Fired because I wouldn't swing solo with my male manager

[Diamond06]

I need some opinions...I got a job waitressing at a pretty upscale restraunt,and me and my fiance' decided to have a threesome with my male manager.We engaged in some pretty hardcore sex on a few occassions but it was always know that I would NEVER do anything without my fiance'...Well I guess my boss thought I was a whore anyways,and tried to get my to suck he dick in the office after work.And when I turn him down he still continued to grab at my pants button and trying to kiss at me.So I told him that if he continued to fuck with me,he would no longer have a dick for me to suck.Well,the next day,I went into work,and one of the other managers said that I was fired.When I asked why she said,"It's because "my male manager" said that my cash outs were over fifty bucks short last night.So I had to leave.Should I fight it?I mean I wouldn't want the job now,I can get another one,but it's just the principle.Right?

[fun4Ds]

yes id fight it. they owe you a letter of recomandation. but you do know now dont mess at work it NEVER works . now as for you being grabbed thats fighting growns for me you have rights and they were crossed. you can fuck someone today and say no tommorow that is a fact of life and no means no. swingers or not. and to be called a thief just because you wont play now. the guy needs a wake up call. if someone is in management they dont do that period.

[WildMiCouple]

I'd look at it as one of life's little lessons.....don't play with co-workers.....and move on. You really don't have much to gain and a lot to lose. Sure.....you may get your job back(of which you can get another pretty easily), but look at the cost. Everyone at your work will know that you had a threesome with the manager. It may even get around the restaurant business and keep you from getting work elsewhere.

And like you said......you wouldn't want the job back anyway. Just move on. the sooner you put it behind you....the happier you'll be.

Good luck,
Brett

[lovedoctor]

Lesson learned: Don't shit where you eat. Move on! It's terrible that happened to you, be glad you can work elsewhere. And don't list that man as a reference!

[intuition897]

*sigh*...and this is why swinging is such an underground activity. Not because we're ashamed of it, but because of the bullshit (and the gargantuan assholes that produce said bullshit) that you have to deal with otherwise.

I guess you have to ask yourself one question: how important is it to you that Mr. Asshole gets his just desserts? As stated before, it very well could affect your job prospects elsewhere. But you could certainly drag his sorry ass down with you. <EG>

I'm an idealist, and the notion that one should just accept that she was sexually assaulted as "one of life's little lessons" nauseates me. I don't CARE that you shouldn't have been screwing around with your manager; you said no, he didn't listen. PERIOD. The reality of it, though, is that you've got all the damned cards stacked against you. What you were doing is considered immoral by the majority of folks out there, and they will be hard-pressed to ignore the circumstances. They may consider your activity just provocation (as in, "Well what did you expect?"). Then you have to consider what you're actually trying to win. Your job back? 'Cause you're not going to want it. This will essentially "out" you. It'll get you all kinds of attention that may be unwelcome. Your Mom and Dad are going to hear about this.

If none of the above bothers you, then go for it. Even if you don't actually go to court over it, you could approach the sleazebag and let him know that you WILL disclose everything to your mutual employer, and he WILL be dragged into court over sexual assault charges ('cause buddy, you've got a hearing problem!!). If he wants to avoid it, tell him you want a letter of recommendation. A good one. If he wants to claim that that's blackmail...well...he wanted to play hardball, now didn't he?

I'd love to just be completely out of the closet about our lifestyle. I really hate having to avoid certain discussions, and having to tell anything less than the truth. It just sucks, man!

[good times]

Chalk it up as a lesson learned and move on. If you try to fight it don't be surprised if you find that getting another job in the same industry becomes not as easy as you thought.

[Coupleinidaho]

Originally Posted by Diamond06

I need some opinions...I got a job waitressing at a pretty upscale restraunt,and me and my fiance' decided to have a threesome with my male manager.

