Playing Alone With Other Men

mxdtxn774 · 05-07-2004, 12:19 PM

head bang Now realizing this, I can see why I nearly destroyed my own. I had confused the two terms, thinking that swinging meant seeing other people without the other spouse present. Of course, I was looking at the swingers boards, and could not understand why no one wanted a single guy, and felt hurt that my wife was getting all the play. I realize now what OUR mistakes were.
Communication-a lack of it.
Jealousy-which will not go away.
Misrepresentation-on both our parts.
And to top it all off, a messed up definition.

Thankfully we are working on it, but it was bad for a while.
So thanks for the proper definition, I will chalk all of it up to a learning experience.

magnum · 05-11-2004, 12:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildwife1010

We have been swinging for about two years now. My husband wants me to go out with this guy who has been flirting with me at work. He says the only rule is that I have to tell him everything that happens. Do you think I should do this or not?C

is'nt it the same thing that you have been doing...Swinging, just without him there...He has said that it is OK, if you like the guy and you find him attractive go for it.

Magnum

Denver2some · 05-17-2004, 01:59 PM

The work issue is a big red flag, in my opinion.

Also ... if this other man does not have swing experience, I would be very suspicious of his motives. His interest in you may be more than sexual, though he might deny it. Or his interest might grow because he sees sex as equal to a "dating" relationship. Or perhaps he is one of those men who seeks the ego boost of coming between a wife and husband. Any of these scenarios is a major mismatch with your and your husband's motives ... which sets up at a minimum annoyance, at a maximum bad feelings all around. (And perhaps job-hunting on your part.)

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05-17-2004, 01:59 PM	#33 (permalink)
Denver2some Active Member Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 261 Location: Denver, CO	Re: Other Men The work issue is a big red flag, in my opinion. Also ... if this other man does not have swing experience, I would be very suspicious of his motives. His interest in you may be more than sexual, though he might deny it. Or his interest might grow because he sees sex as equal to a "dating" relationship. Or perhaps he is one of those men who seeks the ego boost of coming between a wife and husband. Any of these scenarios is a major mismatch with your and your husband's motives ... which sets up at a minimum annoyance, at a maximum bad feelings all around. (And perhaps job-hunting on your part.)

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05-07-2004, 12:19 PM	#31 (permalink)
mxdtxn774 Here to Stay Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 56 Location: Lost in Texas(N. of Dallas) Status: S. male SLS Name:mxdtxn774	head bang Now realizing this, I can see why I nearly destroyed my own. I had confused the two terms, thinking that swinging meant seeing other people without the other spouse present. Of course, I was looking at the swingers boards, and could not understand why no one wanted a single guy, and felt hurt that my wife was getting all the play. I realize now what OUR mistakes were. Communication-a lack of it. Jealousy-which will not go away. Misrepresentation-on both our parts. And to top it all off, a messed up definition. Thankfully we are working on it, but it was bad for a while. So thanks for the proper definition, I will chalk all of it up to a learning experience.