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  1. #31
    I'll think about it LikeMinds321's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's our next move?

    I just realized that kids are probably getting out of school - if they haven't already - for the summer.

    When does this couple even expect to find time to play during the day this summer with 11 kids home all day?

    LM

  2. #32
    Swingers Board Addict
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    Default Re: What's our next move?

    Quote Originally Posted by LikeMinds321
    This is getting better all the time.

    Why do you think they told you they have an ongoing relationship with another couple? Is this to suggest they don't know when they'll have time to fit you in? Could they be trying to string you along?

    Graduations, confirmations and birthdays aren't usually celebrated during daytime weekday hours, when kids are in school. Isn't this the very time they wanted to play? Why would these activities get in the way of a one-hour lunch meet up?

    Who is writing to you, do you know for sure? Is it him or her. Since they live in different locations they've each got their own e-mail address. Only one may be able to access SLS at their home. How often are these two even together, with two households and 11 children between them?

    How about telling them you want to set up a phone call - all four of you at the same time - next week before developing your relationship further?

    See what they say.

    LM
    This is kind of what we expected to hear.... In addition to the 'cheating on spouse' issue, we now have a 'stringing us along issue'.

    Having personally read their messages, we don't expect them to be open to the idea of a near-term ("next week") phone call.

    We will be moving on (without prejudice) to the hundreds of other local attractive couples who want to meet us for daytime play.

  3. #33
    Here to Stay LICouple4u's Avatar
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    LiCouple4u

    Default Re: What's our next move?

    I wouldn't jump in and say 'move on.' I would say that if you're not comfy waiting, then forget about them. Having them contact you after the communion/graduation season passes couldn't hurt, if you are interested that is.

    If you have no desire to meet them with new info that you've learned through chatting, then by all means, move on and forget about them.

    I know for us, Christmas season is super busy for us due to my work and we may not be able to contact people so fast, so we told people that and we hooked up with them after New Years It was well worth the wait
    Mrs. LiCouple4u
    Just your average married couple seeking friends with benefits :fun:

  4. #34
    You get what you give NandTfromCA's Avatar
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    NandTfromCA

    Default Re: What's our next move?

    Consider this a good thing…a learning experience. If we get suspicious, the first thing we do is request that their female half call our female half. If they continue to try and converse via email, we politely ask them to give us a call to discuss.

    It’s seems to weed out the time-wasters pretty quickly. They either:
    1. Call, and we plan to get together- Great! We meet new friends.
    2. Disappear, never to be heard from again- Great! We just saved time.
    3. Disappear for a little while and then email us a couple weeks later (in which case we reiterate our request)- Great! Now they get blocked.

    Even if everything looks great we try to always make sure the girls have a change to talk before we meet a couple for the first time. It helps to begin building a comfort level before even meeting.

    The other thing is we can be extremely direct. IE. “You guys seem really cool and we are looking forward to meeting you. In our experience when couples are never able to meet in the evening, something fishy is going on. We doubt it’s the case with you two but we have to admit that it has crossed our mind. Could you make us feel certain that that is not the case?”

    That could piss people off, even if they are genuine in their story, but we figure it is worth the risk. If that kind of directness offends them, they probably aren’t a fit for us anyway.




    Quote Originally Posted by 2jersey
    We will be moving on (without prejudice) to the hundreds of other local attractive couples who want to meet us for daytime play.
    That's the swinger sprirt!!!


    EDITED out the typos
    Last edited by NandTfromCA; 05-17-2006 at 12:23 AM.
    ------------------------------------
    "Live your life like your ass is on fire"
    -Unknown

  5. #35
    Oh...Why not?... DBL D's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's our next move?

    I'm the last guy to say a final good-bye to a couple even if they don't e-mail in a timely or necessary fashion. I even hold out hope that someone's attitude will change as time goes by. I never give up on something I feel good about. If this couple is just stringing you along, they are doing it the right way. They are letting you know that if you think you are having trouble setting up something with them the reason may be a lack of time (hence the notification about playing with another couple.) They also may be saying that because they want to show you, somehow, that they are real and just very busy.

    Let's face it...Everybody does it differently. Go with the flow or make your own waves.

    I'd be patient with them but wouldn't concentrate on them. The problem is when they say they are ready to meet, or what ever and you are too busy to see them. That would be a twist, wouldn't it?

    Male D
    "Just nod if you can hear me..."

    David Gilmour

  6. #36
    Care to join us??? jennandjamesinm's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's our next move?

    I would just put them on the back burner for now. It is possible that life has just gotten overwhelming for them - especially with 11 kids

    We had a similar situation where we were contacted by a couple last summer, but we could never get around to meeting them - between our 3 boys, a wedding and some financial issues, we were overwhelmed and couldn't ever get it together with them. I know that they truly thought we were full of shit. We sent "Hi, how are yous and checked in from time to time with them because we WERE interested, but just couldn't get our stuff together. Finally in October (5 months after our initial contact with them) we met them - and it ended up being WELL worth the wait.

    So move on to checking out others in your area that you are interested in, but keep them in mind. You just never know.

    Jenn
    "Swinging is the women's amusement park, and men are just along for the thrill ride." ~ James

  7. #37
    Oh...Why not?... DBL D's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's our next move?

    AH!...A kindred spirit...

    Male D
    "Just nod if you can hear me..."

    David Gilmour

  8. #38
    Swingers Board Addict
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    Default Re: What's our next move?

    Quote Originally Posted by NandTfromCA
    Consider this a good thing…a learning experience....
    We are becoming very familiar with 'learning experiences'. How do we get physical experiences?

  9. #39
    Here to Stay
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    Newburgh, NY
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    Robel12550

    Default Re: What's our next move?

    Oh! Oh! We got this one! You achieve "physical experience" after "learning experience"! Just like you two did when you were courting. And as the song goes, "Many a tear has to fall, but it's all in the game." (Actual song a little too "romantic" for this, but the same process holds true.)

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