Threesome with wife's male coworker

[SWConnecticut]

My wife has been flirting with a male coworker for the last several months. She has told me all about her conversations and we both find it very hot. She does not see this person all the time, since he works in another department and spends most of his time in another office location. We include him frequently in our fantasies and both of us find it very exciting. I have been encouraging her to take things to the next level and see if he might be interested in a threesome with us. During a conversation last week, she strongly hinted to him that she would be interested in doing something more than flirting. She asked him to think about it and we expect to hear from him this week. We have seen many posts with different thoughts on swinging with coworkers but we feel very good about this. Can anyone share with us any positive experiences they might have had in a similar circumstance?

[DBStPete]

It's not guaranteed terrible, it's just quite risky, both that it will be disappointing sexually, and damaging in other areas of your life. But is it sometimes wonderful? Sure! Lots of risky activities are like that.

We came at things back-ways around. We first did MFM, at my suggestion, well before we were married, and we married at 19. This was with close mutual friends. We've done it most other ways since, that aren't "swinging", including attempts at poly. We finally came around to playing with avowed swingers about 10 years ago. In my opinion, it's far the easiest way to go, and the most effective in producing great sex (although still not foolproof by any means) *and* good friends. Yes, it's hard to make that initial step, but once you do (at least if you've been using these other methods) the only thing you'll wonder is why you didn't do it sooner.

It's vastly easier to find friends among swingers than it is to find great multi-partner sex among friends - unless you happen to be particularly blessed in your friendships.

I think you should reconsider, but if you go for it, best of luck and have a hot time!

[fun_pairTX]

Man is the only creature stupid enough to crap near his food source.................

[coupleinCT]

It sounds good, except for the work thing. It seems like no matter where I've worked, people always know who is sleeping with who. Now, if you get past the co-workers who are friends thing and move on to friends who happen to work together, prior to the sex, I'd say it is OK, but be very cautious, as workplace gossip will stick with you for years. It might not be fair, but it is true.

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by fun_pairTX

Man is the only creature stupid enough to crap near his food source.................

*giggle...giggle*

I agree with DBStPete. I really think it would be best to reconsider this. There are so many potential problems that can arise.

But, if ya'll have your hearts set on this particular guy, lots of luck and enjoy.

[good times]

I agree with the above posters, not a good idea mixing sex and work. I know someone who started a relationship with someone at work and a couple years later he was her boss, it could get ugly so be carefull.

[ALilOEverything]

I have a fantasy involving a single male co-worker but I've decided to leave it at that, just a fantasy. I talked about it with my husband and we both have this fear of indecent proposals down the road that might make it feel uncomfortable to work around him later on. Such as, I worry he would ask me to cheat because "well we've already done it, so what's the big deal". I would be more inclined to have it be one of my husband's male co-workers, that way I wouldn't see him one on one on a regular basis.

[DBStPete]

Speaking of fantasies, B works in a motorcycle shop and hence is around all kinds of men. We've had plenty of fantasies about her co-workers (several of whom, for some reason, have felt compelled to mention their dick size to her), and even some customers, but she decided uh-uh, no way, not at work, ever. For the reasons cited above. It almost always seems to get out.

To be honest, in swinging a lot of times the fantasies are as good or better than the reality anyways, so trading one for the other ain't all bad.... so long as you don't have to do it *all* the time.

[TNT]

Originally Posted by ALilOEverything

I have a fantasy involving a single male co-worker but I've decided to leave it at that, just a fantasy. I talked about it with my husband and we both have this fear of indecent proposals down the road that might make it feel uncomfortable to work around him later on. Such as, I worry he would ask me to cheat because "well we've already done it, so what's the big deal". I would be more inclined to have it be one of my husband's male co-workers, that way I wouldn't see him one on one on a regular basis.

I think you might have something there ALilO...

We have played with one of Ted's co-workers before and had no problems with it.

But...I would never approach a man that I worked with for a play session, due to the possibility of indecent proposals like you stated above. With one of Ted's male co-workers he would 'know' Ted, where as a male co-worker of mine would not.

I might consider inviting a female co-worker of mine to play, but again, would not feel comfortable inviting a female co-worker of Ted's.

Does that make any sense?

Inviting a co-worker to play is a dangerous thing, but one of the opposite sex that you would see on a regular basis to me seems twice as dangerous and in the long run it's probably best not to mix work and pleasure.

Teresa

[wkyadventurers]

In 1988, I became regional manager for a company that leased chevron stations. On a referral I hired a college student/dropout that was having a bad time in his life due to a DUI. A few months later, a stunning beauty walke din to buy a pack of cigarettes and saw that we were havign so much fun at work that she later came back and applied for a job. Within a couple of weeks, the 3 of us were having threesomes on a regular basis (much to the dismay of her live-in boyfriend).

That was 16 years ago. They have been married since 1990. I was best man at their wedding. We have been close friends every since, even still share a bit of swinging from time to time. I have never had closer friends, don't think I ever will.

My memories of this couple are among the best I have. I hope you have just as much success.

[Dr Jekyll]

There are definitely success stories out there about couples swinging with co-workers, but there are more sad tales. I'll go with the general consensus: Reconsider, but if you do have lots of fun!

[SWConnecticut]

Thanks to all who have posted responses. My wife and I have talked about this alot. She has know this person at her office for about 4 years now. He works in an unrelated department and there is almost 0% chance they would ever be working for one another. We have laid out some ground rules and my wife has started to talk to him about them so he understands our concerns and where we are coming from. She said he seems very cool with all of them. We'll see where this leads but right now things look very positive. We appreciate the warnings and feedback and have kept them in mind. If anyone else has anything to share, positive or negative, we would love to hear.
Thanks again.

[44mwm]

Hello SW Connecticut.........My guess It would not be a good Idea for I have been there,and when I rejected repeated oncours it became difficult to work together....Since I am not working near you I would love to chat.......HMMM>>>>>>>

[Greg & Sheryl]

About 10 years ago, Greg and his first wife asked Greg's boss if he would be willing to join them in a threesome. He politely declined, and it was fortunate that the proposal did not affect the workplace one way or the other.