swingers and non-swingers

rosebug_98 · 06-22-2008, 10:08 PM

My husband and I keep our vanilla and lifestyle lives separate. On Swingtown, they seem to not do that. I mean, do any of you have a party and invite both swinger friends and non swinger friends and not inform the swingers that this is a vanilla party? Also, did any of you think it really, really mean for a swinger to put down a vanilla person because they are not in the lifestyle (square, kill joy)? Just wondering.

ncmd_couple · 06-22-2008, 10:23 PM

Rosebug,

We keep our swinger and vanilla friends seperately. Yes, we both agreed that the "kill joy" sign was mean. You have to keep in mind that this show was set in the 70s, a new couple in the lifestyle would not have the resources, via the internet, that we enjoy. They didn't have any guide like this site to help them evaluate the situation and make it better. So they were living life, stepping on land mines, and dealing with it. So, as a flash back, the show is great, but I'm glad that we have other information available that we would not have had back then.

S

petra6998 · 06-22-2008, 10:28 PM

We keep the major of our friends apart, course there is a couple of friends that are vanilla with a side of swing, lol.

***JustAskJulie*** · 06-22-2008, 10:43 PM

I don't really think anyone was putting down Janet for not being a swinger but for actually being a Killjoy (boring).

As for combining the two, we've done it be always warn the swingers that vanillas will be there and to mind their Ps and Qs.

ViSexual · 06-23-2008, 02:25 AM

When we were swinging, (in the seventies), it was with friends and coworkers so we all shared the same 'vanilla' friends.

And, most of the vanilla friends knew. I even had one 'vanilla' wife come on to me but nothing ever happened and she and her husband never did any swinging that I knew of. Too bad too, 'cause she was a really hot little redhead that I'd have loved to do. It had been my wife who'd told her about our swinging with a couple who were mutual friends. They did play strip poker with us one night but it ended with that.

**good times** · 06-23-2008, 03:30 PM

We have been to several vanilla parties that were mixed. As long as the swingers know that their will be vanillas there, we have never seen any problems with it. On the other hand, we have never heard of anyone having a swingers party and inviting vanillas to come.

MRnMSbhaven · 06-23-2008, 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by good times

On the other hand, we have never heard of anyone having a swingers party and inviting vanillas to come.

We've been to one of those. It was more that they invited a vanilla friend who knew and was on the fence about it. From what I hear it "enlightened" them (him & his girlfriend) and they decided to give it a try. I have no idea what eventually happened. Naughty me I never asked.

We were all warned to try to mind our P's & Q's until they left. We tried.

Ms B

redgirlwithfrec · 06-23-2008, 05:25 PM

We' have been to a few parties where it was a combo Van/swinger combination. Even hosted a party here once with our parents around. We made sure that we only invited those swingers we knew would be able to behave themselves. Everything has worked out fine in each of those situations to date.

Pepper & Drew · 06-23-2008, 07:31 PM

Yep, we've attended lots of vanilla gatherings with our swinger friends. Cookouts with friends' kids, Thanksgiving dinner, birthday parties, house warmings, jewelry parties and even a Jewish naming ceremony. Now, we were prepped in most cases (ok, what do we say when people ask how we met?) and in ALL cases we knew up front that this was going to be totally vanilla.

I don't think intermixing the two is a really big deal, as long as your swinger friends know how to act.

Pepper

Nudesailing · 06-23-2008, 07:54 PM

we have gone to several meet and greets at vanilla clubs and it is said before we attend that it is vanilla club and there has never been a problem,

DarkenFreaky · 06-23-2008, 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rosebug_98

My husband and I keep our vanilla and lifestyle lives separate. On Swingtown, they seem to not do that. I mean, do any of you have a party and invite both swinger friends and non swinger friends and not inform the swingers that this is a vanilla party? Also, did any of you think it really, really mean for a swinger to put down a vanilla person because they are not in the lifestyle (square, kill joy)? Just wondering.

Yes we would have our a party with both there but all of our friends in and out of the lifestyle know what we do. There would be no surprises. There is a lifestyle party and there is a non lifestyle party that may have lifestylers there. There is no playing at non lifestyle parties.

And yes it is rude and mean to put someone down because they disagree with your views.. no matter what side you are on for the issue

***JustAskJulie*** · 06-25-2008, 01:54 AM

One thing to note is that the party in the first episode... I don't think that was meant to be a vanilla party... and the hosts DID NOT invite the vanilla couple.

Now on the other hand, looking at next week's episode... there we are seeing the Millers combining their vanilla and swinger friends.

Chicup · 06-25-2008, 02:01 AM

If the swingers are REAL friends then they should be fine at a vanilla party.

We have one couple that we invite to all the family stuff and other vanilla parties.

I think the issue is that most swinger friends are not true friends beyond the swinging. Sure you might like each other and do things together but take away the swinging and there is nothing there. Now perhaps some you can't trust to keep their mouth shut, but we tend to avoid that type from the get go.

2inSanDiego4u · 06-25-2008, 07:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chicup

If the swingers are REAL friends then they should be fine at a vanilla party.

We have one couple that we invite to all the family stuff and other vanilla parties.

I think the issue is that most swinger friends are not true friends beyond the swinging. Sure you might like each other and do things together but take away the swinging and there is nothing there. Now perhaps some you can't trust to keep their mouth shut, but we tend to avoid that type from the get go.

We agree. Bottom line for us is if we trust that the lifestyle friends will be discreet, they will get an invite to a vanilla event. We know a few people that we would not want to have around if alcohol was available. LOL!

knb2004 · 06-25-2008, 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

One thing to note is that the party in the first episode... I don't think that was meant to be a vanilla party... and the hosts DID NOT invite the vanilla couple.

