How common are open marriages within swinging?

ThumpMusic · 09-29-2004, 12:07 PM

So i've heard about open marriages and am curious about them but don't really understand how they work. I was wondering how common they are in the lifestyle. I basically understand how it would work for a poly-relationship if they all like each other, but would like to hear some of your thoughts/opinions/experiences on it. It's sometimes hard enough with two people so I wonder how you do it with three or more? Are there problems of partners being closer to one than the other..?

Thanks!
-Thump

**LikeMinds321** · 09-29-2004, 01:21 PM

I have never equated swinging with being in an open marriage.

I don't even know what defines an open marriage.

Could someone define it?

LM

fun_pairTX · 09-29-2004, 01:32 PM

An open marriage is one where both partners are free to see/ date/ have sex with others as they wish. We don't equate open marriage with swinging as we regard swinging as a couples activity.

**LikeMinds321** · 09-29-2004, 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fun_pairTX

An open marriage is one where both partners are free to see/ date/ have sex with others as they wish.

This is what I thought, and I imagine the partners don't consult or get an okay from the other when choosing a person to play with. Each freely goes in their own direction.

Most definately different from swinging.

Thanks fun fairTX.

LM

akamgaxoxo · 09-29-2004, 02:03 PM

So I am also gathering from this thread that solo swinging is really in actuality an "open marriage"....we have contemplated solo swinging...but really in the end, I want to bring this guy over for a MFM....but my hubby knows about this man, has met him, chatted with him and gives his approval for me to try a solo session whenever I am ready. And in the end I will be sharing the experience with my hubby and let him know all the dirty details. So maybe to some this is not swinging per se, but the sharing part is still there for us...and for us that still makes it a couples activity. As in we have made the decision together and are on the same page with our feelings.

ThumpMusic · 09-29-2004, 02:47 PM

I think i confused "open marriage" for poly-amorous relationship. One where three or more people are committed to each other in a relationship, in some instances all living together etc. I saw a movie that centered around this topic a long time ago but don't remember it.

**LikeMinds321** · 09-29-2004, 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by akamgaxoxo

So I am also gathering from this thread that solo swinging is really in actuality an "open marriage"....we have contemplated solo swinging...but really in the end, I want to bring this guy over for a MFM....but my hubby knows about this man, has met him, chatted with him and gives his approval for me to try a solo session whenever I am ready. And in the end I will be sharing the experience with my hubby and let him know all the dirty details. So maybe to some this is not swinging per se, but the sharing part is still there for us...and for us that still makes it a couples activity. As in we have made the decision together and are on the same page with our feelings.

This is another way to describe an open marriage - a more positive way than I described above.

akamgaxoxo - Is your husband completely uninterested in having sex with others? Would he even consider being a voyeur while you're having sex?

LM

akamgaxoxo · 09-29-2004, 04:06 PM

Lm-Yes my hubby and I currently do MFM...and we love it! He loves helping the other male "seduce" me haha...and the experience is truely erotic. He also likes watching as my friend and I get it on....he finds this to be a big turn on. We have not gone the couples route as he really doesn't feel the need to be with other woman. He says I am enough for him and that's the way he wants it for now. I can't question his motives, but if he loves what we are doing currently, I am all for that.

**LikeMinds321** · 09-29-2004, 04:22 PM

Thanks akamgaxoxo - Now that I know more I'd call you swingers.

It is my view that if one spouse goes out to play on their own now and then with the agreement of their spouse that's perfectly "swingy"

Already Mr LM and I can see where this could happen with the couple we are now seeing. They live about two hours away, he comes into our town on occasion for business and we have discussed the possibility of a threesome in the future. His wife is okay with this and we certainly would work out a way to provide her with something special in a threesome in return. facelick

LM

hytril · 09-29-2004, 06:29 PM

Its always been my understading that an "open marriage" everyone does who and what they want without reguard / knowledge / consent of their SO. Where as swinging is everyone is in the know and everyone agrees / is ok with what is happening. I have seen an "open marriage" before. And it burned and crashed in a not so glorious blaze of flame. They ended up getting divorced. Not trying to judge anyone that is just the way it happened.

09-30-2004, 12:58 AM

Quote:

Posted by Thumpmusic:

I think i confused "open marriage" for poly-amorous relationship. One where three or more people are committed to each other in a relationship, in some instances all living together etc. I saw a movie that centered around this topic a long time ago but don't remember it

Maybe I have it wrong but I think a poly relationship is where the sex is exclusive between a couple and a male or female and there is an emotional relationship that exceeds friendship.

Where as an open marriage means that either one in the couple is free to see, date, have sex with anyone they want with out the other being physicaly present.

I could be wrong.

**Mrs Spoomonkey** · 09-30-2004, 06:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr&Mrs-naughty

Maybe I have it wrong but I think a poly relationship is where the sex is exclusive between a couple and a male or female and there is an emotional relationship that exceeds friendship.

Where as an open marriage means that either one in the couple is free to see, date, have sex with anyone they want with out the other being physicaly present.

I could be wrong.

I believe you are right. This has always been the understanding that I have had of the two, open and poly. I don't think open marriage falls into a lifestyle swinging relationship since they don't ask,and I get the impression don't care, if the other spouse knows who or when the other is with someone.
Swinging is more of a couples activity that they engage in together (even if they do separate rooms) keeping the communication open about who they are with and it fuels hot activity between them

Mrs Spoomonkey

sepacouple · 09-30-2004, 06:06 AM

I agree with what Mr. Naughty said

oncewere · 09-30-2004, 08:07 AM

When my first wife and I were swinging we normally swung together at homes or at parties but when one of us were traveling on business we often hooked up with club members wherever we were. Our local club members made sure the one of us at home didn't get lonely. We liked to phone each other in the midst of playing to share the action. Once she had me paged at a conference and after a ten minute call I couldn't concentrate on the conference talks the rest of the day. Boy did we have fun when I got back home.

