Jump to content
EvilMJ

Swinging Separately

Recommended Posts

Another board member got me thinking about this subject, and after a bit of back and forth converastion between us (you know who you are ;) ), I thought I would throw this out to the board.

 

I think one of the hardest things to do in swinging is find a couple that you are both compatable with. I know we have run into a multitude of situations/complications as to why one of us, or both of us do not click with a prospective couple.

 

It seems that the general consenus is that people generally feel that swinging separately is not a good thing, or something that people would not want to do.

We have swung separately and made it work for us, now i realize that this is not going to work for everyone. But has anyone ever considered this an option? And how have you dealt with the complication of finding a compatible couple?

 

I would be interested in how others have handled this....let me peek into your brains a bit.

Share this post


Link to post
let me peek into your brains a bit.

 

 

There's not a thing in there for you to see...it's empty :lol:

 

We have discussed playing separately and I have on two occasions. Both times I knew that Ted would be around in a very short time and it was with a friend we have known for 20 years. Although it was a very good time, what I found for myself was that I missed having Ted there.

 

Now at house parties and socials, we do play quite a bit separately...which neither of us have a problem with, and enjoy as once we find each other in the crowd again, we're smiling and asking...So, what you been doing?

 

But due to the limited amount of time that we have with each other, one of us going out by ourselves is not appealing to either of us at this time. That's not to say that this won't change sometime in the future. If we have learned one thing in swinging, it's never say never :).

 

It does take a very strong couple to be able to play separately and still keep the couple mentality...if you play separately and it's still about the couple then things should go fine and be very fun in the process.

 

Teresa

Share this post


Link to post

While Natasha and I have discussed just about everything you can do as a swinger, this is one of the few things we have pretty much ruled out. It seems to defeat the purpose of what we are trying to accomplish by swinging.

 

That said, as newbs who have yet to even go near the swingset we realize our feedback is not particularly valuable in this case. :)

 

Boris

Share this post


Link to post

 

That said, as newbs who have yet to even go near the swingset we realize our feedback is not particularly valuable in this case. :)

 

Boris

 

Everyone's input is valuable to me. This is how we started out as well, deciding not to swing separately..and yet we have changed that rule. Now this not to say we ONLY swing separately, but it is something that we have encorporated due to the problems in finding compatable couples.

Share this post


Link to post

K and I have no problem with playing solo. In fact, I'd say that it makes up about half of the swinging-type play that we do. I dont' really know why it works for us but it does. I seem to recal that when we first discussed it we both said it was something we weren't interested in. But I don't think we'd actualyl thought about it. We just said we didn't want to try it beause we figured that's just not something people do. It's cheating. But the more we talked the more we realised that we couldn't really think of a reason why we shouldn't do it other than that people say you shouldn't. Following other people's ideas of right and wrong hadn't been too beneficial in the past so we just decided to go for it.

Share this post


Link to post

Being fairly new ourselves we had agreed through some pretty deep conversations of the subject, that we would also not be comfortable swinging seperately.

However, we were just recently discussing the whole FMF and FMM situations and agreed that if we were totally comfortable with another couple together in all ways, that we would definitely consider a you scratch my back type of situation.

But again, this is still a "what if" situation for us at this point. I guess you could say we are open to suggestion when it comes to this. Since neither of us would ever swing with someone the other found to be threatening (for whatever reason) and that we both trusted, I think we definitely would give it a try.

But right now, we are still in the stage of exploring together...although, like TNT so eloquently stated, I, too have learned to never say never....lol ;)

Share this post


Link to post

Great timing on this question! Bear went to a house party last night without me (I was sick) and by the time he got home, I was very upset. I even told him it was ok to go. But the more I thought about it I felt that swinging solo was not for us. In the past I have played with a swing partner solo, with Bear's knowledge, and I was ok with it until about a week later. To me it just felt like an affair, and that is not what we are into.

 

When we were in an exclusive relationship with another couple, we did play solo. The other guy and I would stay home and play an Bear and the other woman would go to a movie or whatnot. We felt ok with that.

