The devil is in the details

[swvacouplelookn]

It seems that so far about 70% want every detail and about 30% want some details. Nobody has voted for knowing nothing about the encounters of their s/o. I figure so far this is in line with what I expected.

[sweet_tna]

I think we're the reverse of most couples here in that I'm the one who would want to hear all the details (IF Mr. Sweet ever took the leap and played alone). Mr. Sweet is fine with me giving him the general outline of what happened and knowing I had fun.

=)

[PB&J]

Actually, just last week PB had his first solo fun, and I didn't ask for anything. Didn't matter, except that he (and she!) had a good time (and both assured me that they did)

[GerdOEvert]

Two things.

I think this web site is a way to share details. We all read it to learn new things, and new approaches. And to share our thoughts and approaches. Nothing like this inb the 70's and 80's.

As for details, Eileen and I loved to share them. Sometimes she would swing with a lover or a ffm or mmf in a closed room. Sometimes she would play while I was on travel. I loved hearing what she did and the order in which it was done.

After she finished a closed room, it was so sexy to hear, kiss, taste, tongue, and fuck. I love sloppy second and creme pie. I also loved to watch her give head, or play with another lady. Sexy sexy sexy. Her breasts which were nice, were sometimes massaged with creamey cumm.

The most erotic thing she did was to have a lover over on Sunday morninbg when I took the two kids to the children's museum. They would play for several hours, and then she would tell me, and I would do her more. We both enjoyed that. She is highly sexed, especially just at the beginning of the changes.

Otto and Eileen

[pxjcp]

I vote for the details which I consider a total turn on for me, but a male friend of mine didn't want to know anything when his wife went out for the first time... it was freaking out not about the date but that she would compare her time with him to her date.. I told him man, get a grip.. she loves you, adores you and yall have a great sexual relationship. He darn near went over the deep end.. So she had to stop dating... The swing only together now..

[Brian and Jo]

We always share the details after we have played alone with another partner. For us that is one of the benefits of our open marriage. It is a huge turn on for both of us to hear what the other did and invariably leads to some great sex of our own.

[mysticon]

I don't necessarily have to hear every single detail, but the details do turn me on; it was a turn on for me when my fiance was giving pleasure to another woman, and being pleasured by her. My fiance was the one who actually wasn't so much into details. I would have actually loved to watch him with someone else, but he and the woman he was seeing; weren't into that sort of thing.

[DigginIt]

Originally Posted by willyoats

I voted for all the juicy details. Trouble is that my wife often couldn't recall all the stuff they did

LOL, isn't it amazing how we are all different. I'm a person that can experience something and it's in my memory for a long time to come. I can recall the tiniest of things that made something great but my wife is the type of person that is into the moment but afterwards can only recall a few details.

There has been many times that I have watched her in the heat of the moment and I'll say something like "I loved it when you did ..." and she will be like "I did that?" and I will burst out laughing.

I love the details and they really get me charged sexually and I love to reflect on those memories. For her, it's all about the passion she feels when she's playing and the feelings of it is much more important.

[Adam-n-Eve]

We don't really share a lot of details. It's just not that much of a turn on for us. However, it has nothing to do jealousy or a fear of "bitter times." We don't really get jealous. As others have said, we want to know that the other one had a good time.

It seems like a lot of people get turned on just by the idea of their spouse having sex with others. We've always assumed that it's a plurality of couples get into the lifestyle for just that reason. Guys seem to like it more than the women do, but there are definitely a lot of women who like it as well.

But, it's just not that big a draw for us. I kinda wish it did turn me on more, since the whole idea of talking about it and getting all worked up sounds like fun.

- Adam

[mixtupcpl]

As is the case with most polls, the choices tend to be loaded to provide the answer that the pollster sort of wants.

This isnt a criticism mind you, its just human nature.

I really dont want to answer any of those because I dont feel they're representative. I wouldnt consider hearing details a "turn on" per say, or certainly not the *level* of turn on it is for guys who take it almost to fetish level, but the details don't in any way bother me. Pretty much the same for Mrs. Mix.

It kind of just depends on mood. Im not sure what would be meant by "no details". Is "have a good time?" asking for details? There have been plenty of times Ive just said "how was your night?"

I can say there are *definitely* a subset of (mainly?) men who would enthusiastically check box one because their kink is pretty much the "hotwife"/"cuck" thing. And I do know that there are some open folks I know who have a kind of "dont ask"/'dont tell" policy which I dont get personally, but which works for them

The vast majority of people, though, are probably going to fall somewhere in the middle, but mainly in the way I describe above. It isnt like you have a consistent policy of asking for some/none/all detail, its more that on a given day, you may be more curious than another.

Then there have been other times Ive said "so what were YOU up to tonight? And then still other times when that has lead to a deeper talk where Im curious to know everything.

[olderyder]

Why do I have to have any interest in the details? During our three years in the LS, I have been consistently rejected by the females in the LS. The only times I have not been rejected, it has been in a situation where the male half of the other couple is totally unacceptable to my Mrs either because of age or looks. Seeing as how the only sex available to me is doing MFM with my Mrs or watching her do somebody else, been there, done that, ad nauseum. It doesn't interest me anymore.

[Playful1]

i am single, but its complicated, and to that extent, this answer is regarding the guy i am involved with...

i love hearing every bit of it! i find it hot to hear about his experience and what he thought of people and all the fun he had. It pretty much always makes me want to jump him, lol. My first question after i know he's been playing the night before, is 'so, how was your night?'

[MN Tom]

We like to share the details, and how deep we go into detail sharing all depends on how we feel at the time. Neither of us has gone into a porn story minutae detail listing, moreso of a general feeling and thoughts type of rendition with some physical details about it.

I would say I like to hear the details more than my wife does.

[janaandjames]

I dont do it often, but he loves staying at home imagining what i am doing, when i get home he is sooooo turned on and wants some detail. he tells me which details he wants.
I generally get a really nice second helping of sex then
he has never expressed a desire to play alone, i think other than whether he had a good time would be all i would want..

[BigNikki]

Big Nikki here.

Sorry, we just don't fit into the poll categories.

Sometimes we like to tell and sometimes we don't.

Sometimes we want to hear and sometimes that's just too boring.

But the good part is the game we play -- sometimes telling sometimes withholding when the other is eager to hear. It's a tease, of course, and it can be a delicious tease.

Just writing about it is getting me excited. John is away, it's Sunday and the wife next door isn't free, but my Lelo is fully charged.

-- Big Nikki