when Roger was 'unveiled' too... I have to say there is definitely some chemistry there. I hope there will be some proper swaps down the road and not cheating. Rodger doesn't strike me as the type, no matter how long you dangle the steak in front of him.

Can't wait for next week!

[Tybee Swing]

My thoughts --

Susan and Janet's husband, Roger: From the very first episode, and through nearly every episode since, we have sensed a secret crush between these two, especially on Roger's part. Lingering looks, shy smiles and blushes between them, seeking out quiet private conversations. With this last episode, they just took the next step. The worst part: both of them lied and/or omitted telling their spouses where they'd been or who they'd been with. When Bruce said something like, "Great, the air conditioner's fixed. You got a guy to fix it?", Susan could have said, "Yeah, Roger stopped by and he fixed it, isn't that nice?" But, she just let him think that some repair guy was called. That in itself shows big trouble, to me.

Same thing with Roger....he finally admitted to Janet that he was fired, after she had to go through humiliation with the bank and his ex-coworkers (which he should have spared her from), but then he went on to hang out at the swinger's house without telling her a thing about it, and hang out and flirt with her best friend all afternoon. He is so not ready for an "open and honest" relationship. If he can't be up front about things like his job status or where he's been all afternoon, he's light years away from anything more. I think that Janet is more prepared for swinging, than he is!

Janet may be many things, but from the beginning, she's often been the only truly honest person in the room. Remember the camping weekend? She was the only person in the room who didn't know who was sleeping with whom and what was really going on. They all concealed it from her (including her own husband), and left her hanging, sensing that something was "off" and to look like the idiot. If she seemed shocked or upset after she learned all that after they got all the way out there, she should have. Even as swingers, I'd have been really pissed with my husband if he'd kept me in the dark like that.

Trina and Tom: They often seem to be jealous of each other and sometimes border on playing head games with their flirtations (using people to get to each other). An example of this is the hot guy at the pool that was talking to Trina about photography. She was all over him and kept looking at Tom to see if he was reacting (he was). It was revenge for the blonde bimbo. Sometimes, they seem like that dreaded "drama" couple that everyone is trying to avoid these days. They started out as a cheating pair (Tom cheated on somebody else to be with Trina), and 99.9% of the time that a couple like this ends up together, they will be jealous and suspicious of each other. That seems to be the dynamic they are working with in the show, which seems pretty realistic to me.

[DarkenFreaky]

Originally Posted by Dagney

We currently use a "reverse list" in our relationship. For the most part, as long as someone isn't on the NO list, and as long as we tell the other about it either up front or right away if it's an opportunity issue then for us it isn't cheating. But - we constantly talk to make sure our rules haven't changed. For instance, right now I'm not really looking for opportunities, because our scorecard got kind of lopsided and I need Hank to catch up before I can feel like he is really okay with everthing. I know - we shouldn't be keeping score, but we do.... so we work with it.

It is nice to see that others do keep in mind how unequal playtime can lead to hurt feelings and try to keep that in mind with how they proceed.

[Pinmonkey]

Originally Posted by VANudistcpl

Julie, To reply to your no you didn't statement if you put a steak in front of a dog sooner or later they will bite the steak. Guys are dogs and therefore sooner or later Bruce will take the steak.

I'm not sure I can agree with this statement at all. Julie forgive me for taking this thread off topic but I just couldn't not respond to this. Men are not dogs to jump on the first steak that's thrown in front of them. I've come across just as many women looking for conquests as I have men.

[lookingfornow]

I think that he took the shower because he had seriously considered it and did not do it. And the shower is an allegory to his discomfort with the idea of cheating. I saw it as symbolism that he was trying to wash off her offer.

[Thrax]

Originally Posted by lookingfornow

I think that he took the shower because he had seriously considered it and did not do it. And the shower is an allegory to his discomfort with the idea of cheating. I saw it as symbolism that he was trying to wash off her offer.

Or just maybe, since it was a heat wave, and he'd been working that day, and he was still in his work clothes, and had been in a smokey bar for hours (with no A/C), he actually...needed a shower.

Nah.

