Jump to content

Recommended Posts

I've been noticing something new at the club lately - husbands who come to the club, drink, play pool, hang out, whatever - while their wives sneak upstairs to play with other women, single men, or whatever strikes their fancy. More often than not, the husband is in a foul mood while this is going on...

 

I know that for some couples this is cool - and the husbands don't really care. But most of the husbands do seem to care. In fact, they seem downright agitated.

 

One wife we knew would sneak upstairs with single men while her husband basically had his back turned... He'd notice she was gone and go barging into play rooms until he found her... And a fight would ensue...

 

Not hot...

 

The other couples we've seen seem to be in agreement with it, but at the same time, the husband looks rejected when the wife is off doing her thing.

 

We're more comfortable in the club environment now, so we see more than we used to. We're more aware, I guess, and this "phenomenon" is a bit surprising to us. It seems awfully common... In fact, the more I think of it, the more examples of it that I can come up with.

 

Is this inevitable "dark side" of the old saying "the husband gets them in, the wife keeps them in"? Is this a Pandora's box that some couples open; one that is ultimately not a very healthy thing? Does swinging start out for the couple - only to end up being about one partner's kink?

 

For us - we will only and always play together... Or not at all...

 

The funny thing is - some of these couples we've played with... And when we talked to them the first time, they each one (without exception) agreed with us that they only play together. But - the next time we see them, wifey is sneaking upstairs by herself with a playmate.

 

How common is this? Do you guys see it at your clubs or is this something unique here in Columbus?

Share this post


Link to post

Spoo -

 

We have been to two different off-premise clubs, once each. And even with that little experience with clubs, we felt this phenomenon present. Maybe it is one reason we haven't felt really comfy with the club scene.

 

The women move around, dance, prance, smile, flirt. Most husbands stay seated, or stand in place, unless they are brave enough to ask a woman to dance.

 

The couple we went to the club to meet had almost nothing to do with each other at the club--even though they sat next to each other at the table with us.

 

We saw little evidence of couples being affectionate with each other or playing together with others.

 

Most everyone seemed to be bouncing around with different people, one-on-one, packed into the same hotel suite.

 

This isn't true for everyone, I'm sure, but it seemed the norm the times we attended our local clubs.

Share this post


Link to post

It seems way more common at the clubs we go to than I would have ever thought. I don't know why it happens but I agree with you that it seems like it is pretty common.

 

We are the same as you guys, no play unless we both play.

 

Most of these couples seem like they thrive on drama or something. At the very least they seem to have issues that make them unatractive to us.

Share this post


Link to post

Most of these couples seem like they thrive on drama or something.

They must if they continue to come back and do it all over again the next week.

 

We haven't been to the clubs yet, I'll be curious to see how they're down here.

Share this post


Link to post
looking2swing said:
Dito I also think that kind of behavior is unacceptable. It falls more into the cheating category than swinging for us.

 

It certainly does especially if the husband is walking around wondering where his wife went. It's one thing to agree to play separate, those couples usually disappear about the same time and are playing but in separate rooms. But to leave your spouse (husband or wife) with no clue as to where you are or who your with :confused: your not swinging your cheating.

Share this post


Link to post
Mrs Spoomonkey said:
It certainly does especially if the husband is walking around wondering where his wife went.

 

Agreed...

 

But - here's my thing - one guy specifically (and you know who I mean, Mrs Spoo) is a really nice guy who rarely gets to play... His wife is more into other women (which is fine) and, unfortunately, that leaves him looking glum and playing pool by himself.

 

He knows what she is doing, but he gets the short end. He tries to put on a smile and act positive, but you can tell it really bothers him... I don't know... I like the guy, so I feel pretty bad for him.

 

I wonder if it is a case of husbands biting off more than they can chew...

 

You know?

 

One day they're trying to "convince" their reluctant wife, the next they're all sitting at the bar together, alone, drinking beer, watching porn and waiting for wifey to get done so he can go home...

 

If that happened to me, I'd definitely be wondering why I ever brought it up in the first place.

Share this post


Link to post
Spoomonkey said:
If that happened to me, I'd definitely be wondering why I ever brought it up in the first place.

