View Poll Results: Is the "Hot Wife" lifestyle a part of swinging?

Voters
83. You may not vote on this poll
  • Yes, if her husband knows and approves

    53 63.86%
  • No, a couple must be involved in the act.

    5 6.02%
  • Yes, if the couple talks about her experience afterward.

    13 15.66%
  • No, it has nothing to do with swinging.

    12 14.46%
Page 3 of 6 FirstFirst 1 2 3 4 5 6 LastLast
Results 31 to 45 of 78
  1. #31
    Breaking Barriers cupl4fun's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    New Mexico
    Posts
    444
    Post Thanks / Like
    Status
    couple, he mostly posts, she reads and points out his mistakes

    Default Re: Is a "Hot Wife" a part of swinging?

    "Perhaps a good question is why do "hot wives" or perhaps their husbands, want to be called swingers?"

    Easier to be included and meet people if you are a part of the "group" called swingers, i.e. wearing the moniker opens doorways. The same reason lots of cheating husbands want to call themselves swingers. But like I said earlier, if they have "Lincoln approval" (Curb Your Enthusiasm reference) from their spouse, I personally don't think it really matters what they call themselves as long as they are open and honest with any potential partners.
    Last edited by cupl4fun; 07-18-2012 at 06:08 PM. Reason: Damn it! Still a shitty typist.
    Screw You Guys. I'm Goin' Home.
    Cupl4fun

  2. #32
    South of disorder WesternSwing's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Utah
    Posts
    3,017
    Post Thanks / Like
    Status
    Single Male

    Default Re: Is a "Hot Wife" a part of swinging?

    It all depends on your definition of swinging. If it's "both members of a couple get some strange on or about the same time" than no, hot-wifing is not swinging. But there are swingers who hot-wife and there are those who primarily hot-wife that swing. So there is a cross-over.

    So though it's been posted before, I'll direct you to Franklin Veaux's excellent Venn diagram of non-monogamy http://tacit.livejournal.com/333842.html
    "Sex is something you do, sexuality is something you are." ~ Anna Freud
    Blog: Bigger Love

  3. #33
    Swingers Board Addict BeStylnIT's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Memphis
    Posts
    156
    Post Thanks / Like
    Status
    Single Male

    Default

    Yes, by my definition it is. Swinging is when a couple allows themselves to play with others; while it isn't effecting the marriage or how much they care for one another. So whatever the scenario I say it is still swinging.

  4. #34
    Not a potential *** Chicup's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    Under the bed
    Posts
    5,595
    Post Thanks / Like
    Status
    Tired

    Default Re: Is a "Hot Wife" a part of swinging?

    Quote Originally Posted by BeStylnIT View Post
    Yes, by my definition it is. Swinging is when a couple allows themselves to play with others; while it isn't effecting the marriage or how much they care for one another. So whatever the scenario I say it is still swinging.
    So an open marriage is swinging by your definition as is being a cuckold.

  5. #35
    South of disorder WesternSwing's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Utah
    Posts
    3,017
    Post Thanks / Like
    Status
    Single Male

    Default Re: Is a "Hot Wife" a part of swinging?

    Quote Originally Posted by Chicup View Post
    So an open marriage is swinging by your definition as is being a cuckold.
    I would say swinging is a subset of an open marriage/open relationship, therefore all swingers have an open marriage/open relationship while not all who have an open marriage/open relationship swing.
    "Sex is something you do, sexuality is something you are." ~ Anna Freud
    Blog: Bigger Love

  6. #36
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Chicago Il
    Posts
    343
    Post Thanks / Like
    Status
    couple
    SLS Handle
    partyperks847

    Default Re: Is a "Hot Wife" a part of swinging?

    Quote Originally Posted by WesternSwing View Post
    I would say swinging is a subset of an open marriage/open relationship, therefore all swingers have an open marriage/open relationship while not all who have an open marriage/open relationship swing.
    We may be dealing in semantics here, but in no way shape or form do we have an open marriage/open relationship. In fact swing has little to do with our Marriage/Relationship.

    Yes, by my definition it is. Swinging is when a couple allows themselves to play with others; while it isn't effecting the marriage or how much they care for one another. So whatever the scenario I say it is still swinging
    .

    To me that's way to broad a definition. IMHO swinging involves both partners and or 3 or more people

    So an open marriage is swinging by your definition as is being a cuckold.
    To me cuckolding is swinging, hotwifeing is not. Reason being cuckholding involves both partners, generally hotwifieng does not.