Thrax

[socolais]

Originally Posted by lookingfornow

I think that he took the shower because he had seriously considered it and did not do it. And the shower is an allegory to his discomfort with the idea of cheating. I saw it as symbolism that he was trying to wash off her offer.

I don't see Bruce being repulsed by the offer, I think he felt flattered but he knew it was shallow. I think he knows Susan would be hurt when (if) she found out and he wouldn't want to be responsible for that pain. He also knows better than to get involved with someone he works with. He's paying attention to other folks in the bar and he knows he's not the only one being observant.

He knows Melinda has sex just for fun and attaches little relationship value to it. He also knows Melinda will be available whenever the conditions are right (if he later decides to accept her offer). He has a good thing going with Susan now - newlywed sex. He's successful because he knows how to think, he's not going to mess this up.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by lookingfornow

I think that he took the shower because he had seriously considered it and did not do it. And the shower is an allegory to his discomfort with the idea of cheating. I saw it as symbolism that he was trying to wash off her offer.

Originally Posted by Thrax

Or just maybe, since it was a heat wave, and he'd been working that day, and he was still in his work clothes, and had been in a smokey bar for hours (with no A/C), he actually...needed a shower.

Nah.

Thrax

It wasn't as much the fact that he went to take a shower, but the WAY he did it, and the fact that he basically brushed Susan off before she could even kiss him hello or hug him. My man walks in sweaty (or smokey if he's been in a bar) all the time and will go take a shower right away but it won't stop him from kissing me hello if I ask him to.

[shes_in_parties]

2 things come to mind:

I don't think the writers are necessarily trying to send a message about swinging or cheating; I think they're trying to make a show about realistic people with realistic emotions in somewhat extreme situations a la six feet under (though less absurd, obviously). However, a message will be sent regardless and lots of vanillas will equate swinging with cheating. Hopefully it will really serve to get people thinking about what the differences are; for example I don't see Trina reacting the way a vanilla TV wife would to infidelity.

Second, I didn't see the previews but I think the thing with Bruce and Melinda is a red herring. It really feels like they're trying to make everyone think he slept with her and they're going to surprise us next week. Maybe she'll follow him home and they can finally address Susan's bi curiosity!

If anything, there is a theme of communication.

[DorMar825]

Originally Posted by VANudistcpl

Julie, To reply to your no you didn't statement if you put a steak in front of a dog sooner or later they will bite the steak. Guys are dogs and therefore sooner or later Bruce will take the steak.

Of course Mrs. Nudist new the second he did the I need a shower routine that he slept with his understudy.

Maybe we're all jumping to conclusions. Isn't hammering Bruce for cheating, based on a shower somewhat presumptuous? Fact is, no one KNOWS if Bruce cheated. We're just ASSUMING he did. Ok, so he took a shower after a long sweltering day with no air conditioning. Who wouldn't? That's not proof he cheated with Melinda! Why get all up-in-arms over the swing v. cheat issue when the only one who "cheated" is Tom? And even thats open to debate, based on their "rules"... (which we don't really know yet). Only time (and the next episode) will tell.

[Opportunists]

great comments from everyone...

i finally watched this episode on tivo last night and my take is this:

i have been very pleasantly surprised with swingtown. when i first read about it in Entertainment Weekly, i thought 'oh no... they're going to portray us as disease-infested drug addicts who can't control themselves.'

but they didn't! for the first handful of episodes, it was kind of funny that the vanillas were missing out on something and the swingers were the cool kids.

however, this is a drama... and they can't have a whole season of 'there are swingers in the world and they have a lot of fun'. there has to be some drama in a drama. and face it, the intended audience is mostly vanilla people... so the drama has to relate to what their objections/opinions of swinging is:

they can't reject it for drugs or disease b/c the writers have shown that not to be the case... what's left? jealousy. most vanillas can't understand swingers b/c they are jealous of their spouse.

so my prediction is there will be a lot of crossover storylines using either implied or expressed jealousy between all members of the three main couples in the show.

i just hope they can keep it to something i can relate with because i have enjoyed the show up to this point...

does anyone know how the show is doing ratings-wise? i saw that episode 7 wasn't in the top 30 shows last week... not good considering its time slot.