 

When we go to the club or house parties, we do play separate, it is too hard to have everyone click to play with couples. But we don't feel that we are really playing "solo" in that case. We are still in the same building, we came together and we leave together.

 

I guess it comes down to what works for one couple may not work for another. We just have to do what we are comfortable with and right now swinging solo is not in our comfort zone.

Share this post


Link to post

We agree with TNT. We can deal with playing separately on rare occasions due to circumstances but would not seek it out continually. We have had several MFM and on many occasions she has started play w/o me but i was very close by and would be joining shortly.

If we were both at a party and it happened that would be ok but again we are both close by and will enjoy hearing about the others fun.

Share this post


Link to post
Great timing on this question! Bear went to a house party last night without me (I was sick) and by the time he got home, I was very upset. I even told him it was ok to go. But the more I thought about it I felt that swinging solo was not for us. In the past I have played with a swing partner solo, with Bear's knowledge, and I was ok with it until about a week later. To me it just felt like an affair, and that is not what we are into.

 

 

So how did you resolve your feelings? How did Bear feel about it after-the-fact?

Share this post


Link to post
Great timing on this question!

 

Being "NEWBIES" to the swinging era, we have discussed this subject and have come to what we think will work for us.

 

Although it may be, as stated here several times, hard to find a couple that both are confortable with, we feel that starting slow (same room - soft swap) would be best for now. So if it takes a while, then so be it. All good things are worth taking your time with, and what makes one feel confortable has the highest of priorities for us. Maybe down the road, well, who knows what will happen.

 

I do know that we have both been logging in and reading a lot of things here that we have been able to talk about with each other.

 

Heck, we even look at couples differently now when out shopping. We wonder how many people we pass everyday have/do/done swinging before/now. Its kinda interesting....off the subject here...sorry.. ... :)

 

Thanks for bringing this up ....

 

Cheer's

 

M & C

Share this post


Link to post
While Natasha and I have discussed just about everything you can do as a swinger, this is one of the few things we have pretty much ruled out. It seems to defeat the purpose of what we are trying to accomplish by swinging.

 

That said, as newbs who have yet to even go near the swingset we realize our feedback is not particularly valuable in this case. :)

 

Boris

Coming from another newbie on the scene, I have to agree w/ you. We want to watch each other as well as experience different, umm, situations together. Never can tell what may happen down the road, though. Mrs. Dolphins said she's not bi, but I'm always gonna be hopeful about that possibility :rolleyes: . But just out of the starting gates, separate play is not an option (yet).

Share this post


Link to post

You know, EvilMJ, we have recently explored playing solo. For me it is fulfilling Mrs. WS's fantasies of playing alone. I know it can be fun not having to worry if I'm having fun, etc. So I have set-up little "missions" we call them to play with others. And it's hot for me giving her this, and then she calls me the moment she gets in the car and tells me all about it, she comes home to me and we go at it like Mallard ducks in heat. :D

 

On my end of it, it has so far had nothing to do with incompatibility between me and the wife of the couple because, well, it seems that in these situations we both think the wife is hot, but the husband is not attractive to Mrs. WS. When she plays alone it is because of the above paragraph.

 

The idea of me playing alone turns Mrs. WS on. I haven't done it yet, but it will happen when the time is right. It's allot easier to find a guy for Mrs. WS to play solo with then a single girl for me. Mrs. WS has talked to the wife of a couple that I am really attracted to but Mrs. WS is not attracted to her husband. We have been honest with them about this, and he is okay with her playing with me solo (they also play solo on occasion). So we'll see.

 

Mr. WS

Share this post


Link to post
So how did you resolve your feelings? How did Bear feel about it after-the-fact?

 

 

Like everything that has come up in the lifestyle, we talked about it. Now, I admit that talking at 3AM may not have been the best time to talk! I told Bear how I felt leftout of everything. Even though I was sick and could not go, I still felt leftout. So we decided that neither one of us will go to parties or the club alone.