  7. #37
    Swingers Board Addict km34's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Oregon, USA
    Posts
    1,106
    Post Thanks / Like
    Status
    Couple - she posts
    SLS Handle
    km34

    Default Re: Is a "Hot Wife" a part of swinging?

    Quote Originally Posted by WesternSwing View Post
    I would say swinging is a subset of an open marriage/open relationship, therefore all swingers have an open marriage/open relationship while not all who have an open marriage/open relationship swing.
    That's how I've always seen it as well.

    Open relationship = nonmonogamous in general, whether it be sexually, romantically, or both.

  8. #38
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Chicago Il
    Posts
    343
    Post Thanks / Like
    Status
    couple
    SLS Handle
    partyperks847

    Default Re: Is a "Hot Wife" a part of swinging?

    Quote Originally Posted by km34 View Post
    That's how I've always seen it as well.

    Open relationship = nonmonogamous in general, whether it be sexually, romantically, or both.

    Just so I understand your position, you make no distinction between a couple who is in a lifestyle guided by general rules with personal boundaries and perimeters with the emphasis on mutual gratification, and a couple who's marriage is based on serial nonmonogamy absent the other partners participation, and if we agree on the definition of "open marriage", sometimes without the other partners knowledge (at least till after the fact) or any approval process with the emphasis on personal gratification?

  9. #39
    Swingers Board Addict km34's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Oregon, USA
    Posts
    1,106
    Post Thanks / Like
    Status
    Couple - she posts
    SLS Handle
    km34

    Default Re: Is a "Hot Wife" a part of swinging?

    Quote Originally Posted by Partyperks847 View Post
    Just so I understand your position, you make no distinction between a couple who is in a lifestyle guided by general rules with personal boundaries and perimeters with the emphasis on mutual gratification, and a couple who's marriage is based on serial nonmonogamy absent the other partners participation, and if we agree on the definition of "open marriage", sometimes without the other partners knowledge (at least till after the fact) or any approval process with the emphasis on personal gratification?
    That's not my position at all.

    Open relationships, IMO, are ETHICALLY nonmonogamous relationships of any form. That means that any partner(s) must know and approve of that type of relationship structure. Swinging falls under ethical nonmonogamy, therefore falls under the umbrella term of open relationship.

    For me, swinging is a subcategory under the general heading of "open" that is a couple-centric activity. So, as I said earlier in the thread, I would consider a couple who "hotewifes" to be swingers if they play together at some point and/or do the "hotwifing" in a way that is still about their relationship, but just in a general open relationship (sexually) if it is just her going off and he's not really involved at all.

    In my experience, all varieties of open/nonmonogamous relationships are guided by general rules. That is most definitely not exclusive to swinging. Even cheaters (which I do NOT include in open relationship - cheating lacks the ETHICAL part) generally have "rules" - i.e. spouse can't know, limited contact, or whatever else eases their conscious/minimizes risk of being found out.

  10. #40
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Chicago Il
    Posts
    343
    Post Thanks / Like
    Status
    couple
    SLS Handle
    partyperks847

    Default Re: Is a "Hot Wife" a part of swinging?

    Quote Originally Posted by km34 View Post
    That's not my position at all.

    Open relationships, IMO, are ETHICALLY nonmonogamous relationships of any form. That means that any partner(s) must know and approve of that type of relationship structure. Swinging falls under ethical nonmonogamy, therefore falls under the umbrella term of open relationship.

    For me, swinging is a subcategory under the general heading of "open" that is a couple-centric activity. So, as I said earlier in the thread, I would consider a couple who "hotewifes" to be swingers if they play together at some point and/or do the "hotwifing" in a way that is still about their relationship, but just in a general open relationship (sexually) if it is just her going off and he's not really involved at all.

    In my experience, all varieties of open/nonmonogamous relationships are guided by general rules. That is most definitely not exclusive to swinging. Even cheaters (which I do NOT include in open relationship - cheating lacks the ETHICAL part) generally have "rules" - i.e. spouse can't know, limited contact, or whatever else eases their conscious/minimizes risk of being found out.

    I guess we have a disagreement of semantics and definition. My "marriage and Relationship" (Two separate women) have little to do with sex with others and it is by no means and by no stretch of the imagination "open"

    Based on friends who have this "open" relationship (some swing some don't) the term "open" implies just that, that both partners have agreed to allow the other to see and play with others at will without discussion or impunity....this does not exist in the same galaxy as my relationships or the relationships of the vast majority of lifestyle couples I know.

