Playing Alone With Other Men

[JustAskJulie]

It depends on one thing. Do you want to do it? If you don't want to then no I don't think you should. If you do want to and there are no other factors that we are missing here (like the guy is married or something) then go for it and have fun. As long as your husband is involved and knowledgable as to what is going on then there's nothing wrong with it.

[wildwife1010]

I do not really work with the guy. He is a truck driver who comes into where I work three times a week. The only thing that might happen at work is some flirtation.

[froggyjenn80]

I say go for it. If your hubby is ok with it, it may be a turn on to him to hear everything...like reading his own erotic story, but it really happened.

If you are not comfortable with it, then dont. But be sure if you do to talk it out with your husband about rules on what you can or cannot do.

Just my thought

[leftcoastcouple]

Originally posted by lcjtsd
The anticipation of her coming home after she's had some wild sex with someone else is what I find fantastic.

Dito to this sentiment. Though we've not done it in a long time--first a bad experience with a clingy guy got in the way, then the kids did--I'd love to exerience it again.

Just be sure your husband is up for it, because knowing you're out there with another guy, alone, and that it's too late to turn back or stop it, is very intense--especially the first time. As big as a turn-on as it can be, it's also gut-wrenching.

Of course, if he's really into it, that's half the fun, as lcjtsd points out. For me, the mixture of loss of control, anticipation, curiousity and plain old lust made it one of the hottest experiences I've ever had. Jealousy was an issue the first time, but once I worked that out--fear had a big part to do with it, and she convinced me that it was "just sex" ("Just sex" half a dozen times in one night, mind you, but "just sex!")--it was awesome.

The other half of the fun is once she gets back home. And while I wish I'd been as lucky as lcjtsd and had video to enjoy (Maybe next time?!), the combination of her worked up from what she'd done and me ready to keel over from pent-up horniness made for fireworks the minute she walked in the door.

Good luck if you decide to go through with it!

[lcjtsd]

Originally posted by leftcoastcouple

Just be sure your husband is up for it, because knowing you're out there with another guy, alone, and that it's too late to turn back or stop it, is very intense--especially the first time. As big as a turn-on as it can be, it's also gut-wrenching.

fear had a big part to do with it

the combination of her worked up from what she'd done and me ready to keel over from pent-up horniness made for fireworks the minute she walked in the door.

Yes, the first time is VERY intense. I think I must have wanted to call her and tell her to come home about a dozen times before she got there. And when I knew she was with this guy, my thoughts kept switching from "What the hell are we doing" to "Damn, why didn't I go with to watch/participate". When she finally returned home three hours later, she played the video and I got soooo hot and horny. I was actually shaking like it was the first time I'd ever had sex. It was great!

No it's not for everyone but for those times when both of you just can't get away, it's a great alternative!

I don't know if we're just lucky or what but the two single guys Mrs. LCJTSD get together with have no problem at all with the video part. Just ask.

[diletante]

i would rather that you do it with your husband watching and close by. Being solo means enjoying yourself without the benefit of your husband.Do a sandwich if youd prefer...hmmm... looks promising

[tmyis]

My apologies for the terse response I am at work, but this thread interested me. I am a lurker, but enjoy this community of people. I am impressed by your openness, your level of commitment and your ability to still enjoy sex with other people.

I am interested that some people in this group think that swinging alone is risky. Since I don't swing, I would point out that any form of swinging is risky. More risk than my wife would ever consider. For most of you, you have moved to a place in your relationship where swinging as couples no longer feels risky to you. But you must not forget that at one time swinging as a couple was risky and arguably still is risky.

Given this, I would have to assume that it isn't really much more risk to swing alone. It is simply a question of where you decide to draw the risk line. For most of you, it is already pretty high. But likewise for most of you, your level of commitment and the security most of you feel in each other's life seems to overcome that. But it did strike me as interesting that swinging alone seems so risky to so many on this board, yet no one has mentioned that any form of swinging is risky.

[hmr]

Originally posted by tmyis
My apologies for the terse response Since I don't swing, I would point out that any form of swinging is risky.

But it did strike me as interesting that swinging alone seems so risky to so many on this board, yet no one has mentioned that any form of swinging is risky.

Your apology is accepted, but I would like to point out a couple of things to you.

First, You are NOT a swinger! Therefore you have no idea of what the lifestyle is like, or about. You cannot judge something you don't know on your assumptions. You do not know the precautions taken by most in this lifestyle.

Second, this thread was about a woman having sex without her partner present, not about the other risks of swinging. We as swingers are aware of the risks we may face. They are no more than that of a sexually active single, save the relationship factor.
There is a whole forum dedicated to this subject. You can read more at the STD/Safesex Forum.

Thus the reason for no discussion in this thread about the risks you perceived we failed to talk about.

Thank you for you interest, and your opinion.

mrs hmr

[wildwife1010]

It finially happened last night I had my date and got home around daylight today. It was fun and we both had a great time, I woke hubby up by going down on him, I was so horney. It really turned me on to know that he trusted me enough to allow me to have fun. When I came home our sex together was treat, thanks for the advice.

[lcjtsd]

Glad you had fun! I'm surprised you had to wake hubby up. My hubby was so excited that he couldn't sleep.

[grabbyzz]

Me and the wife actually have never done a couple thing, we have both played seperatly. We have done several mfm's but that all started after she went out with him a few times alone. Even now she is still seeing him alone...After all it is just sex...We have 1 rule, any of us, me, or even him can call it off....My advise is if you do it, be open about feelings towards him....And watch for any jealousy.

[Kermit]

Originally posted by hmr
Thus the reason for no discussion in this thread about the risks you perceived we failed to talk about.

I could be wrong, but I didn't get the impression that tmyis was talking about risks in the form of STDs and safe sex. I read his message as saying that the risks to a relationship posed by engaging in separate activities are similar to those posed by swinging in general. With both ventures, there is the risk of jealousy, or of things turning into "more than sex." For this reason I am somewhat astonished by the number of swingers who are adamantly opposed to swinging separately.

The way Piggy and I see it is that one of the main reasons our relationship is so strong is that we allow each other a degree of independence. Although we have never had sex without the other there, neither of us really sees a problem with it. On a couple of occasions I have had to head out before her in the morning, leaving her in bed with someone else. Nothing happened aside from some cuddling, but I don't see it being an issue if she had decided to go for a morning romp after I'd left!

[browneyez6969]

I agree if you are questioning it dont do it. I guess I should say I agree with not doing it! Sounds like it could be a disaster for the relationship. Dont get caught up in the rush of things

[mxdtxn774]

Ok, I thought I was intelligent, but now I'm not so sure. Is there a difference between swinging and an open marriage? It would explain a lot of things

[Triumphs]

Originally posted by mxdtxn774
Ok, I thought I was intelligent, but now I'm not so sure. Is there a difference between swinging and an open marriage? It would explain a lot of things

Well, we were going to try to clearly define swinging and open relationships, and then compare and contrast them. However, we realized that, although we know they're different (we've done both), it's not that easy to do.

If we had to give an answer at gun-point, it would be communication, communication, communication. Swingers communicate their intrest, desires, and feelings about everything. They communicate the rules/boundaries. They communicate what they've done, and what they would like to do in the future.

Our "open relationship" nearly ended our marriage. The only thing open in that kind of lifestyle is your fly... From the beginning it was doomed to fail, and it took us over 10 years to build things back, and correct our mistakes.

The Triumphs