Share this post


Link to post

EvilMJ -- I think it was your saying "Let me peek into your brains a bit" that did it, I now have the tiniest crush on you! :rolleyes: Smart women who express themselves imaginatively are sooooo sexy!

 

Ms P and I did regular MFM threesomes for about 11 years but all the time she met with men on her own; usually had one or two guys she knew and trusted. I was working nights at the time and it was fine with me; we both recognized the practicality of the arrangement, and she was always very turned on to receive me after she'd been resoundingly boffed for an evening. A couple of years ago, she decided that she preferred one-on-one, open-relationship style, so we simply moved to that mode, with a concomitant freedom for me to continue swinging with my play pal Ms F, one on one or in ensemble settings. It seems to work well, though I'm not sure if what Ms P is doing could be called "swinging." If she and I have sex immediately afterward, which is often the case, it feels like a threesome, just done sequentially.

Share this post


Link to post
But due to the limited amount of time that we have with each other, one of us going out by ourselves is not appealing to either of us at this time. That's not to say that this won't change sometime in the future. If we have learned one thing in swinging, it's never say never :). Teresa

 

 

This is exactly how I feel. Mr. Indy and I get to go out alone maybe once a week and typically it is to the club, where we couple with other couples.

 

My gut feeling is that I wouldn't like it. Honestly, I would hate knowing that Mr. Indy is out without me somewhere having fun. On the flip side, I went with friends of ours to the club once without him (he was working) and I played with them a bit, and I didn't like the way it felt. I don't think he really liked it either.

 

What I enjoy the most is the togetherness we have. I mean all my fantasies revolve around him, and if he isn't there, it is just not happening for me.

 

I will also have to agree with T, I am never going to say never! There may be a magic couple that could change my mind. I think it has a lot to do with who you are with at the time, too.

Share this post


Link to post

We have swung separately and made it work for us, now i realize that this is not going to work for everyone. But has anyone ever considered this an option?

We never considered this as an option when we started swinging, didn't see why we should, but now that we've been at this for over a year I have done this a couple times. I swung with a couple we had played with numerous times. We did this because MrLM and the women agreed they weren't clicking sexually, however the three of us were still interested in each other. It's worked out, but I can see this as an option we would only consider with certain people.

 

 

And how have you dealt with the complication of finding a compatible couple?
Finding four people that click has turned out to be a challenge - more than we expected. We have had lots of fun but there often seems to be an imbalance. I want to continue with a husband, MrLM has found the wife no longer interests him, so we stop with that couple.

 

Watching each other play has not been high on either of our priorities and we are so secure with each other that I feel we'll probably be heading toward the swinging separately in special cases. I don't want to deny him a woman just because I don't care for her husband. If MrLM is asked to join them in a 3sum that would be okay by me. It would thrill me to see him happy and I'd love to hear all about what transpired during their play. Now THAT would turn me on!

 

LM

Share this post


Link to post
We have swung separately and made it work for us, now i realize that this is not going to work for everyone. But has anyone ever considered this an option?
We talked about this issue when we first began to swing together. Even with Greg's permission, playing alone was something that Sheryl was not interested in pursuing. Just like with TNT, it's not unusual for us to end up in separate rooms at a house party or club, but we don't make solo dates with others. There isn't a practical reason why we do that way; it's just a preference.
And how have you dealt with the complication of finding a compatible couple?
We just keep trying. Fortunately, we already have a fair amount of friends in the lifestyle, so we spend more time trying to arrange meetings with people we already know than we do trying to meet new couples.

Share this post


Link to post
Fortunately, we already have a fair amount of friends in the lifestyle, so we spend more time trying to arrange meetings with people we already know than we do trying to meet new couples.

 

We find ourselves doing this quite often as well, and usually it is with these friends that we play separtely. For the most part it is at a dance or house party.

Share this post


Link to post

We do both. We started out just doing same-room full-swap. We loved it and we've had a good time. We haven't had a hard time finding couples -- we've had our share -- but the more we swing the more we open ourselves to other stuff.

