Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 28

Thread: Do you play with Married Males without their partners?

  1. #1

    Default Do you play with Married Males without their partners?

    I am seeing this come up more and more. Married males playing without their partners for various reasons.

    Is there any good reason that you would say yes to this situation? Do you care or if you were interested would it matter that he is playing without his partner? Do you check with the other partner for permission? Or do you believe the guy who says his wife is okay with this?

    For us this is just too much drama. We say no to any involvement with any male or female playing in the lifestyle without their partners. We are not interested in what kind of permission they may have or meeting up with the partner to hear about it....by the way partners who play separately are different we are talking about those whose partners are not involved in the lifestyle.
    Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. "Harvey Fierstein"

  2. #2

    Default Re: Do you play with Married Males without their partners?

    We say NO, also and we don't believe that crap like..."I have permission from my wife"...bunch of bull. Even guys that say they are single sometimes ain't. Better to stay with couples. Agree - less drama and more fun.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Do you play with Married Males without their partners?

    On one of our profiles (SLS) we were getting too many messages from single men, or married-it's okay with my wife, she's not interested-men, so I made a few changes. Here's what it says on this subject:

    "If you are a single man, don't waste our and your time by contacting us, we're not interested. If you are part of a "couple" but she doesn't play anymore, then feel free to contact us with name, address and phone number where we can contact your wife or whatever. After contacting her, confirming your and her identity, confirming that she is okay with you playing without her, then we will be more than happy to tell you that we're still not interested. Without her, you're just a single man with a wedding ring. "

    The only exception is that She can play solo or we will play solo with a woman part of a couple, but only if we've played with the couple before and everyone involved is okay with the deal. I'm away a lot during the week, so this allows She to accept something from one of our friends if I happen to be away.
    A Man's own manner and character is what becomes him - Cicero

  4. #4

    Default Re: Do you play with Married Males without their partners?

    I am sure I have posted about this particular situation before, so if you have heard this story feel free to move to the next post.

    There is a couple who are basicaly in a polyamouros relationship with another couple, they all live together. The husband of couple one and the wife of couple two one no longer want to swing and are happy as a foursome, but they did give the other spouces approval to swing, but with a select group of people.

    So Hubby of couple two and the wife of couple one do play together. We have gotten to know all four of the people and consider them good friends and very trustworthy. They prefer threesome with another woman, but ocassionally will do a full swap. I fall into the threesome catagory right now.

    We have also all agreed that if we are at a club/dance or party and the hubby of this couple and I want to play together then that is fine with all of us.

    So for the most part I would never include a married man into our play dates unless I knew his wife and we were all comfortable with the agreement
    "Well! Evil to some is always good to others." - Jane Austen

  5. #5

    Default Re: Do you play with Married Males without their partners?

    No.

  6. #6

    Default Re: Do you play with Married Males without their partners?

    I've actually been that guy. And in both situations, the other couple talked to my wife on the phone to make sure everything was kosher. Clean conscience everywhere for everyone.

  7. #7

    Default Re: Do you play with Married Males without their partners?

    Quote Originally Posted by Amanda69
    For us this is just too much drama. We say no to any involvement with any male or female playing in the lifestyle without their partners. We are not interested in what kind of permission they may have or meeting up with the partner to hear about it....by the way partners who play separately are different we are talking about those whose partners are not involved in the lifestyle.
    Sounds like we think alike in this regard, we don't have any shortage of potential playmates without dealing with the drama of people playing with or without their partners permission. Our main problem is finding enough time and coordinating scheduling with the people we already want to play with. Taking or even having the time to check with the other spouse to establish permission is something we are highly unlikely to do.
    R (He is R, she is P)

  8. #8

    Default Re: Do you play with Married Males without their partners?

    Quote Originally Posted by Amanda69
    I am seeing this come up more and more. Married males playing without their partners for various reasons.

    Is there any good reason that you would say yes to this situation? Do you care or if you were interested would it matter that he is playing without his partner? Do you check with the other partner for permission? Or do you believe the guy who says his wife is okay with this?

    For us this is just too much drama. We say no to any involvement with any male or female playing in the lifestyle without their partners. We are not interested in what kind of permission they may have or meeting up with the partner to hear about it....by the way partners who play separately are different we are talking about those whose partners are not involved in the lifestyle.
    If you have read my story My first MFM - A gift from J. I posted under "swinger stories". you know that I am now a single again guy. And yes, there is always going to be drama in my life. There is the drama of loosing the love of my life. There is the drama of finding it difficult to find someone new that could fill a little of the void J left behind. There is the drama of telling people that if she were alive, she'd probably be ok with me swinging along. And I sure do wish you could ask her if she is OK with me being involved with other people sexually. I can only speak from my own personal experience but sometimes I have found the greatest people when you get past all the drama. One really nice single woman I have met lately won't play with me because I am no longer married. She only plays with married men (she says) because they don't talk about their sexual escapades. So what the heck, I can't answer your question because I'm not a couple. I just wish there were a lot more understanding couples that would like to include me. Oh, well...go figure...

  9. #9

    Default Re: Do you play with Married Males without their partners?