(Mr. here) Another example of why you don't "shit where you eat." You could fight it, but if you do, your lifestyle will be known to quite a few people. You'll have to pick which is more important, your job or your private life.

[JnCC]

Originally Posted by Diamond06

Should I fight it?

Fight it how? Sue them? You'll probably have a problem finding an attorney who will take the case, since you've already had a consensual (and highly unconventional) sexual encounter with the boss. You can't say that you were "offended" or "harrassed" by him asking you to suck his dick, when you've already sucked his dick. Plus, they'll want to depose everybody you know...friends, family, neighbors, whoever. Do you want the whole world knowing you're a swinger? Does your boyfriend want the whole world to know he let's other men screw his girlfriend?

It's just the principle.Right?

No, there's a lot more at stake than just that. For one thing, many companies (including most of the "good ones" to work for), simply won't hire a person who has sued a previous employer. The lawyers who run ads on TV all day urging you to sue your boss, won't tell you that. They don't care if you never work for a "good" company. Trust me...employers have access to databases listing anybody who's ever sued a boss and why, and "sexual harrassment" is a biggie on their list of people NOT to hire.

You're young, and very lucky to learn such a valuable lesson at this age without it being a life-defining one. Find another job at a different restaurant, and this time don't fuck your boss. In fact, don't fuck anybody that has anything to do with your workplace. There are 330 million people living in the United States. At most, there are a dozen or so you shouldn't have sex with.

I'd say your odds of finding somebody are still pretty good...

[fun4Ds]

ok iv had a shower and cooled off a bit. i guess you have seen the leson learned. but i would call the labor board in your area. its a free call and you wouldnt be sueing anybody. but here in our state they can and will get you a letter of reconmendation. most companys would want a quiet good buy. and the bastard would have some explaining to do. for all thats worth. i personaly just couldnt take the short drawer thing.

[insatabledesire]

Well young lady, you are so right. The idea that he is covering his ass does bother me. Why would he attempt tp want you. The back down away. Myself I am a self employed male. Have no desire to " EVER " attempt to put myself in a on going law suit. Either started me me, or any co workers. Just doesn't make alot of sense. Unless ever so obvious, to both parties are consenting adults. Good luck sexy !!!!!!

[sexyshelby]

Sorry to hear about your situation. But it's probably best to just put it behind you. As much as I would like to fight it, if I were in the situation, it's probably not worth the time or effort.

Good luck

~SS

[Darter02]

Damn the injustice of this really annoys the hell out of me. I also hate the idea of you’re not standing up for yourself but at the same time can see it’s a fight maybe not worth getting into.

It still infuriates me! I have always hated bullies and those who abuse their power!

[MONKEY81]

GET EVEN WITH THE ASSHOLE!!!!
He screwed you, and your job, I'm not sure as how far you are willing to go(I would not sue him), but some sugar in the gas tank is always good (just make sure you dont get caught). I can not stand the people that say "don't shit where you eat." I work in a small boutique, i'm the only male and there are 6 other women working with me. we are best friends, I have not screwed all of them only 4 but everyone knows about it and nothing changed. we are still best freinds and everyone knows. we maintain our profesionalism, and we go out of our way to please each other. But I hope that you get the asshole
good luck

[djjwp]

Never S%^T where you eat. Enough said.

[blondie77]

I agree with whats been said by everyone above.....it is a tricky situation. And personally, I wouldn't let this one go. I mean, you don't have to sue the guy, but I would definately talk to your mutual boss and let him know what happened (the short story..don't go into details of course, and what you tell him is your business). At this point you probably wouldn't want your job back, but ask for a recomendation...you deserve that much at least. And if the mutual boss was smart, he'd see the potential for a lawsuit and give you the recom. I agree with you that it is the principal of the situation...but I wouldn't go so far as putting sugar in his gas tank or taking him to court. Just let him know that you mean business and that you won't let your future employment with another company be ruined by his lack of respect and not giving you a recomendation. Just my thoughts. Good luck.