Would you do what Trina & Tom did?

[JustAskJulie]

play with an ex? In this week's episode of SwingTown a situation arose where Trina & Tom ran into a HS sweetheart of Trina's. Trina then invited him over when Tom was not home (nothing happened) and later when the ex tried to initiate something with her she made it clear that it was a threesome or nothing.

So, first how would you feel about inviting one of your exes to play in a threesome with you and your spouse (assuming you did threesomes) and 2. if it was your partner's ex, would you feel threatened by the situation?

[2inSanDiego4u]

It seemed that when the Ex chased her into the house and they cut away to commercial, that they were implying something might have happened without Tom. It also seemed that Tom was having some fun of his own with that blond he talked to after he hung up the phone with Trina.

Back on topic, we don't think it is a good idea to have a threesome with an Ex, be it male or female. Why stir up those old emotions and take chances like that? Plus, you never know how the Ex will end up feeling about it later even if you two are OK with it. As far as being a threat, from an emotional point of view, possibly.

[sweet_tna]

The first thing out of my mouth upon reading this question was, "Hell no!" But I think that's because there's no way on earth I'd want to be with any of my exes again, and Mr. Sweet doesn't have any. That answers the question as asked, but not the spirit in which it was intended. So after giving the matter some thought, I still believe I'd say no. Those folks would be our exes for a reason, and there's too much potential for emotions to get in the way.

=)

[Highway]

Asnswer #1....I wouldn't wish any of my Ex's upon anyone one else, especially someone I am with now.
Answer # 2 yes it would be ok for my partners ex to WATCH....just to see what they are missing now!

[Alura]

I wouldn't want to say "Never!" but the one ex I might consider died a few years ago. Mrs. Alura can think of only one ex she might like to have sex with again, but that's not likely.

We'll stick with taking turns with our playcouples to do threesomes. It's a whole lot safer in many ways. We''re not likely to do a threesome with a single person. Again... I wouldn't want to say, "Never!"

Mr. Alura

[LikeMinds321]

I wouldn't have a problelm inviting an exboyfriend to join us, or me alone, nor would I have a problem with one of MrLM's exgirlfriends playing with us, or him alone. All of the same considerations would be made just as if we are choosing any person to play with us: we both have to like them and feel good about who they are.

In Trina's case, her exboyfriend asked her to play and in the same breath said "he (Tom) doesn't have to know." That right there would have stopped things for MrLM and me. We wouldn't play with someone who was asking us to cheat.

LM

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by 2insandiego4u

It seemed that when the Ex chased her into the house and they cut away to commercial, that they were implying something might have happened without Tom. It also seemed that Tom was having some fun of his own with that blond he talked to after he hung up the phone with Trina.

I think it was clear from the later scene "he doesn't have to know" that nothing actually happened with Trina and the ex while Tom wasn't there, outside of some comments and flirting. It remains to be seen if Tom's cheating occured already or if it's still to come.

[Malachista]

I have an ex (from 10 years ago) I still have some great sex with, but I'm not sure it if would work out if one of us would get into a relationship...

[sexcupid]

If it was an ex-bf or my ex-hubby, I don't think so. My feeling on that is more along the lines of 'that bridge has been burned'. I can be friendly and socialize with my ex's...but I don't have any desire to have sex with them anymore.

Now...for an ex-playmate...possibly depending on the playmate...because I had a dream that was hot as hell a few weeks ago that involved Jeff, a couple of other guys...one of which was a former playmate...good lord, it was hot and I was rather disappointed that the alarm went off when it did.

As far as having any one of Jeff's ex's or ex-playmates join us...I just don't know that doing that would be within my comfort zone. Any ex-wife or girlfriend for sure is out of my comfort zone. Ex-booty calls would probably be taken on a case by case basis just like picking other playmates.

Looks like next week's episode is going to be a humdinger...Tom apparently cheats with Blondie...Roger hooks up with Susan (?)...then again it may all be just a clever bit of editing for the preview...so we'll see.

[des1re06]

Since I only had 1 boyfriend all through high school, the answer is yes we would. Hubby said if he was comfortable with the guy, then yes.

He has 1 girlfriend that he would love to see again, and find out how her life turned out. I'd have no problem meeting her either.

Mrs. D

[Trace Ekies]

Like alot of you, we discussed this exact thing and agreed that we wouldn't. We don't ever say never but this is close.

Old feelings, both good and bad and some BS macho thing I've got whirrin' around in my head about seeing her with someone she was with prior to us. I feel stupid for having admitted such a thing but it's true.

I doesn't feel like jealousy but it's similar somehow. It's hard to put my finger on but it's macho based and must be some form of jealousy.

Trace

I personally would not feel comfortable with either having one of my ex's join us or having one of MrVan's ex's join us. I just think that would feel ackward between either of us. We both have ex spouses and I do not think I personally could invite my ex in to join us nor do I think MrVan could do that with his ex.

I think that bringing an ex from the past into your bed could pose for some problems. What if there was still feelings there from either of you and that kind of helped spark it.

I think it is best to leave the relationship the way that it is and not try to change that (even for sex).

MrsVan

[2inSanDiego4u]

In retrospect, the fact that Tom left the threesome and she had to drag him back in at the end seems to indicate that issues are starting to arise with them. The show is implying that maybe bringing Ex-whatevers into the mix is not a good idea, due to the emotional issues that might erupt for any or all of the participants.

[sweet_tna]

Originally Posted by 2insandiego4u

In retrospect, the fact that Tom left the threesome and she had to drag him back in at the end seems to indicate that issues are starting to arise with them.

I disagree that Tom had to be "dragged back". He did leave, and Trina came out to talk to him, and even said, "I'm going to send him home." She then assured Tom that he came first with her, and then he decided to head back inside with her.

I agree that this does show that playing with exes isn't the best idea, but I think the issues that are starting to arise are going to have more to do with Tom's Tokoyo route and whether he cheated on her.

=)

[tittietwister]

I think inviting an ex violates one of the swinging guiding principles of no emotional attachment, doesn't it?

Also the writer's confused swinging with open relationships. Tom said they had an "open relationship" and that they came as a package.

These definitions are courtesy of the Chesapeake Poly Network.

Open Relationship n : An agreement among the members in which the partners decide that they can have sexual relations outside of the relationship. Generally, partners have also agreed that they can have sexual relations independently of each other.

Swinging vb : Recreational sexual activity, also sometimes called " sport sex " where partners or participants agree to have casual sex with each other. There is usually no emotional involvement. A form of monogamy in which usually two partners agree to have casual sex with other couples or singles.