    Hi Everyone,
    Laurie and I got an email from a couple off SLS. They were both married, but not to each other. Sounds like a way to get a two-fer, not one but two enraged spouses showing up at the house.
    We would play with a married man without his wife only if it was a standing relationship with the couple, and for some reason she just didn't want to be involved that evening. We'd also have to know for sure that she was on board with it. We had that arrangement with friends regarding visits from Aunt Flo. Threesomes smoothed out the monthly dry spells nicely.
    Jeff

  10. #10

    Default Re: Do you play with Married Males without their partners?

    You know, we have seen a few ads on SLS like that. "Both married but not to each other". I don't know how many couples would take them up on something like that but it seems a little too risky to me. Besides, then I think......so they are both having an extramarital affair and they STILL need or desire more spice. .....Whew, it exhausts me to think about it.

  11. #11

    Default Re: Do you play with Married Males without their partners?

    When we were actively swinging, we would not consider 99% of the married solo players, male or female. That one percent had to meet so many requirements that we didn't realistically expect it to happen. Still hasn't.

    We'd only consider it if we could be certain that everyone was in the know, and that they had enough experience and a good enough relationship that they could do something like this. I couldn't be because they wanted to get away from each other, or because they didn't care who fucked whom. It was preferable that this was just another kiss & tell kind of game for them, and that they looked forward to screwing each other silly when the Mr. or Mrs. got home. That would be cool. The other possibility is that the couple would be close friends, and there was a great deal of trust between all four of us.

    In any case, the comfort level needs to be WAY high.
    Fear is a symptom of ignorance. Knowledge is the cure.

  12. #12

    Default Re: Do you play with Married Males without their partners?

    This is a great forum topic with that fact being that if you have been on any of the great membership personals websites for the lifestyle, at one time or another, you have received a message that reads something like....

    "great looking, successful, well endowed, energetic, fun, single male here.... well, I play single... I am married, but the spouse does not participate in the lifestyle, but says it is OK for me to have fun"....

    or my all time favorite that ends something like...

    "... and the wife is on a 6 month job assignment in another state, and says I need to have my fun while she is away."



    Personally, male or female, we feel like someone "swinging" behind the back of the other spouse/partner, to simply put it, cheating!


    Recently, we had been communicating with a gorgeous "single" lady. For a couple of months, she had actually pursued us via email and chat, and we had spoke to her on the phone several times.


    Finally, we worked out the details, and set an entire day aside, as we already knew the 3 of us would get along wonderfully, and chemistry would not be an issue. So, the day finally arrived.....


    She showed up in all of her beauty, was very sexy, and even more yummy than the photos has shown. She and the wife hit it off very well, and I was "licking my chops" so to speak, with the anticipation of having both of these lovely creatures all to myself.


    About 2 hours into our afternoon together, having share a lovely meal, drinks and stimulating conversation... the time to take things to the next level arrived...... so, off to bedroom we go!


    Just before the "playing" got to a serious level, a slip happened on the part of this lovely lady, and the wife and I both just looked at each other. It had not escaped either of us.


    She had slipped that she was Married! So we politely questioned her, and she actually was very open to discuss it with us, and to be honest, from what she said (if it were the actual case) we felt for her and the situation.


    At that point, without even having to say a word to one another, my beautiful wife and I knew what we had to do, and we stopped "encounter" at that point. She was married, and we have strong beliefs in marriage, and we could not take it any further.


    Afterwards, we both talked about how difficult it had been. This lady would have been lots of fun. Sex would have been outstanding, and maybe be more than a one time opportunity.


    Not patting ourselves on the back. Said all of that to make the point that for us, the lifestyle is about fun, excitement, variety, and more! In our fun and enjoyment, we do not want to ever be in a place that we might feel responsible for a marriage or relationship ending because the person gets caught!

  13. #13

    Default Re: Do you play with Married Males without their partners?

    We have knowingly played with married men in the past. Early in our swing lifestyle we had the opinion that we are not the morality police. As we have matured, both in the lifestyle and in life, our opinions have changed. In the beginning we also had so many rules regarding swinging we had to write them down, now they are reduced to two. Now we will not knowingly play with a married man without the expressed verbal consent of his wife. This had happened but always with a man that we have played with as a couple. This has also happened with a married woman.

    Is it conceivable that one of our may MFM has included a married man without our knowing? Yes. In fact it is probable. However, if we know or even suspect that he is married we won't go there.
    Multiple orgasms are proof that God is a woman.

  14. #14

    Default Re: Do you play with Married Males without their partners?

    Not without knowing the wife (or husband). There are a couple of guys at a club we often go to and their wives have dropped out of swinging (health, menopause, working too much) and since everyone knows them, they do get to play. Sometimes the wives do show up to play or socialize so we know they are okay with it.

    Someone we don't know, M or F and married, wouldn't be a playmate. We don't like cheaters.
    Evel Knievel died of natural causes.

  15. #15

    Default Re: Do you play with Married Males without their partners?

    NO
    Your friend,
    Prettylady
    To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Tags for this Thread

Similar Threads

  1. For the non-poly crowd, # of play partners
    by cocpl2007 in What Do You Want Out of Swinging?
    Replies: 23
    01-13-2008, 05:50 PM
  2. Replies: 43
    06-07-2003, 01:31 AM

Bookmarks

Bookmarks