 

Good thing is . . . . it will never happen to you :kissface:

Share this post


Link to post

You're sweet Mrs. Spoo. I have noticed the same thing with some couples. Some people may even think the same thing about us because I prefer to just sit and talk to a few people while Teresa likes to flit about like a butterfly and meet everyone there. She drops by for a kiss and a cuddle, maybe a dance and she's gone again. However, I'm not frowning or lonely. I hate it when people bring their drama into my funtime and don't like to see someone not enjoying themselves. Too many people don't need to be in this lifestyle yet insist on showing up. I don't know the answer.

 

Ted

Share this post


Link to post
Spoomonkey said:

But - here's my thing - one guy specifically (and you know who I mean, Mrs Spoo) is a really nice guy who rarely gets to play... His wife is more into other women (which is fine) and, unfortunately, that leaves him looking glum and playing pool by himself.

 

He knows what she is doing, but he gets the short end. He tries to put on a smile and act positive, but you can tell it really bothers him... I don't know... I like the guy, so I feel pretty bad for him.

 

Wow, I think I know this couple, or one just like them. I always feel sad for the guy too.

Share this post


Link to post

I know what you are talking about Spoomonkey, we have seen it happen more than once! I really feel bad for the guys.

 

My big question is though, What is the deal with the women changing their outfits throughout the night? Is there some secret meaning to this? I have noticed this at 104 more than any other club we have visited.

Share this post


Link to post
freakykitten said:
I know what you are talking about Spoomonkey, we have seen it happen more than once! I really feel bad for the guys.

 

My big question is though, What is the deal with the women changing their outfits throughout the night? Is there some secret meaning to this? I have noticed this at 104 more than any other club we have visited.

 

Hmmmm, maybe that's the only way they can get attention. :eek: Ouch! That was mean . . sorry :rolleyes: Seriously we have noticed that too. I really have no idea why they do that. We haven't been to too many other clubs to compare it but it does seem to happen a lot at 104.

Share this post


Link to post

HA! Finally a question I have the answer to. The women change because they have more outfits than they have nights out to wear them in. Teresa has year old dresses that have never been worn due to the fact that panhandle Floridians would burn her at the stake if she went out in them. Social time is time to show them off.

 

Ted

Share this post


Link to post
TNT said:
HA! Finally a question I have the answer to. The women change because they have more outfits than they have nights out to wear them in. Teresa has year old dresses that have never been worn due to the fact that panhandle Floridians would burn her at the stake if she went out in them. Social time is time to show them off.

Ted

 

:lol:

I say just go to the club more . . . makes for a good excuse, "Gee, honey I have 52 outfits I can't wear in public . . .we'll have to go to the club at least every other week or one Friday and Saturday night" :rolleyes:

 

:D

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty

I have a different take on this, so I will offer it.

 

Mrs naughty and I are strictly MFMers.

 

So when we are at clubs, or whatever, mrs naughty goes and flirts about. Meeting, kissing and just being generaly naughty.

 

I do not have a problem with this at all, in fact I LOVE it!! facelick

 

The way I look at it is when WE play together it is a mrs Naughty sandwhich. When we played with other couples it felt like WE weren't playing together even if we were in the same room.

 

Now Granted, she doesn't go off to another room with a single guy by herself when we are at a club . If she meets someone she likes she will introduce him to me.

 

If we are hanging out with someone we have already played with and she wants to take him to the other room to tear one off, I say By all means!!! But be sure an MFM is in her future before nights end! facelick

 

My whole fantasy that got us into swinging in the first place was to double mrs naughty's pleasure with a stunt cock.

 

When we did the "Couple thing" it took away from the expereince in a BIG way.

We came to a point where we really weren't having as much fun as we use to.

 

It was adding couples into the mix that was taking away from our fun.

 

Of course that puts out of the "Norm" for swinging couples but that is where we fit in and where we both get the most satisfaction.

 

Now, I am sure there are women out there who are dragging their husbands along the swinging road so they can get what they want, and screw what their husbands think.

 

But we are living proof that is not always the case.

 

As a matter of fact I am always the one egging Mrs naughty on for that next MFM. They are just AWESOME!! facelick

 

So, Next time you are at a club and you see a husband playing pool or just hanging out shooting the shit with others while his wife flirts about, it doesn't necessarily mean they have issues.