Was it, though? A swingers party that is. Yes, they had a playroom where swingers were clearly playing, but outside of that room it was quite vanilla. We've invited vanillas to parties at our place and advised them that they should probably stay out of the basement, and advised the swingers that nudity and playing was only in the basement.

Granted, most of our vanilla friends know about us, and those that don't for the most part it just hasn't come up. Outside of work we're quite open about it, as are our fictional friends the Deckers.

PS...

<----- Look over there.

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06-22-2008, 10:08 PM	#1 (permalink)
rosebug_98 Registered Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 4 Location: Westlake, Ohio Status: couple Swing Lifestyle Name:rosebug_99	swingers and non-swingers My husband and I keep our vanilla and lifestyle lives separate. On Swingtown, they seem to not do that. I mean, do any of you have a party and invite both swinger friends and non swinger friends and not inform the swingers that this is a vanilla party? Also, did any of you think it really, really mean for a swinger to put down a vanilla person because they are not in the lifestyle (square, kill joy)? Just wondering.

06-22-2008, 10:23 PM	#2 (permalink)
ncmd_couple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 2,252 Location: North Carolina Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:ncmd_couple	Re: swingers and non-swingers Rosebug, We keep our swinger and vanilla friends seperately. Yes, we both agreed that the "kill joy" sign was mean. You have to keep in mind that this show was set in the 70s, a new couple in the lifestyle would not have the resources, via the internet, that we enjoy. They didn't have any guide like this site to help them evaluate the situation and make it better. So they were living life, stepping on land mines, and dealing with it. So, as a flash back, the show is great, but I'm glad that we have other information available that we would not have had back then. S
	__________________ Try anything once, twice if it is fun, three times if it is real good!

06-22-2008, 10:28 PM	#3 (permalink)
petra6998 Here to Stay Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 71 Location: Michigan Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:petra6998	Re: swingers and non-swingers We keep the major of our friends apart, course there is a couple of friends that are vanilla with a side of swing, lol.

06-22-2008, 10:43 PM	#4 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,288 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard	Re: swingers and non-swingers I don't really think anyone was putting down Janet for not being a swinger but for actually being a Killjoy (boring). As for combining the two, we've done it be always warn the swingers that vanillas will be there and to mind their Ps and Qs.

06-23-2008, 02:25 AM	#5 (permalink)
ViSexual Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 521 Location: Florida Status: M. Male Swing Lifestyle Name:Visexual	Re: swingers and non-swingers When we were swinging, (in the seventies), it was with friends and coworkers so we all shared the same 'vanilla' friends. And, most of the vanilla friends knew. I even had one 'vanilla' wife come on to me but nothing ever happened and she and her husband never did any swinging that I knew of. Too bad too, 'cause she was a really hot little redhead that I'd have loved to do. It had been my wife who'd told her about our swinging with a couple who were mutual friends. They did play strip poker with us one night but it ended with that.

06-23-2008, 03:30 PM	#6 (permalink)
good times Mod Squad Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 6,919 Location: Reno, Nevada Status: Married to Mrs Good Times Swing Lifestyle Name:randp	Re: swingers and non-swingers We have been to several vanilla parties that were mixed. As long as the swingers know that their will be vanillas there, we have never seen any problems with it. On the other hand, we have never heard of anyone having a swingers party and inviting vanillas to come.
	__________________ R (He is R, she is P)

06-23-2008, 05:25 PM	#8 (permalink)
redgirlwithfrec Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 120 Location: NE PA Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:redgirlwithfreckles	Re: swingers and non-swingers We' have been to a few parties where it was a combo Van/swinger combination. Even hosted a party here once with our parents around. We made sure that we only invited those swingers we knew would be able to behave themselves. Everything has worked out fine in each of those situations to date.

06-23-2008, 07:31 PM	#9 (permalink)
Pepper & Drew Mmmmm...tasty! Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 1,035 Location: Hurricane Alley Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:alhedonists	Re: swingers and non-swingers Yep, we've attended lots of vanilla gatherings with our swinger friends. Cookouts with friends' kids, Thanksgiving dinner, birthday parties, house warmings, jewelry parties and even a Jewish naming ceremony. Now, we were prepped in most cases (ok, what do we say when people ask how we met?) and in ALL cases we knew up front that this was going to be totally vanilla. I don't think intermixing the two is a really big deal, as long as your swinger friends know how to act. Pepper
	__________________ "Swinging is a lot like riding a Harley, ...for those who understand, no explanation is necessary; for those who don't, no explanation is possible." --Mr. Alura

06-23-2008, 07:54 PM	#10 (permalink)
Nudesailing Here to Stay Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 74 Location: Texas Status: Couple	Re: swingers and non-swingers we have gone to several meet and greets at vanilla clubs and it is said before we attend that it is vanilla club and there has never been a problem,

06-25-2008, 01:54 AM	#12 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,288 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard	Re: swingers and non-swingers One thing to note is that the party in the first episode... I don't think that was meant to be a vanilla party... and the hosts DID NOT invite the vanilla couple. Now on the other hand, looking at next week's episode... there we are seeing the Millers combining their vanilla and swinger friends.

06-25-2008, 02:01 AM	#13 (permalink)
Chicup Not a potential *** Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 4,093 Location: Under the bed Status: Tired	Re: swingers and non-swingers If the swingers are REAL friends then they should be fine at a vanilla party. We have one couple that we invite to all the family stuff and other vanilla parties. I think the issue is that most swinger friends are not true friends beyond the swinging. Sure you might like each other and do things together but take away the swinging and there is nothing there. Now perhaps some you can't trust to keep their mouth shut, but we tend to avoid that type from the get go.

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