 

We started doing the solo thing several months ago. Solo play is very fun too, and it hasn't changed how we view swinging or what we get out of it. Whether it's alone or together, swinging brings us closer. Swinging started out as a "couples activity" and when we swing together, it's no less a bonding couples activity than it was before. When we play together, we go out and socialize (and have sex) as a couple.

 

We wouldn't want solo play to supplant doing foursomes since that would mean we're not spending time together, but there's nothing wrong with having sex with others alone in addition to doing couples.

 

When I tell people about swinging, I tell them that having sex with others doesn't take away from the sex we have together. We have just as much sex as we ever did with each other -- we've just added more on top through having foursomes. Well, solo play is the same. We don't have less sex together, and we don't do fewer couples -- we've just added even more sex to our lives in the form of solo play.

 

The freedom that comes with a completely open marriage just adds yet another bonus to our already fantastic lives. Just like we couldn't imaging giving up swinging after doing it for a couple of months, we can't imagine giving up the freedom to have sex with whomever we want alone too.

 

I understand that it's not for everyone, but I do wish people wouldn't imply that it's somehow innately destructive or that it somehow violates the intent of swinging when they've never even tried it. To me, it's the same BS that we all hear from judgmental vanillas: "OMG! Your relationship JUST CAN'T survive that, honey! Trust me, you're going to regret it." That holier-than-thou, superior shit bugs me. The assumption that the health of my marriage isn't the most important thing in all this pisses me off.

 

- Adam

Share this post


Link to post
"OMG! Your relationship JUST CAN'T survive that, honey! Trust me, you're going to regret it." That holier-than-thou, superior shit bugs me. The assumption that the health of my marriage isn't the most important thing in all this pisses me off.

 

- Adam

 

To be fair, most relationships wouldn't. Especially among vanillas who are, what, >50% likely to divorce anyway.. LOL

 

The irony is that the people most "normal" people would assume are deviant lunatics hell bent for destruction (us) have a deeper and truer connection to each other than they could possibly imagine, most of the time. What they dont realize is that the successful "alternate" style marriages stem from the *most* successful relationships.

Share this post


Link to post

For us, it's really pretty simple. Sometimes only one of us is attraced to the opposite member of the other couple. If they agree, the ones who are attracted to each other go off and party. The other two may still schmooze, dance, socialize, but not screw. That has probably happened a half dozen times with us, usually me (male) going with the other female. The other guy doesn't necessarily like the arrangement, but that's between my wife and him (and his wife).

 

It's happened to me, too. There have been times when my wife wanted to party with another guy, but the other wife was not interested in me. Fair enough. That's life. I can live with it because my wife never objects when the tables are turned and I want to play alone.

 

Occasionally the other husband is just interested in MFM with me, leaving my wife out altogether. She never has objected to that, either. She just goes off and finds a guy who is interested in her. Believe me, that's never been a problem!

 

There are lots of possibilities, and if you keep an open mind, they can all be some kind of fun.

Share this post


Link to post

My wife has played solo when I was incapacitated due to surgery. It was with the male half of a couple we play with. It had been a fantasy of hers for us both to do that, but she readily admits that it is more fun when I am there. I think part of that is she feels guilty about having fun when I am not.

 

We have discussed the idea about playing solo when we go to house parties or socials. And we agree, given some parameters, that is a good idea. We have yet to do that, but likely will.

 

Another incentive for us to play is baby sitters. It is extremely difficult for us to line up baby sitters for us to have extended play time. So we have considered solo play in order to allow us to be more active, again within certain parameters.

 

She also finds it a huge turn on to think of me off with another woman, we will see how she feels after it happens before we decide if we go any further down that road.

Share this post


Link to post

I've played solo all of three times. The first was an experiment. I met up with the Mr., we had our fun, then our spouses joined us later for a foursome. The second was spur-of-the moment, as Mr. Sweet and the other Mrs. were too tired to play, and the third was pre-planned. I enjoyed all three thoroughly, because it gave the the chance to not worry whether my hubby or his partner were having fun.

 

I would love for Mr. Sweet to be able to do this, but I know his preference is to have me present. So we do what works for us. Which is decide what to do as we go along.