    Again, it may be semantics, but if indeed there is a requirement for discussion before the fact and it's governed by rules, I would suggest that is not an "open" marriage.

  11. #41
    Swingers Board Addict km34's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Oregon, USA
    Posts
    1,106
    Post Thanks / Like
    Status
    Couple - she posts
    SLS Handle
    km34

    Default Re: Is a "Hot Wife" a part of swinging?

    Quote Originally Posted by Partyperks847 View Post
    I guess we have a disagreement of semantics and definition. My "marriage and Relationship" (Two separate women) have little to do with sex with others and it is by no means and by no stretch of the imagination "open"

    Based on friends who have this "open" relationship (some swing some don't) the term "open" implies just that, that both partners have agreed to allow the other to see and play with others at will without discussion or impunity....this does not exist in the same galaxy as my relationships or the relationships of the vast majority of lifestyle couples I know.

    Again, it may be semantics, but if indeed there is a requirement for discussion before the fact and it's governed by rules, I would suggest that is not an "open" marriage.
    What you describe as an open relationship, I would describe as a DADT arrangement within an open relationship.

    The semantics is what makes these types of discussions interesting. Everyone seems to have their own set of connotations and definitions.

  12. #42
    Sunny...For Your Pleasure sunbuckus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    The hot desert
    Posts
    2,842
    Post Thanks / Like
    Status
    Couple - She posts mostly

    Default Re: Is a "Hot Wife" a part of swinging?

    Quote Originally Posted by Partyperks847 View Post
    To me cuckolding is swinging, hotwifeing is not. Reason being cuckholding involves both partners, generally hotwifieng does not.
    Okay, I have to ask...what is hot wifeing and what is cuckholding? I thought they were the same.

  13. #43
    Swingers Board Guide SW_PA_Couple's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
    Posts
    8,621
    Post Thanks / Like
    Status
    Happily married to a wild woman
    SLS Handle
    SW_PA_COUPLE

    Default Re: Is a "Hot Wife" a part of swinging?

    Other can refine my definitions if needed but I believe a hot wife brings people home to the husband or is watched by the husband as she picks up someone like at a bar; cuckhold means the husband having no interest in "sex with others" sits at home waiting for his wife to come back maybe with and maybe without some kind of story to tell about her evening's adventure.
    Spelling, punctuation and grammar are not style choices. You can either know your shit or you can know you're shit.

  14. #44
    Swingers Board Addict km34's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Oregon, USA
    Posts
    1,106
    Post Thanks / Like
    Status
    Couple - she posts
    SLS Handle
    km34

    Default Re: Is a "Hot Wife" a part of swinging?

    Quote Originally Posted by SW_PA_Couple View Post
    Other can refine my definitions if needed but I believe a hot wife brings people home to the husband or is watched by the husband as she picks up someone like at a bar; cuckhold means the husband having no interest in "sex with others" sits at home waiting for his wife to come back maybe with and maybe without some kind of story to tell about her evening's adventure.
    Pretty close to what I've always thought on the hotwife definition... Although cuckolding is traditionally about humiliation, not disinterest. Specifically targeting men who are better looking, have larger penises, better stamina, something like that so that the husband is forced to watch his wife be pleasured better than he himself is able. I think lately it has become more widely accepted as a term for a couple where the hubby doesn't play, whereas historically a man was labelled "cuckold" where another more powerful/virile man forced him into a secondary position (at least sexually) so that he was still responsible for wife, family, etc while the other man is getting the "spoils."

  15. #45
    Sunny...For Your Pleasure sunbuckus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    The hot desert
    Posts
    2,842
    Post Thanks / Like
    Status
    Couple - She posts mostly

    Default Re: Is a "Hot Wife" a part of swinging?

    Thanks guys for the clarification. Cuckolding is definitely not my thing. I wouldn't mind doing the hot wife thing though.

Page 3 of 6 FirstFirst 1 2 3 4 5 6 LastLast

Tags for this Thread

Similar Threads

  1. Wife wants "spontaneous" but I'm considering "arranging" something...
    By coquinous in forum Finding People to Swing With
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 09-21-2010, 05:42 PM
  2. My wife is so close to saying "yes" to swinging
    By cathy&neil in forum How do I convince my partner to swing?
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 07-22-2008, 04:34 PM

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •