Extended overseas assignment

[Tadahiko]

Thanks for your great -- and very consistent! -- replies. You've really helped us discuss this intelligently and we agree with your conclusions. We're going to keep to our current rules, they've served us well for many years.

Reading this reminded us of a couple we hadn't thought about in a long time. As I said, we do play with others, but not often, and never with total strangers. Years ago, before we bought our house, a female Naval officer lived in our apartment building for about 6 months. We never met her husband; he was also in the navy and deployed at sea the whole time. When she found out we were poly and were open to playing around some, she asked if she could join in a foursome.

We were very interested (she was HOT!) but concerned about her marriage relationship...we DON'T help people cheat! Anyway, her response was, "Oh, please! We knew from the start that monogamy was just never going to work for us. We're apart too much of the time; one of us is always at sea or off on assignment somewhere. Our marriage is more like tag-team parenting with a recurring, intermittent honeymoon."

We eventually did play with her a number of times (and yes, she was as hot in bed as she looked). We (I guess I should say "I") ended up with a really glorified, almost envious image of their marriage. However, we kept in touch after they were transferred and learned they divorced a couple years later. Not saying that sex was the cause, but I am guessing the open marriage thing didn't "work for them" either.

We've got something that really does "work for us." We've decided to keep it that way.

Thanks for the great food for thought.

[Mr.Essex]

There's an old saying, "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush". Right now, you're the lucky owner of a "bird" in each hand, why risk losing both "birds" to chase after another one? Invest in some Jergen's and some "serviettes", and bide your time until your training is finished.

[Tadahiko]

Just to put to rest an old thread, I am back from Europe, and to answer the big question, NO!, I didn't cheat while I was over there.

Celibacy was not as hard as I thought it would be, mostly because I was kept very busy and spent my time around a bunch of geeky guys!

Being away from the girls was worse because my internet access was provided by my employer and I had to keep that squeaky clean. Thank god for long distance phone calls, a vivid imagination and a healthy right wrist. I did fantasize about a lot of the women I saw over there, but that's allowed, right?

The only time I was *REALLY* tempted/distracted was at Lindos beach in Rhodes, Greece. A Greek classmate of mine brought me home with him on a 4-day break about three weeks after I got there. Several of the women were topless, including my friend's wife. He said (out loud!) that I seemed to be staring at her chest a lot. (I was!) His wife laughed it off and said that I was American, and that should be expected from me. He later asked me which girl I liked best, and didn't I think his wife's body was especially nice? (While grabbing her breasts!) I could never tell if they were trying to flirt or open the door to a more frank discussion of sex, and I clearly knew better than to try to find out. But if he had come right out and said, "Would you like to fuck her when we get home?" I don't know what I would have done. I think my brain would have exploded.

Fortunately, it never happened...except in my mind a few dozen times afterward!

[LFM2]

Originally Posted by Alura

My understanding is that the trip to England is likely to be a turning point in your life. Do well in the training and you're likely headed toward upper management. Do poorly, or get caught embarrassing the company, and you're apt to be sweeping the floors in the warehouse or looking for another job... which may be sweeping floors.

I'd suggest you concentrate on being first in your class at the training. That means hours alone in your hotel room studying material for the third time that you fully understood the second time you studied it.

If your company is like others I've known, someone will be paying attention to what you do outside the classroom. Don't party and don't drink to excess. While a weekend away at Stonehenge or on the continent would be fine, make sure you're back in the classroom bright eyed and mentally sharp on Monday morning.

Concentrate on the job at hand; remember the two lovely women you love, and that you're doing this for them as much as yourself.

Good luck... and congratulations for having earned this opportunity!

Mr. Alura

^^ Exactly what he said!!

[stoked hubby]

All very interesting to me as I might be faced with a very similar situation at the end of this year or early next year. My term could be 18 months however. My wife has summers off so she could come for 3 months at a time at least once. This is something we havent discussed much, but will have to if discussions at work become plans. Thanks for everyone's input on the thread so far and I might have more questions if things progress at work.