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Thread: How do I bring up swinging with our friends?

  1. #1

    Question How do I bring up swinging with our friends?

    We would like to know how to bring up the subject of swinging with a couple who used to be our neighbors and will be visiting shortly. We normally wouldn't bring up the subject of swinging but one night when they visited, before they moved away, he blurted out that he shares (meaning his wife). The look he had when he said that was very serious. I was a little shocked by this because we would never have imagined them swinging. We are not sure they swing but after I mentioned this to my wife she seemed very interested. We don't want to destroy our friendship with them but we feel it could only add to it.
    Does anyone else have a similar story that may help us?
    "The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."
    - Tom Clancy

  2. #2

    Default

    I don't have a similar story, but I can toss in my two cents worth which may or may not help you.

    If you are relatively sure that this couple could be interested in getting more intimate, then I would suggest first that you talk to your wife about it and make sure that she is 'really' interested before proceeding to the next stage. If she is, then on the evening that you meet with this other couple I would suggest that both you and your wife drop some subtle complimentary hints to the spouses of the other couple. See if the door of opportunity opens (meaning they return some flirtateous gestures) and let it flow from there. If they don't seem to be receptive, then I would drop it. Your friendship would not be harmed and they will have appreciated the compliments.

    Good luck!

    Lori
    Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

  3. #3

    Default friends

    If you don't already have one, quickly have a hot tub installed. It seems socially acceptable for everyone tp jump nekkid into a hot tub and can easily lead to more if interested.
    J

  4. #4

    Default play cards

    play cards until someone (like you or your wife) suggests strip poker. If this is well received - then it opens the door... if not then - it was just a joke.

    good luck.

  5. #5

    Default

    Send the guys out for beer and have the ladies talk about it. Women talk about sex with more curiosity I think. This is not the best advice, but hey...gotta start somewhere.
    M&M

    Melts in your mouth, not in your hand

  6. #6

    Default

    Subtle is definitely better. As Lori suggested, drop a few hints during the course of their visit:

    1. Meet them at the door in your sexiest underwear, or entirely naked.

    2. Tell them your guest room(s) is/are being redecorated, so they'll have to share with the two of you.

    3. Use language creatively and in an understated fashion:

    "We've been looking forward to a visit that really swings!"

    "Hopefully the four of us will be able to swap some memorable experiences."

    "We'd love to share everything with you."

    "We can't remember the last time we had sex. Well, with each other, that is."


    4. In your best Austin Powers' voice ask either of them, "Have you ever put the 'ger' in swinger, baby?"

    5. If all else fails, after dinner, have your wife take his hand and lead him from the table saying, "See you two in the morning."


  7. #7

    Default

    OMGoodness! Brit_Pair!!! YOU CALL DROPPING THOSE HINTS SUBTLE?!! Geesh, I am either VERY old or VERY nerdish!!!


    Lori
    Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

  8. #8

    Talking

    Brit_pair, thoose ideas are great. We can't stop laughing. We're going to have to show them those ideas.
    "The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."
    - Tom Clancy

  9. #9

    Default Hum Lets have fun

    I have to agree that the two ladies alone would talk about it much faster and the guys could joke about it together as well. We paly a game called quarters, a little bit of beer in a glass , you bounce it off the table, if it makes it in you pick who has to drink it, after everyone gets alittle tipsy it turns to sprip quaters, you have to drink and take off a piece of cloths. It is really fun :0 )

  10. #10

    Default Re: Hum Lets have fun

    Originally posted by Terrileex
    I have to agree that the two ladies alone would talk about it much faster and the guys could joke about it together as well. We paly a game called quarters, a little bit of beer in a glass , you bounce it off the table, if it makes it in you pick who has to drink it, after everyone gets alittle tipsy it turns to sprip quaters, you have to drink and take off a piece of cloths. It is really fun :0 )

    I remember playing quarters at parties after finishing high school. I got quite good at it. There is a game similar to that called chandaliers that we played which involved 4 or more people. Take a large glass and set it in the middle of smaller glasses which represent each player. Obeject is to make the quarter into any one of the glasses. If the quarter lands in your glass you must drink. If the quarter lands in the large glass in the center everyone drinks, but the last person to finsih their drink has to drink the glass in the middle. As you can imagine this will cause many people to become tipsy real quickly.
    "The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."
    - Tom Clancy

  11. #11

    Default

    We like to leave alcohol out of the question. Oh, a drink or two is okay, but deliver us from playing with drunks. We think a real bad attitude could arise in the morning if a couple played while they were drunk.

    Whether its politics, salesmanship, or swinging, you learn a lot more by asking questions than by making statements. Therefore, we like to ask questions that can't be answered by "yes" or "no." Our favorite is "How do y'all feel about swinging?" It is best for the wife to ask the question.

    Some of the responses we've heard are:

    "Oh, I could never do that!" (We immediately changed the subject.)

    "Well, we've talked about it a lot." (Rather than adding a thought yourself, look to the other spouse for his/her answer.)

    "My God! I thought you'd never ask!" (He took Mrs. Alura in his arms and kissed her; his wife did the same with Mr. Alura.)

    "Do you mean dancing?"
    "No."
    "Good!"
    "We want to try it."

    Alura

  12. #12

    Default

    Although we like to have drinks together we would never think of swinging with anyone if we thought they'd had to many. Mrs. wiscpl enjoys it when I've had just a few more than I should have because I have a tendency to go on and on and on.
    But there could be unintended consequences from to much alcohol. We would much rather spend the rest of our lives being very good friends than to ruin it for just one night with them. That is why we will be cautious.
    "The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."
    - Tom Clancy

  13. #13

    Default wear a Tshirt of your favorite board

    You can also both order your swingers Board Tshirt and wear it the day your neighbours are coming... it's less embarrassing that opening the door naked I guess.

    Here is a view of the TShirt at http://www.swingersboard.com/store/front.jpg

    The good news is that You still can have them for free if you reach your 100th post before they visit you

    Anyways Good Luck and have fun.

    JC
    Le Monde est ma maison et l'Univers mon horizon - El Mundo es mi casa y el Universo es mi horizonte - The World is my home and the Universe is my horizon... but my Heart is in Canada (Vancouver precisely)

  14. #14

    Default

    women are definitely best for the subtle approach. Subtle hints to a man would just wash over. You are best off taking the direct approach with men. Strip and smile.

  15. #15

    Wink

    We just had this happen... we went to dinner at a friends house... Dinner was over, this was a three bottle dinner (wine) so everyone was feeling very mellow. We suggested cards and Euchre was brought up. We suggested strip Euchre and everyone seemed intrigued. Now mind you we have never played strip Euchre so we made the rules up as we went along... turned out very well!!

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