 

It just may be their thang. ;)

 

I know it's ours. :)

Share this post


Link to post

As open and honest and - well - blunt as we all claim to be, there are a few things we are reluctant to admit. For example, male homophobia (let's tackle that one in another post...), 'no pressure', and reverse sexism. 'The men get things going, the women keep things going' they say. While that is often true, and women in the vanilla world often get the short end of the stick, here in Swingersville it's the men who end up being put at a distinct disadvantage. For a woman who feels she's been done wrong by men in general, it's a prime opportunity for her to repay her poor male partner for the past wrongs done by him and his kind, whether real or imagined. This is certainly not always the case, and more of an exception to the rule. But just because we all like to live by a different set of social rules doesn't mean we don't fall victim to weaknesses of character or the tragic flaws that define us as human. Swinging has certainly had a positive impact on our marriage, but it has by no means perfected it!

 

I guess all I'm saying is that in a club, it's an environment that is very woman-oriented. She is given absolute freedom and veto-power. However, while we profess that it's about absolutely equal partnership, the power scale tips ever so slightly in the woman's favour. Enough so that if the woman says "No way!", it's the end of the conversation. No questions asked. But if it's the man putting limits on play... Well suddenly that opens up a whole new can of worms doesn't it?

Share this post


Link to post
Mrs Spoomonkey said:

:lol:

I say just go to the club more . . . makes for a good excuse, "Gee, honey I have 52 outfits I can't wear in public . . .we'll have to go to the club at least every other week or one Friday and Saturday night" :rolleyes:

 

:D

 

That would work Mrs. Spoo if there were any clubs close enough for us to attend every Friday and Saturday night. Unfortunately, the closest club is over two hours away so we have to make do with Socials, which only happen once a month.

 

Of course it would also help if Ted would stop buying me all those damn dresses...I seriously can make every social and the occasional club visit and never wear the same dress twice in a year's time.

 

Teresa

 

P.S. Don't tell him I said that :lol:...I really like him buying me new dresses.

Share this post


Link to post

We've seen the same at the club we go to - ladies wandering off while their men sit around in the social area. I can't say I have ever seen it lead to problems or fights though. Everyone seems happy with it. One time Red did the same with one guy who particularly attracted her attention that night, though that isn't how we usually do things though. It certainly wasn't a problem. We like to stay flexible :)

Share this post


Link to post

I guess all I'm saying is that in a club, it's an environment that is very woman-oriented. She is given absolute freedom and veto-power. However, while we profess that it's about absolutely equal partnership, the power scale tips ever so slightly in the woman's favour. Enough so that if the woman says "No way!", it's the end of the conversation. No questions asked. But if it's the man putting limits on play... Well suddenly that opens up a whole new can of worms doesn't it?

We've only been to one club, although we've been many times. We haven't witnessed this "power scale" to any significant degree. We certainly aren't a part of it! We've been in situations in which one of us was uncomfortable, unattracted, or just didn't want to continue for various reasons. Saying no, or stop, meant just that. It didn't mean maybe, it didn't mean let's talk about it, it didn't mean when you are finished, it meant stop, and we stopped. Hasn't ever mattered if it was Mr. or Mrs. JC saying stop, or no. The end result is the same. We would think that any individual (male or female) that doesn't have the love and respect for their spouse to stop or not do something when asked, shouldn't be involved in swinging.

Share this post


Link to post
jcbicouple said:
We would think that any individual (male or female) that doesn't have the love and respect for their spouse to stop or not do something when asked, shouldn't be involved in swinging.

 

Dito

 

I also want to point out that I'm not talking about "social butterflies". I am talking about couples who seem to be there just for her - even when he is pretty miserable. That's what I mean.

Share this post


Link to post
I don't think badly about you - I have bad thoughts ;)

 

Spoomonkey

 

OH MY :eek: Words I have been dying to hear :lol:

 

Teresa :kissface:

Share this post


Link to post
jcbicouple said:
We've only been to one club, although we've been many times. We haven't witnessed this "power scale" to any significant degree. We certainly aren't a part of it! We've been in situations in which one of us was uncomfortable, unattracted, or just didn't want to continue for various reasons. Saying no, or stop, meant just that. It didn't mean maybe, it didn't mean let's talk about it, it didn't mean when you are finished, it meant stop, and we stopped. Hasn't ever mattered if it was Mr. or Mrs. JC saying stop, or no. The end result is the same. We would think that any individual (male or female) that doesn't have the love and respect for their spouse to stop or not do something when asked, shouldn't be involved in swinging.

