Wife playing alone and I'm not sure I'm ok with it

[CandPinSA]

Originally Posted by NewAndScared

Last time.....If this is a troll it is a very good one.

Yeah... I'm beginning to smell troll droppings around the bend.

[TeamSoBe]

Originally Posted by nexteltx

I can't test the waters anymore...I can't hold off any longer, some action or inaction is nesscary before Saturday...I need to know what her reasons she has for this and what her objective is...

You're entitled to give her the option of keeping the adventures and opening them up to you or keeping you and giving up the adventures, if that's what you want. If the guy who she's setting up for Saturday can't handle it being threesome instead of just a date then her responsibility would be to pick you and call it off, and then maybe find a next guy who can handle having a threesome. If she says 'but no it has to be THIS guy and he doesn't want you around' then you have a relationship threat on your hands.

[TeamSoBe]

Originally Posted by CandPinSA

Yeah... I'm beginning to smell troll droppings around the bend.

Some trolls are fun even if they're fakers. This guy's situation has happened to me for real and chatting about the memories was fun even if he's full of shit.

[NewAndScared]

It has kept me entertained and wound up for the last few hours.

[nexteltx]

Well fuck that...I came here to fucking air out what I can't ask of anyone...not my friends not my family, not my coworkers...I wanted advice and I thought you all gave good advice...I don't know anything about this kinda shit other then occasionally talking 'bout it with my wife...if i have to fucking clarify it a hundred times in this topic and ask the same questions...you could fucking help me or not fucking open this damn topic...all i wanted here was someone to talk to...

[TeamSoBe]

Originally Posted by nexteltx

...all i wanted here was someone to talk to...

You have someone to talk to. She's at home talking to somebody else on the Internet.

[NewAndScared]

Originally Posted by nexteltx

Well fuck that...I came here to fucking air out what I can't ask of anyone...not my friends not my family, not my coworkers...I wanted advice and I thought you all gave good advice...I don't know anything about this kinda shit other then occasionally talking 'bout it with my wife...if i have to fucking clarify it a hundred times in this topic and ask the same questions...you could fucking help me or not fucking open this damn topic...all i wanted here was someone to talk to...

I think we found his anger point. What ever happens, DONT hit her. Remember she is the mother of your child.

[nexteltx]

I don't find physical abuse funny...I don't think it's funny to bring children into a discussion...and the only fucking reason i'm on the computer right now is cause she's not home...

You think you might be able to show me another side to this and fucking help a guy out...then I would appreciate it...if not...if all you want to do is be sarcastic then theres no purpose in replying here...

if people have nothing better to do than try and be cool on the fucking internet...then I feel sorry for them

[LOL_OMG]

I'm not of the opinion that you should simply kick her out and get a divorce. After all, you have a family and a child here. My guess would be that her self esteem kind of took a dip after the baby when she put on some weight, and having some guy pay attention to her is a bit of an ego boost. It also seems that you're not quite the "take charge" guy, and if she whines enough she can do whatever she wants.
You need to talk together, serious talk with no child to interrupt and no booze involved. Let her know that what's going on is NOT okay.

[2jersey]

Originally Posted by nexteltx

I don't find physical abuse funny...I don't think it's funny to bring children into a discussion...and the only fucking reason i'm on the computer right now is cause she's not home...

You think you might be able to show me another side to this and fucking help a guy out...then I would appreciate it...if not...if all you want to do is be sarcastic then theres no purpose in replying here...

if people have nothing better to do than try and be cool on the fucking internet...then I feel sorry for them

You have received plenty of good legitimate advice on this board. If you have your priorities straight, you will look past the innuendo, remain calm, and use this advice to your advantage. Good luck!

[NewAndScared]

Originally Posted by nexteltx

I don't find physical abuse funny...I don't think it's funny to bring children into a discussion...and the only fucking reason i'm on the computer right now is cause she's not home...

You think you might be able to show me another side to this and fucking help a guy out...then I would appreciate it...if not...if all you want to do is be sarcastic then theres no purpose in replying here...

if people have nothing better to do than try and be cool on the fucking internet...then I feel sorry for them

Surrender

I give. Your child should be a part of the resolution because you are a family not just a couple of kids anymore. Good luck in your endeavers.

Surrender

[CandPinSA]

Originally Posted by nexteltx

Well fuck that...I came here to fucking air out what I can't ask of anyone...not my friends not my family, not my coworkers...I wanted advice and I thought you all gave good advice...I don't know anything about this kinda shit other then occasionally talking 'bout it with my wife...if i have to fucking clarify it a hundred times in this topic and ask the same questions...you could fucking help me or not fucking open this damn topic...all i wanted here was someone to talk to...

Ok, I'll give it the benefit of the doubt and assume this isn't some sort of troll...

Look man... here's the thing. No on here can truly tell you what to do. We've all answered your question very clearly. You (the 2 of you) aren't swinging at the very least. At least not as I understand and define it. It envolves total and complete agreement on the activities...which as you yourself have stated... is not what is happening. You don't agree with what is happening. At the very least, you need to both sit down and discuss what's going on. Discuss your problems with it. Discuss her problems with not including you. Find out why it HAS to be this weekend with THIS guy. If it's the same guy she's seeing all the time, then there is likely more there than some casual recreational sex. If she won't include you then she's hiding something.... or the other guy can't handle it, in which case, he needs to be out of the picture. This needs to be made clear. To HIM AND HER. If he can't play with both of you, he can't play. That needs to be made clear to both HIM AND HER.

Assuming this is not some sort of troll post.... then take all the advice and comments given here, which are not going to change from one to the next really... and work with that. If you don't like what we've said here, which I could understand (no one wants to be told they're in a situation that is very dangerous and destructive to their relationship), then reposting the same question hoping for a different answer is also understandable... but understand that there aren't many swingers I've ever heard of or known who would disagree with any of the assessments we've given here. Also... it may just be that if you can find some way to justify what's happening as swinging, and it is something that is making you as uncomfortable as you obviously are, then swinging is NOT for you guys... at least not at this particular time in your relationship. If on the other hand it is all as you have described it... then she is cheating on you.... whether it is the extra sex she wants or something else altogether.... that's just the way I think everyone here is going to see it. At least I (and my wife) see it that way.

Sincerely,
Mr. C

[NewAndScared]

Originally Posted by CandPinSA

Mr. C

Ditto

[nexteltx]

Well I have to go pick her up from work...I know I got alot of good advice...It's just overwhelming a little...Uh it's just a little hurtful to sense the direction this is headed and I was just looking for anyone's and everyone's advice...Anything that I could point out for someone to say "It's all good" to remove this weight...I don't think I'll say anything tonight...

Oh and the marriage is like half and half we both have respect as far as that...I'm certain that if I approached her and asked her to stop I believe she would...I just don't want to do that if I'm over-reacting...Anyway Thanks to those who didn't make light of the situation...

[TeamSoBe]

Originally Posted by nexteltx

I don't think I'll say anything tonight...

You obviously don't really want her to stop.