Fired after taking a coworker to the club

[ohcurcpl]

Back in October I had a female co-worker who wanted me to take her to our club. I was a bit hesitant, but figured, what the heck. So hubby and I took her out. Nothing major happened, we were giving her a massage that she seemed to enjoy, and that was it. She ended up leaving not too long after, and hubby and I had started talking to another couple. This was on a Saturday night and on Monday morning she briefly said that she had fun, but we really coudn't talk privately about it. A few hiurs later, I was called into the managers office where he and the HR lady told me I was being fired.
I had only worked there for 7 months, but I was told "it's just not working out". Now, I have no proof that I was fired because I was in the lifestyle, but I have an idea. I have no recourse against this company because Ohio is a "employed at-will" state. Yes, I got un-employment, but thats not the point. Now, when I am trying to find a job, I have to list them on a resume. By law this company can only state that I worked there, what my duties were, and how long I worked there, however, I still have not found a job. If I was discriminated against, I can't prove it. Any sugestions?

[tracy1878]

only suggestion i have is to learn from this and keep your lifestyle separate from your work. I know it's a hard way to learn a lesson. Try posting your resume on monster, and i know the Columbus dispatch has a big employment section on Sundays

Good luck finding something else, sorry to hear this has happened to you

[Spoomonkey]

I agree with Tracy. Unfortunately this is one of those "hindsight" scenarios where there really isn't much good advice. It could be that they had made the decision on Friday and had nothing at all to do with your club experience... But, of course, it is a little "coincidental" - so I can see why it is something your having a tough time shaking...

But, the bottom line is you need to shake it off and forget about it. There really isn't much you can do otherwise.

You've learned a hard lesson and maybe posting this will keep other folks from making the same mistake...

I am very sorry this has happened to you.

Spoomonkey

[pumpkins1970]

Hello curohcpl,we're sorry to hear of your unfortunate experience. I don't know what recourse you may have, but it reminded me of a woman I worked with a few years ago. Well she and I work in the same department of a large(ok, HUGE company), she was rather attractive, great personality and a lot of fun to be arround. Well, working with a predominatly male workforce, she was beleagured constantly with offers to go out, dinner, drinks, etc. Knowing full well that she intended to make a career out of her present job, hopefully climbing the ladder so to speak, she politely turned everyone down. She explained to the guys that no matter who she did or didn't go out with, no matter the outcome, people would talk about them. Then if there was any type of break-up or other issues, the shop gossip would start,and usually with mostly males, it would be all against her, ie. she's a slut, she cheated on him, she'll just sleeping arround to get ahead, etc. So she chose the high road, remained her course, and is now one of the more respected manager that I have to deal with time to time. Her advise to other woman, (and men for that matter) "Don't get your meat where you get your bread!"

We wish you luck and take care...Mr. Pump XOXO XXX

[HappyPeople]

Unfortunate situations like this are exactly why I am in the closet at work. The Mister is open about it at his job because he works in a less professional environment than I do.

Best wishes in finding new work and sorry that you had to learn this lesson the hard way.

[EvilMJ]

My first question is did you ask why they were letting you go? You do have a right to know the reasoning behind it, they can't just say they are firing you. There has to be grounds for it or it is wrongful dismissal.

Based on the fact that they let you go alone does not mean that it is due to the evening you had with a coworker. Sure it is very suspect that it happened so soon after, but some times it is just a coincidence.

I guess the lesson here is never play with coworkers (a firm rule of ours), discretion at all costs. I don't share my lifestyle with family, vanilla friends, neighbours or work. That way no one can talk, it won't get around.

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by EvilMJ

Based on the fact that they let you go alone does not mean that it is due to the evening you had with a coworker. Sure it is very suspect that it happened so soon after, but some times it is just a coincidence.

Dito

I wonder, too, what reason they gave to you for being let go.

Being fired or rejected is a great blow to one's ego. Sometimes we try to find a reason why that's outside of our own control to protect our self preservation.

[Pepper & Drew]

Originally Posted by EvilMJ

You do have a right to know the reasoning behind it, they can't just say they are firing you. There has to be grounds for it or it is wrongful dismissal.

Unfortunately, in an at-will work state, you can fire anyone for any reason as long as it is not for a discriminatory reason determined federally by the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (race, disability--if it does not interfere with job duties, age, religion, pregnancy). Swingers are not considered a protected class of citizens, so they can fire you for being one. Now, they'll pay unemployment on you if you decide to file if they can't satisfy the requirements for proof that your termination was warranted, but in at-will states, you can be fired because they don't like your hair color. I don't know how it works in your neck of the woods in Canada, but Florida and Alabama are both at-will, and this is the case.