 

Notice I mentioned the scales tipped "ever so slightly" in the woman's favour. For the record, we heartily agree that there should be equality, and it's a rule we live by. I can't imagine either of us disappearing on the other...especially deliberately trying to be sneaky about it! Why should we, when we're both free to do as we please without the deception?

 

I was just pointing out that as free and liberal as we all profess to be, the reality is people are just people. There is no swingers Utopia. I was trying to emphasize the unfairness of the situation. We've only been to a few clubs ourselves, and none on premises, but the concept is the same. We've seen some obviously misplaced couples walk through the club doors, immediately break contact with one another and not speak a word to each other the whole night. Maybe this is ok for some folks, but certainly not for us. We do this as a shared activity, not to get away from each other.

 

We've also seen couples that were mismatched, where one was much more attractive than the other, or where one was plainly not enjoying the evening as much as the other. This just ruins the fun for everyone. Why do they even bother?

Share this post


Link to post

I the male half here. I'd like to take a shot at this one.

 

I'd be willing to bet my bottom dollar that in more situations then not, this is "the scorned" woman. They either agree with hubby to swing or get him into it, then its about "pay back" due to something he may have done in the past....like cheating on her.

 

Very possible. It just a sneaky way of doing it.

 

Cheers.

Share this post


Link to post

Perhaps it's the water in North Texas, but like the naughtys, MFM's are our preference. When she is flitting and flirting, that's part of the hunt and I'm not lonely or morose sitting at the bar, I'm aroused and privately contemplating the possibilities. If she is indulging in a little one-on-one, it's merely priming the pump for later and she's doing it with my knowledge and encouragement.

 

We have discovered that finding a compatible couple is just too difficult and we are not into taking one for the flag. We are a mis-matched pair and while both men and women are attracted to her beauty and personality, I'm not the type of guy who lights fires quickly. She doesn't go for pretty boys, so finding a matching couple is a lost cause.

 

We have experienced a few FMF playtimes, but they are not our favorite. While it's the dream of every man, nature has not prepared the male body to perform to the degree expected, so even with FF activity, there is something lacking. The MFM combination is perfect for her pleasure and despite being totally straight, I enjoy it also.

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty

Hey HeAndD,

 

Maybe we should start a support group or even better, open our own club!! :lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Hey HeAndD,

 

Maybe we should start a support group or even better, open our own club!! :lol:

 

We might have to....it appears we are a distinct minority. It would be fun to have a group of very select, closely screened men for the ladies to choose from. God knows, a lot of single guys are singing the blues about being unwelcome to the sport.

Share this post


Link to post

Anything can and everything does happen at clubs and that is what makes it so great. My wife is a total flirt, we have our circle of friends we meet at the club, if we separate or loose contact in the course of the night, it’s OK, the place gets crowded on weekends, women constantly are going to the bathrooms, if she meets someone on the dance floor or along the way and finds herself in a play area without telling me first, it’s fine with me, she finds me eventually to make her introduction(s), and the night continues. This happens more often when we’re with our crowd of friends and knows that I’m in good hands for that stretch of time.

Share this post


Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Similar Content

    • By SPaige24
      My husband and I have been together for almost 10 years. I have always been bi- curious, but kept it as secret until the last month. Little did I know that he had a small feeling (thanks to a few drunk nights with my friend). Our marriage is very strong, and we are very opened with each other. I told him that I wanted to have a have sexual encounter with another female. He is on board, and we even talked about a MFM threesome as well.
       
      Here is my issue... How do I find someone? That friend is no longer a friend, I can't do dating apps because of my job, and I personally don't want someone we know. I have looked into Swinger Clubs, and I realize that finding a bisexual/lesbian female who is single is hard. We are opened to a couple if need be. I just want my husband there and or involved.
       
      My question is... What is it like going to a swingers club? Will there be people our age (27-30), are "predators" real, and how do I find a club? We are located in Washington, PA.
    • By AdamGunn2
      It was a fairly typical night at D.J.s Island, an early autumn evening. Mary and I hadn’t set anything up in advance, we’d decided to go almost at the last moment. From the second we entered the door our radar was beaming across the club, searching for a couple that might be searching for what we were also interested in - an enjoyable tryst.
       