 

=)

Share this post


Link to post
Another board member got me thinking about this subject, and after a bit of back and forth converastion between us (you know who you are ;) ), I thought I would throw this out to the board.

 

I think one of the hardest things to do in swinging is find a couple that you are both compatable with. I know we have run into a multitude of situations/complications as to why one of us, or both of us do not click with a prospective couple.

 

It seems that the general consenus is that people generally feel that swinging separately is not a good thing, or something that people would not want to do.

We have swung separately and made it work for us, now i realize that this is not going to work for everyone. But has anyone ever considered this an option? And how have you dealt with the complication of finding a compatible couple?

 

I would be interested in how others have handled this....let me peek into your brains a bit.

 

It's a perfectly acceptable option for some. I think finding a compatible couple is a matter of chance, though you can increase your chances by meeting new people.

Share this post


Link to post

WE are seriously considering this option right now and where we'll end up I'm not sure.

 

It sounds like fun but I'm not sure if I'm ready to be at my desk, or anywhere else for that matter, doing what I do while Mrs. Ekies is out with a single male or couple. I don't think it's jealousy...it's more about consent.

 

It's okay in my head for her to have sex with others while I'm there but for me to give consent for her to "party" with others without me there doesn't sit well. It's a tribal, "mark my territory", neanderthal thing...I think.

 

One of these days we'll meet the right single male or couple and travel this bridge.

 

Be sure fellow 'boarders that when we try it, I will keep it in the proper context and say yea or nay when it's over. I'd hate to miss something that so many enjoy because of a fear of trying...

 

Trace

Share this post


Link to post

I know it's not for us. Too sensual to be in different rooms (or however separated). When we swing, though we may be good friends with the other couple, when it comes down to it we sort of think of them as a live action sex toy lol. To not be together would make the experience feel too "romantic" with the other person. We save the romance for just us. ;)

Share this post


Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Similar Content

    • By Sudhit
      One of my friends was mentioning that his wife got invited for a vacation with one of their regular playmates. It would be a 4 day vacation, where only the wife goes with the BF, hubby stays back.
       
      Has anyone any experience of this scenario, they are swinger and cuckold couple.
    • By StartingOver60
      My wife and I went to a Lifestyle get-together last weekend.  When we got there, we mingled and as it turned out, my wife meet a couple.  She was sitting next to them having drinks, laughing, and having a good time.  I walked over she introduced me.  I sat next to his wife, and we were all enjoying the evening.   
       
      The other wife and I got up to get some drinks and we chatted at the bar.  "It looks like my wife has taking a liking to your husband," I said.  "Yes, they both are," she replied.  I asked, "Do you think you guys would like to come over to our house and we could continue the party there?"  She politely made it very clear she was not interested in having sex tonight.  I said, "OK, thanks for the heads up."
       
      As we sat there at the bar a friend come over to say hello.  She got up excused herself and returned to the table with her husband and my wife.  
       
      As the evening progressed my wife came over to me at the bar and told me she invited them to come home with us.  I was a bit confused but said sure.   We all left together, my wife in his car, and his wife in my car.  Our conversation during the drive was very nice and easy, and I thought she had changed her mind.  In the club, I could see my wife was very excited to be with her new friend.  
       
      We got to our house and sat around and had some drinks. All seemed to be good. However, when we decide to go upstairs, his wife restated she was not interested in playing tonight. My wife and I left them in the room to talk, and when we came back, he apologized and said sharing tonight is not going to happen.  I felt bad for my wife who was starry eyed at this guy.  He was telling her she looked like a women who was beautiful and fun, and he was very much looking forward to being with her tonight but maybe some other time. 
       
      My wife and I went in the kitchen to get some drinks for everyone, and I explained to her that the other wife had told me she was not interested in the bar.  "I thought she changed her mind, but I guess not," I explained. "I see you want this guy.  I don’t want you to be disappointed, I see and feel the attraction you two have.  When we go back into the room why don’t you ask him if he wants to see the view from our bedroom? That is our usual break the ice move to get things started.  I think this was his game plan all along to be with you even though she was not participating.  But I’m OK with it for your pleasure."
       
      I saw how hot she was for him. So I thought to myself don’t screw this up for her, she should get to enjoy the moment. 
       
      He jumped at the request, and they were off.  I sat with his wife and said, "Are you ok with them going upstairs because I don’t think they care about the view?".  She did not say anything but also did not object to what was going to happen. 
       
      As it goes, my wife had a great experience, so they were up there for an hour. I am sure they enjoyed each other.  When they came down my wife gave me a sweet kiss. We sat for a while then all politely said goodbye.
       
      The next weekend we went to a party at our friends' house. It was a vanilla evening but a number of friends were there.  We had played with the host couple once before, but tonight was not that type of party. 
       
      The next morning my wife realized she left her purse at Tim and Jean's house.  She asked me to go and pick it up.  I said I would on the way back from my bike ride.  On the way back I detoured and stopped at the house.  Jean answered the door and asked me in.  She asked if I would like a cup of coffee, I said sure.  I asked where Tim was, and she said he had left early this morning for an overnight ski trip with some of his buddies. 
       
      We were in the kitchen and Jean was filling the coffee cups. I was looking at her in her robe as she delivered the hot coffee.  We sipped the coffee and chatted but my thoughts while looking at this beautiful woman, came out of my mouth, “Are you wearing anything under that robe?”  She smiled and got up and brought her cup to the sink.  She walked back to the table where I was sitting and said, "You will have to find out for yourself."  I was stunned thinking she was kidding.  She said again,  "All it takes to find out is to pull the robe's belt and open the robe."
       
      She stood in front of me as I sat in the chair. I pulled the robe belt and opened slowly opened the robe.  She was naked and moved her chair in front of me and opened the robe and leaned forward and kissed me deep.  She moved my head down into her crotch and I got on my knees and went at it not believing what was happening.  She was enjoying the moment, she moaned she was coming and squeezed her legs around my head. 
       
      When she released my head from the grasp of her legs she took my hand and brought me into her bedroom.  She sat on the bed as I undressed. I rubbed her legs gently and picked them up high and spread them apart, she fell back, and I penetrated that wet beautiful tasting pussy. 
       
      I pounded her over and over and when I stopped I got on the bed.  I laid on my back and she put my hard cock in her mouth and started sucking me and would not stop until I came, and she told me how good I taste.  We laid there for a few minutes not speaking and I was ready again and I turned her on her side and lifted one leg over my shoulder and began pounding her again.  We went on for awhile and she had another orgasm and told me to cum inside her.  She got on top and pounded me and made me explode inside her. 
       
      We laid there together for a while, eyes closed resting, when her phone rang.  It was Tim, he made it to the mountains and just checking in.  I was feeling bad for what just happened, but it was a great experience.  She repeated out loud what Tim asked - "What are you doing?" Jean replied - "Well, Allan stopped over to pick up Susan’s purse she left over here last night.  I invited him in and we had a cup of coffee.  I was in my robe and one thing led to another and I had Allan’s face in my crotch. Then we took it to the bedroom, and we had a giant orgasmic experience.  I will tell you all about it when you get home.  Are you OK with this?  Good, I will tell Allan.  Have fun skiing.”
       
      So, in discussing this with Jane I said I was shocked at what she just told Tim.  She said, “We are always honest with each other.  It will be so hot when he returns home, I will be in for another great time.  So, I am also going to be honest with you.  You wife left the purse here on purpose.  She asked me if I would give you some great sex because you were a sweetheart last weekend.  You worked it out so she could be with the gentleman she picked up at the club and she felt that you missed out, so she came up with this idea.  But please understand, I was looking forward to it and it was a fantastic morning fuck with a good friend.  Tim was not aware of this, but I will work it out with him when I explain the story.  Susan said she the four of us can get together, or she will get with Tim alone if he prefers and you are OK with it.  You have a great caring wife Allan.  Please tell her thanks for including me in this scheme.”
    • By lizandtom
      My wife and I have been together for 22 years, married 16 and have always had a good relationship. We've been in the LS for just over 4 years. Our first full swap was 3 1/2 years ago. She hit it off with the other guy great; she described him as a tomcat seeking prey. Apparently she likes a somewhat domineering male. Although I was with his wife 1 or 2 times, I really didn't feel the right chemistry, so that was it for me, with exception of some parties we had where it just worked out that I did her. He had asked my wife to call him after that first time, and they have been in in phone contact ever since, once or twice a week, which I had no problem with because my wife has always been upfront with me about all.
       