***JustAskJulie*** · 09-30-2004, 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr&Mrs-naughty

Maybe I have it wrong but I think a poly relationship is where the sex is exclusive between a couple and a male or female and there is an emotional relationship that exceeds friendship.

Where as an open marriage means that either one in the couple is free to see, date, have sex with anyone they want with out the other being physicaly present.

I could be wrong.

I think that pretty well narrows it down.

I don't, however, feel that solo swinging automatically means open marriage.

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09-29-2004, 12:07 PM	#1 (permalink)
ThumpMusic Active Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 11 Location: Los Angeles Status: Single Male	How common are open marriages within swinging? So i've heard about open marriages and am curious about them but don't really understand how they work. I was wondering how common they are in the lifestyle. I basically understand how it would work for a poly-relationship if they all like each other, but would like to hear some of your thoughts/opinions/experiences on it. It's sometimes hard enough with two people so I wonder how you do it with three or more? Are there problems of partners being closer to one than the other..? Thanks! -Thump

09-29-2004, 01:21 PM	#2 (permalink)
LikeMinds321 Let's get comfortable... Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 8,356 Location: On the couch Status: Married to Mr LM	Re: Open Marriages? I have never equated swinging with being in an open marriage. I don't even know what defines an open marriage. Could someone define it? LM

09-29-2004, 01:32 PM	#3 (permalink)
fun_pairTX Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 1,185 Location: Ennis, Texas Status: Couple	Re: Open Marriages An open marriage is one where both partners are free to see/ date/ have sex with others as they wish. We don't equate open marriage with swinging as we regard swinging as a couples activity. __________________ fun_pairTX

09-29-2004, 02:03 PM	#5 (permalink)
akamgaxoxo Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 221 Location: Maryland	Re: Open Marriages? So I am also gathering from this thread that solo swinging is really in actuality an "open marriage"....we have contemplated solo swinging...but really in the end, I want to bring this guy over for a MFM....but my hubby knows about this man, has met him, chatted with him and gives his approval for me to try a solo session whenever I am ready. And in the end I will be sharing the experience with my hubby and let him know all the dirty details. So maybe to some this is not swinging per se, but the sharing part is still there for us...and for us that still makes it a couples activity. As in we have made the decision together and are on the same page with our feelings.

09-29-2004, 02:47 PM	#6 (permalink)
ThumpMusic Active Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 11 Location: Los Angeles Status: Single Male	Re: Open Marriages? I think i confused "open marriage" for poly-amorous relationship. One where three or more people are committed to each other in a relationship, in some instances all living together etc. I saw a movie that centered around this topic a long time ago but don't remember it.

09-29-2004, 04:06 PM	#8 (permalink)
akamgaxoxo Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 221 Location: Maryland	Re: Open Marriages? Lm-Yes my hubby and I currently do MFM...and we love it! He loves helping the other male "seduce" me haha...and the experience is truely erotic. He also likes watching as my friend and I get it on....he finds this to be a big turn on. We have not gone the couples route as he really doesn't feel the need to be with other woman. He says I am enough for him and that's the way he wants it for now. I can't question his motives, but if he loves what we are doing currently, I am all for that.

09-29-2004, 04:22 PM	#9 (permalink)
LikeMinds321 Let's get comfortable... Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 8,356 Location: On the couch Status: Married to Mr LM	Re: Open Marriages? Thanks akamgaxoxo - Now that I know more I'd call you swingers. It is my view that if one spouse goes out to play on their own now and then with the agreement of their spouse that's perfectly "swingy" Already Mr LM and I can see where this could happen with the couple we are now seeing. They live about two hours away, he comes into our town on occasion for business and we have discussed the possibility of a threesome in the future. His wife is okay with this and we certainly would work out a way to provide her with something special in a threesome in return. facelick LM

09-29-2004, 06:29 PM	#10 (permalink)
hytril Active Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 44 Location: houston Status: M. Male (married to talltxlady) SLS Name:hytril	Re: Open Marriages? Its always been my understading that an "open marriage" everyone does who and what they want without reguard / knowledge / consent of their SO. Where as swinging is everyone is in the know and everyone agrees / is ok with what is happening. I have seen an "open marriage" before. And it burned and crashed in a not so glorious blaze of flame. They ended up getting divorced. Not trying to judge anyone that is just the way it happened.

09-30-2004, 06:06 AM	#13 (permalink)
sepacouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 108 Location: southeastern PA Status: couple	Re: Open Marriages? I agree with what Mr. Naughty said

09-30-2004, 08:07 AM	#14 (permalink)
oncewere Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 115 Location: Eastern Washington Status: couple	Re: Open Marriages? When my first wife and I were swinging we normally swung together at homes or at parties but when one of us were traveling on business we often hooked up with club members wherever we were. Our local club members made sure the one of us at home didn't get lonely. We liked to phone each other in the midst of playing to share the action. Once she had me paged at a conference and after a ten minute call I couldn't concentrate on the conference talks the rest of the day. Boy did we have fun when I got back home. __________________ once were nostalgic for the good old days E Wash

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