      Mary took a few minutes to change into what she called a ‘trolling outfit.’ As I remember, that night it was a black babydoll with a loose bodice, thong, low heels. Many men admired her legs as I checked the forty or so women, many as scantily clad as my wife. None of our regular playmates seemed to be in attendance that evening, but we had our customs, we weren’t concerned. Perhaps an hour and a half later, I sat at a table next to the dance floor, Mary was on her feet, on the parquet, moving her body, seeing if anyone would move in. A slow sequence of men approached her, danced with her. Some would take liberties such as moving their hands under her garment, feeling the small of her back, perhaps place their palm on the roundness of her ass.
       
      I’d seen this many times before, I waited for one of two reactions.
       
      The first was that she’d spin away from the man; it signified she wasn’t interested in what he had to offer.
       
      The second was that she’d get closer, I’d watch her whisper in his ear. I knew the question, “Where’s your wife?” Some of them would shake their heads, they were attending as one of the few single men the club allowed, and when they received Mary’s response, they’d move away - that’s not what we were looking for at the moment.
       
      But the man might indicate where his wife was dancing a few feet away. When this kind of thing happened, Mary would glance to me and give our special signal - she’d put one hand on the back of her head, one on her stomach. When I got the cue, I’d come out, we’d dance as a foursome.
       
      As I approached, a man grasped the elbow of a tall attractive lady who was more modestly dressed, at least for the club. There was no conversation on the dance floor, the heavy volume of music and the thumping of the bass wouldn’t allow for speech. But I could tell the woman was interested in me, the four of us paired off and I often found myself facing this vixen. It was obvious they were as interested in us as I was in them, I could tell by the way Mary was rubbing against the man that she felt the same.
       
      After a couple of songs, Mary led the way off the floor, holding his hand, leading us off into a corner away from the speakers. As we sat, the man said, “I’m Ed, this is my wife, Marilyn.”
       
      Marilyn and I softly shook hands, I believe she raised the hem of her skirt to give me a view of her upper thighs. Ed had no problem seeing Mary’s legs, or where they met - she was sitting so that the babydoll was gathered to her side, leaning forward so her globes were exposed to his view.
       
      “Do you come here often?” Ed asked.
       
      “Every few weeks,” I responded, “you?”
       
      “This is our first time here.” Mary gave him a look that asked for further info. “We’re just starting this,” he admitted.
       
      Marilyn picked it up. “We’ve only had one time with a couple of friends. We liked it, heard about this place, decided to see if we could get into more trouble.”
       
      “Trouble’s our middle name,” I joked.
       
      Our conversation continued, where do you live, what movies have you seen lately, etc. It was a screen, of course, we were all calculating if the four of us would be pleasurable bedmates. I paid my attention to Marilyn, my wife had told me numerous times not to worry about her, she can take care of herself. My hand found Marilyn’s knee, she smiled at me, encouraged me to reach a tad higher. We bent towards each other, our mouths met.
       
      Marilyn opened her lips to me, the kiss was ardent, her mouth moist. She licked at my upper lip, her hand fondled the back of my neck. Our tongues clashed, promising cupidity, mimicking what I presumed our bodies might be doing in a few scant moments.
       
      We broke for a moment, Marilyn invited, “Would you guys want to go to one of the rooms?”
       
      I, of course, was all for it, but then I heard Mary. “Uh, not right now. But thanks.”
       
      We’ve always had the guideline that if one person doesn’t want to do something, she speaks for both of us. Regretfully, I pecked at Marilyn’s lips a last time, we stood, went separate ways.
       
      “You’re not upset, are you?” Mary asked me.
       
      “Of course not, not at all. You’re not in the mood?”
       
      “Oh, I’m in the mood all right, just not with Ed.”
       
      “Something wrong with him?” I asked.
       
      “I tried to get him interested,” Mary revealed, “but his kiss was a little cold, indifferent. I put my hand on his leg, he was too busy watching you and Marilyn, he never responded. My guess is that if we went into a room, he’d be watching you two, I’m not even sure he’d get hard for me.” It was a reasonable thought, it had happened to us a couple times before. “Hope you don’t mind, bet she’d have been a firecracker.”
       
      “Maybe. But you’re a firecracker too.”
       
      We headed back to the dance floor, in search of another couple.
    • By Sudhit
      One of my friends was mentioning that his wife got invited for a vacation with one of their regular playmates. It would be a 4 day vacation, where only the wife goes with the BF, hubby stays back.
       
      Has anyone any experience of this scenario, they are swinger and cuckold couple.
×
×
  • Create New...