Pepper

[JnCC]

If the company you worked for is big enough to have an HR person, it probably takes them more than a day to fire an employee, unless they're shooting up the place. Even when they are firing somebody "for cause," they have to protect themselves against possible EEOC complaints. That means documenting their work performance, any and all attempts to correct deficiencies in their performance, employee counseling, etc. etc.

While it's true that in a right-to-work state, it's relatively easy to fire somebody, doing it in a manner that won't expose the company to a long, drawn-out EEOC investigation can be a very involved process. It takes time.

My guess is that the decision to let you go happened some time before the Monday after you visited the club with your co-worker. That doesn't mean that your choice of lifestyle had no bearing in their decision, only that the fact that you went on that particular Saturday night did not.

If you want to know why they fired you, you might try filing a complaint with the EEOC. Get the Government lawyers (which cost you nothing) talking to their corporate counsel (which costs them $100-$200/hr). You should know pretty quickly what their reasons were for letting you go.

Lastly, the list of people who have been fired from jobs, and gone on to bigger and much better-paying jobs, is longer than you might think. I would know, because I'm on it, as are most of my friends and even a few people who regularly post to this board. Many times, the reason an employee doesn't work out is because they're too big for the job. My advice to you is to learn what you can from this experience, then go out and find a position that will fully utilize your talents. In the meantime, check out this guy - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lee_Iacocca

Good luck in your search....

[lovedoctor]

Sounds like it was a lesson hard learned.

We don't talk about the lifestyle with ANYONE we work with. I own my own business, so I won't get fired - but in my case, being the boss makes it an absolute no-no. Even with the hubby, the rule is "ya don't shit where ya eat..."

[Dynamar]

Surrender I'm I the only one wondering how this woman knew the OP was in the lifestyle to begin with?

[ohcurcpl]

Thanks for all of the advice. It is a hard lesson to learn. What I was told as the reasoning was, "it's just not working out". The company is very small and it only has 1 HR person. So, all it would take would be a phone call from the manager to the HR person.
Now, how my co-worker found out is a funny story. We had gone to a store that advertises at the club. Mention this ad and get 20% off your purchase. While the co-worker was in the fitting room, I asked the clerk about the discount. Even though I didn't buy anything, my co-worker did. The clerk at the store told her she was getting the club discount. She asked what club discount. The clerk told her, as I was trying to say it didn't matter. On the drive back to work, she asked if I went to some kind of orgy club. I told her no, it was a very respectable club. I showed her the website. She was very excited about it, and asked if she could go. After discussing it with my hubby, and being reassured by her that she wouldn't say anything, we agreed. So, I think that maybe she was feeling guilty or something. But I told her straight up what she could expect. I am a very trusting person, but I can guarantee it won't happen again. head bang

Spoo: thanks for the empathy!

[lovedoctor]

I was wondering if you could get away with just not mentioning the last place of employment on your new job applications? You could say you were on sabatical to help care for a sick family member or something... I guess they could find out, eh? But I would try that. Just pretend they didn't exist.

[JnCC]

Originally Posted by lovedoctor

I was wondering if you could get away with just not mentioning the last place of employment on your new job applications? You could say you were on sabatical to help care for a sick family member or something... I guess they could find out, eh?

ANY falsification or intentional omission on a job application is usually cause for dismissal. Then, when you apply at the next job, you have TWO recent dismissals to explain.

A lot depends on why a person was fired. "It's not working out" isn't much of a reason. It could be that they were just downsizing, or somebody wanted to bring a friend or relative into that position. On the other hand, if you were caught stealing, or committed some gross sexual impropriety in the workplace, you might have some 'splainin' to do.

Any time you apply for a job, you're quite possibly sitting across from somebody who has, themselves, been fired from a job at some point in their careers. Unless you really need that particular job, and whatever you did at the last job would render you completely ineligible for the one you're applying for, you're much better off to 'fess up. Be contrite, don't speak ill about your previous employer, and own up to whatever mistakes you made on that job. It's OK to say "I really didn't fit into their workplace as well as we both would have liked. This company seems very different...I think I would fit in well here"

If that doesn't seem to be working, you could always close out the interview with a "And I give one HELL of a blowjob..."

[ohcurcpl]

If that doesn't seem to be working, you could always close out the interview with a "And I give one HELL of a blowjob..."[/QUOTE]

Have we met before

hee hee hee