A unique birthday gift

[femnewb4u2]

I have enjoyed the delightful company of a married gentleman, with blessings from his wife, upon occasion when he has been in town for his job. He travels quite a bit for work; leaving their options to swing as a couple limited due to time constraints. His lack of being home has led to an open relationship for them over time. I am the first one to enter the arrangement, since they opened their swinging up to separate play, on his side. She has been active in the arrangement with others for some time.

While I only play with him, his wife and I have maintained email and IM contact throughout my knowing him.

Yesterday the wife discovered it was my birthday today. Quickly a conversation was had with the husband and an invitation extended to me, by her, to come spend this weekend with them. A wonderful surprise! There are no plans for play, just lots of fun and conversation. We will be using the time to get to know each other better and to sort out separate play vs open marriage. I am excited and nervous at the same time. I am honored they care enough about me to want to bring me in as someone who can be friends with both of them. At the same time, I realize after conversations we may find that we are not all on the same page and I could lose a wonderful play partner. I also know that it may turn out to be the begining of an exciting journey.

Please accept my apologies for my ramble and my poorly constructed paragraphs and thoughts. I simply wanted those of you to know the following: It is through reading posts in this forum topic and others I believe I have a better feel for what I am walking into, what I need to pay attention to, flags to continue to watch for and how good it could be. Thank you.

[fun4Ds]

First and foremost HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!!

Glad we could offer any guidance you might have been seeking here on the Swingers Board

We think from your posts, thoughts, and knowing more about you.....

You genuinely are a Golden Unicorn. That someone special behind the title.

Our hopes and wishes are that you just relish in this, new adventure.

[LFM2]

Totally agree with fun4D's. We hope you have a wonderful Happy Birthday!!

[mixtupcpl]

Happy birthday!!! (you guys are really good with those uber animated icons) Ill just have to stick with simple text!

Good luck with your trip and whichever way it goes have fun!

If you don't mind sharing, curious why you think you may not be on the same page?

Oh, and btw, your paragraphs are *really* well constructed! (pun intended)

[sweet_tna]

How exciting for you!

[Additude]

Happy B-Day.

Ya' gotta love risk.... ummmmm, such excitement.

Conduct yourself in a manner that you expect your outcome to be.

[femnewb4u2]

Originally Posted by fun4Ds

First and foremost HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!!

Glad we could offer any guidance you might have been seeking here on the Swingers Board

We think from your posts, thoughts, and knowing more about you.....

You genuinely are a Golden Unicorn. That someone special behind the title.

Our hopes and wishes are that you just relish in this, new adventure.

Mr. Fun, Thank you very much for your birthday wishes and your kind words.

[femnewb4u2]

Originally Posted by LFM2

Totally agree with fun4D's. We hope you have a wonderful Happy Birthday!!

Aw shucks LM. Thank you. It was a wonderful day.

[femnewb4u2]

Originally Posted by mixtupcpl

Happy birthday!!! (you guys are really good with those uber animated icons) Ill just have to stick with simple text!

Good luck with your trip and whichever way it goes have fun!

If you don't mind sharing, curious why you think you may not be on the same page?

Oh, and btw, your paragraphs are *really* well constructed! (pun intended)

Mr. Mixt,

My thoughts on not being on the same page were around human behavior and psyche experience, in and out of swing world. The fact that I was the first woman he was seeing consistantly in separate play, means that until I came along she has had no experience in being the one doing the sharing in separate play. Up till me, she was the one having the consistent separate play partners. Just my sense of how all of us can get when faced in a new situation was at play here. I believe that no matter how much we prepare ourselves for any activity or situation in life we really do not know how we will react until it happens.

Add to that, in all the times she and I have emailed or IM she never mentioned she had a desire to meet me. Not even a hint. The idea that she would suddenly want to had my spidey senses go off a bit.

[femnewb4u2]

every one for your wishes. It is a joy to have this place to come to.

[mixtupcpl]

Originally Posted by femnewb4u2

Mr. Mixt,

My thoughts on not being on the same page were around human behavior and psyche experience, in and out of swing world. The fact that I was the first woman he was seeing consistantly in separate play, means that until I came along she has had no experience in being the one doing the sharing in separate play. Up till me, she was the one having the consistent separate play partners. Just my sense of how all of us can get when faced in a new situation was at play here. I believe that no matter how much we prepare ourselves for any activity or situation in life we really do not know how we will react until it happens.

Add to that, in all the times she and I have emailed or IM she never mentioned she had a desire to meet me. Not even a hint. The idea that she would suddenly want to had my spidey senses go off a bit.

Completely understand where you are coming from here and can very much relate. I was/am in much the same situation. Would love to hear how this turns out.

[femnewb4u2]

Mr. Mix,

How it turned out is a very long and involved story. First of all my senses were correct. She was experiencing stong jealousy over the playtime her husband and I were engaged in. The weekend was about owning it to me, and seeing where I wanted to go with it. She was aware the issue was not about me, not about her husband, but stemmed way back in her history. And was not a result of anything either of us had actually done but the way she perceived certain actions. The woman is very brave to face what she is facing.

She is very wise in knowing that if she does not work with this, swinging will be over completely for them, separately, and as a couple. And she does enjoy swinging. They each have been active all their adult life. Actually met through swing. And married as swingers.

We had a great time together. So much so that we did play as a threesome in MFF. It was good! A few firsts for me as a birthday gift from them thrown in the sexual activities. In fact, if she can work through this, she and I will be spending social and play time together as well. Right now we have plans to gather in a few weeks for another threesome. Play between he and I alone is suspended for now, but the social will continue when he is in town. We know this will be a long road but for now I do believe the payoff will be most worth it.

You mention you are/were in similar situation. Feel free to PM if you would like to have more conversation in private.

[mixtupcpl]

Originally Posted by femnewb4u2

We had a great time together. So much so that we did play as a threesome in MFF. It was good! A few firsts for me as a birthday gift from them thrown in the sexual activities. In fact, if she can work through this, she and I will be spending social and play time together as well. Right now we have plans to gather in a few weeks for another threesome. Play between he and I alone is suspended for now, but the social will continue when he is in town. We know this will be a long road but for now I do believe the payoff will be most worth it.

Great news! Congratulations! It sounds like it was a wonderful weekend and is making real progress in the right direction. This is another example of how a strong foundation, and open and honest communication, is the absolutely essential.

Also a good example of how jealousy can *always* rear it's head, no matter how experienced you are, and as long as everyone involved respects each other and is willing to communicate it can be worked out.