Women, wives, are swinging alone with the husbands permission and blessing

[northindycpl]

I have noticed something happening recently in our area and just wondered if it was going on elsewhere, and what the thoughts from the board are.

Women, wives, are swinging alone with the husbands permission and blessing. He is staying at home and watching the kids, cleaning the house and cooking dinner. She is out having the the time of her life.

Now, I am sure that this happens a lot, but I have recently met about 11 women who are all swinging without their husbands. As jaded as I have become on cheaters, I have to admit that I was judgemental at first, but I have now met most of the husbands at a recent vertical gathering, and they know, and bless the activities.

And no, all of these women are not together, or even belong to the same club. I just thought it a weird coincidence.

Mr. Indy and I only swing together, and the thought never occured to me to swing alone, I don't know if I would be comfortable. But it is interesting concept to throw a "Ladies Night Out with my Swinging Sistas" ! Much better than dinner and movie with my other girlfriends!

Have you noticed this trend? What do you think about it? Would you swing with a married women with her husbands permission? Would it be odd to go have dinner with the both of them, and then him leave to go take care of the kids while she went off with you to the hotel?

[HeAndDblD]

My wife has a boy toy whose intimate company she enjoys a few times a year. Their relationship doesn't threaten our marriage, so I don't have a problem with it. He's a great guy and as long as she's open about it, there is no reason for jealousy or concern.

[Spoomonkey]

It is not something that we would do. To be honest, we don't really understand it because it so unlike the "swinging" that we do. But, certainly swinging changes radically from couple to couple - and there is a lot of room for interpretation as to what swinging really is.

We recently had a "ladies night" at our club and Mrs Spoo wasn't remotely interested, as she just isn't "bi" enough for that. I wouldn't have been comfortable with that either.

Our main rule is that we play together. That's what we enjoy. I don't see that ever changing.

Spoomonkey

[Vespertine]

I played one time without my husband (with his blessing & he was in the other room), but we were both uncomfortable with it and will never go there again.

I'd rather play together. It turns us on sooooo much.

If going solo with permission works for a couple, all the more power to them if that's something they enjoy. It's just not our cup of tea.

[JnCC]

I read an article once in which a guy who managed a number of New York Supermodels was interviewed. He was explaining how supermodels were no different than "plain" women in many ways...including the problems they faced keeping their husbands/boyfriends interested in them sexually. The interviewer found it hard to believe that men who were in relationships with women of world-class beauty would screw around on them. The manager responded...

"They all do it. You show me the most beautiful woman in the world, and I'll show you some guy who's tired of fucking her"

Maybe that's what's happening. The guys are just "tired of fucking them."

I don't know of any women who swing without their husbands, but the adult-oriented dating sites and chat rooms are full of married women who are looking for FWB's (I've "routed" a few on some of the vanilla datings sites I've belonged to also). I think this is another one of those areas that stretches the definition of what "swinging" is. To me, it sounds more like an open marriage, with little regard given to who the spouse is with.

[DnHtxCPL]

Same for us. I think the biggest part of it is doing it together and seeing the passion on each others face. The thought of her or I going it alone just doesn't sit well with either of us. For some reason it really could take on the aspect of cheating or cuckolding in a way. I mean we got into this as something to do and enjoy together. But if we know another couple very well and one of them want's to play alone with the two of us and the other spouse is in agreement then we don't have a problem with that either. But that would be their rules and what they are comfortable with.

DnH

[coupleinCT]

Originally Posted by JnCC

"They all do it. You show me the most beautiful woman in the world, and I'll show you some guy who's tired of fucking her"

Maybe that's what's happening. The guys are just "tired of fucking them."

I don't know of any women who swing without their husbands, but the adult-oriented dating sites and chat rooms are full of married women who are looking for FWB's (I've "routed" a few on some of the vanilla datings sites I've belonged to also). I think this is another one of those areas that stretches the definition of what "swinging" is. To me, it sounds more like an open marriage, with little regard given to who the spouse is with.

Really, that seems like what vanilla people say about swingers, that we're all tired of fucking our spouses, and don't care who we are with.

My wife has played alone, with my permission, a few times. I'm certainly not tired of fucking her, we had some great sex before and after she went. It wasn't something we jumped into, and we don't consider our marriage open. I had the chance to once, and I'm not sure I'd do it again, but I don't have a problem with her doing it. It just wasn't what I was into doing. I trust her to have her fun, and don't have to worry about it wrecking our marriage.

The wives (and hubbys too) looking for FWB without the knowledge of their spouse aren't swingers, they are cheaters. The two are not the same thing.

[jcbicouple]

Originally Posted by JnCC

"They all do it. You show me the most beautiful woman in the world, and I'll show you some guy who's tired of fucking her"

Just my 2 cents: That is one of the most offensive statements I've ever heard in my life! It's an insult to every husband here, and to their wives!

Anyway, on to the thread topic: If the couple that's doing it agree, and are comfortable with it, who cares? If it's not what you like, don't play with them.
We prefer to swing together, but in the right situation, who knows. We've talked about it a lot, but have never discussed an "open marraige". Mr. JCbi has had the opportunity to swing alone (Mrs not in the room), but prefers swinging together. Guess some people would consider that "seperate room" even if the other partner wasn't having sex, but we don't see being in seperate rooms any different than being in seperate buildings. You still aren't together.

[CowboynVixen]

We prefer to play together with out a doubt. The reason being, we feed off each other's fun.

We have had the situation whree one of us was out of town and very good friends were available when we weren't and we gave each other permission to play in this respect, as long as it was something we talked about first.

This has always been with friends who have bonded with us and we both feel safe with.

This was something aquired over years of testing the waters and talking.

There have also been cases where the 4 way click didn't happen, but a great 3 way click did, we have both bowed out and went on with life while giving our mate the pleasure of getting it on.

This works for us, but is select and not often. We normally get very hot later when we share the details so this is very much about us, not just one of us.

[TwaKanPlay]

Puts us down as a we play together. Playing with one spouse of a couple would only be considered if we KNEW it was with the other partners knowledge and consent. What other couples do and don't do is between them, but we would have to know the "missing partner" well enough to openly discuss it before any thing happened. We aren't to the point in our relationship where either of us would feel comfortable going it alone. Seperate rooms is different.

[Roger Fox]

Just our observation.....One of the clubs we were members of had several members come alone and participate in the fun with the full knowledge and 'permission' of their husband or wife. And we have played seperately, in different areas and buildings, with each others awareness of what we were doing. We've been together for 35+ years. Because of health reasons we no longer actively participate....but we're still interested in all the pleasureable actvities. Including talking and watching!!!

[JnCC]

Originally Posted by jcbicouple

Just my 2 cents: That is one of the most offensive statements I've ever heard in my life! It's an insult to every husband here, and to their wives!

I agree. I was fortunate to be married to a woman that I never got "tired" of, even when other elements of our relationship were disintegtrating. But the feeling is not an uncommon one among men, and apparently not among women either. When you've got guys like Hugh Grant getting busted with some dog-assed ugly $20 hooker while his girlfriend Elizabeth Hurley is waiting at home, you have to wonder WHY?

Back to the original post...there ARE such things as "babysitters" "Merry Maids" and home delivered pizzas. There are also pills that will perk a tired dick up for a night, or an entire weekend. Obviously, the husbands aren't participating with their wives because they don't want to participate with them. It would be interesting to know what their spin on all this is.

[HotMoCpl]

I wouldn't call this swinging. Its more like "open" relationship.

[oncewere]

Back when my first wife and I were swinging we swung alone a lot. It was all within our club with people we knew we could trust so we never worried about it. We traveled a lot for work and it was normal for the one traveling to get together with someone in the club chapter there for recreational sex. Meanwhile, friends would come to visit the one of us who was home. We both often got it on with someone who's spouse was out of town, always with the othe's approval. We'd always let each other know. Read our story *At the cape* for an example. I certainly understand why couples would only like to swing togeter but different people have different boundaries. As one gets more experience the boundaries may or may noit change.

On the subject of being tired of the wife, I was only good for so much. Three times at one party and I was exhausted for a day or so. She, on the other hand, could go on and on like the everready bunny so she always got a lot more action than I did. It wasn't that i was tired of her, I was just tired.

[dutch51]

Wifey here-- Going it alone like that is something we just aren't able to do. Now I will say that one night I did go to our former club by myself (my own girl night out) while hubby was home with the kids. I did that because hubby wanted a guys' night with just the boys and no girls around, lol. I went to the club to see a couple who were friends of ours and hang out with the girl and there was no sex involved at all; it was purely social. Swinging alone like you mentioned, northindycpl, just isn't us. This is a couples activity for us, and without both halves there, then it's not fun.

M.