      When it was known that his wife wasn't my type, he told my wife not to tell me that they had phoned each other because he didn't want me going into aol chat and telling his wife that they had been in contact. Apparently he kept things from his wife. My wife tells me everything so I said that wasn't cool at all. Nevertheless, after 1 MFM with my wife and him, I wasn't into him telling my wife to keep things from me, and him going behind his wifes back to do as he wanted. My wife was enamored with him and though I expressed my grave concern that he was cheating on his wife, I allowed my wife to get together with him on occasion, like once every few months over the past few years but still saying I didn't like him keeping this a secret from his wife, as its something I never would do.
       
      Fast forward to our local club last month. We were chatting with a couple newly acquainted with us in our off premise club, and they said they knew that other couple (we didn't say anything about my wife being with that guy for the past 3 years occasionally), but the other couple says "we know them, his wife cheated on him a few years back; he found out was pissed and told the other woman and they nearly got divorced over it."
       
      Well that was it. When I heard that drama, I said to my wife "that's VERY uncool, and if relative strangers are knowledgeable about their drama, you will probably become known as the other woman of a cheating spouse, and we'll be blacklisted from our local LS community."
       
      So anyway, last night I said why don't we have 3 couples over Sat night because we've only gone dancing at our local club for the past month but haven't had any playtime. She said great, and that she had planned to go out on Friday night with this guy if ok with me. I said, here I am thinking about something for both of us on Sat., and she already has made plans for herself on Friday for an intimate encounter. So now I'm thinking that she really only goes along with all our playdates to keep me in the game, so I'll allow her to keep on going with this other guy. I called her out on it, and she says she just really likes him, but if I demand it's over then she'll be mopey and dissappointed, but will have to deal with it. Anyway, we talked some more and as a solution I am trying to convince her to convince this guy to get his wife in on it; I'll do his wife to take one for the team (she's actually very foxxy) for my wife to be happy and see the guy, but for her to keep on going with him while he's doing it all behind her back is just not cool with me.
       
      What do you think? Thanks.
    • By Swingers5209
      Hi, so wife and I are comfortable with the swingers lifestyle but we have said that we are both ok with sleeping with people separately. However, we have come across a problem and I'm not sure if I'm the problem or if she is.
       
      My wife has been in the lifestyle for far longer than me and has a vast amount of experience. A while ago we went to a club and there she met the club manager and they started talking. After leaving the club they carried on chatting on a daily basis, and when I asked her what they where talking about she would say that they always talk about work or stuff friends would talk about. However  last night i found out that they have been flirting with each other.
       
      Problem is when we started swinging we said that communication is the most important thing to keep us safe from any complications.
       
      I feel that we have to discuss and inform each other when we are talking or flirting with others and she feels that there is no need to inform me if she is flirting with others. 
       
      Am I been unreasonable by asking her to tell me when she is flirting with guys and is it unreasonable for me to have gotten upset about her telling me they only talk about work stuff only to find out there is more involved?
    • By purple4215
      CoupleInMD79.... It is like we are on parallel tracks! We'd still love to meet another FWB couple where we all click and can all play together same and separate room. (We have one right now) we've meet many nice couples but having a hard time getting a four way connection sexually. We are considering letting each other play alone a bit. Still in discussion phases. He met someone awhile ago and she played separately and I recently met someone and we are considering allowing this.
       
       
      What rules does anyone on forum have for this type of scenario. What issues have arisen? What are things to discuss. We are trying to think about it from all angles but would love any input.
×
×
  • Create New...